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  2. Vera

    Moving on

    I have some free time during work and I have the urge to write something. Anything. I was using flash cards app called Memorion. I can't say it's bad, I enjoyed it, but I got bored of learning generic stacks of phrasal verbs and various complicated grammar. No matter how well I remembered cards, it got me nowhere in terms of actually talking to people. I want to change it. I usually have the ability to study during my commute to work, I want to use my time wisely, I know it's finite and I must make the most out of it. I feel the pressure to be as successful as everyone else around me(or on social media?), to have better job, better skills, better relationship, to have everything under control and to be not only better, but perfect. The reality of my life is much simpler: if my knees don't hurt and I slept well the day is good enough. If I managed to do something above my usual routine (read a book, find some useful info, write meaningful post in my diary, do some coding) I can consider the day to be almost excellent. But right now day seems to stretch forever and I have to wait.
  3. Today
  4. DAY 6: Finally! I have studied~ An amount at least haha. Again, it's the holidays, so it isn't too important. However, school starts next week, so tomorrow I'll look at the holiday homework we have and get to work on it. It helps me get back into the feeling of being productive ahaha. I watched Netflix today. I've chosen the show Aggretsuko. Not sure why, but I've been thinking of it recently, even though I don't know much about it beforehand. Since it's an anime, I'm in slightly familiar ground, as I used to watch anime about a year and a half ago, so that might be why. It's about these anthropomorphic (think furries, i'm not a furry though haha) animal characters who work in an office, and follows Retsuko, a red panda woman who works there, and her torturous existence working said hellish job (Accountant). In between scenes she sings death metal about all the stupid shit she has to deal with at work. Unsure if my description of the show makes it sound interesting, but it's very entertaining ehe. When I was watching TV in the hotel room, there was a channel running a marathon of The Amazing World of Gumball, which I watched as a kid, so I decided to watch some episodes for nostalgia (turns out the show still makes me laugh aha!). The interesting thing I feel is that Gumball and Aggretsuko almost feel like counterparts in a way; aside from both following anthropomorphic main characters, Gumball is set in the character's childhood, and hence is rather wacky and the protagonist is carefree and slightly hyper, while Aggretsuko instead tackles adult life, meaning that the main character must take responsibility and vents out all her emotions in private (the death metal). It seems like a simple comparison, but the interesting thing to think about is that, as I will be turning 17 next year, I'm certainly through the cast majority of my childhood. Just the general thought about my future I suppose. I feel this might be what makes Aggretsuko so engaging to me, as life as an adult is something that my mind occasionally ponders. Maybe I'm just stupid. No gaming craves today so that's good. Today's slice of happiness: Water. Just thankful for water. Sometimes you just want water.
  5. Just want to say that you're doing great with the exams! It can be a really stressful time, so it's great that you are past the first one and are feeling confident. Your progress on Cello is great too! It must feel good getting things done. Good luck on the second exam!
  6. Hey, just let them be. You don't need to be bothered with their narcissism. And hey, Instagram is the place where people post selfies of themselves and their food thinking that it's important, but it's just a white noise.
  7. fawn_xoxo

    Hope

    I can tell you that I wasn't on any meds, yet for weeks nothing was interesting when I quit games. It goes to show exactly how much our brains are affected by this, right? Once you go past a certain time point, it gets better. I had paranoid and anxious thoughts about people because of the isolation I put myself in to game. I understand what you're going through. Exposure helps, but it has to be paced right. Don't ask too much from yourself at once, ask to be brave and try facing the trigger, that's a good first step and you're taking it, so well done. I suggest planning a whole day from the previous one, including time to just do the chores or shower and cook, but also duties and one little hobby slot per day. If you go to the last page of my diary you'll see I recently found out about a model of finding happiness, called perma, and I think it actually includes a lot of useful directions to take as a guideline. Remember to not be idle for long. Good job so far!
  8. Nowaday's most of the people interested to play a game, So for that if you interested to know some information about it then you will do one thing just find some new tricks from the tutorials and I hope that will be fine. I used Toshiba devices and in that device, you will get the software by which you will play any game. If anyone used that device or faced any type of issue, from browsing toshiba error 0xc0000185, you will get the proper solutions.
  9. We believe in you. You can do this! Remember, humans have done this for centuries! So can you!
  10. Days Without Games: Two (2) Days Without Internet Addiction of Any Kind: Two (2) Morning This morning I woke up and made myself some breakfast (Eggs with Peppers) and Tea (Earl Grey. Hot.). After this I created my morning journal to remind myself that there will be challenges, obstacles, difficult people, etc, but that I am strong and have the mental fortitude to make it through these challenges. Afternoon After eating some lunch we watched some of Fluffy's netflix show "Mr. Iglesias" which I do like because A) It makes me laugh and B) the episodes connect with me as an educator because I notice so many of these issues happening around me and am always striving to be the one that believes in all of the students. We did some chores together, went for a walk and dinner as well today. Evening I spent some more time re-connecting with the piano, reading more Respawn and creating an agenda (with rough time windows) for tomorrow and worked out (I have been doing AthleanX's Xero program which requires no equipment). I am spending the last hour here reflecting on the day and preparing for bed. Good - What did you do that was good today? Today I stayed present and in the moment with my husband and didn't allow technology or other things to distract me from that as I have in the past. If there was a break in the conversation, I didn't reach for my phone to fill the time or search for a new topic, but let that pass naturally and without judgement. Better - What can I improve? I feel that I can improve being okay with the "what" we do sometimes. Sometimes we won't be able to be going on a grand hiking adventure or something similar, but meaning and fulfillment can be found even in the simple things. Best - What do I need to do to be the best version of myself I feel that it is important to smile and laugh. I still feel that while I am approaching that Stoic calmness, it would be great to allow myself to smile, laugh, and not take things so seriously! Thanks for listening! Kris
  11. I chose "Memento Mori" for the title of my journal because it reflects on something that, 10 years ago, absolutely scared and depressed me - mortality. The fact that one day *snap* this life ends, and being 21 at the time that thought was scary. Needless to say, 8 years later and I can at least talk about it in a way that inspires me to create a better life for myself. Hey! My name is Kris and I am a teacher in Colorado. This will be my public journal which will contain things that I am okay with sending out to the public internet space. I keep a more private journal that is literally written just for me to put myself and the day on trial for no audience but myself because I feel that is important as well! Everyone around me says "things are okay" I know enough now to know that things are not okay. Pushing for competition in video games for the last 3 years has really heightened my touchiness/anger and my knack to follow the Myth Buster's motto of "If it's worth doing, it's worth over-doing!" on everything really did not do me any favors when it came to that kind of gaming. Add streamers and streaming into the mix and my last year was a huge mess, but I am coming out of those challenges a stronger person. The last year I legitimately considered escaping the challenges of teaching and considering a career as a professional smash player, a game that I never played seriously until it came out last year. I looked at how much money I could potentially make doing it, tried to get feedback, and be serious about improving and everything. This went right in line with me trying to improve my times in speedruns in order to submit runs to events and get to play in front of a big audience. A part of me thought that was cool, but as time grew on this year (and some time in therapy this year as well), I realized that my priorities were way out of alignment. I realized, more and more, that the whole gaming and online scene was not my life and the reason I felt like I didn't fit in was because I myself always fought to consider whether what I was doing was of value or not (and to me, ultimately, it was not!) After feeling a huge sense of guilt over pushing for another personal best in a video game this last Saturday, July 13, I went to lunch with my husband and declared PROUDLY that I was going for the 90 day detox to re-evaluate my priorities. In the end, I want to be the best person I can be but also be there for my husband and the people that are important in my life. No more training wheels! It's time to be the crescendo and aim for a journey that gets stronger and stronger every day! Memento Mori is about accepting that we could blip out and to not worry about it because the time for that is absolutely out of our control. What is in control is how we show we value our life and our time and find the beauty in the world around us! I will be experimenting with a few formats before landing on one that I like, but I hope that these journals connect with some of you and offer you inspiration. We are all brave for taking a step to make a positive change in our life. Together, we are strong and can do this! The time to make a true mark on the world starts!
  12. Jacked

    Hope

    I'm really self-conscious about how I look, and it really effects my ability to live a good life. I'm trying everything I can now to address certain issues so that I'm more comfortable and confident in social situations. I wish I could be less self-conscious but looks are so important to me, and society too. At least I'm starting to develop "healthy addictions" like reading, exercising, dieting, skincare. I do have a problem with over-planning and under-executing though. I guess I'm too used to being passive. But I have way more drive and motivation now than I used to. And I think it will get even easier as time goes on and I stay clean from gaming, as my dopamine receptors adjust and all that. Most things to me in real life seem kind of "meh". I'm not sure if its the meds I'm on, or withdrawal from porn and videogames...
  13. Jacked

    Hope

    I'm following a food and workout plan fairly strictly. To be honest, a lot of the time I'm just procrastinating and I'm not sure what to do. I sometimes pick up the guitar or do some drawing. I want to read and study more but I feel quite tired and brain-fogged especially after a workout and eating. I should shift those to later in the day.. Schedule optimization is ongoing. Hopefully I can stop feeling drowsy in the mornings so I can get some good work done then. I'm currently taking part in a social anxiety group, It would be good to make more effort in that area. I'm attempting to do more "In vivo" practice or exposure therapy. For example, today I went to write in a coffee shop and then to a new restaurant by myself. I feel really tense and uncomfortable in a lot of situations, no doubt influenced by all the years I spent avoiding doing anything, and instead I was immersed in the virtual world. But I've made good progress. I realize it's going to take a lot of time and effort to build up genuine confidence "out there" in the world, given my life experience so far. My first class went OK socially. Was able to make some conversation. I'm pretty awful with first impressions, introducing myself and making conversations continue though. I'm hoping to join a club or two and make some friends and practice social skills. I haven't had a social life in a long time. Actually for most of my life I haven't at all ... I guess screen-time took away the need for that.
  14. Vera

    Moving on

    Thank for the reply, @BooksandTrees. I haven't opened YouTube for a week and I started to write short notes, I haven't done that in quite some time because my phone was always running some kind of video. I think it's the step in the right direction.
  15. Thank you all Gamequitter's I will be back in 90 days, wish me luck!!
  16. Day 78 100% clean. Very busy. Very tired. Therapist appointment went well. Goodnight.
  17. My journal template links on page 1 here are now updated to reflect my paper journal, enjoy!
  18. Day 71: July 15, 2019 Today was a good day for progress. Cooked 3 healthy meals and found time for 80 minutes of walking plus cardio and a light biceps and shoulder routine at the gym. And I did all this while being sick. Sinuses have been acting up all day which has been annoying. If everyday were like today, I have no doubt that in a few months I'll have lost all the excess weight I've wanted to lose for 10+ years. My goal is to be in the best shape of my life by Christmas. That should be very attainable if I can sustain this level of commitment. Didn't get up to anything else exciting today, just some boring house stuff. Should be another simple day tomorrow, I have a 5 hour evening shift which should be cake. Excited about the future. I won the day 100 pushups a day counter: 11 No fap : 10 days
  19. Tzen1

    Tzen's Journal

    @fawn_xoxo I thought about taking up chess again. Learning the strategies and actually investing time in learning to play but I'm concerned that playing online with people would be borderline gaming. So I'm still investigating and reading the hobby page as well. Day 23 Today was another hard but eye opening day. We were planning to work on the house but instead my wife and I sat down and had a long discussion over multiple things. I don't want to give details but gaming has impacted a lot of our marriage and hi came to the conclusion that; I was putting gaming first instead of my wife. I wasn't picking up jobs and I would lie just to play games. My brain has been so washed that I have been using games as an escape and it has turned me upside down on how I view life. I think I have a lot longer to go on beating this but I realize now on how bad it really was. Getting back home I started to feel like my normal self. It might take a bit longer to get back to my is self but I'll get there. Anyway back at the house to do actual work tomorrow and the start of being a better husband. -Cheers Tzen
  20. Minor bumps I've been sleeping late, getting up later than I should and missing out a part of my morning, which makes me less productive. I have to correct that soon. Other than that, I've been mostly ok those days, doing some work and getting some progress. Not as much as I would like, but some is better than none. I have to remember that less than 3 months ago I was coming out of the gaming whole. I'll not fix decades worth of mistakes and addiction in just a couple of months. This is just the BEGINNING. A good one. I'm thankful for having found Cam's work and for being able to share the load with this amazing community. I don't say those things as often as I should, I don't express my gratitude and my appreciation of people as much as I would like to, this is something I also have to improve. I didn't follow-up with plans I laid down on the last entry, but I'll do it tomorrow, without fault. GF has no academic activities to do, so she'll come to my place and we'll study together. I hope I can get a hitchhike on her work ethic and be really productive tomorrow. Onward.
  21. Glad to have been of any help! If you ever want to talk about it, PM me.
  22. Bingo that is the attitude that gets you where you want to be. Here is a link to my Newcomer's help post on what helped me pull through my VG detox maybe something there will be of help. In the morning I begin my 90 day digital detox journey using only a paper journal, I wish you all the best & hope to see you on the other side! @JoshuaKeenan
  23. No longer will I post here once every 5 months with a, “I feel so defeated post, I should really quit”. It’s time to get aggressive about the things I don’t want in my life. life is a garden and videogames are my weeds choking my productivity goals aspirations and dreams, that reminds me I will see if I can write poems about what I am experiencing a and what withdrawal will be like you will be hearing more from me, and I want to make art about my journey. Poetry and music about it. looking forward to meeting you guys and being with you all here on forums on this journey of sobriety,
  24. Today I went to Starbucks and devised a schedule for me since I am a Licensed massage therapist now no more videogames, journaling every morning here to track progress, no longer using this as a defeated story of an addict, but turning this around for good. I need to be kind to myself and find other ways to re-energize. Work is sooooo draining so I come home to game, now I will work on my body and mind by meditating and working out, and reading Jordan Peterson 12 steps for life. And going to therapy tomorrow with my new therapist. Who specializes in gambling addiction i want to design boardgames be a licensed massage yherapist meet a woman Overlap videogame memories with positive real life ones get out of parents basement, will post tomorrow more practically this is just chicken scratch 7/15/19
  25. Yesterday
  26. Welcome back @sephinea the game addiction is totally real, here below is what helped me to achieve my detox take what works for you best of luck - I plan to begin my digital detox from devices & internet tomorrow. For your reference to help along the way here is ..A welcoming statement In preparation for a 90 day detox and beyond .. First move the consoles & games out of sight so it stays out of mind .. This includes uninstalling them from the computer & devices! .. Once it is done you can move on from there & a lot easier I might add.Getting rid of the games for good enabled me to finish the detox strong, consider that.After that you need to teach yourself how else to spend that free time! Make sure you are eating healthy, getting daily exercise, & proper sleep .. NUTRITION - big minefield of controversy I personally am behind a plant-based diet .. This upcoming documentary backed by Producers Arnold Schwarzenegger & Jackie Chan .. Check it out ✌️ I won't respond in forum to this topic but you are welcome to message me .. Find some hobbies to replace the time gained ..https://gamequitters.com/hobby-tool/Start some kind of journal with pen & paper, online here, or both! ..https://forum.gamequitters.com/index.php?/topic/3160-guidelines-templateshttps://forum.gamequitters.com/index.php?/forum/11-daily-journals/Do consider checking out the Respawn program offered here as well .. For what little cost think about that return on investment! ..Cross-examine other areas in your life you find consuming your time ..Excessive consumption is what leads to the time crippling addictions ..Replace such excessive consumerism by using your free time to create.Our one life, the time that we have is meant for so much more than feeding addictions ..You might not identify as an addict and that is fine ..If you are here for any reason to quit video games that is still a benefit to you❗Thank you for signing up and joining our united cause to make the most of our time --Give this your best and I am sure you will do well Welcome to the forums!! Neil, Ex-Gamer Addict, Gamequitters Member Direct Message Me, Discord Support ChatArticle: How To Quit Playing Video Games Article: Four Reasons We Played Video Games Article: Alternative Activities By Game Genre Article: Why You Should Detox Find a Video Game Addiction Therapist Download A Gamequitters Podcast Read A Gamequitters Blog 👓
  27. Paper journal until I return will make a post to mark the beginning of the digital detox soon, can't wait do this & share results! @BooksandTrees
  28. You ARE an addict. Most of us here are. If you want to stop doing something and you don't have the power to stop yourself from doing it, you are an addict. The sooner you identify yourself as an addict the sooner you can take steps to break your addiction. For me this was a very important distinction in my personal journey. My advice is to create the greatest distance you can between you and games. You need to delete the games off your laptop today. Remove all games from your environment. Try having a serious talk with your bf and explain that you can't be around video games when you are together. He doesn't need to stop gaming, just no games when you are spending time together. Don't talk about games while together also. That shouldn't be too much to ask for. Being surrounded by triggers for your addiction is kind of a bad idea and one day you will relapse. Hope that helps, best of luck 😃
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