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On 12/1/2020 at 1:26 PM, Pochatok said:

What did you paint @Alejandro? Do you use acrylics..? 

Hehe I paint to so I am very curious : >

Nothing exciting I'm afraid ... I was just helping my parents paint a few railings since they're selling their house.

HOWEVER I am curious about painting for recreation, I just wouldn't know where to get started. What do you paint @Pochatok?

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Hi all, I'm new here ! Today is day 1 of 90 and I'm enthused, curious, eager and of course nervous about my upcoming journey but I know that you are all here to support! A few takeaways from

Day 38: Slept in Did some laundry Saw my brother and his gf who came into town Watched a few shows Did some Uber Eats Watched some boxing (Mike Tyson vs Roy Jones Jr.)

Day 67: Slept in Uber Eats Home workout Uber Eats Show

Hey Alejandro, 

I am curious, what book did you start? I myself am reading There There a book by a Native American about Native Americans. Reading is definitely one of the activities I have to get into from my years of gaming. So let me know, I hope you've enjoyed it so far!

 

Best 

Jason

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3 hours ago, Jason70 said:

Hey Alejandro, 

I am curious, what book did you start? I myself am reading There There a book by a Native American about Native Americans. Reading is definitely one of the activities I have to get into from my years of gaming. So let me know, I hope you've enjoyed it so far!

 

Best 

Jason

That sounds historical ! I'm reading 'The Rational Male'

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Day 43:

Did a home workout

Did a crossword

Got my winter tires put on (I had to cancel a yoga class I signed up for because I forgot about my car appointment. I was bummed about this because it's hard to get into the yoga studio these days due to waitlists, but c'est la vie.)

Did some Uber Eats

Helped move/paint a few things

Caught up on some journaling

More Uber Eats

Watched a few videos

Thankful for: My physiotherapist

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The rational male, sounds informative! I really hope you do enjoy it. 

2 hours ago, Alejandro said:

Got my winter tires put on (I had to cancel a yoga class I signed up for because I forgot about my car appointment. I was bummed about this because it's hard to get into the yoga studio these days due to waitlists, but c'est la vie.)

Sorry you had to miss the yoga class. Hopefully you won't have to wait too long to get in next schedule. At least you got your winter tires on! 
 

2 hours ago, Alejandro said:

Thankful for: My physiotherapist

I'm glad to here this!

 

Cheers 

Jason

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Day 46:

A little different of a post. I wrote down my thoughts / what's been troubling me most over the past little while instead of my typical journal :

I am unsatisfied with where I'm at in life. I am frustrated with decisions I've made, those decisions leading to where I'm at today. I have no clear direction in my life other than wanting to move out. I'm 27 years old still living at home. I am frustrated with the prolongment of my gaming habit. For so long, I KNEW deep down that I shouldn't be gaming, but I continued regardless. This is because it 'felt good' in the moment and it was an escape from responsibility and dealing with my emotions in a healthy way. It feels like I am just waking up now to life and observing things around me. In many ways, my head was buried in the sand all these years and I have expelled my time into the void. I am grateful that I've stopped gaming, and I know that I can't regain the lost time, but it frustrates me nonetheless. I have no education, career path or adequate financial stability. I am not 'getting ahead'. I have no one to blame but myself for this. For so long I have ducked responsibility and culpability for my actions. I have been an adult for 9 years and it feels like only recently I have been wanting a better future. Cutting out certain things in my life has been positive, but I am still left with some significant gaps. I prioritize fitness, my mental health, and sufficient sleep. I'm unsure how to make myself more financially stable, while keeping my mental health in check and not detesting every minute spent at work. I fear being miserable and destroying my body in a field of work I dislike (I've made this mistake before). My resume is heavily outdated and COVID has made job opportunities more scarce (not an excuse, just a fact). I also fear the continued damage, and mental turmoil I am inflicting upon myself by not living on my own and advancing in life. More importantly, the longer I am not on my purpose, the more painful it is. I've always been super self critical, and that part of me tends to berate me into submission a lot of the time. Yes I know I am only 46 days gaming-free, but is increasingly difficult to remain patient/hopeful for a better allotment in life. The work has to come from me, and I can be very disciplined, it is just a challenge for me to manifest that discipline into making the next big step in my life. I've only ever had my summer job that I've felt passionate about(A summer camp for kids/adults with special needs). That was robbed from me this past summer due to COVID, which has denied me feeling truly purposeful for over a year now. I continue practices such as working out, yoga, and breathwork, but they seem to only keep my internal panic at bay for so long. I lack meaningful relationships and role models. I push people away and am a recluse in a lot of ways. The toolset I have to navigate the world is limited and I am unsure how to carve my path/put my dent in the universe from here.

Not the most uplifting entry but I needed to get my thoughts out yesterday. KEEP TRUCKIN' EVERYONE

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46 minutes ago, Alejandro said:

I am unsatisfied with where I'm at in life. I am frustrated with decisions I've made, those decisions leading to where I'm at today. I have no clear direction in my life other than wanting to move out. I'm 27 years old still living at home. I am frustrated with the prolongment of my gaming habit. For so long, I KNEW deep down that I shouldn't be gaming, but I continued regardless. This is because it 'felt good' in the moment and it was an escape from responsibility and dealing with my emotions in a healthy way. It feels like I am just waking up now to life and observing things around me

While I am only on my 5th day, i can tell you that I feel the same way sometimes. Like "dammit i wasted my life on games i wasted opportunities that could have been purposeful."  While these feelings come up we shouldn't dwell on them, or where our past decisions led us because when we cut games from our life, we started a journey to make things better, and things are going to get better for you. 
 

For moving out you could write down a list of things you need to do before you are able to move out. Like find a place you like, have stable funds (more on this later) etc.

58 minutes ago, Alejandro said:

I am grateful that I've stopped gaming, and I know that I can't regain the lost time, but it frustrates me nonetheless

Yeah it can be frustrating at times, but all we can do is acknowledge it frustrates us and push towards a satisfactory life, so the frustration numbs down for a bit and we avoid wasting time further. This is at least what I've done.

1 hour ago, Alejandro said:

I'm unsure how to make myself more financially stable, while keeping my mental health in check and not detesting every minute spent at work. I fear being miserable and destroying my body in a field of work I dislike (I've made this mistake before).

With COVID still around this is a bit difficult. You should never be stuck in a work you dislike. I am not really sure what you should do, but all I want to say is keep going, keep up the meditation, exercising, and getting a good nights sleep. All these things are good because they can improve your mental health and leave you feeling good. The sleep can do that and also regenerate your energy. May I ask, how much are you getting paid at this job? As once COVID ends (which is hopefully soon, we have approved vaccines) and things return to normal, with what you have you could invest in what you're passionate in. For now though, try to focus on what you like or is not that bad about the job you're in. 
 

1 hour ago, Alejandro said:

I also fear the continued damage, and mental turmoil I am inflicting upon myself by not living on my own and advancing in life

I understand this, not being at your goal yet when you could have been is just aggravating. However, thinking about that you're not there yet is going to cause mental turmoil, and I do not want that to happen for you. So i recommend, taking a step back, count your blessings, and instead of thinking "I'm not advancing in life yet." Say to yourself, "If i keep doing this, (whatever you're doing to work towards your goal(s)) I will get there soon." Also you have already advanced in life by going almost 50 days without games, which to me is a big milestone compared to when you started. 
 

1 hour ago, Alejandro said:

I've only ever had my summer job that I've felt passionate about(A summer camp for kids/adults with special needs). That was robbed from me this past summer due to COVID

Sorry about this, hopefully when Covid ends you can get back at this?

1 hour ago, Alejandro said:

The toolset I have to navigate the world is limited and I am unsure how to carve my path/put my dent in the universe from here

Once again, think of what you do have instead of what you don't yet. Realizing what you do have on hand alone will be a big push and will start to help you take the first steps of navigating this big world, along the way you can obtain more.

 

1 hour ago, Alejandro said:

Not the most uplifting entry but I needed to get my thoughts out yesterday

Yeah, no vent as much as you need, it's important to get the emotions out.

 

I'm not sure how my advice was but hopefully you can use some of it. 
 

Keep going bro, I wish you the best

Jason

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3 hours ago, Jason70 said:

May I ask, how much are you getting paid at this job?

  • I don't work at the job I disliked anymore. The money was pretty good and I had an opportunity to climb the ladder so to speak, but the line of work was not suited for me.  I do Uber Eats (food delivery) at the moment.

Sorry about this, hopefully when Covid ends you can get back at this?

  • Yes, hopefully things will be cleared up by the summertime !

I'm not sure how my advice was but hopefully you can use some of it. 

  • Very useful my friend. I just needed to put it out there. I appreciate your comments. I definitely need to count my blessings more often. I do live quite a blessed life, I just get caught up in a whirlwind of emotion sometimes. And yes you are right - if I keep slowly chipping away at my goals, they are likely to occur. Thanks for reading and your suggestions ! 

 

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