BooksandTrees

It means that after work I'm so mentally fatigued that I can take some deep breaths for a bit and instantly feel like I could sleep for a long period of time with no desire to do anything else.

Today was tough. There was a huge problem with a design and I was asked to fix it. This stressed me out because I now have 5 deadlines this week. Like, damn dude. I chose not to work late though. I'm tired of that. It's been 3 straight weeks without a day off. I'm burnt out and tired. So I enjoyed dinner and just relaxed. I am gonna take a shower and sleep or something. This week I'll return to art and exercise when I have energy.

I just play alone because of the quarantine. It's a lot of fun. I just shoot on the wall to relieve stress.

Thanks! I was too tired today to do something unfortunately. I'm a novice as well so don't worry. Go ahead and post stuff!

You're in the right place. You wrote a great post. Let this be your identity and compass. Turn to these words you wrote when you have cravings and then write about it until you don't crave anymore. Welcome to the forums.

What are you doing to deal with this anxious energy? Have you tried doing body exercises like pushups etc? Running? Something physical might calm you down and then you can do some deep breathing. Have you started researching new hobbies or activites to do with your son?

Trouble sleeping tonight. I get anxious at night some days. Virus stress and work stress are getting to me. I'm doing my deep breaths and watching funny videos to avoid it.

You have my full support! You've overcome so much in life and this is just another challenge. I hope you're able to get the surgery and also stay healthy through this whole thing. Thank you for sharing this with us. We've got your back!

6 lbs is a lot. I've been sticking to like 1 lb per week and just seeing how that goes. I think Buff Dudes and jeff Nipard have good videos on cutting and bulking healthily. As long as you're not starving yourself I can't really say anything. Sounds like you had a really productive day so that is good.

Sometimes I wish I could listen to my own advice. I didn't really do anything today. I think I'm burnt out from this project at work. I beat myself up for not starting to 3d model that voltorb's effects. I just wasn't in the mood for it. I think it's because I'm so uncomfortable with the software still. Those tutorials I followed weren't really tutorials. They were more like a classroom setting where I watched him describe stuff. It wasn't interactive. So I followed along and forgot everything because I wasn't practicing and it was boring to follow. I enjoy using the software, but I forget where everything is. I think I'm just gonna fuck around some more and give myself permission to not be good. I'm still being too hard on myself. I'm exhausted and need some down time. Sometimes making a huge project is tough. I think I'm just gonna fuck around and mindlessly make some furniture in 3d so I can just slowly learn, listen to music, and get more comfortable with making things. I'll post some stuff that I make every so often if I feel like it. It's like I'm trying to run a race and I can't even stand on my feet yet so I cry like a baby. Patience is key. It's so easy to be objective and help others on this website and I'm not listening to my own words. Edit: I actually did an interactive tutorial for creating hair and made this:

I finished my work today and will subtract the hours I spent from Friday so I can have a longer weekend. I was kind of angry about all of this, but I'm choosing to feel better. I played some street hockey to calm my mind and then watched a little documentary. I think I'd like to try and animate today.

That's actually a great idea. Every town in the United States has their own closed captioning TV and Radio capabilities so you have options. I think that might be a fun idea.

I think this is one of those stretches that all of us go through. Honestly, you're exhausted. I just think this is the case since I've had long periods of time where I feel exactly like you. I've been 77 weeks free from gaming and I still feel the same way you're feeling sometimes. Try simplifying things for the next week. Pick a bed time and a wake up time and stick to it for a week. I suggest earlier wakeups around 7 AM and sleeping at 11 PM. That has worked for me, but you might feel different. But since you feel exhausted, listen to your body. You might actually just be tired and not resting enough. Sometimes you need to rest for a week or two and then you feel ready to go. That's something that video games doesn't let you do: relax. You're always competitive and always trying to progress your stats or rank. Trust me, I used to be a professional gamer for 7 years before quitting. You're always training, researching, competing, and it's stressful. I was not sleeping, getting digestive issues, and always irritable. I wished I could watch a movie, but I'd fear I was losing exp gains or ranks. Give yourself permission to relax for a week or two and don't get any creative goals. I'd just find a consistent sleeping schedule, eating schedule, do some home body exercises for 10 minutes a day using "Home Workout" app. It's free and fun to use. It will give you some competitive juices because there's a timer and completion aspect to it. I don't think you'll enjoy walking right now. It's too boring. Some people love it, but for others it's too boring. You have a lot of pent up frustration. I find that when I'm always tired it's because I'm depressed. I believe depression is the suppression of anger and frustration. It's like your body's self defense mechanism to calm down. Exercise is good to release frustration. This app is all body exercises like pushups, etc. I think that will relieve some frustration. The less frustration your mind has to deal with the less energy your mind spends. That will make you less tired. With art, I think instead of trying to make something I'd just think about how you feel. If you're angry and agitated just sit there and make a bunch of angry lines and color around with it until your anger is gone. Then you might feel like laughing and doing something stupid with what you made or something. You're used to being proficient at video games for hours. Now when you're learning new stuff it sucks because you're bad at it and there's no escaping failure because you can't hide in video games anymore. So it's time to trick your mind into doing activities to relieve stress and those will be good hobbies eventually. You're doing great and I promise you'll get through this if you commit to it.

I totally agree with you and am sort of developing the theory that the only way to overcome an addiction is to redirect the triggers that cause us to "need" something to feel better. It's different with every addiction. I am curious about masturbation in moderation because there are some benefits I feel from it when I don't binge it. I want to have a girlfriend once I'm ready and when that happens I want to have sex, but not have it be the only reason I'm with her. So I'm slowly leaning on redirecting my triggers towards exercise, breathing, comedy, talking to people, journaling, or being responsible and completing the task at hand that I'm stressed out about. A lot of us will use escapism to procrastinate work or chores. If I train myself that getting it completed instead of escaping then I'll have the mindset of tackling projects instead of wanting to watch tv or something. I'm not curious about moderation with gaming at this point because I understand how difficult it was for me to get to where I am. I never want to repeat that again. I'm eternally grateful to have been able to quit. That's the same thing with eating healthy. I can't control myself with junk food so I'm just going to not buy it and if I really want a treat I'll still count calories and only eat dessert in a positive setting, not one where I'm alone and sad. We'll see what happens. I'll journal it. I didn't watch porn after the one yesterday and I'm not in the mood today. If I can lower my dependence on needing to masturbate then I think I will eventually be able to masturbate without porn permanently.

Just be careful with that mindset. If things don't go well I don't want you to think you're not acceptable since that's not fair to you. I just mean in a casually observant way it's important to be within the social norm while maintaining your originality. It's like eating your favorite cheeseburger. You're not putting herring on your burger, but you might add a new seasoning.

I stopped having the mental pull to play games. I stopped missing it. I stopped having brain fog and withdrawal. No desire or feelings toward gaming at all. No anger, no shame, no regret, no desire, no love, no excitement. It was like I never had attachment in the first place. I had been addicted to porn before quitting games. I can easily recognize the difference.

I think you have good intentions because you love your father. I'd just tread lightly here. I haven't played video games in 77 weeks. I clearly understand how they are addictive and bad for people with addiction issues. That being said, I can't try to make others quit. I had two roommates who were severely addicted to video games. They both got angry at me when I quit. I didn't even try to get them to quit. They'd just see me happier. They stopped talking to me over time and now we rarely speak. I also have a parent who's addicted to eating poorly and smoking cigarettes. I try to explain how I was able to quit eating junk food, social media for 79 weeks, and gaming for 77 weeks. They don't care and they don't want to hear it. People with addictions know the addictions are bad. They sometimes continue to be addicts to escape their own responsibilities of quitting their addictions because they know it's too tough. My point is I think you should only focus on yourself right now. You mentioned you're only 1 week into quitting. You need to focus on yourself right now. I didn't stop craving video games until almost 120 days of not gaming. That's a third of a year or 20+ weeks. You'll be stretching yourself thin emotionally and mentally if you're trying to get someone to quit with you and you might encounter a situation where you get stressed out and take out your stress on them in the process. Focus on yourself, see if you can improve your life, and if your father recognizes you have a better life then maybe you'll influence him to change his ways. There's two kinds of leaders: the silent leader who shows you how it's done, and the verbal leader. But verbal leaders need to walk the walk when they talk the talk. Good luck.

Keep it up!

I had the same thing, but there's podcast rules out there that state you can play a certain amount of seconds free from any song. There's also the fact that everyone has a podcast. The likelihood of someone listening to your podcast right away is next to nothing unless you tell someone to listen to it. I'm not saying this to be an asshole, but it's real. Not many average people get a ton of attention immediately for their first podcast. Anyone will tell you that. So I think I'd just get the idea off the ground if I were you. That way you have a physical product and then you can slowly tweak it over time until you feel it's good. Then you can advertise it more and even delete older episodes if you're worried about legal ramifications. Good luck with it.

I think different women care about different things and it's tough to try to advertise yourself to an audience of women. Most of these articles or books try to get you to advertise yourself to an audience of women. You're never going to have an audience of women unless you're a celebrity, on a dating show, or in a cult. You gotta think about realistic things. Like, what do you want from a woman? Or more importantly, what do you want out of a friend? Ask yourself those questions and understand women are asking those same questions and looking for that. Honestly, just try to act the "right way". Think about being in a group of people. Who annoys you? The people who speak over everyone, the loud people, the dumb people who mess things up, the know it alls, the rude people, the racists, the bigots, the ones with bad manners, the ones who chew with their mouths open, the ones who don't listen, the people who don't bathe or brush their teeth and smell bad, the people who dress in obnoxious clothes, the people listening to music so loudly people get annoyed, the people who force conversations with you about things you don't want to talk about, the people who talk at you and don't ask you anything, the people looking for attention, doing drugs, getting too drunk at a party, swearing too much in conversation, embarrassing you for their enjoyment, busting people's balls, talking politics and religion without listening to what the other person has to say, people who are needy and you have to do everything for them but they don't do anything for you, etc. (There's so many things people do that are annoying. This is just an example). You want to be the most socially acceptable person possible. If any of the general character tropes I mentioned annoyed you then don't do them. A person trying to date another person is going to want to have the most acceptable person. They don't want to be embarrassed or worry about something stupid like anything I mentioned above. If you annoy people, you're not approachable. Would you want to spend your time with any of the people I mentioned above? No. So don't act like that. Be aware that nobody is perfect and you're not going to be the most acceptable person ever. Just try your best to be socially acceptable and enjoyable to be around. That will naturally attract people towards you. You're going to have to pay attention. When you're in social groups and not doing well then you gotta investigate why you're not doing well. Being aggressive is not important. Being passionate, compassionate, honest, funny, smart, etc. are important. Women like men with drive and goals in life. Not all women, but most. Some women want a guy who they can control and whip around. You don't want that so don't bother. But wouldn't you want a woman in your life who has goals and likes things? Then you should have goals and like things. You're trying to grow your career, bodybuild, draw, watch anime, walk, and connect with others. Those are a lot of hobbies. That's what will attract people towards you. Are you doing it in the most socially acceptable way? Maybe? I haven't met you and won't meet you so I can't say. That's something you have to figure out through trial and error. Put yourself out there and if you look like an idiot then learn from it. I've had some neckbeard moments in my life where I looked really stupid and was embarrassed. I learned from it and moved on. Finding a relationship is like a math equation: (enjoyable to be around and genuine) + (respectable) + (attractiveness) + (self respect/worth) + (independence [goals, hobbies, not needy]) = relationship Take my advice for what it is: advice. I'm clearly not in a relationship, but I'm not really looking either. However, I have a large amount of friends, social influence, and people who find me attractive for many of the qualities I listed above. Not everyone shares the same qualities I do. You might want other qualities and other people might want other qualities. It's objective.

Today I'm 77 weeks free from gaming. I made it 5 days this week without masturbating or watching porn. Today I did watch, but it's part of an experiment to see if I can compose myself and see if I can watch or just masturbate 1 day per week. I just want to try it. I know gaming in moderation did not work with me 2 years ago so I'm hesitant to say porn or masturbation in moderation is possible for me. But that has to be. I don't want to have a fear of sexual emotions when I'm in a relationship. Gaming is basically that combination of dopamine rushes, escapism, and achieving things or competing in things or socializing, etc. So many reasons for gaming. We can redirect those desires through other activities that take less time and are healthier. I've already shown how I compiled a list of reasons I gamed and how I redirected those emotions into other activities such as sports (competition), seeing and making new friends and doing activities with them (socializing and loneliness), 3d modeling and taking a bigger interest in my career (tracking growth, creativity, self development), and more. So it's not like I abandoned everything gaming brought. I just do it in a more controlled, healthy, and better way. I'm looking to do the same thing with sexual energy. You can't just abolish those emotions. If I'm to be in a relationship I want to be able to have sex. If not, we're just friends and that sucks. I don't think any healthy person grows up wanting to be a cuck and I certainly don't. But I think it's about channeling those triggers to watch porn into better activities much like I channeled the gaming triggers. For stress I've been exercising. I play some street hockey in my basement, I do self body weight exercises, I take a shower at the end of the day, I purposely watch a funny video without watching more than 30 minutes unless it's 1 movie, I do deep breathing exercises (but not meditation), I eat healthier and drink more water, and walk around more. I've also stuck to my goal of going to bed at 11 and waking up around 7 or 8. The later I stay up or wake up the more stressed I am. For loneliness I just call friends, do a video chat, or talk to people at work. I haven't dealt with loneliness during the pandemic to be honest. For anxiety I do the things I do for stress. I haven't been sexually aroused or interested really since I haven't met anyone or anything. It's generally once or twice a week tops. For instant gratification I've stopped daydreaming and trying to imagine being successful with a hobby. I'm also not overly planning my hobbies. That kind of behavior leads to hours of day dreaming and that is bad. Too much daydreaming presents me with delusional thoughts because I only think about the rewards of an activity and don't take into consideration the hard work. Once I do a project and encounter hard work I'll want to give up and watch porn or something. Sometimes I will think about all the hard work and talk myself out of doing something altogether. So I think there's a difference between having an idea, planning a project, and daydreaming. Today I plan to work a few hours to finish a project for work, then watch a movie, and then spend some time working on my Voltorb project. I'll also cook dinner and pay bills.

I worked another long week. It's tough because I'm grateful to be employed right now, but my project is due soon and there's low budget. I'm proud of the progress we made today. I think I'm almost done with my components. Maybe a couple hours this weekend and I'll be set. For some reason I work better at night or early morning. I don't overthink during those times. My main goal this weekend is to relax, breathe outside, and do a little animation. Nothing crazy. Continue my exercises.

I'll get back to you. Long day

I agree. I'm just being patient and focusing on enjoying myself and my spare time before giving my time to a relationship.

Thanks. Yeah, you can see why dating apps are cancer. I also found it to be a trigger to go watch porn. It's not worth the stress. I think the concept makes it addictive and that makes it stressful. That's why I think @Erik2.0 would be better off meeting a woman somewhere in person, but I do hope my advice helps you.