Jump to content

NEW VIDEO: I Quit MMOs and THIS Happened

90 days


TTT

Recommended Posts

I don't want to stop games forever, but I want to enjoy other things more than I currently do. For me a game is an experience, like an amazing book, which I want to enjoy over time in moderation, to enrich my life.

Unfortunately, the games I play are so enjoyable that everything else pales in comparison. I have a motorcycle but can't be bothered riding it because an in-game one feels great but without all the hassle. I don't want to do or have much, as I'm satisfied by digital replacements. I'm getting rid of these for a while, in order to make myself like real-life activities more.

I want to get rid of all other addictive influences as well. I tried before and I crashed bad. The instant-gratification me took revenge on delayed-gratification me with a vengeance. I'm not sure how to avoid that. I want to make the two work together instead of fighting all the time. Maybe I can find other, better ways for instant gratification, like maybe cooking, writing, exercise.

Day 01:

Day one was easy due to being done by accident. I woke up with a fever, went out, met a friend, came back, slept all afternoon, then got into how to get rid of game addiction. To delete games tomorrow, time to sleep now. Also, need to do meditation. To re-phrase the goal in one sentence.

Edited by TTT
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Day 02:

All is fine, no addictive behaviours except for one decaffeinated coffee. No strong urges either, except for horniness in the morning.

Slept till late, went and got a new bicycle because the old one is falling apart and not really worth fixing. Swapped tyres and seat from the old one to make the new one less attractive to bike thieves.

Made dinner, read some articles and it's time to sleep again. Deleted all games in the morning, easy to do. Kept the saves to one day continue playing. Did some mindfulness but not really enough to call it meditation.

Rephrased goal in one sentence: For ninety days I want to reprogram my brain to seek satisfaction in real-world things and events rather than virtual.

Tomorrow: At least 10 minutes guided meditation. To cycle to the park and do nothing there for at least 15 minutes. Also, do some free writing in the park, at least 15 minutes, to see what I'm really thinking about.

 

Edited by TTT
  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Day 03:

Slept a lot again. Did the meditation bit. Washed sheets. Cycled to the park, sat around for a while, wrote a bit. Can't say I did anything interesting, but at least I did something I had wanted to do.

Rode the motorcycle around a bit, first time for weeks. I was hesitant but ultimately managed to convince myself to do it. "I'll either be stronger or weaker tomorrow, one or the other" was what did it. I hate the idea of being weaker tomorrow.

All is fine with addictive things. One decaf coffee. I started making a lot of tea to replace the coffees. No interest in playing games. I'm thinking of confectionary but I think I managed to convince myself to not get anything for at least a while. I don't want the chemistry reliance from the games to be taken over by food, alcohol, coffee, internet, youtube, porn or sex.

Started reading, which in a way works the same as the games - progress feels good, things are new and interesting. I need to limit that to the planned 50k words a week. The book is a classic and I'm sure it will be well worth reading, but I should not use it to prop me up chemically.

Tomorrow - ride the motorcycle again, go through inboxes and sort them out, do a todo system yet again, read some of the book, get vegetables and fruits - few, to avoid bingeing.

Still avoiding serious thought about work/career. Sort the basics out, then I'll get to this.

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Day 04:

Slept 10 hours till 1pm. I need to go to sleep earlier tomorrow. Did some reading and shopping. Managed to avoid getting too much carbs, although I ate all the fruit in one go. Get even less stuff next time. Did the todo system - just opened an org file. Read from the book, didn't overdo it, felt like the right amount for a day.

Went through one inbox but didn't even touch the other. I hadn't seen any movies in a while, so I got one, but it worked a lot like a game - I did have unfinished things to do, yet spent two hours on something unnecessary and entertaining. From now on, only download movies if I've completed all tasks for the day, if it doesn't feel like I'm procrastinating by watching it. Also, didn't ride the motorcycle, rain was an excuse.

Addiction-wise, one decaf coffee, teas, plenty fruit in one go but managed to avoid any other carbs, watched a movie when I shouldn't have. Do not procrastinate with movies, exactly as bad as games.

Tomorrow: go to bed by 00:30, ride the bike if I have an hour in the evening, read from the book a bit, get a hard drive, sort out the first inbox completely, go to the class.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Day 05:

Addictive stuff: had one decaf coffee, also small glass of wine at a pub (fine), partly avoided reading as a source of content but not fully, ate two packs of fruit again but still no confectionary.

I need to make sure I don't use reading as a substitute for gaming. It can consume a lot of time, it gives a steady dopamine stream with new content and progressing page by page. Only read after more important things are done - B priority. Maybe even C.

Going to bed past the intented time, but still a lot earlier than previous days. No time for motorcycle. Cycled a lot although I didn't feel like, which was good. Inbox is fine, although shabbily, class is done.

Tomorrow: work, plus listen to finish the economist issue I'm on and the full current one. Listen to AI podcast. Go to sleep right after work.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Day 06:

Addictive stuff: had three teas with sugar, the third tasted nastily sweet. To reduce tea with sugar. Wasting time on that job. Wasting time with irrelevant stuff, in any way.

Tomorrow: Finish the episodes of the podcast I've missed. Other industry stuff all day, no time wasting. Tie the rain cover, collect the parcel.

Remember that every single day is a day that can be used well, or wasted. A day at my job is completely wasted, to make up as much as I can there.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Day 07:

Listened to what I wanted to. Got up too late for breakfast. Work all day.

Addictive stuff: Got a dark chocolate and fruit drink.  A lot of sugar in these, but I couldn't get good food once at work. Avoided listening to unrelated things except for a good sleep clip.

Daily stuff: done.

Tomorrow: Ride motorcycle, install new OS, tinker with it, install thunderbird. Go through website for useful projects, morning shower.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Days 08, 09, 10:

Addictive stuff: 08-two decaf coffees; 09-one dcoffee, one cider, another dcoffee; 10-one dcoffee. No games, no movies, very little internet browsing, no excessive reading, fairly good on all fronts. Should have avoided the cider, gotten dcoffee or water instead.

Starting to feel a bit weird with all the restrictions. When I thing of carbs/temptations, I keep reminding myself about life in a gulag or concentration camp - the most restrictive diet I do is feasting compared to that.

Intended riding the bike but didn't do it :( Big loss. Obviously fear.

Some tech stuff done that I've been postponing for months/years, which was cool. Small yay.

From tomorrow I'll try strictly only good food plus water (no dcoffee, tea, any alcohol whatsoever), will go hungry if no good food available. For one week (days 11-17).

Also, minimum of 30 minutes of exercise, 60 if possible (on off-work days).

Today: ride bike, continue with account change/all setup, check that projects website, get logics exercise book, do some kind of detailed plan for action. Tomorrow: ride bike, check insurance quote and get it if ok, class. Five minutes.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Days 11-15:

Addictive stuff: no games, no coffee, no tea, one bottle of cider, no processed carbs (other than some smoothies), no shitty food, two movies, no compulsive reading, a little bit of compulsive internet (industry related and social). To improve: no cider or wine next time I'm out (tonic water), less non-goal internet use. I don't think I'm getting any addictive source of dopamine, maybe just the non-focused internet use. This is next. Also, one movie per weekend, so I don't wonder all the time if it's ok to watch a movie.

Physical exercise isn't going well. I do some but not regularly or correctly. Neither is sleeping schedule. Will try going for nine hours a day, and again earlier going to bed.

I haven't noticed being too agitated or any serious withdrawal symptoms. Fifteen days done, seventy five left.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

Days 16-24:

Addictive stuff: Huge cravings for dopamine. No games (except for 15 minutes checking news one time today) but binged movies one day (~10 hours) and erotic stuff on a few occasions last few days. A couple of dcoffees over the period, a glass of wine or two, no shitty food (very difficult on a few occasions).

Looks like demand for dopamine has kicked in fairly hard, although it could be much worse. I couldn't stop myself anyway. I feel strong aversion to doing the stuff I would like to be doing. They don't bring any dopamine right now. In a weird way it seems like I've associated avoiding them with feeling shitty, so I avoid them even more. Doesn't make sense.

I tried doing some of the things I wanted to, but failed to execute them (gave up because it was more difficult than expected). One thing that seemed annoyingly cumbersome now takes no time at all. I need to do the same thing with anything that feels difficult. Solution: split tasks on even smaller (easier) tasks and go for those.

Difficult -> execute multiple times -> Easy

To post every day this week.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Day 25-26 (tue):

Addictive stuff: No games but erotic stuff. Also, a dcoffee and a small glass of wine. And a small jar of crappy non-shitty food I shouldn't have gotten. Why did I get that?

Up to now I managed to keep off most things. Unfortunately, this includes most positive things as well. Reading a book now on building  and breaking habits, to approach it more systmatically. Tried a couple of things and they seem useful.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Day 27-28 (thu):

Addictive stuff: Took way too long to get up in the morning. A small red wine yesterday, didn't even enjoy it. Next one is soda with lime, no ice, to keep sharper. Choice made now. A chocolate 90% cacao, not even tasty, which made it good choice for shitty food. Will have this one for a while. More erotic stuff.

Started an account to add +1 every time I actuate a good habit, -1 (or more, depending) on any failure. Couldn't think of anything I want to buy, but I'll need insurance for the bike, so this needs to get accumulated. Shouldn't be difficult to to a lot of easy stuff to get me going at a good and positive pace.

Getting up on time tomorrow, first timeb, is +3. Everything on the list I've been postponing, +1.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Day 29 (fri):

Addictive stuff: A dcoffee, tea, two bites of dark chocolate, a bit of erotic stories.

Got up well, to do the same tomorrow. +3 again. To do the habits thing, first iteration.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Day 30 (sat):

Addictive stuff: Ages on an erotic comic. Felt like playing but easily ignored it. Also, too much fruit again (grapes, cherries), to a degree that messed up my health temporarily.

The erotic stuff is just as bad as the gaming. I've started a habit tracker, adding +1 to each good habit I do and today I went to the negatives because of a -24 (due bad habit duration). Did a lot of stuff I'd needed to do, so managed to bounce up. Then back down, as I added -3 to each of two important things I've been procrastinating for ages about. So that will be -6 daily, until I do them. Won't get to a number to cover bike insurance anytime soon, unless these are taken care of.

Got up on time, to bed - so-so. Up again tomorrow from first time. Find a way to fix being groggy for hours - cool shower?

Edited by TTT
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Day 31 (sun):

Addictive stuff: A coffee before a performance. Erotic/artistic stuff again.

Started a Habits Scorecard. Expanded the habit tracker. Anything somewhat important that I've been postponing goes in with a -3 per day and -10 per day for the most important thing (work/education related). Ended up with -34 for today. :42_confused:

Habit tracker (+1 for good habit, -1 for bad, bigger numbers for more important things):

  • Good habits: 40; Procrastination: -40 (-34 new); Addictions: -32 (-8 new); Other bad habits: -11; Identity total: -44.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Day 32 (mon):

Addictive stuff: A movie. Very little erotic stuff. Some carbs but not too bad.

  • Habit Tracker: Good habits: 46; Procrastination: -74; Addictions: -35; Other bad habits: -15; Identity total: -78.

A good numeric representaion of how I've been feeling for quite a while. Old stuff I haven't taken care of are dragging me down and any progress I make is drowned in that. Didn't manage to do almost anything at all because of the coffee yesterday, which made me unable to sleep until 6am, after which I didn't manage to wake up till late afternoon.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Day 33 (tue):

Addictive stuff: Nasty carb overload. A cup of wine. Watching on youtube comedy stuff I've already seen.

Got a paleo bar as a reward for doing something I've been postponing. Ended up having six of these. I missed breakfast, lunch and dinner (late getting up, busy all day) and had to go on "healthy" carb bars and a bottle of smoothie. Ended up with stomach pain. I wasn't going to do the procrastination, as the day was very busy, but it would have been an empty excuse. I found the time to watch comedy but didn't find the time to do the important stuff.

  • Habit Tracker: Good habits: 58; Procrastination: -108; Addictions: -40; Other bad habits: -15; Identity total: -105.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Day 33 (wed):

Addictive stuff: Three alcoholic drinks, but had with good reason, not regretting them. Coffee as well, which was quite useful. Erotic stuff yet again.

Busy day, considering the set-up, but the things that I need to do aren't going away. Going deeper and deeper. WIth the stuff I need to do in the coming days, it will get silly in the minus, unless I manage to deal with the pending issues.

  • Habit Tracker: Good habits: 69; Procrastination: -142; Addictions: -40; Other bad habits: -15; Identity total: -124.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Real quick:

I think Wednesday is Day 34 for you since Day 33 is also listed on Tuesday's journal entry.

Real post:

I think it's admirable you are trying to quit and adjust many bad habits at once. I also just suggest being easy on yourself with them because there might be a day or period of days where you might crave video games or porn or something with a pull unlike any other and sometimes it's hard to deal with it when you have also quit or are trying to regulate many things.

I haven't read most of your journal, I apologize, but I was wondering if you've done some research into why you game, what your triggers are, and how they make you feel. Is it a social thing? An accomplishment thing? A form of escapism? Other?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

About Wed/34, that's what happens with copy/pasta+ cider, thanks for the note :) As for games, I think for me it's imprinted in the brain as route to life success, funny as it sounds. Back in school good marks were annoying work but fairly straightforward, games were challenging and life-focusing. So as a teen I learned that to be good at life means to succeed at a certain game I loved to play. Oversimplified, but gets the idea. Mixed with erotic stimulation, two addictions in one. It's a deep hole. Games are easy to stop for me, erotic stuff, not so easy. I hope a new system with the help of Atomic Habits should be able to help over time.

Anyway, I need to get up early tomorrow, something I need to do with people I love, and they'll be around for 2-3 weeks, so this thing goes somewhat on pause. Although, ironically, I'm sure that other than coffee and maybe some wine or not that perfect food, I'll be easily addiction-free for the period. Although I won't have time to do much serious stuff, either.

Day 35 (thu):

Wow, I just thought that friday had passed and started writing about it. My brain is fried. Time to sleep. Considered paysing the Procrastination counter to actually enjoy more fully human closeness, but life doesn't wait. Causes and results. If I want a problem to go away, I need to get it fixed.

  • Habit Tracker: Good habits: 69; Procrastination: -176 (never ends); Addictions: -41; Other bad habits: -16; Identity total: -152.
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

Day 54 (tue):

No games, no erotic stuff for last 19 days. Some not great food, quite a bit of coffee, a couple of alcoholic drinks. Good sleep.

  • Habit Tracker (not really used last 19 days): Good habits: 84 (15n); Procrastination: -822 (ticking...); Addictions: -41; Other bad habits: -16; Identity total: -795.

Sleep time now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Day 55 (wed):

All good. Correction for things that I had actually done for the procrastination counter. I can reduce the rate of increase for this so easily within one day...

  • Habit Tracker (correction for holiday period): Good habits: 91; Procrastination: -640 (ticking, -25); Addictions: -41; Other bad habits: -18; Identity total: -608
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...