Captain_Pilz

Struggled a lot today and fought with a lot of cravings. I am actually getting ill right now and I just hope it is not Covid-19. After Monday, many schools here in Germany will close until after eastern and so does ours. These are quite some times we are in right now! Tomorrow, I will try to concentrate as well as I can and get healthy.

Two days later. Yesterday, I focused on preparing for my Physics exam, so I didn‘t write here. It just got too late. Today worked quite well for me. Learning for that exam definitely helped. Now that it is basically finished, although I still have one in April, a little void appears. I took the afternoon off, maybe even did a little too less. My task for tomorrow is setting long term goals I can actively work towards.... And also watch less YouTube. David

Day 7 and one week in: I will not write much today. My day was really bad, a massive fallback compared to the progress I made over the last few days. Did not work, did not go to my training, watched a whole lot of YouTube. Of course, I also feel bad about myself, but mainly I feel exhausted and frustrated and ill. It all started off with porn and it is the second time that I notice it making me regress. Last time was a big relapse. I must be careful about this. What are your experiences? Tomorrow, it‘s just about doing better than today. Honestly, this is all I want!

You are damn right. Take your time with it, especially since it is a sensitive topic. Still, I am excited to read it. Please share a link as soon as you post it. I was never remotely attracted by Reddit but from what I saw there you have a point. I even think it is not only the haters who post there. It is also the decent people who would never consider sharing anything in that shit storm.

Day 6: Today, I wrote a 5 hour long English-exam. It was exhausting but also kind of fun. Our teacher let us analyze an article about Mark Zuckerberg and comment on the impact of social media on the present generation. Just consider what we do here for a moment. This was an absolute jackpot for me!🥳 After school, I visited my grandparents for lunch. I hadn't seen them in a while, too. Back home, I did not manage to work much more. Obviously. I mean who does after such a straining morning? I still did a simple but comprehensive experiment evaluation we had for homework. Other than that, I played some drums listened to some music. Thanks to all of you for rooting for me. Posting here really helps in comparison to trying to quit on my own. When I struggle throughout the day, I feel that sense of obligation. Strangely, it doesn't add pressure at all but rather pleasantly gives me another reason to live a good day. Apart from that, I cannot thank @Alexanderle enough for your tips about morning routines. As soon as I get this Physics exam out of the way, I will dive into it... deeply. Tomorrow, even though I cannot stand the thought right now I want to work a whole lot for my Physics advanced course in order to succeed at the upcoming exam on Thursday. In gratitude David

My first gaming free week is over and it is Day 5 of my journal. Today was intense. I worked a lot and my A-Levels really keep me going right now. As I wanted, I finished the most arduous topic for my Physics class: The Schrödinger equation! Furthermore, I wrote another text as a practice for my English-exam tomorrow. The rest of the time, I watched a lot of keynotes about presentation which is a fascinating skill I definitely want to elaborate on once I finish my final exams. Also, it is Sunday. Obviously. Accordingly, I would like to share either a small fact about myself or something that influenced me deeply each week. Let me talk about my username. It clearly has a gaming background and I first used it when playing Clash of Clans a few years ago. After this, every single avatar of mine was named „Captain_Pilz“. However, I am now officially a committed non-gamer and this takes away its identity. Its significance is still to high because it always stood for the dream of becoming a YouTuber, especially in the early years. Therefore, I decided to make it part of my journey and make it a symbol of growth and hope in my life. As I have a long and important exam tomorrow I will just attempt to be mindful and keep myself occupied throughout the afternoon. In focus David

Thank you for tuning in here and sharing your progress. I like your focus, how you really try to develop the best work ethic you can. Honestly, this is a great place to start off. I am just interested in what your other goals are. Do you plan to go into fitness or music, do you want to improve you relationships? Life has an abundance of fun and purposeful activities to offer, now more than ever, and these can massively help you leave gaming behind. Again, your focus is enviable. I also encourage you to explore a little bit. @Alexanderle: I am grateful that you keep stressing the importance of identity. It is an awesome support for me and others.

Seneca On the Shortness of Life I can really relate to stoic philosophy. This book is extremely short and I have finished it a week ago. Still, I keep coming back because there is so much you can get out of it.

Another day without games has passed. It was by no means perfect but I am content with what I did and learned today. As Alexanderle talked about mornings, let me speak about my morning. During the week, I have no difficulties waking up early and being efficient. By contrast, I often struggle with weekends as there is no plan and no (apparent) need to get done. Today was basically the same. I could not force myself to work. Before noon, I even ended up on YouTube where I noticed something strange. Watching videos became unbearable. I knew I was procrastinating and my mind would not stop circling until I actually started to work over an hour later. On the other hand, I felt this intense aversion towards studying that kept me from doing so. You probably know that awkward, agonizing in-between-space. I also experienced lots of brain fog that immediately disappeared when I wrote. In the afternoon, I managed to write two medium sized texts in preparation for my English-exam on Monday and I played some drums to James Brown recordings which is really fun. And I called my grandparents, something I do not do often enough. @Alexanderle: Thank you for your tips concerning mindsets and morning routines which I will definitely consider. How do you start free mornings? Tomorrow, I really want to finish that Physics topic I am onto right now. Thanks for all your amazing support. David

Things did not go as well as I wanted today. I got home later in the afternoon than expected and I was quite exhausted. Dealt with some serious cravings and did not have the power/ did not feel like I have the power to push through work. Accordingly, I played a lot of drums which works extremely well against cravings for me. Tomorrow is a new day. What I can accomplish comes down to how my morning looks like. So that is my focus: Getting a good morning and breaking through the initial aversion towards work. @ceponatia: This is serious and something I would definitely like to avoid. How did you feel when you realized this fall? Did quitting gaming change your outlook on your current situation? In hope David

Here we go again! It is Day 2 and I am on fire! My goal for today was to beat my procrastinating behavior and to learn for my exams next week. In the morning, I was lucky to have some free time since a few teachers were missing. I informed myself on breaking procrastination with an episode of Jay Shetty's podcast and I managed to get going with Physics. After lunch, it still took me an hour to start working again but nevertheless, I managed to finish every single task on my ToDo-List. I checked and it is the first time I accomplished this feat in 2020! Now, I really want to keep my head down and conserve my momentum. Tomorrow I will focus on: Repeating what I did today! @BooksandTrees: Thank you for your tip to check out diaries. Over 500 days without gaming is a massive accomplishment which is even more impressive considering you struggled to quit for 8 years! I am grateful for you support. @Amphibian220: Great, thanks! They really listened and I could tell them everything. I feel like I trust them, which is awesome. It also seemed to be quite relieving to them since they clearly recognized I was off lately. This is the podcast episode: It was helpful to me. It might be to you. https://jayshetty.me/6-reasons-we-overthink-4-steps-to-break-down-your-procrastination-pattern/ In pride David

That depends, I believe you will always have nostalgic moments. During my last try, I read a book about architectural psychology and then I just felt nostalgic about Minecraft! It was not the critical cue for my gaming behavior but I am sure it got me closer to the idea. And what is SubRosa for you may be Cities Skylines for me. And right now in this moment I experience cravings! 😂 I totally agree with @DaBest that finding activities and projects you love and creating purpose cannot erase nostalgia but make it easier to overcome. And I did not realize there was a second page! I should get some sleep!😅

Understandable, but still: I find no word. I guess sad is not enough to express what I am feeling. Now that I have read this, I would not even see the point in giving up.

Hey fellow Game Quitters, today is Day 1 of my personal journal in which I share my process throughout the 90 day detox and further. To make a short note on yesterday: I went to martial arts training the first time in two months and immediately managed to set a realistic goal for the future. If I had to rate this day on a scale between one and ten, I would give it an ambivalent five. In the morning, I was quite motivated at school. I had a few nice chats and I especially loved my religion class. Coming home, I faced a trial and I failed: I did not watch YouTube, I did not play video games but I „sneaked in“ two hours of Netflix. This is due to a bad habit I formed over the last few years, where I would watch YouTube and TV when I ate alone. I cannot stress how important it is to adress this habit! Luckily, I managed to catch myself and I had the late afternoon at my disposal to study. The one thing I could not be more proud of today is that I gathered the courage to talk to my parent about my issues and be totally honest with them. And I am grateful that I can count on their emotional support. Tomorrow I will focus on: Breaking through my procrastination cycle. In gratitude David

@Alexanderle In my experience, having things to do outside of your home really gets you back on track if you had a difficult day. As for the tweaks at home, maybe even small improvements to the cues you get might be impactful.

Eye opening, absolutely eye opening! I am grateful you shared this. Right now, I ask myself the honest question: "What about my life makes it like the rat cage?"

Hi, my name is David, I am a student and I have a gaming problem. This is my first time writing on this forum. However, I am not new to the idea of quitting gaming. Let me sum up my story. I have always been prone to compulsive behavior, I am an extremist, if you want to call it that way. In primary school, I got addicted to trading card games which I luckily got rid of with the help of my parents. About a year after I got into secondary school, I got more fascinated with games and started playing Minecraft which even got me into a friend group for the next years. Pretty soon, the hours I spent playing and watching YouTube increased- Although my parents told me I was out of control I felt like I was not. I would like to mention that I was not satisfied with my relationships and got bullied a lot. My psychologist advised me to start doing martial arts, which I did, with great results. In tenth grade starts where a lot of the juice happened. I started developing better friendships, my grades were constantly great but I still procrastinated a lot. When I developed my first crush, I coincidentally got into personality development which, guys I tell you, changed quite a bit for me. However, I could not get myself to really grow. I consumed a lot, so much of it happened passively, and intense periods of productivity were followed by intense periods of gaming or watching YouTube. I even got an Xbox One and played Ark, Cities Skylines and (especially problematic) Overwatch on it. Minecraft still kept me going. I started worrying about addiction being responsible for my behavior and found Game Quitters. A year has passed since then. I failed, I failed, I failed. Sometimes it would take me a little bit longer to relapse but I would eventually get back into games. In those periods, I would disregard friends and family. I would not do sports, continue my martial arts training, or practice playing the drums which is MY HOBBY. I love it and I am a total Jazz fanatic, I have won competitions and I meet awesome people. Outside of my gaming phases, I really make the best out of my life. I am healthier, I am reliable, I make progress. Last years summer academy I was in with some extremely intelligent people was the best time I ever had in my life. Also, often when I am at school, I am extremely happy and motivated. Then, once I come home all of it fades and I become lazy and sluggish again which means a lot of the time, I am actually living a double life. This is frustrating and I believe you know that. I am lying to my parents and I am pretending that I actually work hard at school. I have relapsed so often now. I have decided to quit gaming for good because I just cannot do it in moderation. I am doing a YouTube and TV detox at the same time. These bad habits are my instant gratification replacements for gaming I do not want them to take control over my life because they already did recently (The former even yesterday). Furthermore, this step is crucial for my life. I want to study psychology and actually help people. I am fascinated by this subject. My A-Level-pre-exams literally start in two weeks and I need exceptional grades to achieve my dream. I just want to break free of the sin-graph my life is at the moment. For this, I need help. When I tried quitting gaming in the past I tried to keep it to my own, out of shame I guess. Admittedly, I have hidden a lot of my will to grow. Luckily, drumming and my parents and psychology always worked like anchors for me. But sadly they are not enough. I need to be honest with the world around me because I have realized that I cannot do this alone. I will definitely tell my parents. And my friends need to know (Actually, I have talked to one about my decision today. Even though he did not understand me and my issue at all because he knowingly (THIS WOULD KILL ME!) continues his bad habits, I am glad I did. ) Writing this little introduction to myself is the first public commitment I give to become a non-gamer. I am David, I am a student who has a gaming problem and I am quitting this sh*t! Tomorrow will be the my first day of me writing this journal and I am actually quite excited of what is coming even though the cravings may become intense. PS: If you struggle with any addiction. Getting good grades and being good at your hobbies does not mean there is no problem!