Pochatok

Returning to a familiar journal structure 😺 1. Significant Obstacles Last week I struggled with getting my Research and Animation production off the ground. It's such a significant undertaking; there is no way around it- it's just a lot of long-term work. Very horrifying for me, as I love doing things that give immediate results and are completable within an imaginable timeframe. But I know that long-term projects truly resonate with the person I want to be. Question for next entry: Am I feeling more brave and/or courageous when it comes to doing ambitious projects? Another point of struggle was has been a lack of social interaction- though I work at a campus, my coworkers aren't my best friends (yet, I'm very open to the possibility!), and though there's so many students around (I work at a college), I can't engage with them in the same ways given that I am now staff. I didn't realize how isolating this job would be, even though I'm surrounded by people and social activities 24/7. Question for next entry: How are you balancing difficult social experiences at work with your personal experiences? And, let's talk about pornography. It's been an "easy slope"- as soon as I think of giving in, I do. Same has been for many other types of stress relief/distractions like news or social media or random Wikipedia browsing. However, I'm noticing that improvement in limiting impulsivity of those choices has been improving- I am both able to notice the desire before I act on it, and am able to delay (though not prevent) the impulsive choice. 2. Happiest Accomplishments Though I am behind my timeline, I am putting a lot of effort and passion into the long-term projects. I'm getting close to the highest peaks I've experienced before, though there is certainly anxiety for repeating the same failure as before- once I reach those "peaks", it's only downhill- I get overwhelmed by the task, lose myself, and run away. But I know that's not who I am anymore. I have been gifted greater courage, and greater conviction. Question for next entry: Can you see past those "peaks" yet? How does that feel? Another one is the social connections I've been making- simply being more brave. Yesterday, I fistbumped a stranger (although a bit selfishly). I've been smiling towards most people I encounter, and my ability to sit back and listen has been improving a lot. My long-distance friends also have been turning to me more for advice and emotional support, which I very very appreciate. Question for next entry: Have you expanded the intent with which you undertake socially-courageous actions? What's been a highlight? 3. Life Reflection Direct Impact Mostly my job, at the moment, sadly. I've applied to a few volunteer organizations (and hope to do even more), but it's been a slow process. It's always so- doing things that really count takes a lot more time than coming to a park for trash picking on a weekend. I'm patient. And work's been great. I'm making a difference. Time Sculpting Animation has been more results-oriented and mindful of the process than ever, and it's been a challenge to navigate this balance, but I can see myself improving little by little, every single day. Relation to Self I've been hugging myself and saying kind words a lot more frequently, thanks to my friends putting them into my head in the first place. Overall, I am still ignoring my own needs and necessities from time to time, but it's better than ever before. Question for next entry: Have you attempted to learn more in this area? Why (not)? Relation to Others Still struggling with the "I'm different" complex. There are moments when I'm providing guidance or feel more balanced/at peace than others, and my immediate cognitive reaction is "it's because I'm [somehow better] than these people". I'm fortunate to have been going through moments of struggle, and calling those as such, and feeling humble and small... So helpful! Question for next entry: Have you attempted to learn more in this area? Why (not)? That is it for this entry. Hope you've found something meaningful while scrolling through ❤️ Po

Yes, very true! I have been branching out more in the last two weeks, but before then it was a rather isolating experience. At the same time, there is so many other ways I can deal with loneliness and stress without involving porn, either way- and I've attempting to consider that more. Today, I'm doing rock climbing, yay!

There is some wonderful books on boredom (with the word in the title- have you read any?) that argue that is precisely this feeling/experience that has led humanity to cascade into a civilization. Boredom is the ideal soil for peak creativity; that's the space where brightest ideas snap into awareness.

Been struggling with 👆 more than ever now that I have my 1st full-time job. So hard to not feel like I "should" be working beyond what I'm expected to, even though I've committed strongly to putting in only the minimum amount of time into my current passion. And I second uncertainty as a guiding star. Everyday, I make an attempt to commit to a passion I've always desired to realize, but equally struggled to develop and maintain. Most of the time, I feel like I am not moving anywhere, because a future where I am living my dream feels so, so far. But at the same time, I know that I am more than capable, if I forget about the darkness that is "tomorrow" and instead focus on the known and empowering present moment. Po

It's been so long, woah. In those 8 (!!!) months, I've hosted two ambitious artistic projects that I'm immensely proud of, graduated college, and found my 1st job. All been good with gaming addiction. ⏰ So, why am I back? Of course, I miss y'all 💝 It means so much to see many community members continue to post here daily and be so mutually supportive of all aspects of each other's lives. And, I want to resolve my most persistent addiction once and for all: pornography At this point, objectification, sexualization, dehumanization, and violent sexual behavior are so out of touch with who I envision myself to be, that every encounter brings a strong identity crisis. I hope that journaling here on a twice/week basis will help me move through this addiction, and to a brighter vision of myself. 🔖Let's review where I am at in this moment: Pornography makes an appearance 2-4 times/week. This week, though, it's been on a bi-daily basis, which is quite alarming. Given that I've just moved far, far away for my job, I have little social interaction. There has been a lot of stress, much more than usual. I'm developing strong physical symptoms that are frustrating and alarming. Some stress comes from adjusting to a new way of being, some comes from a loosened-up vision of future, and some- from having high expectations I've gone from a place of extreme luxury and comfort (residential college that had a community I belonged at and was loved by) to a place where I am unknown, misunderstood, and other (a very different type of socio/cultural/racial/economical environment, very few strong connections in the area, and no one I've met (so far) in the immediate living environment shares my passions) I believe strongly that I am where I need to be- despite all the difficulties, this is a place where I can feel myself grow in character, skill, ambition, and self-love/compassion every day. It's challenging, but highly rewarding, and every day I wake up feeling like a slightly different person. Given that last point, I am more than ever passionate to quit weaknesses that exemplify my wounds and my long-gone past. I want to be moving, more consistently, towards the person I am becoming 💛 Look forward to being a part of this community, again. Po 💖

Hey, thank you so much for sharing! I've been attempting a similar approach for many months now, so seeing your perspectives on it helps greatly 🙂 It's fascinating how different the "triggers" are for both of us, but how the same grounding and acknowledgement exercises are able to put us back in balance hehe

Woah, been almost three weeks. It has been quite intense- I have not allowed myself to pause enough, simply putting in more and more work into my schedule. The last 5-6 days I've been working nonstop (except for occasional hangouts and food breaks) from 8am to 9pm. I'm actually enjoying it, but also I feel like there are a lot of really important things I'm missing from my life with such a schedule. I hope to journal in a more regular fashion later tonight. Po ❤️

Hey Dr Gamer, welcome to GQ! I'm so sorry that gaming has impacted your life in such significant ways, and also I am so happy you've made it this far and are taking the steps to reshape your life! You've got this! I'm so excited to join you on your journey 🙂

Have you thought of buying a nook? It has helped me tremendously with reducing screen time in this manner. I never read on my phone anymore 🙂

yes- I only play games that don't trigger addiction. I am fortunate enough to have figured out how my addiction works, what triggers me and what is ok. I think there is always a risk of relapse, however, when you're testing the grounds. I had already over 100 days of detox when I decided to tap into video games again, and those 100 days of experience allowed me to just tap in and tap out fairly easily. I only played for maybe 5-10hrs total, and then quit for another 6 months. I kept bringing games in at a very strict and structured manner, really trying to focus on studying them instead of just playing. Eventually, I figured out what games allow me to do that, and which are too addictive. Since then, playing only non-addictive games has allowed me to restructure my perception of all games, and now only the games intentionally designed to be addictive, to keep the player in for hours are those that trigger my brain. Everything else I am able to study quite easily. However, playing any game purely for enjoyment always results in triggers; it's just how my brain works. Hope this helps 🙂

Congrats on already being 111 days in! I'm excited to be following you on your journey, thank you so much for sharing it here 🙂

Yes! That's the path I'm currently pursuing, after coming at a point in life where games are just not interesting to me. Though, some games are still addictive, and therefore frustrating- I plan to simply never play or be involved in the development of such games. I only want to develop games that discourage addiction and encourage connection w/ other people and the real world. I'm happy you have such a possibility lined up for you, good luck on making this decision and exploring its consequences!

Excited to meet a fellow animator here! Good luck on your journey, I am glad you're doing so much tracking of you work.

Congrats!!!

Oh no, I'm so sorry to hear that 😞 I'm glad you did get the piercings tho, I hope you'll find creating your own earring collection exciting hehe I believe (in) you! When I first started quitting Internet (I used UnDistracted for desktop and "Stay Focused" for phone), I was struggling tremendously and my self-esteem went to record lows. And also, I believed that this was the best I could do for myself then- I'm glad you think so too. I wish you courage and strength on this journey!

What helped me with this was listening to relationship and self-guiding podcasts. Very slowly, they've really changed how I view myself and my relationships to others- "Just Break Up" and "XO Higher Self" were especially validating and affirming. But before that, I've read "Courage to Be Disliked", which fundamentally changed how I viewed my relationship to myself and others. Not sure if you'll like any of these things, but I hope you will find enough curiosity to check them out! They changed my life in many ways.

Hi! Hope you had a weekend filled with some relaxation and reflection. Thank you for coming to my journal page ❤️ 1. Significant Obstacles Kind of is happening now! I stopped worrying about applying all my charisma skills to each conversation. That helps with feeling fully present and loving, acceptful of the people I'm talking to, which is nice. Only having 1-2 hangouts feels much less limiting if I take into account all the other times I interact with folks throughout the week- during lunch breaks, at events, etc. . Simply knowing how important it is. I know that I want to achieve as much as possible, and being sleep deprived fundamentally undercuts that goal. It's still difficult, but I am noticing a lot of progress. I don't think that my anxieties here are irrelevant. Certain relationships do not meet my needs/wants, and therefore I am feeling unsatiated. But, no single relationship fills all of my needs, and remembering that helps them feel whole and complete. Also, jealousy is real and normal, and me experiencing all kinds of thoughts is not an indicator of who I am, but simply of how I am conditioned to function. Yes! Actually,this weekend I felt that I was far too relaxed after a week of rigorous efforts. What really is "taking care of my wellbeing" isn't going shopping or eating nice foods, but being wholly present in the moment and treating myself with love and kindness right there. And getting enough rest, literal rest- sleep, exercise, meditation. I know I can upkeep a schedule like this at no cost to my health; the issue is do I want to? -- This week's obstacles are motivation, honesty, and habits. Motivation: Though I have had enough drive to make it through 15-hr work sessions from Saturday of last week until Friday of this, this weekend I've lost the drive. It seems that simply "doing the thing" is not enough of a motivator. Sure, I will get into the task and will work on it for __ hours, but the efficiency remains low without a stronger underlying sense of value and commitment to the thing itself. Question for next week: What have I attempted to make my motivation more consistent? How has it worked out? Honesty: When it comes to a few of my relationships, or actually most of them, I find myself not communicating certain things. Sure, I don't say some because they're simply odd, but also I am not allowing myself to be more vulnerable. I am afraid of rejection of any sort- it's so much easier to simply try to have a good time rather than take a risk to expand and deepen this relationship, right? Q for next W: How have I challenged myself to be more open and vulnerable within my relationships? Habits: Every time I am experiencing any stress, be it from difficulty focusing to sleep deprivation, I notice unwanted behaviors coming back. Desire to venture into social media and other depths of internet grows, I scratch my body more often, and eat when I am not hungry. This creates a loop of stress: I get more anxious noticing these habits and attempting to control them, which in turn encourages me to resolve to these behaviours even more. Q for next W: What exercises have I attempted to break the cycle of stress accumulation? 1a. Obstacles -> Opportunities Motivation: I am glad I've raised my ceiling of performance by this much. A week ago, I would have supressed the guilt experienced while doing unnecessary activities. Now, I acknowledge and agree with that- I don't need these activities in my life. What I want is to always try my best, and be loving and caring to myself. Honesty: It makes me smile to know that I have the courage to admit that my relationships are not as fullfilling as I would like them to be. I am excited to venture into the unknown and be true to myself even more. Habits: I am glad to be attempting to address this problem more structurally. After all, it is my passionate and consistent work that is bringing all this stress. I would rather be stressed out in this way than live in comfort of escapist safety. I am making new bridges, bringing more of myself in conversation; this can be anything but comfortable. 2. A Critical Mistake Futurized! This week, I have resolved again into a behaviour I've agreed to never dive into. Though at the bottom of my heart I knew this wasn't what I wanted, I struggled to listen to myself. Even after managing to pause and reflect, I still made a "compromise" with that desire, which didn't feel all that great either. At times like this, my future self, who is always listening to themselves deeply, would take the time to reflect on this fully, and examine this desire as an influence of the past on present, and put it in conversation with the needs of the future. 3. Life Reflection Direct Impact Did not do much here, frustratingly. Only made an excuse to not volunteer "because I already do" (which is true, but that's not the point!!!), and didn't find another place to support financially. Next weekend, I will sign up to volunteer off-campus for 3 hours OR I will volunteer with my student organization 🙂 Time Sculpting Artist Lots of reassessments and reflections in this area: I am continuing to work as a composer, but shifted away significantly from doing any visual work. Right now, all the focus is on publishing my research and becoming the best musician I can be. After this term's performance is concluded, and my research- completed, I will come back to doing animation daily, since my Spring project is all about that. Reading Miyazaki's thoughts on value of Higher Education was reaffirming- what I'm doing now is becoming an amazing, unique storyteller. Yes, I want to create, but I will have so much more time for that once I graduate. Now is the time to learn. Relation to Others More obstacles between me and my partner! We've been addressing well all of the smaller things, like spending more time together and arguing with more kindness. But, what to me is the core issues affecting the long-term sustainability of our relationship... remains undealt with. My partner is simply not willing to put in the work in the present moment, and though I understand the difficulty of the process, I get more anxious as we are nearing graduation- will my partner be able to move with me without addressing this issue in time? The best I can do is to continue believing in them and supporting them, and not let these anxieties lead my conversations. I am coming from a place of love, trust, and only then concern. Communal Artistry If counting all of the recitals and gallery shows I've attended, I'm feeling pretty happy! I've also expanded my presence to another online community, though I haven't been much active there. I'm going to participate in an artistic challenge too- next week. My collaboration with another artist is in the process of brewing right now. 4. Commiting to a Habit Next week, I want to make daily meditation (5 minutes) a habit. Specifically, I will complete the meditation either a) before practicing music or b) before a meal. By end of next week, I will incorporate meditation more precisely into my schedule. 5. Questions for Future Self 3 Months How did the gallery opening go? Six Months What do you enjoy most about your new living space (if you have not moved in, what are you most excited about?) Twelve Months I dare you to come up with a date plan for Valentine's. Do something nice! 3 Years What do you think about working in Video Games as a composer now? What has changed about this vision? 5 Years How has my inner climate anxiety (disconnected from world events) changed? Do you feel more at peace, more inclined for action? 10 Years Where do you hope to move to in the next 2 years, or why would you prefer to stay? Alright, this was a blast! So refreshing to complete this. Hope you find something helpful for yourself here 🙂 Po

Hi! Hope you'll get some rest this weekend 🙂 Let's dive into my life journey! Thank you for coming along ❤️ 1. Significant Obstacles Set up a "limit" of 2-3 hangouts per week. Feel slightly lonelier, but it has been allowing me to actually get work done, yay. I can spend more time with people by being more confident and outgoing at all of the events I attend (performances, work meetings, etc.). What will happen if I start to see all public spaces/events as opportunities for genuine connection? The issue of ambition: I simply can do my best to be as motivated as possible to do the tasks quickly and efficiently, and prioritize my time well. Those two factors seem to be most important: want to get things done quick- set goals; want to get the right things done- know what matters most. No, it is about prioritizing my time. There is never enough time for everything in my schedule. Right now, I want to keep all the things I have, but not all of them I can tend to as much as I want. Balancing the # of time I dedicate to each passion and really, really sticking to it helps. If I follow the schedule as closely as I can, I will make the progress I want. -- This week's obstacles are sleep, relationships, and planning. Sleep: I've been getting only 7-8 instead of the 8.5hrs/night the whole week. It's been causing me to return to some unwanted stress coping mechanisms like picking my face, browsing social media, and a few others. Question for next week: what habits/systems have turned out to be most effective for encouraging going to bed early? Relationships: My romantic relationship continues to be pretty draining, but I think that some of that drainage comes from my perception of things, not from what actually is going on. With other relationships, I am experiencing a lot of difficult feelings and thinkings: "why do they do __ with __ but not with me", or "I want to do __ with __, but also am too afraid/unconfident to take this risk", or "if __ is my friend, why are they not spending more time with me", or "why do I not have more people to share __ with". Eugh, felt good to get this out. Question for next weel: how can I feel more "enough" about my relationships? How can I confront my fears and uncertainties and do the things that feel right? Planning: Every day, being so tightly planned out, starts to fall apart immediately when I no longer know what I am doing/when. It is pretty frustrating, as I need to stick to the schedule extremely closely. Is this necessary for becoming my future self? At the end of day, I feel fullfilled knowing how much I've done, but also feel sad about all the things I don't get done. Will I have time for them tomorrow? Maybe... Question for next week: Am I being considerate of my own wellbeing by having such rigorous and demanding schedule? 1a. Obstacles -> Opportunities Sleep: I'm grateful to having experienced all of the things that I sacrificed bed time for. They help me learn myself more, and be more compassionate towards who I am, who I was, and who I will be. Relationships: I've been learning to listen to myself whilst in discomfort, learning to understand what my needs and wants are, and find new perspectives on my own actions in social situations. I am so grateful for having the strength to keep challenging myself in uncomfortable ways. Planning: I am grateful for the confidence I have in myself to meet such high demands. I understand that a lot is slipping through, and that this is an unsustainable system, and also I appreciate all of the things it has allowed me to learn and do this week. 2. Critical Mistakes Objectified Futurized! I honestly just don't think about my mistakes that much still- perhaps this is the mistake of the week! I move on from moments of high stress pretty quickly, and perhaps because of that they don't sit in my mind. This is beneficial in terms of stress management, but can I trust myself to not repeat the same mistake twice? I want to keep a small list of "difficult moments", and add to it every day. I believe that I wanted to create this section to feel less guilty about my mistakes, but that work is best done in the moment. Instead, this will be an area of thinking of my mistakes from the perspective of my future self: how would they approach the situation differently? 3. Life Reflection Direct Impact Done with Blood Drive! Was certainly an experience that I will do again, however discomfortable I am with needles. Next up, I want to find a 3rd place I could donate $5/mo to (or increase my donation amount to something), and sign up for another 1-2hr volunteer opportunity within the local area. Time Sculpting Artist Finished an animation, working on a composition, and organizing another animation. I want to get more ambitious here, but carefully, since I don't have all that much time/week for this at the moment. I want to contribute 30mins/daily to animation in whatever capacity, and learn 30mins/day on an adjacent topic as well. Dreaming big requires some consistent doing 🙂 Relation to Others Relationship with my partner continues to be an area of uncertainty- we simply are not making enough time for each other 😕 And that means a lot of important conversations are pushed away. I'm frustrated, and will sit down with my partner tomorrow night to try working through the lack of time prioritization. Difficult feelings in other relationships continue to appear- and I am happy that's the case! I have so much to become comfortable with, so much to begin enjoying ❤️ Communal Artistry I have reached out to someone for a collab, and now I want to follow-up (just did, yay)! And, I want to start posting my work in more communities (just did!). Making both of these more of a regular commitment is something I want to try next week... 4. Habit Re-Examination Also running out of time. I think that setting more time for this in the coming weeks is the habit. 5. Questions for Future Self 3 Months What was the most unexpected thing that came out from publishing research? Six Months What is something you understand about your sexuality that I did not? Twelve Months How annoying is my youngest sister now that she's 3? 3 Years How the heck did you make it this far? 5 Years How has volunteering weekly made a difference in your life? 10 Years What's a habit that I have that you still stick to? Wohoo, all done! This is super fun, but also takes up too much time at once. I will break this up into two journal entries, 50/50, posting on Monday and Friday. Thank you so much for stopping by, I wish you a bright day ❤️

Hey! I used to be in the same boat for a long time, and still am pretty often- I might have all the time in the world to do something, but instead choose to pick a different task, oops. The issue here is not a lack of willpower, but a lack of habit. And, in my case, it was an improper understanding of motivation: to feel interested in doing something, I need to start doing it. Waiting for motivation to appear just doesn't cut it. Most "difficult" things the brain naturally tends to avoid, and unless I actively soothe the discomfort of the process by doing the thing, motivation will stay low. There are a few books I've read on this that helped me ease into higher accumulation of motivation: Atomic Habits, Obstacle is the Way, and Personality isn't Permanent. Disclaimer: all of those books are faaar too long, are written by sexist/fatphobic/classist/... men, so I advise to read with caution as not to get some of their own inner bullshit get to you (as it did to me for some time -_-). Honestly, I would even advise reading a bit of the book to get the feel, and then reading summaries/reviews online about it- that will tell you all you need. Additionally, what helped me was setting goals every single day, and generating a large list of things that excite me in whatever it is that I am avoidind (studying included). The task might not feel fun, but if I manage to make it feel valuable/important, it already is a bit more exciting to get it done. The more I can align it with the goals/dreams I have for my future self, the more likely I am to get it done right now. Hope this helps! There is also tons of resources on YouTube (Cajun Koi Academy, Better Ideas, Modern Health Monk...). Also advise to tread with caution, as sometimes they talk "science" without any evidence -_-

I've tried to do this with learning Trombone for a whole year sometime ago, and it ended up getting draining. The best way to educate yourself on something is to find a way to ejoy what you're learning. Yes, there is that balance between enjoying so much you're not learning efficiently, but also same goes for enjoying so little you don't want to learn. I'm glad you're thinking so deeply about all the things that trouble you! Meaning of life and all those questions are really scary, and take a lifetime to answer 🙂

So happy you're able to keep focus on the progress, however slow! I understand the difficulty of that as someone working slowly on three 10-week projects at once... sometimes it feels that I get so little done, does it even matter? Also, I'm glad you're able to feel comfortable in your class in spite of the ignorance of men around you 🙂 Hope it will stay at the same level of comfort!

Hi! Hope you've been having a nice week, and that your weekend will have space for rest and reflection ❤️ Let's get started! So excited for this 😄 1. Significant Obstacles It's been difficult to find a balance between enjoying a more involved social life (8-10hrs/week of social activities), a more relaxed workday (8.5hrs sleep/day + no "work", only hobbies past 6PM), and strive for a "successful" life. I feel like I learn more about myself through meeting new people than anything else, and making and keeping friends over the last two weeks has been great. And also, all of my hangouts either take up too much time directly, or plunge me into deep wonderings that eat even more time. Question for next week: how can I hangout with people less while sustaining the positive mindsets my increased social activities helped me develop? On the other hand, I am attempting to not exhaust myself like I have in the past, and put myself on brakes past 6PM. Yes, there is occasional projects to work on, but I allow myself to worry less about productivity. So far, it has been "working", but there are things I wish I could dedicate more time to, and am simply unable to. On one hand, I believe that this lifestyle will lead to higher long-term sustainability of my own- and others' -wellness, but I am unable to meet my ambitions. Question for next week: What new information and experiences have I found to further complicate this issue? Lastly, perhaps it is not the issue of hanging out too much or not working enough, but having too high ambitions. Many of my peers and professors tell me that I have too much on the plate. I tend to take this advace with one ear, since my Institution ain't Ivy League, and at home such joy for work is the norm. I don't feel like I am avoiding any responsibilities by having such ambition, and am actively trying to cultivate wellness and keep my ambitions at an uncomy but reachable height. But, it might be too high still. Question for next week: Can being more effective/efficient make enough of a difference to compensate for lack of time sensed here? If not, what do we do? 1a. Obstacles -> Opportunities First, I feel incredibly grateful for having such a varied and abudant social life, even if it seems to be putting the relations of different areas of my life out of balance. I am continuing to learn more about myself through others, and so much of what I'm experiencing right now is a "first time". It's okay to allot this more time than I am usually comfortable with, as this is a big challenge for me. This has been an enormous learning opportunity for defining what kind of social life I want, and what kind of relationships I need and value. Second, I am grateful for attempting more work-life balancing acts. I am continuing to focus on my deepest, furthest dreams without dismantling my own wellbeing. It's amazing that I have the patience and confidence in myself to experiment and take risks. This has allowed me to learn more about how much work and rest feels right to me, and gave me space and time to pause to issues that I often buzz over in the midst of motion. Finally, I am grateful for being able to follow my own heart's desires, and for believing that I can reach all of them. What I am aspiring to is on a completely separate plane from any of my classmates, and that is beautiful in many ways. I'm glad that I can listen to myself and continue to work towards things I believe to be important. I don't know whether having such deep ambitions will lead me to a place of happiness and fullfillment, but I am glad to have the strength to attempt something so difficult without much support or guidance. 2. Critical Mistakes Objectified Don't have material for this yet! I don't remember my mistakes all that well because I tend to brush past them quickly. I will try to note some down for next journal entry... 3. Life Reflection Direct Impact I feel that I want to set up donations to a few additional places (5% of my monthly income) that I really value. Over the last two weeks, I've focused on contributing a bit more to the clubs which I am involved in at school (though I believe there needs to be more work done). Additionally, I have literally just now signed for a blood drive. Time Sculpting Artist I hope to contribute more here in the coming week. Over the last week, I've worked on a couple animations, but both of them have been sitting unfinished. Today, I worked on a painting, but that does not fit the "time sculpting" category. How could I make it fit..? Relation to Self I have been growing more compassionate to myself, giving more breaks and space whenever needed instead of "absolute emergencies". Listening to podcasts and reading every day has also been helpful. However, last weekend I struggled with feeling of loneliness and jealosy for a while, not fully acknowledging or sitting with them. Relation to Others Reationship with my partner is the biggest red flag. All of my friendships are doing well- I am uncomfortable and disengaged at times, but try to be a better friend every day. Ultimately, I remember that cultivating my relationship with self leads to better relationships with others, not vice versa. Communal Artistry Earlier today I have reached out to an artist on Instagram who I aspire to. I am also working on my Senior Recital, and we will have our first rehearsal this Sunday. At the moment, the recital and this possible collaboration are my two biggest goals. I hope to meet them 🙂 4. Habit Re-Examination Unfortunately, this journal has been taking too long. I will cut on this section short for this week- let's see if I can fit into 30mins next time. 5. Questions for Future Self Reminder to self: send these questions to myself as emails, and also preserve them on my Notion account. At the 1st entry of every month, write them all down. Three Months Are you more sensetive to taking bathroom breaks instead of waiting till last second? Six Months Do you still have that little "Love Is..." wrapper after moving into the new living space (post a pic plz)? Twelve Months Who did you celebrate this New Year with? What felt good about the celebration? 3 Years What has been the coolest Interactice Audio project you have worked on? 5 Years What is the form of exercise your body seems to still be enjoying? 10 Years What is the most unexpected thing about being a parent? That is it for this entry (took me over an hour, but so worth it!). Hope you've found something meaningful while scrolling through ❤️ Po

Hi! Thank you so much for stopping by, it means a lot to know that there are people who find value/meaning in my scribbles ❤️ I've been all over the place the last two weeks, trying to establish my Winter Term routines. It seems that I'm settling down. This journal entry is a walkthrough of my thought process on Maximizing the Potential of Journaling. If you feel that journaling at GQ doesn't feel fullfilling/purposeful, this might be helpful to you 🙂 Let's start with re-examining the structure of my journals: how can it serve my future self better? Who is my future self? (a concept from "Personality Isn't Permanent") A wide-reaching, direct-impact professional in the fields of public speaking, writing, education, and research at work One of the most visible time-sculpting (film/animation/music/sound mediums) artists in the world at home Humblest, kindest, warmest, and most influential person they've ever been in public A leader in communal artistic projects that bring together people, objects, and concepts that are traditionally kept apart This is a narrow list, but it encompasses the key values I've been thinking about for ~ a month now. With this in mind, what is the purpose of the journal now? Reflecting on the progression of time/mindsets across different areas of my life I would like to continue to reflect in a similar fashion, but on a narrower scope Setting targets and goals for a measurable future This doesn't work in this bi-weekly format, so I'll move this to my daily journal Practice positive self-talk and objective interpretation of events Keep this fully! A wonderful skill to learn Let's brainstorm what else this journal could be! Conduct conversations with my future self Reframe obstacles into opportunities (concept from "The Obstacle Is the Way") Reflect on areas of life that are key to approaching my future self Examine my current systems and habits (based on concepts from "Atomic Habits") on how they (dis)empower me to approach my future self Learn from critical mistakes that reduce correlation of the path from present to my future self Sounds like a plan! How can I achieve these goals? Ask my future self questions 3/6/12 months from the date of the entry at the end of each journal Look into significant obstacles and treat them as happening for me, not to me Change my current areas of life to: Direct Impact, Time Sculpting Artist, Relation to Self, Relation to Others, Communal Artistry Looking into 2-3 habits/systems I take for granted and re-examining them from the perspective of future self Examine critical mistakes from the week w/ objectivity and radical acceptance, then with future alternatives So, the structure of my journal will look like this: 1. Significant Obstacles + Turning them into Opportunities 2. Critical Mistakes Objectified + Radical Acceptance + Future Alternatives 3. Life Reflection 4. Habit Re-Examination 5. Questions for Future Self Alright, this sounds exciting! Will restart the journey on Thursday 🙂 Po ❤️

Hey! Props for trying out so many things already, this seems like a good start of a longer journey. Keep trying new things 🙂

Something that I've recently heard that helped me a lot with this thought: "what feels like walking back in circles, or going in peaks and valleys rather than steadily upwards... all of that is a part of healing. I am not failing or making little progress. Rather, this is all an inherent part of change" I'm so happy you've been able to act on and embrace such a significant change in your life @Books! I'm very thankful for all the journeys you've shared here. You continue to look up and not take what is in your life for granted. You remind me that I deserve a better life 🙂 Hope that this new environment will continue to empower you!