For The Better Con's Journel

[ShadyCB]

7th Jan 2016

Tonight I'll be documenting my progress on not gaming and doing gaming related things. Instead I'll be replacing my usual gaming activities with something I should've done long, long time ago. And that is catching up with my education and finally sitting my exams. I'm not sure what kind of job I'm going to obtain once I'm done with education so I'm just focusing on changing my path in life for the better right now. Through this journey I hope to learn new things, ideas and techniques.

If there's one thing that I'm really terrible at, it's remembering what I've learned a couple of weeks later, heh. Let's work on that! But yes, today I realized I did relapse early hours this morning. It was supposed to be a 27 minute video about a new device. Instead, I reinstalled Steam and played a little. That's just it, right? A little. When I looked at the time it was already quarter to 4 in the morning. What felt like minutes was hours. And I felt really uncomfortable gaming again because of the high stress games cause me. Well, I now know to avoid it at all times.

[Cam Adair]

I'm just focusing on changing my path in life for the better right now. Through this journey I hope to learn new things, ideas and techniques.

This is exactly what you want to do. Control what you can control and let the rest go.

[Laney]

You're here and you keep coming back to read and post, just like I was before I made the commitment to quitting games! It's tough to go from "I'll just try to avoid games for a few days to see if I want to do this for real..." to "Yes! We're actually doing this and enjoying it. Sober feelz for real" My brain defended it's right to game pretty hardcore, my head hurt for the whole first week of being sober not really accepting that I wasn't gunna go back ever. In fact, I quit silently and didn't tell anyone until day two. I encourage you to do the daily journal especially during the first couple of days, and to be honest with yourself.

Feel free to grab this template a lot of us use and change it to fit your needs:

*Insert reflection of your day, or yesterday*

3 Things I'm grateful for:

One amazing thing that happened today:

What I could have done to make my day better:

What I will do differently tomorrow:

Edited January 8, 2016 by Laney

[ShadyCB]

You're here and you keep coming back to read and post, just like I was before I made the commitment to quitting games! It's tough to go from "I'll just try to avoid games for a few days to see if I want to do this for real..." to "Yes! We're actually doing this and enjoying it. Sober feelz for real" My brain defended it's right to game pretty hardcore, my head hurt for the whole first week of being sober not really accepting that I wasn't gunna go back ever. In fact, I quit silently and didn't tell anyone until day two. I encourage you to do the daily journal especially during the first couple of days, and to be honest with yourself.

Haha, that's funny "sober feelz for real" might have to make that my signature. darn, sounds pretty painful with a headache just from quitting!

I'm not really all too sure with what I can do, except for keeping you (really supportive) guys updated. I'll be waiting on some material to be delivered so I can start moving with my education, then I'll be saving up some money for participating in Airsoft. These are things that take me out the house and that's good, I guess heh. Thank you by the way! This template should be useful from now on. (when I found a way to implement it or something similar to it)

I'll have to come up with some things to note on in the journel, there's really no key points built in yet.

8/1/2016

I've took on quite abit of work for my driving lesson I had. It went really well, took my mind of gaming and allows me to pursue something small, yet it will help me later on down the road especially with applying for jobs and going to College. I've been keeping myself busy by browsing some videos on youtube involving comedy skits, documentaries and police shows. I'm looking at making some appointments next week for my health and looking at getting some equipment together for Airsoft and might hit a workout routine.

Although most of these are reserved for next week and the week after, it's a pretty good start considering, I think.

[ShadyCB]

9/1/2016

Been pretty lazy today. Saturday so I thought why not stay in bed and sleep the day off, heh. I have realized I'm alot more tired and able to sleep at night properly now compared to when I was gaming, for some reason I'm always so alert when I play games but now I have better restful nights.

3 Things I'm grateful for: Friends that I have who are in the same country as myself. The beautiful weather we've been having for a little while and still being young.

What I could have done to make my day better: Waking up at a different time, and although its the weekend I could still learn a new language just more passively until the weekend is over.

What I will do differently tomorrow: Wake up in the morning and re-learn quite a few bits of Korean.

Speaking of learning a new language, I've been pretty much banging my head against the wall for this one, heh. I have a fantastic app to practice the language with but I think for the first time in a long time I'm actually serious about getting it all sorted out now gaming is out of my way. However, during my gaming and poor times I somehow managed to learn the entire alphabet and recite it, so there's that.

감삽니다! Thanks!

[kortheo]

You're here and you keep coming back to read and post, just like I was before I made the commitment to quitting games! It's tough to go from "I'll just try to avoid games for a few days to see if I want to do this for real..." to "Yes! We're actually doing this and enjoying it. Sober feelz for real" My brain defended it's right to game pretty hardcore, my head hurt for the whole first week of being sober not really accepting that I wasn't gunna go back ever. In fact, I quit silently and didn't tell anyone until day two. I encourage you to do the daily journal especially during the first couple of days, and to be honest with yourself.

Feel free to grab this template a lot of us use and change it to fit your needs:

*Insert reflection of your day, or yesterday*

3 Things I'm grateful for:

One amazing thing that happened today:

What I could have done to make my day better:

What I will do differently tomorrow:

Hey Laney - I know that you had initially decided to keep playing single player RPGs - has that changed? Are you going totally game free, or still allowing some single player games?

[Laney]

 

Hey Laney - I know that you had initially decided to keep playing single player RPGs - has that changed? Are you going totally game free, or still allowing some single player games?

I think I've decided that for the detox I'll be going all games free.  After that I'll probably re inteoduce them. As I said, I'm not addicted to rpg's. And going through this I am more aware of the time I used when playing them. 

[Laney]

Cool! Korean! Love it. A big part of why you might not have been be able to fall asleep earlier with games is the bright screen + mental stimulation. Many of us on here suggest using f.lux on your pc for when you have to browse at night. 

[ShadyCB]

Huh thats interesting, I heard you guys talk about f.lux but I never really knew what it was. I'll install it tomorrow has I'm abit busy today, thank you for the suggestion, Laney!

I hope everyone is having a cool night tonight.

[RyanGQ]

*Insert reflection of your day, or yesterday*

3 Things I'm grateful for:

One amazing thing that happened today:

What I could have done to make my day better:

What I will do differently tomorrow:

This is awesome. I'm gonna make sure I start doing this.

Edited January 10, 2016 by RyanGQ

[RyanGQ]

Hey Shady! Awesome to see another new dude starting this journey. I myself have just passed the 30 day mark, and I have to say, it gets easier. And as it gets easier, you also start to feel better. Since I started, I've become more social (at least relatively, but I'm working on it!), more focused, and just generally more happy. As someone who played games since I was 3, it can be intimidating trying to just jump into all of this, but here's a few tips from me. Take them with a grain of salt, I'm just some dude on the internet. But hopefully you learn something from them.

1. If you have dreams of gaming, don't worry. They come and go, and it's not something that you can control. It happened to me multiple times already, and while they may be awesome and they may be tempting you to go back, realize that they're just a side effect of losing the stimulus you've been subjecting yourself to.

2. I noticed you said you were lazy today. Don't worry, I was too (then again, it's raining outside and I have no transportation so I can't exactly go out). You probably feel bored, eh? Well if you do, don't worry. Quitting games is the first step, finding other ways to fill your time is the second. And as hard as quitting games is, the second part is always going to be more difficult (at least until you're completely off of them, hopefully after 90 days). If you feel yourself having nothing to do, accept it, realize what it means, sit with the feeling, and move on. Don't let the urge of boredom reel you back in to gaming. There's no shame in having a bad day when you're going through something like this.

3. I'm sure you've already heard this if you've watched the videos that Cam has put out (and if you haven't, WATCH THEM), but don't look back on your time gaming as wasted time or something that you regret. They were a chapter in your life, and an important one, and just because you've chosen to move on doesn't mean you can't still feel good when you reminisce back on them.

4. Make it VERY, VERY clear to your friends what you're doing. Some of them are going to be supportive, and some of them aren't going to be. I myself was lured back into gaming only once over these past 31 or so days, and even though it was only for about half an hour and it was when I was with my friend at his house and not online on my own time, I didn't feel proud of it afterwards. Realize that some of your friends might start to feel animosity towards you, and if they do, it's just because you're changing, and that scares them. They probably feel the same insecurities you do, and they don't want you to move on and leave them behind. But realize that most people are only meant to be in your life for certain periods of time. Save your relationships and cherish them, if you can, with your gamer friends, but realize that maybe some of them are going to need to be cut off for you to truly create the lifestyle that you deserve. Also, don't attach your ego to being a "gamer", or anything outside of yourself for that matter. You are not the clothes you wear, or the amount of money in your bank account. What defines you as a person is how you treat yourself, and how you treat those around you. 

5. On the subject of friends, nurture your social circle and make attempts to grow it. Something I learned the hard way was that if you don't reach out to your friends, eventually, they will forget about you. I know it can suck being the one who's always going out of his way to set things up, but you can't expect anyone else to go out of their way to do it for you. Out of sight; out of mind. Remember that. It's hard work keeping a healthy social life going. And don't be afraid to reach out to people if you feel lonely, even if it's on here.

6. You're going to go through some tough shit. Everyone does. My dad basically just left the state without telling me, and my girlfriend dumped me, and this all happened around Christmas / New Years. I'm not looking for pity or sympathy, because I realize that everything bad that's happened to me has forged me into a stronger person, and I'm moving on the best I can and making strides to make every day a happy one, even if not extraordinary. But remember, if gaming was your crutch to avoid pain, loneliness, and discomfort (like it was for me), you have to give that up COMPLETELY if you want to grow as a person. 

7. Don't be afraid to try new things. Growth doesn't happen in the comfort zone. Fear sucks, but it's a sign that you're moving toward something greater. A lot of fear is irrational and absurd, and a lot of it can be traced back through evolutionary psychology. Remember that. You only live once. Don't fall into the fallacious trap of believing that any of us are making it out of this life alive. Your birth certificate is your death sentence, my friend. That girl you wanna go talk to? Go talk to her. The only thing worse than her spitting in your face is never knowing what could have been had you tried. Apply the same logic to anything, as long as it's not something stupidly dangerous.

8. Reach out to others on this forum. Don't try to convert your friends to quit gaming too, it's not worth it. You can only change someone so much that has no desire to change themselves. Realize that just by you taking this attempt to change, you're already on a better path than 99% of everyone else. Here on the forum, we're all in this together. I've seen some people's journals who have just given up, not even a week in. Quitters. Don't be a quitter. We're all in this together.

Finally (cam said this), make a game out of seeing how long you can go without gaming. Every 24 hours without playing a game is +1, and every time you go back to gaming (hopefully never, but you never know what could happen), make it a game to see how fast you can commit to quitting again. 

Hope this helped, good luck brother.

-Ryan.

 

[ShadyCB]

Thank you so much, Ryan! It will indeed be a tough change but I am looking forward to it. should be all the more interesting after a month of this, eh heh. I'm sorry to hear what happened during christmas/new years eve. Aboslutely horrible! I seem to have lost my magic with women nowadays though, haha.

Edited January 10, 2016 by ShadyCB

[gankylosaurus]

Hey, Shady. Looks like you and I (re-)committed to quitting games on the same day. I'll be watching you to make sure you don't slip up

It's just dawned on me that quitting gaming is kind of a game in itself. It has its own rewards (though they aren't immediately apparent) and every day there's a new challenge. Even if that challenge is the same as it was the day before. Mainly thought of this because of...

It's tough to go from "I'll just try to avoid games for a few days to see if I want to do this for real..." to "Yes! We're actually doing this and enjoying it. Sober feelz for real"

So yeah, we're here for you, man. Let us know if you're ever at a loss for what to do. I know firsthand that the worst thing to be is bored. Oh, and make sure you're replacing gaming with a better habit. Don't just end up using the Internet more with all your free time.

 

[ShadyCB]

So yeah, we're here for you, man. Let us know if you're ever at a loss for what to do. I know firsthand that the worst thing to be is bored. Oh, and make sure you're replacing gaming with a better habit. Don't just end up using the Internet more with all your free time.

 

Thank you! If it helps any, I'll have your back too. And speaking of all this sudden freetime, what do you usually do in terms of activities?

Just as a note aswell if anyone fancies learning a new language and need a buddy, I'll be happy to bud-up!

[ShadyCB]

10/1/2016 & 11/1/2016

Had a good day yesterday. Ate some dinner at lunch time which was very nice and stretching my legs, usually I'm in my bedroom playing games and would leave eating hot food for later near the evening or at night. The urges to game come and go; I never felt a gravity-pull though. I've managed to squeeze myself in for a driving lesson in two days from now because someone else canceled, how cool!

Unfortunately though my parents have plans to go to Germany this year and they're looking at buying a house of some sort in a city, eh. I'm trying to come to terms with myself, being honest if this is actually going to benefit me and what I honestly think about moving. Unfortunately as I'm still seen as mammy's little boy, even though being legally an adult, it can be tiring to explain why I wouldn't want to go. But I know it will be worth it. And unfortunately it seems someone might have an interest in me and as a result I had to change my passwords on all sensitive information sites (Paypal, etc) I hope it's just a one off thing.

I've watched a 2hr long episode of Miss's Browns Boys! Absolutely hilarious stuff and I can't recommand it more. Went out with my parents to get some food from McDonalds with the breakfest menu and singed my tongue with the hot tea, heh. Overall a good start to the day without gaming!

One amazing thing that happened today: Bonding slightly more with family members.

[Cam Adair]

Urges will continue to come and go. Try not to identify with them too much and instead use them as an opportunity to improve your emotional mastery. Keep going, this is only the beginning of an incredible new chapter of your life.

[ShadyCB]

Urges will continue to come and go. Try not to identify with them too much and instead use them as an opportunity to improve your emotional mastery. Keep going, this is only the beginning of an incredible new chapter of your life.

I agree! It's incredible. But I'm a sucker for Simulation games and especially those that take on the theme of emergency services.

[ShadyCB]

Finally some of my books arrived which are used for home-schooling, should start my lessons fairly soon! Things are going alright and the days seem to be getting easier and easier, although I've took a little-wittle peek for 1 minute exactly on a video of a game. apart from that I haven't had any cravings and my anxiety seems to have got alot more better.

Not really much to comment on during my day. I'm not particulary active all the time. I'm sorta bummed out though by the fact I failed to sort out my sleeping habits, though I won't let it ruin my day!

3 Things I'm grateful for: Positive attitude. Cricle of friends and new experiences!

One amazing thing that happened today: Positive attitude reinforced.

What I could have done to make my day better: Sorting out my sleeping habits, although they've gotton better I'm still sleeping fairly early in the morning.

What I will do differently tomorrow: Going to bed later at night rather then staying up all day.

[Cam Adair]

Which book are you starting with?

[ShadyCB]

Which book are you starting with?

Starting with the easiest thing first then get harder and go higher. Cam, do you have any tips for studying regarding memory?

15/1/2016

I've possibly had the best driving experience to date! Usually my instructor comes to pick me up and we have a ride around a good area for practicing driving skills but this time I managed to get onto our infamous roundabouts! If that wasn't exciting enough I also had the joy of driving in split lanes and a dual-carriage way. Overtaking a cyclist. heh, it was all good though. Unfortunately I've lost my taxi driver as I now have to drive myself when he arrives to pick me up. All in all, I was very happy with my result - to the point I was having dreams about it!

I found myself sometimes watching gaming videos, funny moments, that kind of stuff. I would say it's acceptable since it doesn't give me cravings but I guess I'll avoid all things gaming altogether for now.

[Cam Adair]

Which book are you starting with?

Starting with the easiest thing first then get harder and go higher. Cam, do you have any tips for studying regarding memory?

In what sense?

[ShadyCB]

In a sense of remembering certain details or passages. I have no issues with learning something new, but remembering it is very difficult for some reason, even after countless hours of repeated looking over at the material.

[Cam Adair]

In a sense of remembering certain details or passages. I have no issues with learning something new, but remembering it is very difficult for some reason, even after countless hours of repeated looking over at the material.

I don't know much about this particularly but I know Cal Newport has a lot of good content on studying.

[Ed]

In a sense of remembering certain details or passages. I have no issues with learning something new, but remembering it is very difficult for some reason, even after countless hours of repeated looking over at the material.

Are you writing down the things you need to remember?

 

I've had the same problem.  I can read something and understand it.  When I try to remember, it just vanishes.  I still wouldn't say I have a great memory.  But there are certain things I've learnt over the years that are just ingrained after using them so often.  For example it would be impossible for me to forget Ohm's law.  (V=IR)

 

One thing that can help you remember things is to write it down.  By hand.  Most people do not retain anywhere near as much if they only read over passages.

 

As Cam said, Cal Newport has some great content on studying.  As does Scott H Young (he taught himself an MIT computer science curriculum within 12 months).

I also highly recommend reading A Mind for Numbers by Barbara Oakley

[ShadyCB]

I usually do write things down I need to remember. But I'll be sure to chec kout Cal Newport and Scott H Young! Sounds very inspiring with teaching themselves.

I'm feeling the effects hard with no other activities to do. I don't have much in walking distance and my next driving lesson is 2 weeks away and I'm pretty sure I don't want to be studying every day and all the time because that will take its toll. Time to see what I can do!

Edited January 16, 2016 by ShadyCB