NEW VIDEO: I Quit MMOs and THIS Happened
Dannigan
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Posts posted by Dannigan
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Due to not having enough time to write a quality response, I just want to say briefly that I enjoy reading your journal. You have a good outline set-up and end the journal with what you're grateful for. You are also very astute in reflecting about your behavior, thoughts, and feelings. I see so much potential and am inspired.
Also, wow....Days 221-224.....you're rocking this. : )
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@sirjk, good on you for overcoming the temptation to game. :) Those are gorgeous pictures and video, btw. Thanks for sharing.
12 hours ago, sirjk said:I'm sick of waking up at 11am-12pm again; I always forget how much time that takes out of your day. I suck at dealing with stress. Everyone seems so god damn good at dealing with it.
Yup, whenever you get those urges to game, remind yourself of what you hated the most.
I wonder if creating a long list of negative results of gaming would help? And make it super descriptive and horrible. Emphasize the HORRIBLE effects of video game addiction. Heck, even paste a picture of what you'd look like if you were gaming every single day until you reach age 40+. Describe what you'd look like and how you'd feel. And each time you feel like gaming, read over the list, then go for a long walk.
Your walk seemed to clear your mind! : )
P.S. I forgot to add: write a list of all the POSITIVE rewards of abstaining from video games. Read over this list as you go for a walk.
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Well done so far, Natasha! I look forward to reading your journal. I'm inspired by what you've done so far to eradicate video gaming from your family's life. Welcome to a new and bolder way of living!
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20 hours ago, Hitaru said:
@info-gatherer Yeah, it happens that I can do all those things. I'm amazed at myself. My grammar is shit ofc but if I learn the basics I have the feeling I'll become much more fluent at the overall language. I'll keep track of my progress.
I'm living near Naples. People talk in dialect here and damn. But I can survive. Specially since it's not just only me.
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Had a panic attack last night in front of everyone (the people I'll be usually around most of the time). It's the first time it has happened in front of people.
I thought I was about to die from shame but I guess it was fine for them since it's been little time and easier to asume I'm just like this. Harder for me to assume that I am like this. We had a long talk, they were supportive, we all tried to shrug it off and act like it didn't happen. It's working, but I still feel... Not sure how to express it. Need more time. I'm being way too hard on myself.
:) You survived the panic attack, and you gained a support system. You actually over came something that most people would just run from. Fight/flight/freeze mode is what happens when anxiety overcomes us. But 'you' persevered through the attack because you didn't run away from the situation. You stayed and talked it out. That is something to be proud of. In my past, I suffered from panic attacks during university, especially when I had to make a presentation in front of the class. My first panic attack, I sounded like I was having a stroke. My words were incoherent, and I was saying things that I couldn't even understand. Heart raced, hands clenched and sweaty, I couldn't even focus my eyes on anything. Many years later, after some therapy and real life practice, I am now comfortable with public speaking as that is a part of my current job.
It sounds like your peers meant very well, and were supportive and compassionate. When we show others our vulnerable sides, it forms a bond, because people can relate to pain, shame, embarrassment, and feeling...well...vulnerable. For your sake, I am glad this anxiety attack happened in front of people. This is one of those moments wherein you see a cross-road before you, left or right? Left = not learning from it. Right = gratefulness, self-growth, healing.
Thanks for sharing
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On 4/10/2018 at 8:35 PM, Pierce said:
Behaving a certain way to impress women felt crappy anyway, so embracing my nerdiness would probably make me a lot happier anyway.
It's Central Standard Time here (6 hours earlier than you), but for that advice you'd be welcome to have some cookies here anyway as an after dinner snack.
Embrace the 'nerd' in you, Pierce. Nerdiness is the new hip and you've got plenty of character. : ) Joining a writing club sounds fascinating and something that you'd look forward to, because of its creative focus and the social aspects. Hipster nerd ---- > very cool.
1 hour ago, Pierce said:Today I woke up and almost immediately started on my research paper, which is due next week. It was an amazing feeling. I got a full outline done, gathered all my sources, and wrote an introduction in two hours. Then I hit a brick wall. Using the pen and paper strategy I had lasted thus far, but eventually I fell. I feel awful now. Thinking about it further, the feeling isn't so much from the lost time, but from a feeling of hopelessness. Like I can't ever beat this. All my life I've had this addiction, and for the past seven years of fighting it I've had almost no results. What am I doing?
I know that self-pity doesn't accomplish anything. I just wanted to be real about it.
Is it a full moon? This is the fourth journal I have read wherein people are struggling 'today'. I don't mean to make light of how you're feeling, by the way. Overall, you're moving forward in your studies, and maybe remind yourself of that sometimes. : ) I am not sure if you are referring to video games again, so instead I will make a general statement.
Vent as much as you need to. Let it out. Doesn't have to be in this journal. We're fallible creatures. All of us. You feel hopeless right now, and maybe you just need to feel that emotion for a while. It's going to pass. Also, I know that your school is keeping you busy. It just seems like every minute of your day is school-focused, and I don't blame you for wanting to vent out the stress somehow. What you're feeling now may also be a manifestation of external stress. You are not a failure at all. You are just immersed in a climate that demands so much of your attention and time. This may be clouding your judgement of yourself too. : )
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2 hours ago, JoshD said:
I am also thinking about selling my consoles, to purchase a massage table for massage school. I told my parents about it and they think that that move is foolish, so its a complicated situation. I think that they think that I am going through a phase of some sort, I am just trying to break my old patterns and make a change, My therapist is curious to see which way I will lean. Don't know which way to lean yet... I feel like the adult and risky move would be to sell the consoles, Keeping the consoles leaves me in the same spot I have been 2 years in a row, having game binges and then periods of rest then back to gaming. I still play boardgames with friends and go out to see movies so I think my entertainment will be okay.
It's wise of your therapist to give you responsibility to make your own decision. But from an outsider's point of view, I must assert my position about this. If I were you, I'd sell them, basically for the same reasons you already wrote.
If it's harder for you to make this decision, I'd find some quiet time, sit down at your desk, and write down the pros and cons of keeping gaming consoles around you, while you are going through a 90 day detox AND attending school for massage therapy. I'd be curious to see that list, by the way.......lol, although nothing would change my decision.
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1 hour ago, ThatFrenchGuy said:
Day 71-79
I haven't completely cut ties with gaming if I still watch gaming-related youtube content. I still haven't done what I said I'd do - clean up my subscriptions. My justification is twofold: I'm cutting yet another (albeit unhealthy and addicting) relaxation tool, and what's the point if I'll find alternate ways of procrastinating anyways? This is where I'd like to hear some advice or experience: have you completely cut off any source of gaming information? How was your relationship with youtube during the detox?
1 hour ago, ThatFrenchGuy said:Day 79 - Update
Currently clearing out the youtube sub box, and it kind of stings the heart to unsub from some of them, where it's just plain old stupid fun. I feel as if I'm killing off any and all fun I can have, simply because my having fun creates problems, because of the mediums I've chosen to have fun with. Tempted to leave a few in, but I'll cut everything out for now.
I highlighted a few sentences that you wrote. It's a mixture of justification, and resentment for having to cut off this 'fun' and 'relaxing' hobby.
What about changing the way you look at it?
eg.
Quitting video games and youtube will allow me to < insert multiple gains here>
Focus on what you will gain from this detox, versus the belief that you are missing out on 'the addiction'.
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Ok. Cam, I never thought I'd EVER see you start a 90 Day journal for anything at all.
But coffee?
Well, tea is a fine substitute. If you do not like too much caffeine, I'd try the herbals and also rooibos (red tea, caffeine free, great with cinnamon).
Best of luck!
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* big cheer *
Wow. What a powerful start to your first journal entry! You've got this! And this time, the results will be different. Nice job on listing personal rules so that you remain accountable for your actions, and also the reward system that you'll use. Interesting, a reward after 90 days detox! Hey that's a very good idea......
Have a safe and peaceful vacation. I'm looking forward to reading your journal in the near future!
~ Dani
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You're doing well for a fresh start. : )
I hope you'll find journal writing to be a benefit to you in the long-run. Personally, it's been a great help for me. I can look back and read what stage I was in when I started the 90 day detox, and compare it with how I'm doing now. Take care, and I'm glad you are here.
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4 hours ago, info-gatherer said:
Day 77
Last day of nothingness. I cleaned the house and also my own room, though. Just to be more ready for the upcoming days.
Tomorrow I’ll be back at it with the real life. I feel prepared for it.
Will need to watch my sleep schedule, make drastic changes. Today I woke up at 1 PM. Not ok. I’m fixing it. Tomorrow I’ll wake up at 9 or die trying. And I’ll wake up at around 9 for the whole week. Need to re-establish that good habit.
Spring break ended, I didn’t game, I even quit smoking tobacco. It’s not a perfect score, but it’s enough to rejoice.
It was hard in the last days to see my girlfriend study the whole time while I was doing nothing, chilling on the armchair, phone in hand the whole time...
But if you want to achieve, you also need to know when to relax.
Relax is over.
I’m back.
GOALS FOR THE NEXT WEEK
1 Wake up between 7.30 and 9.30 every day.
2 Watching my phone before getting washed & dressed is FORBIDDEN.
Let’s go.
Props to you for cleaning the house and your room.
Yeah, sleep schedules are tough. Make sure you have a definitive reward waiting for you when you wake up at 9:00 a.m. For me, it's my morning coffee at 5:15 a.m. I set up my coffee maker before bed, with the coffee grounds in it, a bit of salt, water filled, and a coffee mug. I drink bullet-proof coffee which consists of: whipped cream in my coffee, in addition to coconut oil, Stevia drops Vanilla flavor. Presto! A great drink to give you energy and also healthy.
And make sure that you go to sleep at exactly the same time each day.
Cue ---> Routine ----> Reward (eg. hot coffee waiting for you in the morning at 9:00 a.m.)
Rewards are very important to keep habit in check. : ) GOod luck to ya!
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9 hours ago, info-gatherer said:
I just asked myself: why is this community so small? I mean, I don’t “want” it to grow, this size fits me perfectly. But we’re just a bunch of people. Where’s the thousands and thousands of people who suffer from a gaming addiction? Right now, if everyone of us decided to play on the same server (let’s say a WoW server), we wouldn’t fill a tenth of it. Are there similar websites? Are the people there? Mind blown. Let’s try to answer:
1 A big part of addicts (let’s estimate 50%) don’t know/don’t want to acknowledge that they have a problem.
2 A big part of addicts (let’s estimate another 50%) doesn’t speak english, or doesn’t know english well enough to contribute here.
3 Most addicts (let’s estimate 90%) are not thinking about quitting anytime soon. Either they don’t think they can succeed, or they don’t want to try right now.
This leaves (if my calculations are correct, but I suck at maths, and my estimates are ofc not supported by data) a 2.5% of potential members out there. Cam mentioned that gaming addicts in the world are roughly 10 millions. Let’s accept this figure. This means that today there are 25.000 people potentially interested in this website. It’s very likely that most of them have found this website via google. But let’s assume that only 1/3 of them registered. Even with such pessimistic numbers, we should still see thousands of post every day. But we just see tens of them. I don’t get it.
I totally get what you mean. I hear ya.
It's rather discouraging. I think your estimation looks reasonable = 2.5% that use this forum. And yeah, perhaps people gravitate to other helpful websites or even Discord channels. I have no clue.
Here's my personal opinion:
1) People try out this site, but don't stick to writing a journal, or do not buddy-up with somebody. Therefore, they fall to the way-side and we never see them again.
2) People who have completed their 90 Day detox, no longer need to use this forum. Therefore, they drop off and hopefully are living a life without addiction to games.
3) People who are addicted to games, have no idea about websites like this. IMHO, I think that other demographics besides young men/women in their 20's, could be outreached. Eg. schools, particularly junior and up to senior high school.
4) I wish there was some sort of follow-up questionnaire for former and current users of Game Quitters.
Eg.
Question 1: How has Game Quitters helped you? Rate it from 1 to 10.
Question 2: How long have you used the website? a) less than 3 months, b) over three months c) more than a year
Question 3: How long have you been addiction free from video games?
Question 4: How could the website improve to serve you and others better?
5) People just don't like using this website, for their own personal reason.
My mind is going blank....very tired at the moment.
But I think you raised very good points. Some addicts are in denial or don't acknowledge they are addicts. What I have done, is I kept my member status open on my former's Guild's discord channel. Beside my name = "Playing absolutely nothing". And if a person clicks on my profile, it has www.gamequitters.com attached. It's my way to spread the word in case people start to gain insight about their addiction. I might even write a note in the Discord Channel text chat describing GQ or other helpful websites. All of my former gaming friends play 5-10+ hours a day on average. I want to help them, but I cannot lead a horse to water that does not want to drink from the trough.
Over and out,
~Dani
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Thanks Natasha, completely my misinterpretation, apologies.
And...welcome to the forum. : )
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You brought up a very good topic that I will discuss later on. I have some personal non-factual opinions. I'm at dragon boat practice at the moment and will respond later thus evening. Thanks for bringing this up. Too few of us on this website....a bit discouraging. :(
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I am blown away by your journal. To say the least. I have not finished reading all of it, but from what I've read so far, I can relate so much to what you went through in the beginning.
I hope others read what you have contributed. And I wanted to say THANK YOU for all you've done to assist others here, and also with the changes you've done to enhance Game Quitters website.
Thank you.
Sincerely,
~ Dani
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University is a ripe place to socialize and date. I met my second boyfriend at university, and the relationship lasted even past our graduation, until we parted ways as friends. Go out there, and test out the waters. Just be direct when you approach girls. If there's a pool table, invite them over to play. That always breaks the ice. : ) As for the bar scene, it is what it is....a place to meet people and hang out. Be yourself, and have fun no matter what the outcome. : )
It's smart to bring a friend along. Everyone needs that kind of support especially in this situation! At least you'll have a buddy to hang out with, as you mentioned.
Your post inspired me to write something similar in my own journal. I'm much older than you, so I have a very different outlook. Still, it's about time we push ourselves to get out of our comfort zones, when it comes to dating and meeting people. I have to work on my courage to do so. So, thank you for this!
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8 hours ago, TheCrystalLake said:
Day 9
"Fear is a liar"
This day has been divided into 2 parts, one shitty part and a better one^^ When i woke up this morning i instantly got the feeling i could not really swallow. That feeling persisted when i tried eating breakfast. Since i also suffer from anxiety attacks from time to time when it comes to certain letal diseases it didnt take long until i was sure im gonna die soon. It was really bad. There was nothing i could calm myself with. Normally, again, i would have just play a game or 10 until the attack was over...this sometimes can take up to 2 or 3 days... So i sat down on my pc and started watching my recordings instead. I watched the last game i recored. Its more than an hour long. And omg yea... i felt like i was ingame ffs. It was really bad. Only afterwards i noticed my fingers were on the wasd keys all the time lol -_-. But i didnt relapse. After i watched the game i turned the pc off so i dont get even tempted and was alone with my anxiety. Shitty shit that was. So i started cleaning the appartment for 2 hrs. Then i went to meet a friend to distract myself and even told her about my attack. Shes one of the few people i told about my detox and to whom i explained what a bad time i had because of gaming. After that i went home and the symptoms are better now. I should maybe really try to get a therapy for stuff like this. But its so hard to get one here where i live. having to wait like 6 months for seeing a therapist... its just insane. Anyway. When i had this attack and i thought again about those 5 wasted years i was very sad.. cause if i would have to die now i would have wasted my last 5 years in front of a shitty game instead of living. But then... those last 8 days were the best days i had for a very long time. They were filled with so much life (joy and sadness). So iam glad i had them.
What iam grateful for today: Being alive.
Heya friend,
I'm really glad you're here and alive. You did something productive to distract you from anxiety. You went to a friend for support. You were able to resist playing video games.
: ) I think you won a few battles today, @TheCrystalLake.
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5 hours ago, info-gatherer said:
But at 6 PM I had this phone call with my GF, explained that I didn’t do anything the whole day. She said: “I think that in the last few months you learned that it’s never too late to live a meaningful day”. And I realized that she was speaking the truth. So I moved my ass and went out.
Thank God for your girlfriend @info-gatherer. You are very lucky to have someone that supportive.
Needless to say, you got your sh!t together, and went out. Vaping.....ok, I've heard of that as a replacement for smoking. You can use different flavors too, if I remember correctly. I hope that will work well for you. Yeah it's definitely a lot less hazardous than cigarette smoking. The only bad thing I heard about vaping was that when the container heats up, crappy vapes leak lead. So, just research which ones are less faulty.
I envy you.....Paris? To study there? >< That is a dream vacation for me. : )
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A white cloud with a silver lining. : ) That's a nice thing to hear. Especially in the ER! Things can get pretty grim very fast in the Emergency unit.
I think you've got a good way to insert physical exercise into your daily regime, considering that you're working and also studying.
Have fun tomorrow! Friday!!!!!
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Welcome Fireranger!
Your story is very touching. It's healthy that you joined this community for detox support. You will only gain from this experience and be among people who understand.
Take care and I'm looking forward to reading your journal.
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10 hours ago, Regular Robert said:
Bobbie's 90+ day detox
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SMILE WHENEVER YOU CAN
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------About two years ago, I began my detox. Among many issues that suddenly surfaced, I realized that I am not only suppressing negative emotions, but emotions in general. What does that mean? It means, that I held back anger, fury, grief but also happiness, joy and - of course - love.
After my detox - and also during my detox - I felt. I felt many emotions. "Feeling" is so close to "falling" and I want to believe, that it has a reason. If you feel and express your feelings, it often feels like falling down. It feels like showing weakness. That might even be the case. But what I learned was that showing your emotions might upset some people, might drive some people away from you, but that is mostly not because of yourself.
You do not suppress yourself. I do not smile to impress people or manipulate them, but only because I - myself - want to smile. I dare to express my emotions. And that often helps others to express their feelings. Even if they look away, they often smile, too.
but I am here to enjoy my life. I smile when I feel like smiling. So, go out there and smile like the sun smiles at you.
I read this during lunch break at work and it literally brought a smile to myself. Simply because you sound as if you've broken out of a cage, @Regular Robert. *big smile* I am very happy for you!
Let me tell you something, when I see a person smile and I know it's genuine, it is because when they smile their emotion also shows up in their eyes. The eyes and the smile go hand in hand, together. And it's not something you can force yourself to do. But that is my general observation about smiling.
Also, when I was going through a rough time in my life, I'd have a scowl on my face walking around, and I know that it changed the way people treated me, whether that be in a clothing store, grocery market, bank, school, work, etc. Upon reflection, facial expressions can have a profound effect on how people will receive you, and consequently treat you. With great embarrassment, I do admit to practicing how to smile, a few years ago. I wasn't accustomed to it. So, it's a work in progress. I think that I've adopted a slight smile that doesn't look so forced and dopey. Is it a mask? Somewhat. I think I practice this because I really don't want to scare off people too. I want to appear approachable, and I've noticed it has worked 80% of the time.
One day, I'll take your advice to smile when I 'feel' like smiling.
Thank you so much for this thoughtful post. I admire the title in Red/Green colors as well. Very well done, and the topic really stands out!
~ Dani
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I really enjoyed reading your last post in the journal. I am so sorry about your mom's passing last July. It seems as if you are moving forward into a different chapter in your life. It sounds like your mother meant a lot to you, and I loved reading about how she would have been delighted to see the bird's nest in her bathroom. : ) It sounds like she was a warm and caring person. You're right, life always finds its way, even in a deserted house.
You have much work to do. Maybe the motor fuel spilling over was meant to be....it has kept you busy, and away from relentless gaming.
: ) I love the pictures.
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19 hours ago, MPieterse said:
Just wanted to make a quick update on whats been going on the past couple weeks. I owe this community a lot and it means a lot to me for any of you who read this.
So I had two early finals, so the past week and this week have been fairly open to me. I've spent some of the time at home and I had a full day without anything planned. To get to the point I had urges to play games. I had been wondering over the past couple weeks if I could somehow play in moderation, and what I really wanted from video games in general. I didn't play those two days. I scheduled more work next week, but I still had three days off. Instead, I kept busy for the rest of the week until Easter. Part of me really wanted to play, and another part of me was overly cautious and didn't want too. So I decided to just finish all the things I needed to do first then see what happened. I already know I can control myself during the college quarter, so I wanted to see for myself if I could try playing during the day I had off. It was an experiment, here's what happened.
I played for a bit. It felt weird like I couldn't fully get into it. It gave me a headache after awhile. It felt repetitive, and but at the same time stimulating. When I was done, I uninstalled the game and removed steam.
The urges are gone. The doubt I had in the back of mind is gone. For the first time I'm really excited to start my new life.
This isn't a relapse, it's a victory.
I've won.
To any of you that are reading this, and you still have doubt and fear, its okay. It's perfectly normal to have urges and nostolgia about the past. Remember that your all stronger than you believe. You can do this, you've always been able to do this.
Peace,
Misha Andre Johannes Pieterse
I smiled when I read this! I'm glad you tested out moderation with games, and I'm surprised that you experienced a headache, that it felt repetitive, and there were no urges. That's profound. Good for you, you uninstalled Steam and the games. That's another nail in the coffin with gaming. Congratulations on your victory!
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The 90 Day Detox Journal
in Daily Journals
Posted · Edited by Dannigan
This is written very well, @Natasha. It touched a nerve in me. You see, when my little niece would visit, she wanted to play with me. And you know what I did? I turned my back on her and said, 'Just gimme one more minute, sweetie. Just another minute.....I'll be right there!" She wobbled towards me, poked me at my side and softly asked, "What dat?" , pointing at the MMORPG I was playing. To this day, I replay that vision in my head every time I even think about returning to video gaming. The scene cuts into my soul, and I promised myself that I would NEVER EVER allow a video game to interfere with spending quality time with my loved ones. I can't tell you how many people DO this, without feeling any guilt at all because they are so absorbed into the game! It saddens me and infuriates me, and I can do NOTHING to help them. As @info-gatherer mentioned not long ago, "You have to be the example".
There is a very good website for people whose family members are addicted to video games. http://www.olganon.org/home
All you can really do is focus on being healthy yourself: body, mind, and spirit. Live a full life, be active in your community, friends, or politically. Do what you can to give your father the best example of what life can be like without video games. Another tip I read was to avoid enabling him. Which means, don't clean up after his room, don't serve him meals at his computer, don't grocery shop for him, or do laundry for him, etc. He has to face the consequences of addictive gaming.
Thank you so much for writing about this in a creative way, from your tormented perspective. I like how you used the word 'horrific' to describe your father's behavior. It's a horrific tragedy. :(