Mettermrck

I'd give yourself more than an E on discipline. You're accomplishing more than you know...ESPECIALLY avoiding gaming and pmo. I know from experience how hard that is.

You're not avoiding. The very fact that you're writing your journal is a sign of your commitment to be different. The changes may be small at first, but if you just take it day by day and don't try to see too far in the future, you can do wonders with your life. I'm 41 and I still feel scared and alone. But I know I'm changing and I just hold on to that, one 24 hour span after another.

That's what I've been working on, my diet. I thought ahead to the kinds of foods I want to eat regularly over a lifetime...more fruit, less junk, etc. Then every week or two I try to make a small change...an apple at work instead of a chocolate bar etc. And that helps me slowly change my ways.

Day 44/90. I'm wearing a 2x shirt today. I know that sounds big to you guys but I haven't been able to wear one in 6 yrs. I have some hanging in my closet, those "goal" clothes you always swear you'll fit back into someday. I try them on from time to time to see how I'm doing and it's gotten better these past months. Today I tried it and one shirt fit...slightly snug around the midsection when I sit down but wow it fits! I sniffled a little bit hehe. It's moments like this that make the pain worth it, knowing that no matter what happens, I will be a different man. It was good timing too. My weekend trip to visit my uncle has been postponed as he's recovering from illness and the meds were knocking him out. I was pretty sad last night. Even cried a little...man since I quit gaming, my emotions just pour out of me. But I guess that's healthy? Anyhow, hopefully we can visit in a couple weeks. I really wanted to be with family and reconnect. The shirt came at a good time this morning. Gratitude 1. The shirt fits. Duh! 2. This community. I love writing my journal no matter how I'm feeling. 3. My mother. She lets me vent and talk and get the emotions out and then I feel so much better.

I use a notepad app on my phone which allows text files and daily checklists for myself. I also set reminders for myself to keep me on track. I know it's electronic but for someone analytical like me, it really helps me do what I need to do.

I'm glad you're really enjoying your job...I know how important that can be to your well-being.

Welcome back, aj! I relapsed many times and it took me several tries to get serious about it. Keep posting!

Sometimes you need a good rest. Nice work on the 30 days.

Hey, giblets, nice job selling off your gaming equipment. I know that must've been tough letting go of that stuff

Hey, jeff, I hit that wall the last two days and had to take a rest from the gym in my case. I hated to stop my momentum, even for a day, but I think my body needed it. Yours probably does too!

You're an example of the self-awareness I'm working towards!

Day 43/90. Yesterday was a rest day from the gym. I think I've been pushing hard and my body needed a break. I hated it though, haha, as I love the gym. But I'll be back today. It was hard not to feel like I was slacking but I have to be careful about these perfectionist tendencies. I ate more than usual, though nothing over goal. I guess I just needed a day off but man I want to get back on it. This whole process (quitting gaming, soda, porn and then exercising) is my light in the tunnel. Whatever my fears, I know I have this going for me, this to look forward to, this to get excited about. Gratitude 1. I got a text from a brother I hardly talk to anymore beyond birthdays. I hope to reconnect. 2. I have a comfortable place to live on the heat of summer. 3. I have good skills at work.

Yes, 5 hours can be a lot. I'm nervous about your reinstalling Steam, if only because I know how tempting it can be from personal experience. Be careful!

It sounds like you're doing great at the gym, taking the time to do it right. I'm a gym newbie so I know what it's like to take your time.

I know the job is important but there's always a way if things don't work out. I'm still pulling for you though.

Welcome, Lu!

Keep going, Hitaru. You're doing it!

Keep it up, Tom2!

Wow what a journal! I need to grab that template for my own personal journal at home. ?

It's not easy but it sounds like you're making progress. Yeah, nofap is tough but at least you're avoiding porn, which is a victory.

Glad you're recommitting yourself, Corvus. Like Tom says, think alternate activities. Cam's 60+ hobby guide is useful for this.

Cool, that was nice of you to open up your place to travelers like that. And you had a new social experience!

Thanks @Tom2. It's good to know others go through this too. I just keep focusing on my goals and the small milestones along the way. Day 42/90. Coming up on 6 weeks now and staying strong. Yesterday was a good day. I felt like I put in a strong effort at work for the first time in a long while. That made me feel good. I did get real tired in the afternoon. I wasn't sure if I was getting bored or just running out of energy. I wonder if I need more calories around that time. I did my workout after work but felt pretty tired in the evening too. I watched one video of a game I used to play because I heard a song at the gym that was part of that game's soundtrack. When I watched the video, I was a bit taken aback at how violent the scene was. I was a little embarassed that I enjoyed that at one time. Still, I have to watch out for the nostalgia. I also caught myself looking at book covers on Amazon that were a bit racy. Not porn, but I could see the path clearly. Whew it's a tempting world out there. For good news, I worked on my history project for 5 min. It's a slow buildup, but I wanted to start doing a little bit each day to build momentum. I actually didn't want to stop hehe. I'm starting to get excited about it and I see the potential in the project. Gratitude 1. I can see the differences in my body in the mirror 2. I worked on my project on a weekday 3. I feel like I have a stronger positive attitude these days

Gaming dreams happen sometimes. I wouldn't get too nervous about it. Just don't indulge them the next day and move on.

Keep it up, KO!