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Iggy's Journal


superiggy
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Day 0. (When quitting a negative behavior, I don't like counting the first day: it's dangerous to fall into "fake quitting")

Allright. After a lot of lurking in here, I've decided to give this I try.

I've studied a lot about addiction, but I don't want to fall into the trap of getting overconfident or cocky. It's just intelectual knowledge. I might know many common traps and mistakes when trying to quit something, but that doesn't make me immune to them. So I'll be mindful and careful with that.

I'll start going through the Respawn content and I'll do my best to get this done. (I've tried it a few months back, but I wasn't really determined to achieve it).

I know for a fact the first 6-7 days will be easy peasy. I've done it many times, zero games for a week. But after that, it gets exponentially more difficult. I'll still be careful not to fail in the first week, but I want to remind myself to be particularly mindful after that initial period.

Quick reminder to myself: Deplete that motherfucking Delta FosB accumulated in your nuccleus accumbens. Fix that goddamn brain!

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Day 1. All good. Actually I haven't played games for something like 4 days. I uninstalled all my games a few days ago and I haven't played since. I've been incredibly productive today.

Quick reminder to myself: REMEMBER; I will eventually rationalize playing again, I'll make an excuse about how I can play in moderation. I have to be extremely careful with this. I don't want to play in moderation.

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Day 2. All good. Today I made sure I'm unsubscribed from any gaming-related content: Youtube channels, subreddits, etc.
I feel amazing. These past days without games have been incredibly productive. Before this, I wasn't even playing that much... but staying clean is not so much a matter of getting more free time, but rather, a cleaner, more focused brain.

Quick reminder to myself: REMEMBER. The trap is the temptation to play in moderation. Yes, it could be possible to do it, but I've decided to mitigate the risk and NOT try it. I do not want to play in moderation.

Edited by superiggy
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Day 3. All good. My best friend, despite knowing I'm taking a break from gaming, asked if I wanted to play some PUBG. He wasn't pushy, he was more like surveying if I wanted to play a little bit in moderation. I said No and that's it. It felt good. :D

I didn't tell him "I'm not gonna play EVER AGAIN", because... well... I know addiction mechanisms fairly well (at least, mine). :P I know false quitting. I know the trap of "getting addicted to say I'm gonna quit"I'm just gonna do my very best, trying to stay clean as long as possible.

I'm not gonna say I'll make it to day 90; but I definitely think I'll break my last streak of 7 days without games this time.

This time I have a few new, fresh tools:

1. The finnish concept of Sisu.

2. The inspiration from reading Ender's Game.

3. Deeper knowledge about addiction mechanisms (Delta FosB accumulation, reading a book about quitting smoking, re-reading The Addictive Brain, etc).

4. "Commonplacing", a really helpful technique to take my research on addiction to a new level; but also to keep it fresh and actionable.

5. Of course... Gamequitters content and community! :D I didn't leverage this last time I tried to quit games.

Quick reminder to myself: For a slight moment I thought of gaming in moderation. The thought is veeeery slowly starting to creep in. NO. I am 100% sure that I do not want to play videogames, not even moderately. And, most important of all: I know very soon I'll try to trick myself into believing "I can play with moderation". Don't fall for it.

Also, note to myself... Stop bitching and SELL YOUR FREAKING GAMING RIG. GOGOGO.

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Getting rid of your games/rig/console is tough I remember when I did it. It brings back all the memories you had of it in the past and all the good times you had. But once you do it gets better, for me when I did my head was filled with a level of both pride/uncertainty. The uncertainty will be there at first but once you start devoting more times to the things you want to do it goes away.

giphy.gif 

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Day 7. All good.

The book I'm reading about quitting smoking is hilariously relevant to quitting videogames (and possibly other addictions too).

Yesterday I spent some time planning some projects and goals for the next 3-6 months, and I realized that (for me) this is the most important resource for quitting addictive behavior. I can't remove games and simply leave a void in there. But I cannot fill the void with standalone activities that I deem "productive" either (I see this often in the forum... picking up an activity like learning a language, working out, etc — That is great, but, in my case, not enough). The void is just much bigger than that. So... what I need is a project I'm passionate about, something I can focus on at any time. Something I'll look forward to when waking up. If not a life purpose, at least one project I'm in love with.

I will do my best to keep this in mind every day, work hard towards my goals, and ideally, experience a state of Flow more and more often.

I'm thinking that quitting videogames for its own sake, is possible, but hard.

But devoting passionately to a project I'm truly passionate about, to the extent that I will barely have time or energy to play games... that seems more fulfilling, and also easier! ?

I realize this is not a magic solution, but might be a good approach to try. Focus more on what I'm adding to my life, instead of working hard at removing videogames. It's similar to improving your diet: It's highly recommended to add more healthy foods. You'll mitigate cravings, you'll feel less hungry, you'll feel better, etc., and junk food will have less and less appeal over time. Perhaps the same could apply here.

Edited by superiggy
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On 30/12/2017 at 2:08 AM, MPieterse said:

Getting rid of your games/rig/console is tough I remember when I did it. It brings back all the memories you had of it in the past and all the good times you had. But once you do it gets better, for me when I did my head was filled with a level of both pride/uncertainty. The uncertainty will be there at first but once you start devoting more times to the things you want to do it goes away.

giphy.gif 

+1 well said!

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11 hours ago, superiggy said:

Day 7. All good.

The book I'm reading about quitting smoking is hilariously relevant to quitting videogames (and possibly other addictions too).

Yesterday I spent some time planning some projects and goals for the next 3-6 months, and I realized that (for me) this is the most important resource for quitting addictive behavior. I can't remove games and simply leave a void in there. But I cannot fill the void with standalone activities that I deem "productive" either (I see this often in the forum... picking up an activity like learning a language, working out, etc — That is great, but, in my case, not enough). The void is just much bigger than that. So... what I need is a project I'm passionate about, something I can focus on at any time. Something I'll look forward to when waking up. If not a life purpose, at least one project I'm in love with.

I will do my best to keep this in mind every day, work hard towards my goals, and ideally, experience a state of Flow more and more often.

I'm thinking that quitting videogames for its own sake, is possible, but hard.

But devoting passionately to a project I'm truly passionate about, to the extent that I will barely have time or energy to play games... that seems more fulfilling, and also easier! ?

I realize this is not a magic solution, but might be a good approach to try. Focus more on what I'm adding to my life, instead of working hard at removing videogames. It's similar to improving your diet: It's highly recommended to add more healthy foods. You'll mitigate cravings, you'll feel less hungry, you'll feel better, etc., and junk food will have less and less appeal over time. Perhaps the same could apply here.

Really great insight!

A few weeks ago, I had the same insight as you did.

Now, the challenging part. What do you think you are good at? AKA: Your passion.

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@Kiki @indie_rok — My passion, and most important project right now, is addiction research. I've been studying, reading books, experimenting, creating products, etc. about overcoming addiction for a while now. And I'm getting deeper in it over time.

As one sub-project in this, I'm currently working on contributing to GameQuitters upcoming new resources, so I'm very excited about that.

I am convinced I have something unique to contribute to this field. I'm no formal scientist, but I read and research a freaking lot, and I have a very peculiar set of interests and skills. I think by combining cognitive psychology, philosophy, mindfulness, modern personal development, and other fields, a fresh perspective on overcoming addiction could be developed. And I'm working on it. :D 

I'm all about knowledge convergence. I'm not trying to discover anything amazing. I'm just trying to learn every single bit that humankind has discovered about addiction, and condense that knowledge a little bit, into something more clear and actionable.

Edited by superiggy
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