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BgK

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Everything posted by BgK

  1. Strictly productive throughout the whole day might not be a good plan. I try to reward myself with some sort of high dopamine activities after a day with low dopamine activities. That balances things up and is more doable for myself. I think it’s ok to not be productive all the time and we shall not beat ourselves too hard for failing to be productive some time.
  2. Day 171 Found an interesting YT video talking about how to “tricked your brain to do hard things”. Recently I found it really hard to get motivation. I also relapsed once and gamed 3 days... This video talks about using a rewarding mechanism, which I am fascinated to try out. It makes sense. I heard some stories about a body builder eating strictly health for two years, then he had enough of the thing. Yes, achieving that is extraordinary and had huge benefit on his fitness, at the same time, according to his own words, painful. Then he switched to a diet plan that allows some guilty pleasure two meals a week. That makes himself more willing to stick to his diet, benefiting and doable, generally more sustainable. Beating procrastination is the same. I used to do strictly productive activities all day long, even studied something before I went to bed. I am surprised I do that for 160+ days but that’s, painful. Almost against human nature. I would like to come up with a rewarding activity or activities, to reward myself 10 mins for each hour of productive but low dopamine activities I nail down during the day. What could this be? I am not too sure about gaming, as I am still trying to avoid it altogether. Maybe badminton, or hang out with friends, or browsing the internet for political scandals. Things I am grateful for today: Everybody is imperfect, an amount of faults are allowed and everybody who is not a superhero.does make mistakes. Some make more than others. I don’t need to be 100% perfect to be accepted.
  3. I can relate to you mate. I often end up watching youtube or browsing the internet. Not that I give up on the fight, but it seems to throw me into YT not matter how hard I try. I understand when you say rational thinking can’t counter these thoughts. I know a way that definitely works on counter this. We game not because we just game, we are trying to get something out of gaming. Same goes for using social media, even browsing randomly. People might think it does not seem like we are trying to get anything when browsing randomly. Well, we are trying to fill the void inside. To go deeper, what does the void mean? How does it occur in the first place? Maybe because a person is feeling lonely, maybe he is needing a sense of success from gaming and he cannot get that since quitting, maybe he is overwhelmed by stresses in life, you name it. Most of the time we don’t want to think about those reasons, because they are the vulnerable parts of us. But facing those vulnerable parts of us is the first thing we need to heal and set free from them. How do we do it? You can write on your journal at home, talk to a mate, etc. Sometimes people wrongly believe “Man should not cry about their hurts”, but it’s those who can look at their hurts in the eyes that are the real man. I am on this journey. Although it’s not smooth sailing, like everything else in life, but when I really face my problems head on I get no desires no urges whatsoever to browsing and watching. Because I know the root cause of my urges and I can deal with the root causes directly. This is just my 2 cents.
  4. @gargamelThanks bud. Let’s do this!
  5. So, what’s the root cause or causes? Can I say I just want to game? What then, does gaming bring to people? What do people gain after gaming? One reason, is that it brings confidence. Especially for competitive gamers, those who are good at their games. In the game, one can be so strong and skilful with reigning influences, which draw the praises, the admirations and the respects so naturally. These things just boost ones confidence like a firing rocket. Then, for a gamer who abandon his real life for a period of time, to go back to life and get the same level of admirations from people, is impossible. To master a craft in a real life takes a while, a while is 10000 hours according to one theory. While one plowing hard in the life with sweats and dirt and does not see immediate result, the monster of gaming just waving his hands right in your pocket. Confidence is a big thing. The sudden drop of confidence right after Day 1 of quitting gaming is a big, well, huge obstacle in the journey. I am able to climb the obstacle with sheer will, however I don’t want to boast about it. The obstacle of confidence did not go away even after 157 days free of gaming. It’s like a rock on a rope tied to me and slows me down moving forward. However, I don’t regret me taking this path to walk the journey. The journey itself has been really rewarding with things I cannot imagine in the past. Then I still hope to untie this rope and release the rock of lacking confidence, so that I can run right into the future, Lol. However I don’t know how to untie this rope, well, not yet.
  6. Day 153 It sucks that the desire of wanting to play still stick around. It really sucks. From psychological prospectives, desires are not just desires that come naturally, well except sexual desires, hunger and survival instincts. But desires like gaming and browsing the internet come with a deeper root cause I believe. According to psychology once the root cause gets exposed and dealt with accordingly, the desire will go away. That’s exactly what I plan to do, get rid of that desire of always thinking about gaming when I am stressed. I will write about my journey in this process, failures and successes and the in-betweens. I will update this journal occasionally but not regularly, due to my commitments and the nature of this method(takes a while to see the result).
  7. welcome to the forum chilliflavor. Gaming is a big part, well, huge part of us. Giving up on that seems like a denial of oneself, but that's not the truth. Think about all the things that you might gain after quitting, get you motivation written down and stick it on the wall helps. Good luck and see you around😇
  8. The article is an very interesting read! I can relate so much to it. One thing I found it useful so far, is something Tim urban also mentioned, to create the 'Panic monster' on purpose (oh I love his illustrations!). @Alexanderle Let me reserve my thoughts on your belief of the non existence of gratification monkey, which I believe it does make a visit after prolonged periods of procrastination (in any form including gaming) in the past. One thing you tap into that I can also resonate, is finding the things one loved to do to replace those things that are not so loved. This is like an 'active defense' I will call it, or defense by attacking. It gives you a sense of control and confidence, because you are making choices rather than dealing with the balls that life throws at you. Confidence also boost our possibility to win the battles against procrastination.
  9. Wow, it has an impact to hear this warning from someone addicted to card games. I am thinking card games are ok because they dont stimulate as much and people only play the cards. At the same time I am worried that playing it will open the door to gaming and possibly pave the way to more stimulating games. Not sure if I can steer back even if I am 150+ days games free. Would love you thoughts on this subject.
  10. You think your story is different? Then here you have a company Lol. Quit gaming 5 months ago, still battling with the desire to watch YouTube and telegram. I guess they provide an instant satisfaction while hard working in life hardly provide a satisfaction as strong or as fast.
  11. Day 153 Wow, it’s been a while. I am proud to passed the mark of 90 days! It’s something I could not imagine when I started. At day 0, I was driven by the fire in my heart, at the same time not sure what this journey would take me to. Now looking back, I have mix emotions. The journey was certainly not easy. For me, it involved a lot of will power and wrestling with different thoughts. Not sure is it just me or some of you also had a hard journey wrestling with thoughts and desires to game all along the way? One thing I found interesting, is the lockdown in my city didn’t make my journey(of quitting gaming) harder in any way. I just came out of a one month lock down that nobody was allowed to go out except for shopping essentials. I was able to fight the desire quite easily with well planned activities day by day:) Then now after the lockdown, my journey became very tough. There are suddenly too many things one can do, but the energy and time of a person is limited. To make sure the body is not burnt out, choosing resting in front of the temptations of making money become a choice needing a lot of grit to make. Does any of you experience similar situations after the lockdown? Things I am grateful today: I have a job I joined gamequitter
  12. Hi Alex, I read you introduction and it’s very similar to my story. I am 25 now and felt like my years have been wasted in games. I now realise gaming is a coping mechanism for all my social stresses, financial stresses and life stresses in general. Stresses and gaming put me in the pit of moderate depression and anxiety, which I don’t wish to stay in for any longer. Recently I come to know someone who started his life again in his 40s. He was thin and pale, miserable and all and got divorced in his 40s. He had enough with a miserable life . After divorce he went to university again, later started his business. Now he is in his 70s and ran a couple of marathons. Strong, healthy and rich. I hope his story reminds us that it’s not too late to start the sh*t all over again.
  13. Day 68 The last several days have been a seesaw battle against the urge to game. At the time when there was nothing to do to fill the void (this situation does happen) I fought the urge with sheer will. I wonder is using sheer a possible way to do this 90 days challenge? I won all the battles, but often ended up at places like YouTube, reddit, occasionally at other websites which you know what they are. Cam’s theory about different types of gamer is a thought provoking theory. I am the escaping type, gaming is like a safe place to breathe when things are too tough. In theory, it will be most helpful to learn more strategies to cope with stress. I also found this Lonerwolf website very helpful. It talks about how to reconcile with one’s self through shadow work. I am quite looking forward to devote my time every morning for a period of self reflection, aiming to reconcile the black and white within me, hence becoming a more authentic person. Starting from tomorrow! Things I am grateful for today: Found this Lonerwolf website People prayed for me and I knew they cared Having my job that’s flexible and I can take time off to work on the weak aspects in my life
  14. Congrats that you passed the big exam! I believe most of us here all trying to rise from ashes, making achievements from failures.
  15. You have a point, gaming can be an escape from problems. Although most people don’t want to escape from problems, I believe. Everybody wants to be competent. Everybody wants to live a life free from all the emotional burdens. I read in a book written by a master of communication, that the problem is not hard, it’s the emotions that come with the problem make the things hard. The best way he recommends of dealing with a problem is to allow the emotions to run it’s course. I am still trying to work out how this works.
  16. Day 57 Not the best day of my journey. The me inside myself is wanting a say about playing games. It’s basically the only voice in my mind right now. Giving in is not a sensible thing to do. Ignoring it also results in the voice shouting louder. My life is not monotonous. I have my business to look after. I have a role in the band. I have shoulder rehab program to do. I have my running performance to be improved. Doesn’t seem like a combination that will need gaming to fill the void. how to minimise the danger of relapse in this situation. Any suggestions guys? Things I am grateful today: Situations like this only happens once in 57 days
  17. I know what you are talking about. I once beat 99.3% players in my game. I spent a big amount of time, effort and my life in getting better in that game. Deleting it feels like deleting part of myself, but is that really so? To keep doing one thing for several years shows dedication. To delete the game now shows determination. They are essential qualities to succeed in the real world. Maybe the game was deleted but your qualities behind playing games can be carried into the real world, and people really value those qualities.
  18. Hi Yzal, You searched up quitting gaming, you joined this forum, you post the introduction. A great start you did to yourself. I used to game all night, sometimes all day, without eating food, because eating waste my time. I am now in my 50th day without games. Tell you what, I fking love the life I am doing right now. What I found the most helpful thing when quitting game is to replace it with your dream. It’s not easy to look into literally achieving the dream. Everything seems working against you and you want to retreat. That’s natural when starting from 0. Take small but firm steps, allow yourself to breathe, to laugh, to cry, then stand up and fight again. When you are working towards achieving your dream, it does wonders for fighting the urge to game. I know because it’s not hard for me to do 50 days straight. My life is just too full to give room to gaming. Traveling seems like a great dream to have, especially for fighting the urge to game. You will have social interactions, you will face difficulties and you will have good memories. Good luck
  19. Day 43 I ended up falling asleep around 4 am last night. I went to bed at 10:30, lights out and the phone was away. At 12:00 I was still rolling and awoke. Picked up the phone, tried not to let the screen light distracts my system I ran a podcast and just listened. Still didn’t fall asleep, until 4 this morning. This forum is not about how to get good sleep, but I don’t expect any advices if no one knows about this topic. At the end, when one is tired he is prone to relapse. Good energy level is important in fight the urge to game. Still going strong into the 43 day. I have been able to do a lot of new things since I stopped gaming. The best of them all will be reflecting more on myself. It brings a lot of awareness of myself! Silly to see that I was so unaware of myself even in some area that are now considered obvious. My body has been given me sights and indications non stop about those things that I was not at peace with my body, but I just ignored the indications and signals in the past. Things like feeling very anxious was treated with more exciting games and stronger stimulations in the past. Anyone has the experience with anxiety will know if you don’t acknowledge it by any chance, it will not go away by any chance. Goal: Going for the run. 6 mins per km is the short term goal. Now I am down to 7 mins from 10 several weeks ago:D have some good sleeps Things I am grateful today: have the luxury to organise my work flexibly. Very grateful in the down days like today.
  20. Hi Julon, Welcome to the community. It is great that you want to do this at this early age. Like Alexanderle, I would give everything if I can trade the time back and start this process earlier. I am 29 days in the fight and already feel the big differences it bring. I pick up the “hope” I once lost (for a long time), my confidence gain a big boost, my social skills are speeding forward. Cam has a good list of activities he recommend, you can try some of those. I am doing badminton and reading at the moment, just tried body boarding last week. If unsure about what is good, just try something first and at least you know what you don’t like. Then you will find something you like. Fill the time up!
  21. Day 27 Feeling motivated today. It’s 1/4 through my 90 days journey, the result I get so far is obvious. I notice a big change in my mood. I feel a sense of confidence. This is different. I used to game really competitively, I once got a rank that’s higher than 99.3% of all the players in my country. People will think I have all the reasons to be confident, but that’s not what happened. I was in a fake sense of confidence, I only realise that when I have a taste of confidence in real life now. Fascinating. My Goal: Improve my running to 5.5mins/km. Now I am doing 7mins/km. Long term goal is 4 mins. Initial conversations with good old friends that I haven’t talked to in ages. Do more social activities. Things I am grateful today: Friend who reaches out to me constantly despite me struggling to open up.
  22. Hi RB1, For me, it just acts as a helping hand in difficult time. I made it to act like that. Please be aware this is just my personal experience and should not be taken as medical advice. I am always cautious putting pills down my body, unless absolutely necessary. In my years of battling with depression, I would only use it when I was suicidal. Big help? Well not a lot. I would still feel depressed but it did get the suicidal thoughts off my mind in those particular periods. It’s good to have them within reach, for emergencies. Just note that they don’t take effect immediately. If I remember right they take effect the next day. I would just postpone my suicide plan to the next day and see what happened. The thoughts would go away. Most of the time I would rather seek natural remedies or just tough it out. In my several years of battling, I only took antidepressants less than 5% of the days, although I had boxes and boxes of them from the doctor. I would exercise, I would seek counselling, I would go to church. Both councelling and church gave me big help. Personally speaking I think they solved my problems from the roots, which I like a lot. Everybody is different. Professional advice is recommended for making decision.
  23. @ElectroNugget Thanks man for the encouragements! They really matter. I am actually introverted. I started my small business after high school, for 5 years now. I don’t have employee, so the trader-customer relationship is my only socialising. You bet that relationship won’t go too deep. From your advice, I think I can socialise with other traders in my trade. Also I play good badminton, I can socialise with other badminton enthusiasts. I will keep posting updates!