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TTT

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  1. TTT

    90 days

    Day 29 (fri): Addictive stuff: A dcoffee, tea, two bites of dark chocolate, a bit of erotic stories. Got up well, to do the same tomorrow. +3 again. To do the habits thing, first iteration.
  2. TTT

    Journal

    You concentrating on "not to play" is like keeping a your favourite type of cake in front of you with a spoon in your hand, staring at it and trying not to eat it. It is a lot easier if you turn around and start doing anything else, like reading a book or learning something you like (history, a language, building robots, drawing, playing darts, etc) and completly forget about any cake. The struggle ends because you're doing something else. Walking in a park is easy and helps recharge some energy and makes you forget the cake, if you need an easy suggestion. Also, check out the signature of @fawn_xoxo, particularly the Atomic Habits, I started reading it and it's great. fawn_xoxo, thanks for that! :)
  3. TTT

    90 days

    Day 27-28 (thu): Addictive stuff: Took way too long to get up in the morning. A small red wine yesterday, didn't even enjoy it. Next one is soda with lime, no ice, to keep sharper. Choice made now. A chocolate 90% cacao, not even tasty, which made it good choice for shitty food. Will have this one for a while. More erotic stuff. Started an account to add +1 every time I actuate a good habit, -1 (or more, depending) on any failure. Couldn't think of anything I want to buy, but I'll need insurance for the bike, so this needs to get accumulated. Shouldn't be difficult to to a lot of easy stuff to get me going at a good and positive pace. Getting up on time tomorrow, first timeb, is +3. Everything on the list I've been postponing, +1.
  4. TTT

    90 days

    Day 25-26 (tue): Addictive stuff: No games but erotic stuff. Also, a dcoffee and a small glass of wine. And a small jar of crappy non-shitty food I shouldn't have gotten. Why did I get that? Up to now I managed to keep off most things. Unfortunately, this includes most positive things as well. Reading a book now on building and breaking habits, to approach it more systmatically. Tried a couple of things and they seem useful.
  5. TTT

    90 days

    Days 16-24: Addictive stuff: Huge cravings for dopamine. No games (except for 15 minutes checking news one time today) but binged movies one day (~10 hours) and erotic stuff on a few occasions last few days. A couple of dcoffees over the period, a glass of wine or two, no shitty food (very difficult on a few occasions). Looks like demand for dopamine has kicked in fairly hard, although it could be much worse. I couldn't stop myself anyway. I feel strong aversion to doing the stuff I would like to be doing. They don't bring any dopamine right now. In a weird way it seems like I've associated avoiding them with feeling shitty, so I avoid them even more. Doesn't make sense. I tried doing some of the things I wanted to, but failed to execute them (gave up because it was more difficult than expected). One thing that seemed annoyingly cumbersome now takes no time at all. I need to do the same thing with anything that feels difficult. Solution: split tasks on even smaller (easier) tasks and go for those. Difficult -> execute multiple times -> Easy To post every day this week.
  6. TTT

    90 days

    Days 11-15: Addictive stuff: no games, no coffee, no tea, one bottle of cider, no processed carbs (other than some smoothies), no shitty food, two movies, no compulsive reading, a little bit of compulsive internet (industry related and social). To improve: no cider or wine next time I'm out (tonic water), less non-goal internet use. I don't think I'm getting any addictive source of dopamine, maybe just the non-focused internet use. This is next. Also, one movie per weekend, so I don't wonder all the time if it's ok to watch a movie. Physical exercise isn't going well. I do some but not regularly or correctly. Neither is sleeping schedule. Will try going for nine hours a day, and again earlier going to bed. I haven't noticed being too agitated or any serious withdrawal symptoms. Fifteen days done, seventy five left.
  7. TTT

    90 days

    Days 08, 09, 10: Addictive stuff: 08-two decaf coffees; 09-one dcoffee, one cider, another dcoffee; 10-one dcoffee. No games, no movies, very little internet browsing, no excessive reading, fairly good on all fronts. Should have avoided the cider, gotten dcoffee or water instead. Starting to feel a bit weird with all the restrictions. When I thing of carbs/temptations, I keep reminding myself about life in a gulag or concentration camp - the most restrictive diet I do is feasting compared to that. Intended riding the bike but didn't do it :( Big loss. Obviously fear. Some tech stuff done that I've been postponing for months/years, which was cool. Small yay. From tomorrow I'll try strictly only good food plus water (no dcoffee, tea, any alcohol whatsoever), will go hungry if no good food available. For one week (days 11-17). Also, minimum of 30 minutes of exercise, 60 if possible (on off-work days). Today: ride bike, continue with account change/all setup, check that projects website, get logics exercise book, do some kind of detailed plan for action. Tomorrow: ride bike, check insurance quote and get it if ok, class. Five minutes.
  8. TTT

    90 days

    Day 07: Listened to what I wanted to. Got up too late for breakfast. Work all day. Addictive stuff: Got a dark chocolate and fruit drink. A lot of sugar in these, but I couldn't get good food once at work. Avoided listening to unrelated things except for a good sleep clip. Daily stuff: done. Tomorrow: Ride motorcycle, install new OS, tinker with it, install thunderbird. Go through website for useful projects, morning shower.
  9. TTT

    90 days

    Day 06: Addictive stuff: had three teas with sugar, the third tasted nastily sweet. To reduce tea with sugar. Wasting time on that job. Wasting time with irrelevant stuff, in any way. Tomorrow: Finish the episodes of the podcast I've missed. Other industry stuff all day, no time wasting. Tie the rain cover, collect the parcel. Remember that every single day is a day that can be used well, or wasted. A day at my job is completely wasted, to make up as much as I can there.
  10. TTT

    90 days

    Day 05: Addictive stuff: had one decaf coffee, also small glass of wine at a pub (fine), partly avoided reading as a source of content but not fully, ate two packs of fruit again but still no confectionary. I need to make sure I don't use reading as a substitute for gaming. It can consume a lot of time, it gives a steady dopamine stream with new content and progressing page by page. Only read after more important things are done - B priority. Maybe even C. Going to bed past the intented time, but still a lot earlier than previous days. No time for motorcycle. Cycled a lot although I didn't feel like, which was good. Inbox is fine, although shabbily, class is done. Tomorrow: work, plus listen to finish the economist issue I'm on and the full current one. Listen to AI podcast. Go to sleep right after work.
  11. TTT

    90 days

    Day 04: Slept 10 hours till 1pm. I need to go to sleep earlier tomorrow. Did some reading and shopping. Managed to avoid getting too much carbs, although I ate all the fruit in one go. Get even less stuff next time. Did the todo system - just opened an org file. Read from the book, didn't overdo it, felt like the right amount for a day. Went through one inbox but didn't even touch the other. I hadn't seen any movies in a while, so I got one, but it worked a lot like a game - I did have unfinished things to do, yet spent two hours on something unnecessary and entertaining. From now on, only download movies if I've completed all tasks for the day, if it doesn't feel like I'm procrastinating by watching it. Also, didn't ride the motorcycle, rain was an excuse. Addiction-wise, one decaf coffee, teas, plenty fruit in one go but managed to avoid any other carbs, watched a movie when I shouldn't have. Do not procrastinate with movies, exactly as bad as games. Tomorrow: go to bed by 00:30, ride the bike if I have an hour in the evening, read from the book a bit, get a hard drive, sort out the first inbox completely, go to the class.
  12. TTT

    90 days

    Day 03: Slept a lot again. Did the meditation bit. Washed sheets. Cycled to the park, sat around for a while, wrote a bit. Can't say I did anything interesting, but at least I did something I had wanted to do. Rode the motorcycle around a bit, first time for weeks. I was hesitant but ultimately managed to convince myself to do it. "I'll either be stronger or weaker tomorrow, one or the other" was what did it. I hate the idea of being weaker tomorrow. All is fine with addictive things. One decaf coffee. I started making a lot of tea to replace the coffees. No interest in playing games. I'm thinking of confectionary but I think I managed to convince myself to not get anything for at least a while. I don't want the chemistry reliance from the games to be taken over by food, alcohol, coffee, internet, youtube, porn or sex. Started reading, which in a way works the same as the games - progress feels good, things are new and interesting. I need to limit that to the planned 50k words a week. The book is a classic and I'm sure it will be well worth reading, but I should not use it to prop me up chemically. Tomorrow - ride the motorcycle again, go through inboxes and sort them out, do a todo system yet again, read some of the book, get vegetables and fruits - few, to avoid bingeing. Still avoiding serious thought about work/career. Sort the basics out, then I'll get to this.
  13. About causes and symptoms - for me gaming is a symptom of not having other things to enjoy in my life. But I also think that games / addictions are the reason for me being unable to enjoy other things. So it is a symptom, but also the cause. Nothing else compares favourably to the amazing stories/worlds/challenges/companions of a game. Not in the current state of my brain, at least. So I hope I can rewire that, which will take time.
  14. Hey mansauce, one thing to try is play a compulsive little game called "Start -> Shut Down". Every time you are on the computer, if you touch the mouse or keyboard, you play the game. So every time you start the computer you have to shut it down. It's very silly, but it uses impulsivity to waste your computer time. After a few shut downs you'll probably be so annoyed by the computer that you don't press the Power on button for a while. Once you are sitting next to the computer staring at the power button and not really wanting to switch it on, try to write something or maybe clean/tidy one item in the room. Have a notebook and a pen handy and just write what you think. You may learn a lot about what you want, how you feel about things, what you are curious about.
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