FireRanger Posted April 5, 2018 Share Posted April 5, 2018 Hey Everyone, So I heard Cam talking about game addiction on "Alberta at Noon" over a year ago. At the time I was interested in the conversation but didn't think I had a problem. Since that broadcast I have been slowly warming up to the idea that I do have a problem...and today was the first time that I told myself that I do. I really dont have a lot of time to game but when I do have any free time I'm always reaching for the controller, when I go away for work I always make sure I pack my xbox or PS so I can game my free time away...take a dent out of my massive library of accumulated games. I really realized that I use gaming to help me deal with the problems in my life...and I have lots. I have a daughter who was born with a physical disability and was only given 1 year to live and now I look back at all the time I cuddled up with her while she watched disney and I gamed out...I feel pretty guilty. There is strain in my relationship with my wife and family, a lot to do with the mental/emotional difficulty of having a child that is dying and I use gaming as a way to escape from those hardships instead of dealing with them head on. Its not that im not dealing with them i feel like maybe i'm only hitting the "flanks" instead of the front...which leads to things never really getting sorted out properly in my mind. Then there is the professional impact, I work in emergency management and before my daughter was born I would go all across Canada to help on incidents, but after she was born I was fortunate enough to get 18 months off work to have time with her. I have been back at work since late 2015 but my ability to go out and do what I love most at work is limited as I tend to stay close to home in case something were to happen to my daughter. I feel that is another thing that I use gaming to numb or soothe. This is the first time I have really broadcasted something like this for others to read...i had too much of a tough guy attitude before but i'm really looking for change and thought this to be a good first step. I dont want to use gaming as a comfort blanket anymore. For so long its been easy to escape and be the pro hockey player, commando, adventurer, pro driver, post apocalyptic renegade... I want to live in the moment, be happy and fulfilled in all aspects of my life that I feel gaming has distracted me from...so here it goes....thanks. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hitaru Posted April 5, 2018 Share Posted April 5, 2018 My deepest respect for you. In a situation like yours reaching out to your feelings and facing them will surely be really scary, you're making a truly brave decision and I'm sure you will find all the understanding and support from this community. Thank you for sharing. You're very welcome here. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dannigan Posted April 6, 2018 Share Posted April 6, 2018 Welcome Fireranger! Your story is very touching. It's healthy that you joined this community for detox support. You will only gain from this experience and be among people who understand. Take care and I'm looking forward to reading your journal. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cam Adair Posted April 6, 2018 Share Posted April 6, 2018 Welcome! So happy to hear that radio broadcast planted a seed for you. Glad you are here with us. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FireRanger Posted April 6, 2018 Author Share Posted April 6, 2018 Thanks everyone, spent yesterday reading other posts on the forum, read the first few chapters of Respawn. Haven’t built up the strength to officially “power off” yet but i’m working towards it and just posting on here yesterday felt like a huge relief. Yesterday when I was with my daughter in the evening as my wife was. out I focused on trying to do other things, watched a show with her and later I started a movie I had kept putting off to watch as I cuddled with her. Felt more in the moment for sure and thanks for all the responses to my post. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bugg Posted April 6, 2018 Share Posted April 6, 2018 Thank you for your honesty and for sharing your story, you are as the others have said, very welcome here, and we hope that you will find strength in this forum so that you may achieve your goals. I’ve been using Respawn too, just the last chapter to go which I hope to finish up this weekend, I’ve found it really helpful. I think it’s wonderful that you’ve been able to recognise this issue within yourself so that you may be able to spend more time with your daughter, that is a really powerful reason to give up/reduce your game time, I am confident that you will be able to overcome this. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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