dandielionous

I am so tired. I walked my bike and rode but had to walk a lot. I am so out of shape from sitting in front of this computer so long. I am shocked at the damage I have done to myself. If I had played that game another year I'd probably be dead. It took me all day and now I am exhausted. I had to walk four miles one way and four miles back. Then get my tank and walk to the Wal-Mart with my bike to carry the propane tank and walk back. I left about 10 this morning and made it back all done about 5:30. -I am grateful to the volunteer who handed me twenty dollars to get propane because I had been to Good Samaritans once too often. -I am grateful my house is getting warm. -I am grateful I have food. As I got tireder I got angrier. All the hate from gaming started coming back. I was flipping the bird at cars that cut me off on the last part of the trek home. Roarrrrrr. Then I remembered.... In early recovery it's better not to get too tired. Oh well. I didn't get my paper work done but I've had a good day.

Welcome Jasper! I'm glad you're here.

@Reno I have made it a goal to read one journal a day! DING,DING,DING you are today's winner! lol I too am interested in writing. I have always thought at some point in my life I would sit down and do the writing I have always wanted to do. I am very proud of you for making the efforts you have made in that direction Have you looked at this site? Smashwords I am seriously considering writing anything and putting it on there for free just to get myself started. Ourlining To outline or not to outline that is the question. Sometimes I wonder which is the best way to go.... It seems as though I lose my story sometimes through the outline. Maybe I'm just not outlining well enough.... Another way it seems for me to lose the thread of my story is using grammer checking in a word processor. By the time I get done correcting all the grammer I have a different story than the one I started with. I think I will turn off my spell checker next time I write so I'm not distracted from the flow of my thoughts related to the story then check the spelling afterwards. @Reno Thank you for being supportive of me! You recovery is my recovery. We are not alone.

Welcome back. I am glad you came back. My recovery is dependent on your recovery. I could quit by myself but it's wicked hard. So each person who comes to Game Quitters helps in my recovery. I have been sitting here thinking about the fact that if/when I have more time that I want to stay around Game Quitters. It's good for noobs to see people with long term recovery. This is such a new area there just aren't people sitting here with fifty years in the program. So in a way we're all part of the focus beta group. Yes recovery programs have been around but I need the understanding of a fellow gamer. Best Luck! I hope the best for you

Day 8 I am running out of propane. I have no money. My check doesn't come in until the 28th this month. I need to go to the local charity to see if they can help today. I don't know if they can because while I've been sitting here gaming, I had to go to them several times for help. I just haven't paid the attention to details of the real world the way I should. Today I need to fill out the papers to start applying for things I need. There are programs that will help me fix my house, reduce the cost of my electricity, section eight housing for the elderly and Medicaid/Medicare, SSI, Spousal support from SS. I haven't done any of these things. So goal for today. Fill out the paper work on some of these and go to see if I can get help with Propane. I ride a bicycle and the charity is about 4 miles away. I have made the ride before many times. It is good for me to exercise. The hardest part is the COPD that I haven't helped by sitting here puffing on little cigars as hard as I could. I can make it if I take my time. You think I would be old enough to know better than to put myself in this position. I know this.... There is no way I can game.

@workinprogress Brave man Archlinux

I love LXDE. I believe that's what Zenwalk uses... no wait that's xfce.

Ha ha ha I am being so lazy! I am using Cinnamon. mmmm maybe this is something I could do in my life get involved in linux again

Hey Wiseguy I really wanted to try LoL at one point. Somehow I thought switching games would make a difference. My game of choice was Ryzom. Maybe you're having trouble with LoL because they purposely make the game more addictive than other games you play? I have spent the last year and a half losing friends, destroying my life to play a game that everyone keeps telling me, "I don't see anything wrong with you playing that." So at least your family is aware that you are having a problem. They are trying to be supportive. Keep coming back

I've tried quite a few Linux distros. Presently I am using Linux Mint Rosa. Basically because I am tired of configuring things by hand Linux is fascinating and I believe if you can do sysadmin you can get a good job! WB to Game Quitters You can do it!

You saw yourself getting into dangerous territory and you did what it takes to get back on track. That in my book is a success.

Schwing I am making it a goal to read one journal a day. (that is not mine ) Today you are the grand prize winner! I have read your journal Thank you for the support you give to me Schwing it helps

I have to remind myself to stay in the moment. I am right here, right now. I must look at the floor, the ceiling, at my toes and fingers. I am right here right now. All I have to worry about is getting through today without gaming. If I make it through today without gaming, then I have had a successful day.

Gratz on day 5! It does get better

Welcome Adrian

This is an interesting article. Hooked Article by Forbes I think some sort of legislation needs started on this.

Watched this video Hooked Yes this explains a lot. I think this should be illegal to over do this.

7 days (1 week) @Cam I can not afford the book. I looked it up. Bookmarked the page There are Youtube videos by this author also with the same title. I will watch those and see if there is a library I can download the ebook from. It looks like an interesting read... @Reno F That link wouldn't load for me I will try again after my journal. Getting garbage out of my house has made most the rats go away. I took a shower and washed my hair yesterday. It's incredible to me how long I went without doing that. Me, a person who used to wake up every morning and take a shower. I am walking around my house. While I was playing the game I almost felt as though I was doing something wrong by taking a bio. There are many times I just wanted to take a break from the game. But no we must be good little robots and grind, grind, grind. I am probably very fortunate that the community turned on me and the main thing the game offered was grind because otherwise I'd probably still be sitting there. The swelling has gone down in my ankles, feet, toes. I sat in front of my computer not moving with my legs crossed. I remember one day I went out to talk to my landlord. I almost passed out. I told her I needed to go get some food. She freaked out. She thought I didn't have money for food. She took $60. out of her person and gave it to me. Told me she hated to see me that way. This is on a day when she came to talk to me about the rent and cleaning up my yard! Now how bad did I look? I was addicted to Medievia before. I lost my job, college and home behind it. Ultima Online lost my home behind it. Each time when I go back it is just for a few hours. Maybe just today... I seem to see a pattern here.

I managed to connect to Discord through my browser

7 days! One Whole Week! I will keep track on my journal now dandielionous my journal

Well to be honest I miss it too. But when I think about how I would spend my time when I got back.... Maybe the game you were playing didn't have as much grind as mine. I would go back... naw I wouldn't grind... I'd go pvp. okay BUT I can't see grinding for 24 hours and considering that relaxing or progressive. What is the point of grinding for 24 hours on something that will take me another year to master and I'm only playing for an hour right? yeah right. I don't know if that makes sense to you. I guess my moment of clarity came one day when I was congratulating myself on getting ten levels when most people could only manage 1 or 2 at the level I was at. It's like wow made a big achievement in my life today I made ten levels! And then I look around the world around me. What difference does that make in the grand scheme of the universe? Is that about personal growth. Any respect from the gaming community? Ha no way to get any respect in that game! Cold weather, no car, sounds like a good time for popcorn and hot coco Maybe a good movie I watched Zodiac the other night was really good

I tried to download the app but it closed my browser. I am using Linux Mint Rosa. Thank you for the info. I will try to make it work

@Reno F I was doing research on the internet, I stumbled across something about a site for game designers to learn how to make a game more addictive. I relate this to tobacco companies adding things to their cigarettes to make them more addictive. Laws have been made to stop some of this practice. Also Coke used to have cocaine in it which is no longer legal. I'm just talking from my personal experience and analytical thinking from my computer background but I think there is something .... it's hard to explain. Something about a game having no end game. Of constantly grinding making it seem as though there is an obtainable goal when in reality there is none. There is something wrong there. A way we are getting hooked like subliminal messaging. The colored lights? The pretty scenery. Of making goals just out of reach. Disturbing sleep patterns with something that has to be done in the middle of the night. I don't know. I just know something isn't right. It's messing with our brains somehow. Aside from that I probably would have gotten addicted anyway. I don't know. I never got addicted to jump rope, checkers or solitaire.

dandielionous-My Journal Show me your's I'll show you mine And yes I see you are willing Step 2 Admit to myself I am powerless over the game. I can not play one hour. The game controls me.

@Ben W RE: Lice Lice are very hard to get rid of. A step in the right direction is that kit you bought for $20. Keep the comb. I had lice before and this is some of what I did to get rid of them. -bought $20 kit -bought Sergeants flea and tick shampoo for dogs. Use this every day and comb through with little comb from kit. This gets rid of eggs (little white specks) and dead lice. -wash all bedding and spray mattress with some kind of bug killer (especially in seams) -use kerosene to coat hair (leave on for a while, then wash out) kerosene can burn so might only be five minutes -spray your house Congrats on not playing