Detox for an unaware 15-year old ?

[Dekanau]

Many of the stories and comments I read are by 17+ former game-addicts who have managed to get some awareness that there is or was a problem. Well done to you all! As a parent of a 15-year old boy who spends every minute of free time on a screen (mostly games such as Fortnite) and denies there is an issue with that, do I have to wait until he eventually tires out of gaming (in a couple of years, hopefully) and get a hold on it, or is there another way to create awareness about the negative effects now and in the long run. We try to engage him in other activities, with some success, but in the end, he always want to go back to gaming until I have to stop him, with the usual anger outbursts that follow. Do I have to wait with any kind of detox until he is ready and willing to participate? Is going cold turkey by taking away the computer a solution, all be it a drastic one because it leads to serious withdrawal symtoms? I would be very interested in hearing from parents or former gamers who have gone through or dealing with the same and how they managed to create awareness.

[Cam Adair]

Hi! Welcome to the forums. We have a parent section that will provide a lot more support for you on Facebook: http://gamequitte.rs/parentgroup

If you have a 15 year old you still have the opportunity to set more boundaries and limits now. It gets significantly harder when he's over 18. 

[JPAO]

As a 18+ individual I wholeheartedly agree with Cam's statement. When I moved out is when gaming first took over, and it forced me to move back home. And then it became a big point of conflict between my father and I, which sucks. 

[seriousjay]

The best way I can think of to handle this is to identify activities that your son can engage in that he both enjoys, but also creates a sense of pride, accomplishment and community for him. Music lessons, martial arts, summer camps are all things that might work. We naturally gravitate towards the things that make us feel good. Gaming offers that promise but never actually delivers on it. So it's important to involve him in activities that make him feel good about what he's doing long after he's stopped the activity.

Maybe sit down with him, organize a schedule and set some goals? Ask him about things he'd like to do that aren't games and then go about scheduling those activities with him. Find blocks of time that work for everyone, so that way he knows it's coming and there can be no excuses to not do them. You will probably meet some resistance at first; handle this compassionately. Ultimately he has to agree to anything on his own or it won't last very long.

Also, most importantly, don't actually take the games away. This will never, ever work. It will only create feelings of hatred within him. If you can both agree that he can continue playing games during certain hours, as long as he also participates in other activities, he will have to agree with you. Like I said, there will likely be some resistance to it at first, but I think he will come around.

The unfortunate thing about this kind of situation is that your son isn't even aware, most likely, of the damage he is doing to himself. If he's anything like me, he may wait until his 20's until he realizes he needs to change, and at that point it's extremely difficult. He's really lucky to have a parent that cares enough about him to try to do something about it. Best of luck!