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ReturnToNormal

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  1. Day 14 of no gaming. My god I gained fat haha! I went from 170 very good shape to 204 in a year. Granted I did gain some good size from that and my frame has widen in a good way, but so has my weight. I used to look very good in a suit, but now I'm built kind of like a doorframe! So today I'm going to go for more walks with my mother as we're stuck in quarantine. Haven't seen a gym in almost a year because they're never opened. They also closed my local money bar workout zone so I've had to find alternatives to staying fit. It's not all negative because I had really bad relationship
  2. Day 13 of no gaming. A lot of has happened in the last few days. Got a job interview and passed first round. In person interview in a few days, I've had to order new pants because I gained some weight this last year for the interview. Very excited and I really hope to get this job. To celebrate... I tried to play Terraria. Played a few minutes and I hated it. It was boring and just a bad time. I'm not going to count that as breaking the streak because it wasn't significant, but reaffirmed that I don't want to play games again. Been really trying to figure out where I want my life t
  3. At this point, I see it like a ship drifting in the wrong direction with a captain and crew (that's me!) who has been distracted the entire time. And by the time I realized the ship was heading for the rocks, it was a bit too late despite the rapid steering that I've done in the last few days. I guess this is just collateral and it's a good reminder to not let things slip going forward. Speaking about not letting things slip, I'm going to workout again today. Last few days I've been too stressed about the idea of this exam. Thank you again for replying, it helps a lot to discuss this stuff wit
  4. Day 11 of no gaming. Found out just now I made a huge fuck up. On my third test, one of my questions didn't save. I had a copy on my old PC with the time stamp to show I completed during the test time. I missed the deadline to ask for a regrade by just two days. If I had been more diligent this semester and realized that we get to see where we lost marks on our tests, I would be guaranteed 100% to pass this course. I'm really kicking myself right now because of this mistake. I am happy however, that I've been taking every step possible to ensure it doesn't bite me in the butt. Still study
  5. Hey again! I definitely agree with that sentiment. Right now it's just a combination of time crunch and not knowing the OS, but over time I'm sure I can master it just like I did with Windows. The best part about MacOS is that there aren't many games that support the platform! Furthermore, I don't associate gaming with my Macbook so my temptations are far lower than if I was using a Windows system. Another thing is that MacBook retain value so much better than windows laptops! I definitely will keep it 🙂 Hello! Thank you for replying to the journal! Yes for sure I try to do some hobby
  6. Day 10 of no gaming. Urges to game are sky high today. However, I watched another documentary about tech start ups, housing markets, etc. and I realized as a gaming addict, I could never do any of those things if I went back to my old habits. Feeling a lot less stressed today. Had a good talk with my mother about what would happen if I failed. It's not the end of the world to retake one course. Studied all morning and that was brutal, but I think I'm starting to understand the material. Been trying to improve my sleep and nutrition which will help with memory and cognitive performance fo
  7. Day 9 of No Gaming Feeling an awful lot of negative emotions lately. These final exams are really beating the shit out of me. To be honest, I've broken down once because I'm not sure if I can pass on of the courses. However, it's also something which I have come to see a learning experience. A two part lesson. The first, that failure is okay. I haven't particularly failed something that I've started, nothing big or significant in several years, so it'll be a life lesson. The second lesson, that I have a lot of nonsense in my life. YouTube is one of these nonsense areas. I'll be havin
  8. Hey thanks for replying to the journal! I'm not sure if there is a trigger for porn. It's more or less whenever I'm at the desk. However, I will say that it does occur mostly when I'm bored or watching a show. Those tend to be my triggers, so I'll make sure to leave my desk when I get the urge or to spend less free time at the desk in general. Thanks for pointing that out for me 🙂
  9. Day 6! I totally shat the bed with the test, but that's fine because I'm still going to pass the course. My GPA won't really be effected one way or another. Just very happy to almost be done, I have the final exam coming up and I feel good enough to pass on that. Very much so just looking to finish this course and graduate. Same plan today, clean up more of my room, read this anthropology book that my former prof wrote and work out. I want to add another goal which is quitting porn as well. I'm experiencing the usual symptoms that other people have reported so I think it best to stop
  10. Yea I think I know what you mean, these days I'm often really silent about politics and social matters because I would rather carry on and make peace. But I know that that itself is also a political statement. It's confusing and I think it's overall good that we are trying to communicate even if it's not always successful.
  11. Day 5 Studied a while for a test tomorrow, feeling more confident about passing and getting university over with (thank god). Learning about setting boundaries and self-control in order to maintain a healthy environment and mindset. Looking at resources to edit my resume and applying for jobs. Learning to control my emotions and living with less fear and worries. Overall, very good progress today and still a lot left to do. Gotta for a walk, workout and buy the cat some kibbles!
  12. I don't understand the hostility in your post. I agree with your first paragraph and I'm happy to learn new perspectives about what Hegel believed. My understanding is that Hegel thought all events occurred as a necessary timeline to reach the whole truth. I don't know if that's a moral claim and I don't think that's what he meant by the word "just". I'm not holding Hegel or Zizek or really anyone onto some pedestal. I just find it interesting to think that ideology isn't something you can escape so easily, if it is possible. I meant this sentiment as a retort to modern critics who think they
  13. Wow, it's super cool that you really dive deep into the complexities of the voter suppression issue as well as other political topics. I think I know how you feel about your father and him listening to Fox News. My mother is actually the same. When I was in high school and early college, I was very into Shapiro and stuff (I don't even know why). I got my mom into the conservative talking points and that's a huge regret for me. I managed to see things very differently, and she's still listening to The Five and other "anti-propaganda" propaganda. Also as an Asian person born & residing outsi
  14. Hey! Thanks for posting to the journal, I really appreciate it! Also happy to hear that you are sleeping better and seeing life more clearly. I've watched Icarus, which was about a Russian WADA lab director and the Russian state assisting athletes in cheating doping tests. It was cool to see people so passionate about biking as well as how eccentric the lab director was as a person. I really recommend it! I definitely will take that advice to heart. It's hard to practice it because of the relatively poor emotional upbringing I had, but I try my best everyday and that counts for a lo
  15. Hello! Thanks for coming! Brief Backstory I feel like most of us have a very similar foundation for why we want to quit gaming: wanting to improve our lives. The same goes here. Been gaming since first grade and didn't think about stopping until my high school counsellor told me I might not be able to graduate because I wouldn't be able to finish my credits in time. I'm now about to graduate college and realised all the potential and effort that I spent playing video games which should have been put anywhere else. I had a lot of gamer friends, but most of them were never real friends