Mettermrck

Actually I'm planning to go after work and on the weekends since I live close to work anyhow. I'll just rotate. Some friends advised me to do upper body 2x week, legs 2x week, cardio and also rest days. I'm a complete noob for the gym so I plan to ask the people there for help too. I plan to start small, probably 1/2 hr at a time but I'll work my way up. Sure I'd be glad to be a gym partner.

Thanks for the suggestions, Hitaru! I'll give them a look though I have to be careful. I don't want my life to become a sea of apps. Staying disconnected sometimes is probably a healthy thing.

Oh yeah ICQ one of my first chat programs...but if Cam digs it I can't feel too old

Moe, you're doing awesome. As someone who's also quitting multiple addictions at once, I can guess at the struggles and withdrawal symptoms you're pushing through while still maintaining such a positive attitude. It's like dopamine withdrawal x10! And you're conquering it...like a boss.

It's probably a relief to be able to communicate your struggles with the school and also some pride in the major work you're doing for yourself. They're probably happy to have the chance to help a student in trouble. It sounds like that situation turned out well, all things considered.

Sounds like a good book to read, let me know what you think of it. Good job hanging in there today!

I'm on my 4th or 5th try, Tom2, and I think this one is the one. So no shame in starting over. You learn something about yourself in the process.

Thanks, Tom2. I think it's just withdrawal symptoms that cause this sleeplessness. Without any illusions from gaming eating and porn, I'm confronted by naked reality. And it can be terrifying, seeing the depths of where you've fallen. After a while it gets easier. But by fapping every few days, I think I'm preventing myself from getting past the full dopamine withdrawal. Just need to do it.

I know what you mean. I tend to check the forums and reddit a lot during the day even as I try to read a whole lot more. I have to alternate my activities so I don't stay online too long.

Day 17/90. Also 22/22/3 soda porn fap. I'm surviving but it was a rough night. My sleep schedule is weird now. I typically fall asleep around 9:30-10 and I sleep on the couch in the living room where my Mom is. If I tried the bedroom, I'd get hit by anxiety, loneliness, or racing thoughts. I usually wake up somewhere between 11pm-1:30am, stagger into the bedroom and sleep for a few more hours since I'm nice and tired. Last night didn't work out. I slept on the couch until 1:30am but when I went to bed, I just couldn't get back to sleep. I tossed and turned all night long. I even went back to the couch but that didn't help. So about 4 hours of real sleep sigh. I think part of it is the fapping. I'm back to day 3 without it and this was my last real source of dopamine hits. I think some of those withdrawal symptoms are coming back since I've closed that part off. I can't go back because I do not want to go through this again. I do not want to sleep on the couch forever. In brighter news I dled the Duolingo app and was studying a little German last night. That was fun. I took years of it in college. There's a couple of native German speakers at work that I was talking to yesterday and trying to remember some of my old phrases. You talk to people more without headphones I notice. I got more compliments from my boss and a coworker on how slimmer I looked. That makes it all worth it right there. All the anxiety I'm experiencing is worth it if I transform myself

I've been tinkering with my life goals as well so this is a great exercise, Shine. I'm not as passionate about fruit, hehe, but it's good to find what you truly want in life. I'm still working on it. Btw, you have the cutest avatar on the forum. ?

Just don't give up. Everyone has many setbacks...scheduling your day will help keep you on track, preventing you from having that dangerous free time which leads to looking at the wrong things.

Wow, you're really pushing ahead! School and exercise...you've come a long way.

Good job taking positive steps and talking to your dad's co-workers. I know how intimidating that can be. Be proud of your successes...they add up!

Initially other activities seem like a way to do anything but gaming. But after a while you begin to be more deliberate about it, at least that's where I'm at with three weeks of withdrawal. You're doing great!

Day 16/90. Also 21/21/2 soda porn fap. I can tell the difference if I don't get my walk in and meditate. Walking acts like a burn off valve for the anxiety and just wears me out. Meditation is like a shutoff valve and cuts off the flow of anxiety at its source. Both are really effective and I have to keep going. I'm officially signed up for the gym! I'm going to the store this weekend to get some gym clothes, just some shorts and a t-shirt but I'll be ready to go. Might be next week or the week after when I get access. I'm psyched because this will give me an active and social replacement activity for gaming, easily my trouble spots. And it'll help give me something to do on the weekends. I noticed yesterday and today that I didn't want to listen to podcasts as much. I've gotten the sense that I'm overdoing them. History podcasts are informative but I have like 50 of them, some great some mediocre. I'm OCD about them and I hate it when I have 3-4 hrs.of new episodes I have to listen to each day. So yesterday I just deleted about a third of them and kept the better ones. And I spent most of the day at work without headphones. I felt more connected to the world around me, like I wasn't cut off from people or tuning the world out. It's an interesting change for me.

Thanks, Deep Space. Yes I'm looking forward to the gym. It'll help check the active and social categories for my gaming replacement activities, my two hardest ones. Yeah that anxiety and loneliness is a killer. Meditation is helping and the exercise. If I don't do these things, boy do I feel the difference.

I think I might need a therapist as well. My usual counselor is out of town for 3 weeks on a vacation and it drives me bonkers not having someone to talk to about my deep stuff. I definitely need more friends...friends period. You're doing great, Deep Space.

Glad you're feeling hyped, Hitaru! What app do you use time management? I have a typed schedule but nothing fancy.

I know exactly what you mean about taking on too much information. I love history but I listen to way too many history podcasts. It's like someone shoveling raw data down your throat!

Good to see you, Hassan! I was getting worried but I'm glad you're just spacing out your checkins. Yes, I find that being active in my faith and adding mindfulness meditation really helps.

Sometimes I have to.rigidly schedule my time, including game quitters, to avoid any mindless wasting. I think it's a good idea. I'm glad to see you back, Hitaru.

Day 15/90. Two weeks officially yeah! Also 20/20/1 soda porn fap. I can't believe it's only been two weeks off the gaming. Time is crawling but that's because it's a hard battle and I haven't found new activities that motivate me like gaming did. I'm working on it. Still trying to lock down the fapping. Saw a great mantra on the nofap reddit: "mother daughter sister wife". That really helps me think twice but it's a battle. I found out my employer has a gym, a small one but with modern weights and treadmills etc. If I go 10 times a pay period, it's free! I'm signing up today and I should get access just after the next payday in a couple weeks. I'd like to do some strength training and build some muscle. Nothing serious but some definition would be nice. And it gives me a place to go every day and be around people. It's a 24/7 gym! I got the Stop Breathe Think app on my phone for meditation. I tried it at lunch time and it helped clear my anxiety. I should have used it last night. I know this is weird but most nights I start off sleeping on the couch because my Mom's in the same room. If I start off sleeping myself in the bedroom I get hammered by anxiety and loneliness. Usually I sleep on the couch for an hour or so and then I get up groggy and go to bed and sleep fine. But once I wake up, my brain goes crazy. I need to meditate more. I also tried some gratitude this morning and that helped a little.

Good to see you again, Hitaru! I've missed your encouragement. Yes, you've seen me at some of my weakest moments when I wasn't really ready to quit. Now I am. I tell myself that no matters what happens in my personal life, I won't have these addictions with my.anymore.

That sounds like a great day. There's nothing like sitting with a friend and just laughing. I miss that very much. It looks like you've kept yourself nice and busy. 20 days is a good achievement. I'm right behind you!