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Jason's self-acceptance journal


Jason70
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hey all its been a while! 
 

 

after my 90 days without gaming, i went a few weeks longer without games. all of a sudden the fear of covid and division of my country (usa) just shocked my senses. these thoughts and external factors caused me to relapse again, instead of putting what matters ahead of me. i need to start anew. so im going to be posting here instead of my old journal. also while this journal is focused on a detox, its also focused more on self-acceptance and love, forgiveness, and openess to myself and others. me for my past and for gaming and just mishaps. writing here helped me last time, so i have great confidence that it will help me again. 

anyway, today's day 1.

i didn't game today, but i slept in till like 11:00 am. the cause for that was i watched cruella late at night with my friends. i didnt get to my bed until like 1:45 in the morning. doing something like this every once in a while is fine, but i haven't had the best sleep schedule so its best to avoid it for now. not completely, just do it at an earlier time. im going to download a sleep app and set a time i want to go to bed and when i want to wake up each day. i have to remember too, just because my roommates or friends live one way doesn't mean i need to follow. im gonna move on to the positives now. i got a lot of work completed, and i went out to my towns local coffee shop. today i also noticed how bad venting is. i used to vent constantly when something pissed me off, i realized doing that, at least for me causes you to see the world in a negative paradigm. going to find alternative ways to remove anger, such as just letting it go. 
 

for the rest of my day i have a theater rehearsal at 6:30 and before that i'm going to continue to write my novel and finish up work. going to meditate tonight too, lost the habit of doing that

best 

jason

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hey again

 

id say in terms of accomplishment, day 2 was lackluster. i just couldn't force myself to do anything. no, that sentence is wrong. ive learned from past experience that "couldn't" and "force" are just bad words in my eyes. come with a negative connotation. i shouldnt force myself to do things. i should do things because i want to do them, i have a passion, or just eager to learn about them. as for "couldnt" fuck it. i can do anything i just want to pursue it and continue doing it. through this method i found my love for theater. originally i thought i wasnt cut out for it because i never did theater or acted before, but i found out im great at it. also helps with anxiety. i want to find more activities like that. i will brainstorm early tomorrow about hobbies that allow me to branch out, that are different, that let me be me, and be proud of that. referring to my first point though i can say i didnt game today, thats an accomplishment, another is i didnt judge anyone today. so yay. i know self love doesnt come from external factors but im saying if i loved myself i would do the things that i want to do and want to achieve. i think for now i just need to block out distractions, one of those being listening to music. 

anyway i have a question for y'all. would you consider kahoot a game if its being used for educational reasons, how does that impact me compared to other games. i know its advertised as a fun way to learn but should i avoid it?

 

may your spirit guide you

jason

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Only you can know how a particular use case for technology might affect you. I've never used the app in question, but do you feel that the material offered is comprehensive and valuable enough to be worth the risk? Are there perhaps other learning methods that you enjoy/tolerate enough to serve as a substitute for the time being?

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