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Jasper

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About Jasper

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  1. Thanks for the kind words all. I want to start by saying I think what you've done here is very noble and significant, Cam. I know you've made a very positive impact in many lives and I appreciate all your work. In the event that someone can relate to anything I've experienced I thought it would be worth posting this. Honestly though, I don't feel any different than I did before I stopped gaming. I used to spend most of my evenings after work gaming and then I would feel a shame of sorts over having spent the whole night doing practically nothing. I filled the void of gaming with watching documentaries and other shows which I feel I can take something away from the viewing experience. I started building scale models of cars and learned some new programming languages which I've enjoyed. I also learned how to create 3D models in Blender which is a lot of fun too. Unfortunately from November to May-ish it's just too damn cold to go outside where I'm from. I've been working a full time job as a software tester for just over a year now and that has been keeping me somewhat busy. After work I feel so 'drained' though and I always feel like I have to sit and zone out as a result of the weather and my physical exhaustion (from sitting down.. which makes no sense whatsoever). I do not like being lazy, I do not consider myself lazy and I am a very organized and clean person, it's just a learned habit from many years of 'go to school. panic the whole day. come home and finally gain the ability to breathe again. recover from the physical pain of anxiety. repeat'. I have some pretty heavy diagnosis' concerning social anxiety and major depressive and only very recently have I become aware and sought out treatment. Due to the many years I've spent completely consumed by my anxiety and depression, giving into it and running from everything, I have not perceived going out after work/school or on the weekends as a positive thing, therefore I don't do it unless I have to get groceries or see my shrink I haven't had the desire to go places and do things alone or to meet others since, well, forever actually. It's always been a scary experience because I literally feel like I'm drowning when I'm in public and always have. I suddenly lose all of my breath when talking to others and I feel this awful embarrassed, sort of butterflies-in-the-stomach feeling all over my body, pretty much every time I open my mouth. I consider myself as having no friends and I'm very negatively biased towards most people due to very powerful trust issues stemming from an unstable, emotionally dead family life. So yeah, I haven't met anyone aside from a few people at work. I have an amazing girlfriend who means everything to me. She's my best friend and we have a lot in common in terms of our struggles and experiences. I spend a lot of time with her and we have a very deep connection for which I am very thankful for. I have other addictions which I must address and if there's one thing I've learned from doing this 90 day challenge, it's that: quitting the act of gaming is moot if you fill the void with other screen time. It's very difficult for me to just sit in silence with my thoughts as they are often very abusive and self-sabotaging in nature, so I usually have a documentary on or some other YouTube playlist going. However, I'm beginning to see all computer time as contributions to my addictive tendencies and I'm considering getting rid of my PC all together. Anywhoos, sorry for the long-winded depressing rant. tl:dr; do not fill gaming gap with other screen-related activities.
  2. Make a goal of two weeks and then come back and reflect on what you've written in this post. Bring the finish line closer. I think you'll be surprised at what you've written here when your perspective has shifted two weeks from now. Studies show that marathon runners who can "see the finish line" are able to perform better with what they report as (what they perceive as) less effort. The same goes for trying to lose weight: don't set a goal of 50 lbs because you can't see the finish line and you'll be more likely to give up. Think about two weeks ago and really think for a minute about how fast two weeks goes. You can do two weeks, you will survive and you will feel very different than how you do now reading this post. Start with that and then repeat for 90 days if you have to. I am a week away from 90 days and I thought it was never going to happen either but after two weeks and forcing myself to pick up another hobby, the journey became easy for me. I went to a craft store and spent $100 on everything I'd need to put together a few scale model car kits. It felt forced but I genuinely enjoyed every minute of it once I got started. Good luck man, you can do this!
  3. Well guys, I did it. I'm exactly one week away from the 90 day mark.
  4. Hello everybody! I have always been very absorbed by video games but lately GTA V is my 'drug of choice'. I am having great difficulty finding things to do because I am currently unemployed (but seeking work) and live at home with my parents for the time being after recovering from a serious depression. I feel like finding things to do if you live in California is a whole different universe compared to living in a small town that has deadly freezing temperatures for 6-7 months of the year. It gets dark here at 4:30 pm and I can't go outside for longer than a few minutes without losing all feeling in my face and extremities. I am 25, I have a loving partner I spend time with when she is not busy and I have no other friends because I have had to cut out my 'druggie' friends leaving me with practically none. It is really, really hard after spending every waking minute alone engrossed in a video game world for almost 20 years to suddenly stop cold turkey and be totally ok. I have intense ADHD and I haven't been able to afford meds so I have very little motivation and energy to do anything other than watch documentaries and play with my cat. I try reading but it's just soo boring compared to playing video games and I struggle to stay focused. I'm on day 5 or 6 of not playing any games whatsoever and... wow I'm bored. Anyone here have similar experience? If it was always sunny and beautiful and if there were things to do outside without having to drive for 30 minutes, I'd be on that. I feel that this challenge is harder for people who live in isolated areas like myself and I'm wondering if cold-turkey is not the solution here.
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