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About Phoenixking

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  • Birthday 09/24/1990

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  1. Well, there's still a bit of mess left in my lungs. I saw the doctor when I came back from Japan and while the infection, bacteria, jetlag or whatever the hell it was, cleared up; he also told me that I have an allergy to pollen, most likely. One of the ways it manifests, is with seeming asthma-attacks. I have a puffer now and some days are better than others. It's only mildly annoying. I also bruised some ligaments in my foot the other week but I'm down to using just 1 crutch instead of 2. I'm going paintballing this weekend, though :p so all in all, let's say I'm fine but it doesn't seem like I'm going to be taking it slower anytime soon :p
  2. I think this new way of handling things is a healthy step ;-) Keep at it! Just remember to be easy on yourself. No pressure. Babysteps. Get into this new way of doing things slowly.
  3. Relapse is relapse. Addiction is addiction. No matter what habit you're kicking, in my eyes. You are totally on, though. I've never had a detox-buddy before. Let's see if it changes the way we detox ^^
  4. Two things about this. First off, I'll be fine. I'm not scared because I chose this and I control this. I control what I spend, when and why. If I'm in actual trouble, there's enough money coming in to make sure I don't starve and my bills get paid. It'd be a boring couple of months, but I'd still be fine. Even if I'd get fired instantly, there's always some shitty job somewhere that'd cover my expenses. It's all about taking your financial health seriously and doing some preemptive math. There's a good reason why I keep track of my money for 2 minutes a day. It's worth it. Secondly, there is no amount of money that will alleviate fear. I went to a great info session a while back, meant for freelancers looking to get a bit more insight into financial security and mental issues derived from that. I really felt like I was well off, mentally. There were people there who had thousands in their savings and were still mortified to make the jump. Meanwhile I'm always dancing on the edge but I'm having a blast XD There were people there who were buying and selling huge patches of land for their (therapy)horse farms and who were juggling their entire life savings. But there were also people who had spent decades saving, toiling away at a boring office job. They had become véry well paid but had no true life joy because of it. They didn't want to leave their financial security to become a psychologist, working from their home office. If you think about it, it's ludicrous. So many different stories, ambitions, types of people, job choices and so many different amounts of money in their accounts. And in every single case, it was not the amount of money they had stashed away, it was how big they were making the gap they had to leap in their minds. That one really stuck with me. So as long as you're not being a dumb-ass with your cashola, you'll be fine. Do some math, look at your money, what you are willing to spend/invest and how much time you can chillax and use your money to cover the bill while you get your shit together and figure out your next step. You'll be fine. If you're on this forum, it means you're emotionally more awake then most.
  5. Yeah. The visit to the doctor was about 150 bucks just for talking to him. But I'm an informed dude. I know what pills I take and why, I already knew or had a strong idea what the diagnosis would be. But the dude didn't want to hear it. I paid 150 bucks to hear somebody say 'no' to me. He wanted to do a whole battery of tests that would have cost me 10,000 bucks! MRI, bloodwork, ... Sorry, but no. In the end, I had to take a couple of simple over the counter meds and after a few days and with some rest, I was okay. That doctor just felt like he was moneygrabbing and it's very unethical. I'm happy my girlfriend had my back and that her dad works in a hospital and she was able to figure out with some of those connections what was probably wrong with me and what the probable cure would be. I'm even more lucky that the hostel I was staying at had somebody working there who used to work in a hospital herself and was able to help me translate all of the names of the medications into the Japanese versions. All in all, I was just very lucky to be surrounded by capable people. Apart from it all, I'm still very, very, very much in love with Japan. I'm totally going back next year. Literally éverything about Japan and it's culture fascinates and tittelates me to no end.
  6. Same here. Back after a while. Day 1 will be tomorrow I guess; but still. Empathy!
  7. Day 0. I relapsed and quit and relapsed a couple of times in the past few weeks. No gaming, al though things got close at some point. I feel like I still use porn as some kind of crutch to compensate for what I looked at games at for a while back. I dont' really have any game cravings. Though I think I've filled that hole with D&D and working and being social, and sadly, porn. I don't lose my shit over porn. But I feel pretty bad that I relapsed after 45 days. I want to do it better this time. I went to see my mom yesterday together with my girlfriend. It was kind of nice, to be honest. There's still a lot of history there and I notice that I'm always inclined to take things the wrong way. I've had to face that she's neither some monster nor some perfect being. Normally people grow up and at some point realize their parents are flawed humans as well and not some sort of mythical watching angel. I also have a bit of a problem with alloquating time. I spend too much time on Reddit or Youtube, and so on... There's a financial issue right now too. It's been an expensive month, more than I had guesstimated. Recent highlight: GF spent the night and it was lovely. I also met her family and it was hilarious. Budget status: Yeesh. I was making bank in the first couple of months of 2019 but also spending a lot. It seems my income has gone down but because of Japan, it's given me quite a dent. It's been a rather expensive month in terms of bills, insurance, power, ... I think I'll be fine in the next couple of month if I can land a proper gig or two. It's clear that my office job is keeping me afloat right now and I really do benefit from looking at what I spend on a daily basis. I've been spending money on frivolous things and it doesn't grow on trees! My one goal for tomorrow: Be careful with my foot and the torn ligaments. I'd like to try and go paintball this weekend so I need it to heal asap because there's no refund.
  8. Aaaaaaaaaaand we're back. "We last left our hero on the precipice of travelling to Japan, something he'd been dreaming of his whole life. Let's take a look at how he's doing nowadays. Cue the intro tune!" The Trip was gorgeous. I felt like the luckiest man every few minutes. I was able to experience authentic Japanese culture. I drank and ate what they drank and ate. Not a single Western thing passed my lips for 2 weeks. Safe to say that I'm pretty sick of tofu right now. Unless properly fermented or whatever. They have a pretty umami and a very subtle pallet. Even their whiskey (I visited Yamazaki Distillery) was rather subtle. I'm used to very pronounced flavors. So I was happy to indulge in such when I came back. I had gotten sick though. Pretty seriously. I had to lie down for the first half of the trip and that really was a blow. But my girl came through and helped me get some medication. There's crap healthcare in Japan so I lost some money on a visit to the doctor. But luckily my girl had my back. She was able to pull some strings and that's how I knew how to buy the right meds. Turns out I have a pollen allergy that make my body trigger asthma-like attacks. .... >.> Seriously? In the middle of Sakura-season? UGH! The views and nature and onsens were amazing. I often took pictures to remind myself of the beauty. My travel buddy was nothing but lovely. But my girl reminded me sometimes of how weird it was to have me travelling with somebody I used to sleep with. She took it like a champ though. The Girl and I are planning to travel next year to Japan again. I always wondered what would happen to me when I visited Japan. I always made it such a big thing in my mind. I was sure that I'd come back as some kind of monk or enlightened person. I didn't. At least, not yet. It was a weird change with some overinflated expectations and some other stuff. I'm okay now. I do feel changed. Like there's more energy inside of me, a stronger drive. All I need to do now is just follow the route I'm on. Japan was a great move for my inner peace. I spent a night in a buddhist monk temple. One of them gave me a bracelet as a gift. During the trip I learned "Ichi go, icho ye" (or something like it). Which stand for the idea of doing only one thing at a time, and giving your full focus and attention to that one thing. The bracelet serves as a reminder for that. It helps me not get overwhelmed by everything. The Girl and I are still going strong. There's lots of love and communication and some future plans about travelling to Japan together next year and travelling somewhere a bit closer this summer. We'll start planning the former after the latter has been a succes. I'm sure it's going to be fine. She's got a new job now. It's pretty demanding and she's gone rather early and home late. We don't live together but I can see the physical and emotional stress it's putting on her. I worry a bit about her, but if it's too much for her, she's supposed to be the one to say it in time, not me. She's a bit younger than I am and I have already learned that lesson. I have to let go and let her grow on her own. All in all, the relationship is swell ^^ We even had our first fight recently. Just a silly misunderstanding. But it feels like a funny milestone. The Family is a bit more complicated. My mom and I have been messaging each other less frequently. We've not picked up the therapy sessions. But we keep in touch on our own. I'm seeing her this weekend to tell her about Japan. It's been over a month since I'm back, but still. Gift horses and all that. My Girl is coming along to properly meet her too! I'm both nervous and excited. Since my mom's sister died, the family took a blow. Mom is cool with all of it, she says. She already said goodbye 2 years ago when the illness started. But my niece, other aunt, grandmother, ... They're all devastated. Especially my niece feels so lost. It's a long story, to be honest. But the main thing is that Mom and I seem to have turned over a new leaf and we both seem to take maintaining a good relationship more seriously ^^ The Job is twofold. On the one hand it's all good. The part-time job at the office is different every day. And I need both stability to compensate for my freelancing, but also some regular change to make sure I don't lose interest. For now, it's balanced. But I'm starting to feel that I'll leave that place one day and that it might be sooner than I think. But we'll see what happens. I now work as an online content marketeer, a cold-caller and administrative assistant. The freelancing needs a kick though. So I made a list to get my shit in order. It's ridiculously huge. But it's all written in clear, short tasks. There's 1000 of them. But if I can do just 1 per day, there's going to be some major progress in a year! This gives me some peace of mind. Just like the bracelet reminds me of: one thing at a time. I'm just a tad scared about money on short-term. It's been an expensive month and I didn't have that many gigs as I had thought. And some unexpected expenses... The well is drying up slowly. I need to keep an eye on things. The Mind has found a bit more peace. And a bit more discipline. The huge list is helping me regulate things and that's a big deal. My Job Coach recently taught me a neat trick to communicate with my Yin and my Yang. I imagined one side of me as the creative one, a flakey, jumpy, spazzy, pale, coffee-slurping, energetic, wide-eyed junkie. And my peaceful side was like a bigger, stronger, older, slower, tree-bark covered behemoth of a man. Both are me, just magnified aspects, polar opposited. And in the middle is me. We talked about how amazing ideas, gorgeous blossoms, ripe and tasty fruits, ... all need a proper thick branch and a solid tree to grow. If not, they'd all be blow away by the first storm to pass by. So she had me play out a conversation between my two sides and why my creative side was afraid that my peaceful side would take over and that I'd become boring and complacent. Being able to say that out loud took a load off. I've been allowing myself to relax more. Leaving me stronger and more energetic to tackle actual problems. This is a big change I needed. There's fire and water withing me and the steam will only appear when they work together. I don't want to douse the flame and I don't want to burn myself either. I need both, in balance. It's a work in progress, but I feel like I'm doing fine. The Body is kind of fucked up at the moment. When I came back from Japan I needed some time to get my stuff sorted out. It was hard to motivate myself to go to Krav Maga class. And recently I tore my ligaments in my foot so I'm on crutches for the moment. It's going to take a bit of time before I'm fully okay. And I strongly dislike that I'm gaining a bit of weight... Restarting excercising is on the list, though 😉 And so was restarting this journal. The Future is a mystery but today is a gift. I relapsed a few times in the last couple of weeks. I was clean for about 45 days. If my girl didn't help me destroy every videogame account, I may have relapsed in that too, who knows. The broken ligaments drive me crazy because I can't walk... Can't seem to shake the porn too. I guess I just haven't found my proper replacement yet? I'm sure I'll figure it out at some point... Recent highlight: Being able to write in this journal that I'm doing fine. Sure, there's still work to be done, but life's always going to be like that. So I consider myself lucky that I'm fine. Budget status: I have a serious case of the procrastinaties. There's almost over a month of finances and expenses that I need to check. I'll probably do it at some point. But just not right now. My one goal for tomorrow: Be careful with my foot. It's still busted. And I'm going to try and update this journal daily, but it's no disaster if I don't. At worst, I'd like to keep track of my mind and budget on a weekly basis. But I feel like daily or once every 1-3 days might work out fine too.
  9. HOLY SHIT. I've been off the radar for a while. I've missed watching likeminded people struggle and succeed. You are doing great man. It's lovely to read what steps you've been taking and what amazing progress you've been making!
  10. 25/03/19 – 4 pm - Days without games & porn: 36 Well, I leave for Japan in less than 24h. Today is all about buying the final tiny things I'd need like an adapter for Japanese power sockets and picking up my passport. Sadly, I'm still rather sick. I don't have a fever anymore but I still need to sit down and rest every few minutes. I'm weakened. I also still cough, wheeze and have trouble breathing. I'm pretty sure the worst part is behind me and it's just my body tidying up the mess inside of me. But I'm getting a bit scared. I hope this won't ruin my trip or make things more difficult. All in all, I always kept up that I love Japan so much, everything could go wrong and I'd still have a blast because of the simple fact that I'd be in Japan when things go wrong. All I have to do today is pack by bag. I'll start in a minute when my medication kicks in. I'm still rather tired and feel like shit. But I have to go. The trip won't wait for me. There's 1000 things to be arranged. Clothes, food, music, ... Granted, I'm going to be pushing myself a little bit here. Not a good thing if you're going to be travelling and you should be resting. But I'm not going to cancel 2 weeks of my dream destination over an infection. My health is important, but I'm also not made of glass. I have a doctor's appointment this evening and I'll be able to drop by an emergency pharmacy if need be. I'll explain the situation, ask if it's normal I'm still rather sick, ask about the risks and possible medication. I'm sure I'll be fine. I'm just a bit worried about the pressure in the airplane. My ears, nose and sinusses are so fucked. I'll be gone for a week or two. I hope to return with a bit more spiritual insight, tonnes of stories, and some peace of mind. I'll be bringing my copy of Atomic Habits with me too. I've been waiting my whole life for this. I can't believe it's finally happening. I'm going to Japan. This is going to be the craziest, coolest shit ever. See you all when I get back!!! Recent highlight: Did a taping of 3 podcast episodes Sundaymorning. I took something out of me because I was still sick. But we totally nailed it. I look forward to our live show next month. Budget status: Wired about 1000 bucks for the trip. Should be enough. Still have enough saved for 2 months of rent. Add to that that I'll get my part-time paycheck soon and I assume April and May will be okay months but I'll need more freelance work soon. I have planned a freelance-get-work-brainstorm-day with myself where I'll send my new headshots to casting agencies, try and get some auditions done, etc... My one goal for tomorrow: Be mindful of my body and my health. Improvise and stay true to myself and what I want from this trip. Relax and just enjoy the ride.
  11. Phoenixking


    Hey man, how are you?
  12. You decide what is real and what is not. Is it purgatory or is it the stage in between life and death? Death being your previous life, addicted to games and emotionally messy, life being your new potential self, balanced, happy. I fully agree with what @fawn_xoxo says. Every ounce of your energy should be directed towards yourself right now. Don't think of career, relationships, dating, whatever. You require and deserve love from yourself. You need to help yourself out, communicate with yourself. Heck, I used to talk to a mirror sometimes! The ends justify the means. You seems to have a bit of money stashed away. You feel like you need a break from work, your mom, the world? Then do it. Don't do it impulsively, think it through. But if that's actually what you crave, a break so to speak, go for it man. You deserve to find some peace of mind. Read self-help books, meditate, maybe get a different therapist if need me, a mental wellbeing workshop, anything at all. I start big stuff like this with a brainstorm with myself. I clear out a hour or 6 and as if it was a work project or helping out a true friend who's in dire need, I go to town like I'm Robin Williams at an improv gig. Figure out a million different ways you'd like to change your life for the better, make a huge list. Then perhaps purify it by selecting stuff that's easy to achieve, short-term stuff or stuff that's super important. That would give you a proper start in just a few hours of effort. Or don't. Don't listen to me, listen to yourself, that's the whole point. You're a great dude. The next love of your life is around the corner. You need only look into a mirror.
  13. 22/03/19 – 4 pm - Days without games & porn: 33 I have been sick since Monday. Omfg, I feel like shit. The doctor said it's a viral infection of my airways. I have a stuffy and runny nose, major headaches and a fever. My lungs feel like they're filled with mucus and slime and I cough a lot. Today is the first day it's been a bit better. I leave for Japan in 4 days so I'm a bit scared I'll not be at full strength when I leave. I've taken a few sick days, cancelled an audition and called grandpa (who is now a widower) that I wouldn't be able to see him before I leave for Japan. My girl has been here most days, she's been taking care of my like an angel. Cooking, cleaning, cuddling, ... She's so kind, caring and nurturing. I'm lucky dude. I feel like I've been half-alive for the last couple of days. There's been no real addiction issues because I'm either asleep, coughing or worrying about Japan. I sometimes get up at night because my nasal cavity feel like it's on fire and I can't breathe that well when I lie down. It's been a few year since I've been this passive and I hate it. I know I'm supposed to sit my ass down, stay warm and do nothing. But it drives me crazy because I'm such a go-getter. I have to actively make an effort to not speed out of here and go do stuff. But I'd make things worse... I'll probably spend the next couple of days recovering and planning some more stuff for Japan. Part of me is terrified and a part of me is excited and not worried at all about recovering in time. I guess we'll just have to wait and see which side wins. Recent highlight: My girl taking such good care of me. Budget status: I should contact my electricity provider about changing my monthly bills. I'm also a bit scared of spending money in Japan but this is why I worked so hard. To relax and chill out. My one goal for tomorrow: Do as little as possible. There's a huge list, but a great day would be a day where I just focus all of my efforts on getting better. I'm an adventurer and an improviser, the trip through Japan is going to me amazing no matter what. So I have to try and not worry about things, relax, let go and just let my body heal.
  14. 17/03/19 – 1 pm - Days without games & porn: 28 I helped my girl move her stuff Friday. She's finally moving out of a house with 3 roommates and into her own apartment. She's worried about money stuff, obviously, it's a big upgrade and that comes with extra costs. She's been used to spending money frivolously on clothes and fancy food. But I feel like it's a strong and healthy step towards self-development and growing up. She might get a roommate, though, to cut costs. But for now, she's eager to just do it solo and I encourage that. Her 3 previous housemates were ... complicated. They used to be friends that even helped her get over her ex. But it slowly turned sour. The house is owned by the two dudes. One of them is a nice but a bit of a coward and never stands up the the other guy. That latter dude has some form or autism and is a gaming junkie. He uses memes, math and logic to communicate. I understand why and how, of course, but that's an explanation and not a excuse to be a dick. The last roommate is gamerman's girlfriend. She's got a psychological disorder because of repressed trauma of some kind. When pressed, she dissociates and will just hum, bang her head or just go catatonic for a bit. He is utterly unfazed by this and doesn't see anything wrong with it. My girl was first forbidden to help her out, despite being a trained psychologist, but then after she ignored an episode of hers, they roasted her for ignoring a person in need. They went back and forth with her like that a lot. My girl is lovely, but sometimes a bit too nice. I have learned to bear my fangs and channel my anger when needed. That's something she lacks for now. She can be a bit too kind for her own good. So I'm happy she's moving away. I spent the night there. It was romantic and hilarious. We tackled the move as a team! I took apart the bed while she filled boxes with stuff. We shoved it all into my car and after 3 drives, we got everything sorted and had all we need to spend the night. She bought me pizza, we had sparkling wine and a show we liked. We ate and drank on her bed, the only piece of furniture we were able to move in those few short hours. But it was all we needed. We had an absolutely lovely night and morning. There was nothing in the apartment but us, pizza boxes and an empty bottle of sparkling wine. And it was perfect. Then I had to leave for the funeral. My aunt died last week. She's lost the battle against cancer. The chemo was taking effect, prolonging her life a bit. Her kids had to convince her to get chemo and radiation, she was thinking of letting the disease eat her. The treatment took effect, but she'd waited too long already. It'd gotten into her bones. The kids were still hell bent on saving her or prolonging their time. But my aunt, without telling the kids, took matters into her own hands and stopped the classical Western treatment. She spent her entire life savings on crazy therapies. Shamans and witch doctors, people pretending to be healers, liars, conmen and frauds. My aunt lost herself to the grifters, eager to take her money, spent in desperation. Her discovered all of this only two weeks ago. They feel like they had time with their mom stolen from them by the alternative healers and the person who kept her secret and stimulated this path: my other aunt. There were 3 sisters, my mom being one of them. Now there's only two left. My cousins both didn't have the luxury of time to deal with the frustration and anger they felt, their mom was too far gone already, the money already spent. She was dying. They had to press pause on all of that clusterfucky stuff to sit by her bed in the hospital, waiting for her last breath. The funeral was warm, fuzzy and lovely. Her kids gave amazing speeches. The eldest is 3 years younger than me and I'm a professional speaker. But I could never have given a eulogy with half as much class as that man. He joked that he was glad the crowd couldn't see his knees shaking. He told stories about how their mom used to spray their rooms from them with anti-monster spray. He was so charming. He had been told by his mom that she didn't want her funeral to be sad, stiff and full of monologues. She wanted people to smile and laugh. He pulled it off with swagger. Her sister, though, the other aunt who got her into the 'alternative swamp', as my cousin named it, had a different approach. She opened the funeral with a 5 page-speech. She even forced her kid, my 8-year-old cousin to recite a poem. The latter chickened out. No kid in their right mind would voluntarily do such a thing so we all assume that my crazy aunt pushed her into it. None of us are nowadays able to look at this aunt with the same pair of eyes. Part of me blames her and feels like she's a lost sheep. Part of me still loves her, she's no mean or ill-bearing woman. She just never learned to truly fend for herself. Sorry for the huge post. This is my diary after all. I just need to type these things out... It's been an emotional few weeks. The detoxing from porn is one of the hardest things I've ever done. I have lost my grandmother and my aunt in the span of 1 month. I've started freelancing more and stopped by full-time job and replaced it with a part-time one. My relationship with my girlfriend has blossomed and is showing no red flags. There's a fucktonne of changes. So many things to adapt to and process. I'm a bit of a mess sometimes. But I still haven't relapsed. It's getting easier. I look forward to getting to 90 days. The next few weeks will be less hard because I'll be in Japan until the 10th. I'll go and see cherry blossoms for the first time. I've been wanting to see Japan all my life. It's a dream come true. I will probably cry a lot while I'm there. A part of me thinks that I'll return as another man. Spiritually more awake. Changed forever. Sometimes I think it's folly and childish and very dramatic. Typically me. And there are other times when I can truly imagine myself there, all alone in the middle of some busy square or desolate temple, thinking about who I am and what I want to do with my life, who I want to become... There was this man at the funeral. His name is Alfred. I met him a few times when he was a lazy teenager. He'd travelled from Finland to get to the funeral. My deceased aunt was very active in a charity foundation. When I was a kid, there were a few kids from Romania spending summer at our village. My aunt took in one or two or three, so did my mom. He had left the slums a few years after that and had kept in touch with my aunt before she'd gotten cancer. Apparently he'd done quite well for himself. She read a lot of books about succes, finance, entrepreneurship, communication, self-improvement, ... He'd been a student, a butcher, a student again and now she's in healthcare and into globetrotting. He's lived in Germany, Spain, and now is in Finland. This random lazy kid from the slums, turned his whole life around and travelled the world. Switching jobs, self-educating, ... I made me very humble. If he can do that, why couldn't I? I've been noticing that I often can't or won't stop browsing Reddit or any other social media or even Netflix. I have a limiter on my PC and on my phone, though. Thank heavens. I'm sure that I'm using it as a crutch somehow. After I am done with the 90 days of detoxing from porn, and when I feel ready, I'll probably detox from this as well. I don't want to make my cup overflow, there's only so many things you can handle. And I have yet to read Atomic Habits and I really still shouldn't be this demanding of myself... But I want to achieve so much, climb so high, ... Sometimes I am angry at myself for no working harder and slacking off so much. But being such a good-for-nothing junkie. I look at the bad stuff and slip into being so demanding of myself. But I've done good things, I've taken the right steps. I guess I'm just still used to getting immediate results. Maybe after Japan. Maybe after the book. Maybe next year. I hope I find peace with this one day. I know things like these take time. But some days are harder than other. And today is totes a hard day. There's so many things to do and arrange. It's stressing me out, just imagining the list. It never ends. The infernal to-do list. TL;DR - My aunt died. My girl moved. No relapse. And the only thing that's more intense than Netflix seducing me to binge, is how demanding I am of myself. Recent highlight: The first night and morning in my girl's new place and us working as a team to move all of her stuff. Budget status: I'm going to FINALLY try and sort some stuff out for Japan. I already lost the opportunity to see some sumo's training because of procrastinating. I probably would not have enjoyed it because of how rigid and stiff it was, but still it's a shame. My one goal for tomorrow: Nail the busy day: Get new pictures for my passport. Then go nail the improv gig I got. Then go and do a photoshoot and get some new headshots out of the shoot.
  15. 14/03/19 – 23 pm - Days without games & porn: 25 Porn is bugging me less. Nowadayts my brain is already in Japan. I did fuck up, though. A fuckup worth 200 bucks 😕 ... My passport needs renewal. And because of paperwork, timing and flights, I need to pay extra for a quickened procedure. UGH. I hate paperwork... I have yet to sit down and arrange tickets and stuff for shows, temples, tours, ... I came home and ate and then left for practice. It's so late now. I hope to have finished the Japan stuff by the end of the weekend. But there's the funeral and my girlfriend's move. So I might have to sacrifice some stuff here and there to get it done. Got a message from somebody I met at the storytelling conference from 2 weeks ago. She wants me to lead some acting workshops! It's so cool that my presence there really paid off! Krav Maga practice was brutal. We got trained on how to defend attack from behind and my neck looks like a warzone from all of the grapples My new haircut feels amazing. It looks cool and I feel like a new man. I honestly believe in doing stuff like this to mark off old chapters and begin new ones. Recent highlight: Everyone keeps telling me my hair looks amazing. Budget status: I have yet to pay lots of stuff for Japan. It's making me nervous. I hope I didn't miscalculate anything. I tend to do that... I hope I don't rip my bank account in two over this, because there's really no more going back at this point. My one goal for tomorrow: Help my girl move and try and get 1 thing in order for Japan.
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