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A Journal Relating to Addiction to Gaming


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Day 0

 

This is my first day on this forum. Little scary but ok. Today I just literally gave up the day and watched youtube for like 7 hours straight. That made me feel really bad, sad and most of all unfulfilled. I don't want to live a future where I just stare at my screen, getting nothing done in my life. I want adventure, but my own adventure, not someone else's and especially not a fake one.

 

Here's my rules.

  • No video games at all. If I stare at my little brother's screen for too long, that's a fail.
  • No youtube dedicated to video games. I know youtube is pretty much unescapable, especially when you're in class that pretty much requires it, so I'm going to limit it as much as possible. I still don't know my thoughts on TV stuff though.
  • On the spreadsheet for my personal tracking, roundup your time. (Example: 2H 45M = 3 H on the spreadsheet; Even 1 M stuff is round to 1 H)

Well, best of luck on journey. Happy reading!

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Hey @L3tsLive, welcome to GameQuitters! Seems like you got a nice headstart already, big props for starting the journal and planning out rules so quickly! 

One thing about YouTube I can recommend is to delete all of your search and video browsing history, and disable both. This way, 80-90% of your home page suggested videos will be from your subscriptions. I heard there is an app that clears out even more unwanted content from YouTube, but I do not know what it is exactly. Feel free to research haha:) 

Also, I suggest you try to not be so hard on yourself at first. Quitting is very diffirent for everyone. Might be easy for you, might be very tough. Round-up realistically- 2H 45M to 3H sounds very fair, but 1 M to 1 H is a stretch imo. I suggest that you don't think of your journey as a mix of "successes" and "failures", and instead try to think of it as a continuous road of progress- every mistake contributes to becoming free of video game addiction. It's like learning to ride a bike(or anything really)- you will inevitably mess up in the beginning.

Cheers!

Po

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Day 0

 

I broke the streak. My first failure huh. This reminds me that even if the journey is easy, I still have a long journey ahead.

 

I'm extending the rules to the following.

  • No video games
  • You can only watch music and educational videos.
  • No social Media (though news is allowed since my dad frequently watches and analyses it)

It might be harder, but they all seem to sorta sum up my internet surfing problems. Plus, looking at one of them usually makes me feel like watching the others, since they put me in a "I failed" mood.

 

Why did I break the streak?

I don't know for sure. I didn't do my morning routine and when my dad since if I could use the computer, I said that I'll use it. Ended up just consuming my entire day. I feel very sad and very not in mood. Here's my reflection to myself. Comfort is an addiction, growth comes from discomfort. Which to choose? Choose growth because this growth will positively impact not only your future but the entire world's future.

 

Currently, I feel a bit anguish and just not in mood, moody per say. I'm going to keep the bolded in mind for the future.

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Day 3

 

I feel fine right now about this game quitting journey. I can see now that without games and social media and most videos to fill my soul, I'm slowly getting more productive on non-school days. I still notice how much I surf the web sometimes which is a concern. Since right now it's a challenge to see whether I'm surfing the web or not, I don't know if I should include them in the rules (to be honest, I feel  a little scare adding them to the rules, a concern).

 

Now lessons I can teach myself. With an empty soul, I now realize after watching one of Cam's videos how valuable time and energy is to me. I'll admit that I usually don't act as if it's the case but I know that I want to ingrain this belief into my lifestyle.

 

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I notice you've described 'comfort' in a negative light. Some forms of comfort, like gaming and youtube binging, are addictive and bad for you. Yet living a life of many decades, maybe the next 70 to 80 years, with no comfort whatsoever sounds much like hell.

There are healthy types of comfort like cooking and eating a meal, walking in the woods, drawing a picture, napping on a sunday afternoon, and looking in the mirror while exercising, and many more. All of these have the potential to become addictive if done too much. Comfort is a discovery and an art in itself.

Growth is one of many possibilities and yet is marketed and fetishized more than the others. Most of our problems today, like obesity, corporations abusing employees, and cancer, are caused by too much growth. 

In my experience, God punishes us when we refuse to take breaks by cursing us with burnout.

Its about finding the right timing of situations when it is the right time to grow and situations when it is the right time to chill and be comfortable.

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Hey Bird by Bird. I appreciate your view. It seems comfort shouldn't be this evil thing. It's about balancing comfort and discomfort which most accurately reflects your wishes.

 

I read more about this and realized that humans tend to go for things that are stable, which is usually comforting. I believe this supports your arguement that comfort is not something to throw away. Now I believe that habits and comfort are related in that habitual rituals are comforting to us. So if we are to change our habits, we must strive for a new comfort level, not a ever-changing level, unless we're comfortable with that.

 

Reaching out of your comfort zone requires step by step climbing to a higher comfort level, while reminding ourselves that we can suffer for better. Basically, go for that new comfort zone.

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Day 0

 

Gamequitter-wise, I think I need to readjust the rules

 

  • No Video Games
  • No Social Media (Except Educational content)
  • No Videos or TV shows (Except Educational and News related)

Can't really escape them huh. Still, this should solve like 90%.

 

I don't know why I broke the streak back there. I guess I thought of my life and thought of my old life and saw my current life is too stressful for me. Since I learned more about comfort, I think I should make sure to accept your abilities and indulge in comfort once a while. Here's a question though. What comfort to choose from?

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Day 0

 

Broke streak again. Though less serious than before, it's still serious. I broke the streak by watching TV shows when my little brother was watching TV. I felt compelled and curious on what episodes the TV show had. It was also the end of the day and I was tired from doing various things that were both productive and unproductive.

 

I have to remind myself. Me watching TV shows at this point is a obsession. If it wasn't, why didn't I quit after the first episode and go do something I had wanted to do next. TV shows are almost an addiction to me. Still, don't be ashamed, just accept this and move on with your life. It's for your future.

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Day 1

 

School day so obviously I had less opportunity to "indulge". I felt fine about it, nothing that special I could figure out. In fact, my day had been sorta in a rush since I had a lot to do. Barely any time to reflect and feel. I did meet an urge when my little brother watched TV. At first, I was interested but reminded myself not to go any further. Lessons for me? Remind yourself you have a TV addiction to get through.

 

Some further thoughts. I wonder how I could help my little brother with this. He's very young but, I just don't know. I hope to at least give him good advice.

 

Happy reading! Stay curious, for until everything disappears.

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Day 1 (?)

 

It's been so long since I last journaled. That must suck a lot. They say journaling your day is like the gateway of knowledge. Who knows how many missed opportunites I missed. All I could blame is myself I guess.

 

How do I feel about this addiction. Right now, I had some urges when I went to the living room where the TV is but I managed to defend myself from them. The biggest thing I feel is regret over not knowing my journey the last week over. I might've even saved myself from the relapse last weekend.

 

Lessons here to learn. I've only watched one of Cam's videos so far (about valuableness of time and energy) so I would like to watch more when I have time. I don't remember much from that relapse but I do know not to test yourself. Basically, don't get cocky and try to do something that's dangerous. That's how I lost to the TV addiction and my day sorta fell apart due to a sense of "missingness". Since I'm thinking long term, for the most part I will probably stop playing video games, social media and most youtube for a long time so remind myself of that.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Day 2

 

Feeling fine. It's always short those feelings.

 

Anyways, the patterns I see is that school days are almost pause days, in which not much progress is made into defeating this addiction. In addition, it often leads me tired at the weekend which is where the addiction continues. I realize that I need to accept this. Just need to remind myself my path, how important it is to me.

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  • 2 weeks later...

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