tirEdOrange

First of all: welcome to the forums and good job on starting your journal! I can totally relate to this and I'm glad that you share it here with us. I can calm you that you will probably learn here how to handle such situations, as I did. I was usually depressed with similar thoughts for weeks but after a lot of support and good advices from this forum this time shrinks to day(s) instead of weeks and made me instantly get back on track. I'm surprised about the effectiveness of my own changes regarding this problem. The people here are really awesome and helpful and I'm glad you have joined us I don't know you personally but the fact that you want to improve yourself by tuning down your gaming time so you can pursue your goals better seems like a good personal "flaw" to me After all you have decided to improve yourself and this already shows a part of your dedication and that can be admired if you stay commited to it. If you feel miserable about your actual personality, and I can understand that because I felt the same when I started my detox, then start to think about the person that you will become after this journey and feel free to start to feel proud and great about this person because: you have already done your first step to become this person and you are on the right track to get there we'll be on this journey with you! I'm glad you have people around that are willed to help you with your problem

Welcome, it is a grown-up decision for your age that most teenager can't make. My respect to you. Make sure to keep track of your Journal and Detox! Also congrats to your first kiss hehe

Welcome to the forums, I have just stumbled upon your Journal. During my first week I had to talk myself to do a Journal because I didn't expected it to be so important. The Journal was in fact the most important thing during my detox because in the end you don't write here for the others but mostly for yourself, so you can track your own feelings and thoughts and sort them out. Just keep in mind that this is still a public place, since we're here in the internet after all. Anyway, you have great improvements for a week and I hope you keep it up! Reading other Journals is a great start and replacement for gaming in the beginning

I have heard once that too much green tea isn't that healthy either, so you probably want to inform yourself about that as well. Could also be untrue, just wanted to throw this in^^ I don't know if you've tried Yoga yet but my first experience with it was great. I was very very skeptic about it in the beginning but I plan to go to Yoga class again as soon as I can (which will be in 4 weeks hehe) I can relate to the Spiritual problem that you have, but feel free to believe in whatever you like to. I can confirm that I had my most productive times when I believed that "God would challenge me and make it as hard for me as possible" without actively interfering with me, even though on the other hand I never believed in any kind of God at that time but I hope you get my point. I made it to help myself with my goal in the end. I was also quite young at that age, so I would probably formulate it differently this time Overall your plan seems really really awesome, I love it. Did you make this picture yourself?

Reading your Journal is great. I love seeing this advancement in your life, very motivating! Keep it up

I feel similar at the moment but today is also a bad day to write about it for me. Just wanted you to know that you are not alone, maybe it's a usual thing around day 55

I don't have the time right now to learn a second language but it will change after some weeks. Learning a new language seems like an interesting Idea and the website looks promising. Thanks for sharing!

"Talent is just a start value, it means nothing if you don't work. If there is anyone, who is willed to work while you rest on your talents, he will surpass you and he will know what he has to do to keep going while all that you are will be.... some talented guy who will never understand how he couldn't make it. I swear to you, no one is at the top because he is talented in something, it is because they MADE working their talent and that's the difference between you and them. Remember my words when you will fail." - some random guy that changed my life. Needlessly to say that I failed. But it gave me the most important lesson in my life: what it's like to be on the wrong side. I wasn't a worker when I failed, I was talented and rested. But realising the value of what he said to me at that time after I failed at my "goal" was a necessity for me. It's the reason why I can train 2 times per day, why I have written every 2 hours in my calender that I need to eat, even though I'm not hungry and why I am going early to bed so I can rest and restore myself for the next day(and many other things I do for the purpose of preparing myself to work efficiently): It's because I'm a worker, I'm a maker and this has become my talent. Don't get me wrong though, I wasn't born a worker, it's something that I got talented in. And this is the reason why you WILL succeed, you chose to be a worker and went out of your talents and that will make all the difference in the end. You know what it's like to diddle around with your time and waste it. To feel bad about this fact and this is the reason why you chose to become a Hero. Maybe it was a necessity, maybe it will make a huge difference in the end and lets you understand things in a way other people won't be able to understand. I know the feeling when you see other succesful people and think "Why haven't I done what they did so I could be like this now?" but that's the point! You are a unique set of atoms and experiences and because of that you can have a unique influence on people and change their life, just like this random guy did change mine. He had a looot of failure, but this guy is currently doing triathlons with insane times, has won several champion cups in different Ballroom dances and still has time for a job, family and other hobbies and he's like 52 or something. But the most important thing is that he said this to me when he was in my train once for 2 hours and he wouldn't have said that without the failure that he had. Of course he could had done some things better but then he wouldn't had the experiences to touch my life so much with bare words, it's insane! and I can't even thank him or something because even if I did, he wouldn't even remember me, life is cruel haha. but who knows where our paths will probably lead to Trust me, things like gaming, midless browsing and many other things can be such a small unnecessary thing in your life if you choose to be a worker, to be a hero. But if you want to be a Hero, then you will need to behave like one. And you already chose to be on the right side "Don't cry to quit! You're already in pain, you're already hurt! Get a reward from it!" - [Eric Thomas, Secrets to success]

Don't worry about the time factor. Imagine if everyone would be able to draw great in 3 days. No one would appreciate it anymore, no one would give you the recognition for the effort that you put in it. You wanted to change 26 days ago so you can have a better future, for you and your son(s) and your future begins now. I don't have much to do with art but I believe that you can redefine yourself every single day with the actions that you do. Remember your future plans that you possibly wrote down and remember why you wanted to change your life, you can totally do it. Many people here come from dark places, but you have to keep walking towards the light and focus it instead of wondering about your shadow that the light casts. Your shadow will always follow you no matter what, but it is nothing more than a shadow of yourself, not what you are! By definition, the most courageous heroes are the ones, that had been the biggest cowards but still decided to go for it because it took them the most courage to make this step. So by that definition, the biggest Loser can also be the greatest Hero as long as he goes for it. You just have to decide to be a hero and not a victim of your fears.

I love the quote Respect from others is earned by the things we do, Respect from ourselves is gifted as long as we realize what we have already done. I enjoy seeing the progress in your work. Feel free to feel a little bit mentally restored by the respect that I want to pay you now for your (growing) attitude and persistent work. I admire it! By the way, I danced too for a longer time some ballroomdances, but only the traditional ones. It's great how 2 people can work together with their bodies to achieve cool moves and connections, totally feel you there

Hey Jared, thanks for being so open and welcome to the forum, it's nice that you can get something off your chest here. Don't forget to start your Respawnplan (and uninstall games for example). Wish you best of success and I'm looking forward to read your Journal

Welcome Zack, I'm glad to see you picked up the power to change and we're here to help you with that!

Hey Colin, I'm trying to find some things for this situation as well and I don't know how much of a fitness fan you're but for me "preparing meals" works pretty great at the moment. I just had like a super full weekend with around 14 hours of sports and 10 hours of work, today I woke up and felt like doing nothing and if it would had been 4 weeks ago I would had played video games on the couch for 6 hours. Instead I made myself a nice breakfast, restored some energy and then went and bought some food and prepared it for the next 2 days and I already feel like I'm ready to go now for something, either physical or mental. Also I had like relaxing 3 hours enjoying different smells and tastes while not really draining my powers, physically and mentally. Maybe that Idea could sometimes work for you too if you're into eating habits and working out.

Hi Luquelli! Haha I did the exact same thing, writing such a huge wall of text and then deleting half of it, totally feel you there. Welcome to the forums and don't forget to work off the steps from Respawn to make sure you make it as hard as possible to relapse and etc.

Welcome Matt, looking forward to read your Journal and see your progress

There is no learning without failure. Hang in there, no master was born yet, you are making the right choices.

Hi Ashley, First of all welcome! Nice to have you here with us Don't lose faith in your decision because of some circumstances, it will be worth 100% in the end and we are with you on this adventure. With that being said: I agree with @WorkInProgress. If your Husband wants to quit he will likely quit. Forcing him won't probably solve it in the long-term. Just make it clear to him that you want to quit gaming and you would like his support for that because after all the things that you will learn, are things for yourselves. And if you have learned these real-life or "not-gaming" skills you can still help him when he is ready I have a gamer S.O. myself and asked for nothing more than understanding my situation and not leading me into gaming during the next time. At the moment she is so impressed with my changes that she tries to catch up the train and makes her own efforts to plan better through her day. When I started my detox I was also very unethusiastic and unmotivated. I also slept up to 10-11 hours a day just because I didn't knew what to do instead and I was still tired. Also I had a lot of time and reading through different Journals and learning from other peoples experiences helped me out a lot there in the beginning and motivated me. It's a nice way to spend the free time that would otherwise be filled with gaming and get some ideas.

uff... well this is a sensitive topic that allows a lot of opinions and answers. I will answer all your questions and then write my own opinion to this topic(warning large post): - Is it ethical to develop games? it's morality is positive or negative? -->ethically there is surely nothing wrong with simply developing games. Developing games just for being costly and addictive to squeeze out the maximum of people who are (most likely somehow) already at the bottom side however is moraly wrong and disgusting... Abusing the human psychology so they get addicted to your product is simply wrong...BUT (see next question) - Who is responsable of videogame addiction game developers or videogame players? --> it is not the developers fault in the end. If these people wouldn't fall for videogames it could had easily been something else. There needs to be enlightment in this topic and (the keyword to it all) AWARENESS of it as well as the REACHABLE offer to help (like there is for psychological(depression etc.) and physiological(drugs etc.) cases). And that's why we need to spread awareness about it and that's why Cam is a hero for taking the initiative here. Both are responsible in this relationsship. Game developers design their product to be catchy and addictive but that's just how many things are and how a lot of business works (sadly) and that's not just the case with videogames. Game developers lay out a "Gamer-trap" (see it as a bear trap in game form) and the videogame players are dumb enough to fall for it because they don't know it better and it is decorated pretty. But what we can do, is to make everyone realize that in fact it can be just a trap (and not "just a game") and help in case someone wants to get out of this trap. - If a kid is addicted to videogames is it the fathers fault? --> Depends on the age of the kid. If it is a young kid that can't make rational decisions and it's already getting addicted to it, definitly the father's fault. If it's a teenager who is already capable of making rational decisions, it is partially the father's fault. There is a time when parents need to give their kids the chance to make rational decisions in their life so they learn how to handle situation, but just mindlessly looking how your child gets addicted to videogames and solves his problems this way definitly is not the right way. I mean,... we all wouldn't just watch our kids smoking everytime they feel stressed right? But at some point in their life it's just their decision...The teenager should definitly be encouraged to do the right rational decisions though, but gaming is such an modern, unknown addiction that most parents just can't help themselves. - Where do videogame developers draw the line between making their product too addictive? --> Nowhere. The more popular their product gets and the more people keep on playing it, the better. You read nowadays more about the creator of addictive apps getting rich than about people that ruin their lives with their addiction and this is a bad encouragement. There needs to be more awareness in any way. Imagine there would be a GameQuitter Sticker in every game so you would think "huh? what's that? oh really there is a gaming addiction and even help for it? I didn't knew that! *throws it away to find it probably later*" or a message that says "gaming addiction ruins the lives of million" with a picture of a completly dilapidated human-being(like they do with cigarettes), do you think you would had quit way earlier if there would had been these warning messages? We need to help ourselves as a community by spreading awareness and helping those in need like we do - Is their fault or is it fault of the capitalism? --> I wish i could say: Totally the fault of capitalism. Maybe I'm a bit naive here but I honestly don't think that people intentionally design products to ruin peoples lifes just for the sake of ruining their lifes. But in the end those people decided to do it (intentionally or unintentionally) and as we learn here everyone has the power to decide, and these people decided for power and money for the cost of other persons free will. But once again, this and other addictions/problems are enemies that mankind is going to have together. And there will be many other enemies that come and stay for a while that we need to fight off together, so there is actually no point in bothering whose fault it is but in thinking about how can we solve this whole thing and prevent from happening it again. Because money will always influence people, there is no way to change it. But we can always change a persons attitude towards this influence and the repercussions of it. Not everyone has to decide to be a greedy sh*t for the sake of other people's health/will as well as all people don't have to fall for the sh*t these people are doing. Also, this is not a problem everyone has. Some people can't handle alcohol, so is it the creators or the substances fault? Should we now stop producing alcohol at all because some people can't handle it? Some people can't handle money, should we now forbid to spent money? We need to work with people not with the system or at least create systems that work with people. And it is possible that 2 systems can coexist, so we can have capitalism and a society that works with people and not just with money .... but that is up to anyone and a little bit off-topic, back to the point: So the keypoint for me here is awareness. But since this is all a modern thing it is hard to spread it so effectively and definitly needs a new and innovative way of doing so (just spreading some sentences on game boxes obviously won't do it with all the modern techniques of online purchases). I want to point out again that this is just my opinion. If you think it is helpful in some points then that's cool and if you think I am just talking nonsense that's fine too Feel free to discuss with me about some topics so we can possibly find answers that we can both agree on

I think it has something to do with the fact that it is such an "unknown" addiction. I personally saw it as a personal flaw myself until I got to see how hard the detox can hit you (or me in this case...hehe). For me gaming addiction is now just the same like other addictions, in fact it's kinda scary to see now what can be addictive... it's insane. I just saw a Tedx Talk about someone being addicted to a step counter until she seriously injured her neck because of it... I think the danger of being addicted to something is growing more and more and in the near future there will surely be the need of enlightment, but right now most people are not at the point of realising this. Also addictions are a very private thing (as stated), so it's awkward to talk about it I guess.

Also welcome from me Hobedaga, It's nice that you didn't gave up on yourself and made the decision to be with us now, it is easier to fight together. Wish you best of success and I'm looking forward to read your Journal!

I can understand that you have a low self-worth but to be honest: I don't think that there is a reason for that Since my first day here you have been very kind and welcoming even you were unsure about it all for yourself also I had the privilege to chat privately with you and enjoyed it a lot. You are very kind, thoughtful and forthcoming, otherwise you wouldn't had offered me to chat privately and that helped me a lot. As you stated, everyone has his flaws and that is okay because as long as you can live with them and they don't harm others, why should I even bother about them. At worst they would make you funny or interesting. So don't worry too much about these things and don't be scared. For example: it seems like you think a lot and you are a lot in the nature so you probably also know a lot about it, I would love to have philosophical talk in the woods, while probably also learning something about it and you seem like the perfect partner for that And this is just a thing that an internet stranger knows about you by the facts that you presented to him, I think there is even a lot more interesting and cool things that someone could learn with/from you. I know it is all a little bit more complicated in real life but it can also be as simple as that: Start to embrace and love yourself and you can love others. And by loving others you give them the greatest gift they can get Giving someone your wisdom, time and energy for example by spending time with them, giving them good advices or just giving them the permission to talk with you privately if they need someone to talk with is something that is really underappreciated these days by many persons. Just the fact that you are here shows that you want to improve yourself (whether it's gaming or other personal flaws) and that combined with your personality is something that I can respect a lot. Take it step-by-step. You don't have to solve your whole life in the next three weeks, not even during the 90-days Detox. I also have some procrastination-flaws at the moment even though I wished I just wouldn't have them and do a perfect detox. But the detox is not something that will change you into the perfect human being after 90 detox, it is more like the key to a door that can open so you can get on the way to the road of being the perfect human being (for yourself). It is more important what we learn on our road during this detox than just simply change our habit for 90 days and then go back to our older selves that we were so unhappy about. I would recommend to face the enemy in front of you (incoming exams) and after that you can still rethink everything else. Preparing for exams while doing the Detox is already a challenging task in my opinion, so if you are done with them you can still think about the other things while still doing the detox, it's not like these thoughts are going run away anyway

I know you are already here for at least 7 Days but I wanted to welcome you, it's nice to be here with you on this adventure and I respect your ambitious character a lot. In fact seeing you being so determined to your goals motivates me as well, so thanks for making the decision to come here and keep it up! I'm certain it will pay off 100% and you will learn as much from everyone here as everyone here will learn from you during your journey Excited to see your progress and reading your Journal. Oh and as for the Library part on Day 4: I have the same struggles but I start to go there from time to time and just "spent" my time with books I enjoy, packing a lunch that I can enjoy outside for some minutes before keeping up reading books inside so I get more familiar with the environment. This way I can also improve my cooking skills and get used to being in the library for being productive in the future. Also the advice of play_time_is_over is very useful, you should always aim to give 110%, but a muscle only grows while you rest and not if you use it all the time. This also goes for the mind. So keep in mind that you will need to have your resting time/activities that fill up your energy and willpower stocks and that gaming was your usual way to do this (well at least somehow I guess), so you need other resting activities that replace them. If you replace it with more work or challenging activities, you will probably have a harder time to replace the "fun" that games brought along with them. Meeting up with friends and convincing them to try new hobbies(rock climbing) and new activities (Dungeon & Dragons alike games) worked great so far for me and we are frequently meeting up now for these or other new things Great experiences. Oh and on a sidenote to give you an example: From a pool of around 12 online people and 8 reallife friends that I gamed with (there was even some family involved in this) only 3 were ready to take their time and experience these new things with me and the others don't even cared since I don't game anymore with them and that's okay since it was our only connection after all and it is gone now. The real friends that appreciate me and my character are now trying to bond with me with other things just as much as I try to bond with them, so just by that act I can see what friendsships are worthy to hold (and be loyal to). If I would stay friends with the others I would just commit myself to the miserable habit of staying the way I am because the other want to stay the way they are and I could never change to being the better me, so perfect words there from Cam.

Welcome Willy, very grown-up decision for your age. I agree with Daniel's recommendation and hope the best for you!

I also have all of a sudden a harder urge to relapse, I guess this is kind of "normal". Maybe the first hype is gone and now it's pure willpower that is needed. It gets quite tough but stay strong, I have the same feelings at the moment but time is your friend not your enemy. The more time we get through the detox the more we will get "normal" and appreciate other things again I guess. Don't worry too much about it, just let the time flow and swim and relax in the time-river They didn't build Rome in 11 Days as well didn't they? ^^

Hi Shine Magical, Welcome to the forum and nice you joined us here! As far as I can tell it helps a lot to share your thoughts and feelings here and I'm sure you will have a great experience I'm going throught the Detox as well right now. Also your song made me grin, haha thanks for that