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sirjk

I'm not sure what to do

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Hello friends, long time no see! I'm digging the new site, it looks so much more smooth now. You guys should be a dark theme as well :P

Anyways, I'm not doing too good, I thought collage would help me finally realize that gaming isn't needed in my life, and actually I was doing very well trying to keep clear from any over-moderate gaming but unfortunately finishing up the course, instead of looking for work or continuing to study within the area of computer science, here I am player 4-7 hours a day without a job. What the hell is wrong with me? I'm literally thinking to quit technology because it is the problem and it is all I've known. I suck at math, I have limited social skills and I'm very over weight and the problem is, I could just quit and put my time in these and master it. But, I'd rather go watch my and professional eSport Vods and play hours of video games for a high.

I'm trapped in my own head right now,

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Your brain is rationalizing because it wants that video game feel. If it helps I still struggle without playing. 

Getting rid of tech  dose not slove the problem but what you can do is limit it and it requires displine to do. 

I have some called no social media detox that normally due and basically no Facebook, YouTube, reddit, Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter, ect. For 4 day Monday through Thursday. 

Then on Friday I allow myself these sites. 

What im saying is get yourself a reward system that sort acts like game rewards you. 

The second is this quote I made last year “do you want leave life on pause or do you want press play on your life.” The choice is your and your alone, I can’t choose it for you only give the best advice I can. 

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Hey,

If you really can't get yourself away from videogames, maybe try taking a short timeout from tech. I'm going to spend a month off grid at a farm in the mountains. So that the only things to do will be working during the day and drawing or playing music in the evening - Working just for food and accomodation.
Getting yourself into a situation where you'll be forced to doing something different. Doesn't have to be a farm, just a new situation for you, without access to technology.

But as @zeke365 said, it won't solve your problem in the long term, just a little timeout to give you a little starting help.

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I have not been struggling with relapsing or the temptation to relapse but I have struggled with wasting lots of time online and personally I got a macbook a flip phone(a motorola razr v3) and a iPod and it's helped me not waste so much time online so maybe get a flip phone and a iPod and take some time away from computers 

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On 3/25/2019 at 7:41 AM, sirjk said:

"I'm literally thinking to quit technology because it is the problem and it is all I've known. "

I'm trapped in my own head right now,

Dude I can so relate. 11 years ago I had to remove my computer to face off with my demons. Later I put it at my friends house and played sparsely. Even now I feel cursed because I am technical minded and computers are my thing. Yet they are the gateway to escaping reality, abusing technology to get what I want. Sometimes I feel like I need to unlearn and let go of technology, yet I can't because I pay my bills by being a troubleshooter. 

I had to dump Windows OS because it is like a gateway drug to play games. Just being in the Windows environment stirs in me to kick back and play games. I been toying with other OSs, but I finally switched 100% Linux. I did game with it a bit but it doesn't stir me like Windows does. 

You are not alone bud and do whatever you have to do for yourself. Do let it make a slave out of you. 

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I stopped playing games for almost 1 year, and it changed my life from a sad suicidal 30yo virgin to living with a girl in our apartment 2 years later. After that I allowed myself to relax and enjoy my life and went straight back into gaming. Right now Im fighting my way out again, this time for life. Its not easy, my mind tells me I will miss a lot, with all the new games coming out, and those that I was waiting for. But fuck that. There are far more meaningful things out there in the real world than there are in the virtual one. It makes me sad that I am unable to play in moderation, and still advance in other things in my life. Videogames is a sacrifice I am making, to not feel good now, but feel much better in some years. 

I might come back to games when I am old and retired, but right now I will not spend one more minute doing it. Enough is enough. 

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On 3/29/2019 at 7:02 PM, willardorwud said:

 ... maybe get a flip phone and a iPod and take some time away from computers 

Love the flip phone idea ... thanks!!

Edited by dregardens
shorten the quote

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