Paul A.

Welcome! Thanks for sharing your story with us. We’re here for you along the way

Definitely AVOID watching your friends playing video games, you’re creating unnecessary temptation for yourself by doing that That being said, I read your first entry, and you don’t need to feel ashamed for your addiction! We’re all here for similar reasons. Even myself, I was able to drop video games without much trouble, but I’m still struggling with a nasty PMO (porn, masturbation, orgasm) habit. So don’t beat yourself up. Definitely try to sit down and come up with a plan as to how you want your life to look moving forward, game-free. Come up with a plan of action and put it into place right away. And delete all your game accounts if you haven’t already. Burn all your bridges. If you know in the back of your head that the option to play still exists, you’re bound to go back. So get rid of the option. Anyway, that’s all from me. Hope this helps

This is helpful, thanks!

I feel like I’ve reached a crossroads. I don’t really know where to go from here. I’ve burned all my bridges with gaming and I’ve kicked it for good, but I’m still plagued by a nasty sex and PMO habit. And yet, part of me feels like even if I succeed at kicking the sex and the PMO as well, I’d only be treating a symptom, and not the problem itself. What the problem even is, well that’s what I wanna talk about. Sometimes, I deal with bouts of dissatisfaction with life. I’ve been dealing with them for as long as I can remember. I can’t really trace the source of it, all I know is that it’s there. Sometimes, it seems to disappear for a while, usually when my life has some kind of direction. But, it comes back just as frequently. Right now, I feel like I don’t have direction in life. Like I’m kind of just going through the motions. And through everything I’ve learned, I know this sense of directionless-ness isn’t inherently bad. In fact, it’s ok to feel like this (or at least that’s what I’m telling myself). But I still don’t like the feeling. I’ve formulated a few ways to try and deal with it, like plunging back into my hobby of making music, or becoming more disciplined with good habits, but I’m hesitating to take action on either of these. I think that until I tackle the source of the dissatisfaction, it’ll continue to come and go. I’m getting ready to sit down and meditate in the woods for a while (but I’m not gonna watch my breath, I’m really just gonna think). Hopefully it helps me to break new ground on the source of my dissatisfaction.

Been using PMO as a way to avoid spending money on sex. Not a very constructive coping mechanism but it’ll have to do for now. In the meantime, I’m trying to learn how to write, but I’m finding I don’t enjoy the act of writing itself that much either. If writing doesn’t stick, I’m not sure what my hobby of choice will be to replace gaming. Ideally, I want something that’s oriented towards creation rather than consumption, even though some consumptive hobbies aren’t so bad (such as reading). I just think I’ve consumed enough content for a while, and I’m ready to start applying what I’ve learned rather than overloading myself with information. One of these days I’m gonna sit down and set some goals, as well as put some systems in place to be more disciplined. I’ve done enough “learning” and I’m ready to get out there and just make things happen.

Had no idea you were a fellow seeker as well! Super exciting 🤗

Relationship problems can certainly be difficult, sorry to hear you’re in a tough spot. On the bright side I’m happy things are looking up. I’m always here to chat if you need to

Been struggling with PMO recently. I thought my mindfulness practice was enough to overcome it, but I was mistaken. I’m gonna start attending a 12-step program for sex addicts more regularly. Just haven’t gotten around to incorporating them into my schedule. Otherwise, fairly uneventful 2 days. Just been working mostly. I started writing a novel, which is cool. I’ve always had an aptitude for writing, but I never really put it to use. I’m hoping this novel will be something to keep me busy and inspired, as well as give me something to work towards. I also read The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. Fantastic book. I especially resonated with the pursuit of one’s Personal Legend as the driving purpose of life. I want writing to be my Personal Legend and a way to leave a legacy.

What’s going on? No need to discuss if you don’t want to

Have you heard of a dopamine detox? It’s basically a period of time where you go without any sort of stimulating activities for a while - more often than not this will include technology, sex, food, and things of that nature. Although, the term “detox” is inaccurate, it’s more like a fast or a reset. I’d suggest you try to go 12-24 hours without any technology. Hand over your phone (and laptop, if you have one) to a loved one and tell them your intentions. The goal isn’t to deprive yourself of pleasure, although that’s what it may feel like initially. You’re just giving your brain a rest. Give it a try and let me know how it goes!

Congratulations!

Now for today, 7/23/22. I spent almost the entire day at work. I'm scheduled from 9:30am-9pm. In fact, I'm still at work at the time of this writing. It's currently about 8:10pm. But today wasn't just a boring work day. Far from it, actually. I've spent a large majority of the day with my cell phone locked up in a locker, leaving me without a source of distraction. The benefits of this are huge. For one, I can actually enjoy the present moment and all the joy it brings. Second, I'm more present and vibrant in my interactions with customers and coworkers. I had a lot of fun just engaging with people throughout the day. Third, I'm able to sit and be with myself during slow moments. This allowed me the presence of mind to really think through my thoughts and feel my emotions, and to really observe them thoroughly rather than be absorbed in them. This does wonders for my mindfulness practice. And fourth, I even had the time to draft a journal entry about something that's been plaguing me regarding my spiritual practice: the need to have some kind of spiritual "experience" or "awakening moment". Ever since I discovered the spiritual path, I've been somewhat absorbed in trying to have some kind of supernatural, mystical experience to "cement" my spirituality. Well, today I came to terms with the fact that it may not happen at all, and that I'm okay with it. Ordinary experience is mystical enough when you allow yourself the room to just be. And, I also realized that there's no wrong way to "be". Just by existing in the day to day, we are already being. There is no greater accomplishment than being. Granted, the trap of ego identification can get in the way of this pure experience of "being", but I digress. Once you get beyond the ego trap, being is as simple and as innate as breathing. Every moment, we are being, and this is the pinnacle of spiritual experience. All in all, today was an ordinary day, but it was precious precisely because of how ordinary it was. There's great beauty and joy in the ordinary. Life doesn't have to be some whirlwind of extraordinary experience. If you ask me, an ordinary life is the most extraordinary life of all. I'll be back tomorrow.

I'm gonna do 2 entries tonight: one for yesterday (the day of my dopamine detox) and one for today. Starting with yesterday, 7/22/2022. Yesterday was an interesting day. As intended, I spent a majority of the day away from any technology, or any stimulating activities for that matter, including eating and reading. I woke up somewhat late in the morning, around 9am, and I spent about an hour outdoors before returning home for a nap. From there, I alternated between meditating, napping, going outside, and writing in my journal. It was actually a really nice change of pace from my normal days off. I felt a modicum of presence and tranquility I haven't felt in a long time. It was really quite pleasant. I ended the eating part of my detox around 6pm, with a nice greasy cheeseburger (prepared by yours truly). After that, I took another nap before I ended the detox around 9pm. I spent the remainder of the night until around midnight browsing Medium articles and reading manga. All in all, it was a very enjoyable day. I made a list of initiatives I can put in place to try and replicate the results of my detox on a regular basis, without having to do a complete detox. For one, I will try and limit my total screen time to 2 hours daily between my phone and my laptop. Second, I will not use technology for an hour upon waking up. Third, I will forego video games (which I've been doing) and social media. Fourth, I will avoid keeping my cell phone on my person where possible, in order to avoid temptation to use it. I'm very excited to put these initiatives in place, because I've found I really enjoy my experience of life when I'm away from stimulation and distractions. I also just feel more "myself", if that makes sense. Like I'm able to interact with the world as a more present, more vibrant version of myself. I'll be sure to log the results and the effectiveness of these initiatives in the coming days.

Welcome Lauren! Congrats on taking the first step towards a better, game-free life. We’re here for you along the way

Welcome! Always remember to take it one day at a time. No matter how much video games have detracted from your life in the past, you always have an opportunity to build a new life starting today. We’re here for you on your journey.

We’re here for you man!

Another workday. Not very much to report. I was able to start a new book while at work, titled F*ck Your Feelings: Master Your Mind, Accomplish Any Goal, and Become A More Significant Human by Ryan Munsey. Good read so far, I'm learning a lot about the difference between feelings and emotions, and the role they play in our decision making. I think the book will play an integral role in my journey to mind mastery. I have two more books in the queue, the original Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman and Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves. Tomorrow's my day off, and it's also the day of my dopamine detox, which I'm both dreading and looking forward to. As much as staying distracted and staying stimulated has derailed my life, I've almost gotten attached to it. It's going to be hard to spend a whole day out of the Matrix. I'm re-evaluating whether reading should be on my list of no-gos, because reading has never been a problematic activity for me, but I'll course-correct when the time comes. Of course, part of my dopamine detox involves learning to embrace boredom, but if I find myself so mind-numbingly bored that it's painful, then I may just pick up a book. Either way, this is my last entry for the next 28 hours or so. I'll be back not tomorrow, but the day after.

Glad you didn't let your relapse get to you. It happens, just gotta brush yourself off and keep going.

You're doing great! Keep us posted 🙂

Not much to report today. Spent a good chunk of the day at work. I was able to squeeze in 15 mins of meditation in the morning but that was it. Work days are always fairly uneventful. In other news, I’m planning to do a dopamine detox on Friday. I think I need a break from all the stimulation I’m subject to on a regular basis, and I think a dopamine detox will work wonders for that. It’ll give me some much needed time away from negative stimulants such as pornography and social media, and instead allow me to focus on meditation and learning to be alone with my mind. One of my goals as of late has been to conquer my mind, because I firmly believe the mind to be the root of all my problems. If I could only master my mind, I would be totally free from my recurring problems and vices. This will likely be a lifelong journey for me, but I think dopamine detoxing will give me a needed push in the right direction. My off limits activities for Friday are PMO (porn, masturbation, and orgasm), technology of any kind, reading (in a bid to consume less content as a whole), and eating. As for what I plan to spend the day doing, I’ll be writing, meditating, spending time outside, and drinking lots of water. I’m really looking forward to seeing how Friday goes. I would’ve done the detox as soon as tomorrow but I have work, and I’ll need my phone, if for nothing more than to call my dad at the end of my shift. Friday is most ideal because I have an uninterrupted stretch of time to conduct the detox. I’m gonna spend this evening learning more about what a detox entails and its potential benefits, but I have work early tomorrow morning so I can’t spend too much time doing it. I’ll be back tomorrow.

Can you tell me more about your avoidance of daydreaming? What fuels that habit of yours? I ask because I myself am interested in the effects of daydreaming on one’s emotional state

Glad you found the strategy that works best for you! Best of luck on your journey

Woohoo!

Welcome, and thanks for sharing your story! Best of luck on your journey! We got your back!

10th day of being game-free. I had off from work today, which is always a relief. Today wasn't super productive, but it wasn't a complete waste either. Last night, I had written about my goal to spend a majority of the day meditating. While I wasn't able to do that, I did spend about an hour and a half cumulatively in meditation for the day - a lot longer than I've meditated on any single day. I usually meditate in short bursts of 5-10 minutes, but today I was able to meditate 3 times for about half an hour each time. It definitely tested my patience, but I did learn a good deal about my mind and confirmed for myself a universal principle. The universal principle I discovered was anicca - a Buddhist term which translates to "impermanence." Everything in the universe is impermanent, from the smallest atom to the biggest star. Things arise, and then things pass away. In a more practical sense, I learned that every little itch and scratch I had during meditation eventually passed away without interference. This can be applied to thoughts and emotions as well, which radically shifted my perspective towards them. Even the most overwhelming emotions will pass away with enough time. That's not to say I refuse to take action to mitigate negative thinking and negative emotions, I just have a new perspective on them. Aside from meditating, I napped for a few hours, I watched some spiritual videos on YouTube, and I also wrote a blog post about thinking as part of a spiritual practice. I also made myself a nice dinner - bacon fried rice with eggs, which I enjoyed. All in all, today was a relaxing day. I have work tomorrow, which I'm not looking forward to, but I'm looking forward to at least spending the morning in meditation. I'll be back tomorrow.