JoeFish 31 Posted December 12, 2017 Share Posted December 12, 2017 So a few of you may remember me from about 6-8 months ago, i completed a 90 day video game detox and it completely turned my life around but since then its taken a turn for the worse. Ive been a rock climber for not far off 7 years now and i have always been sub-par when it came to competing in the sport as there are people who start much younger. When i was still a gamer i got to the point when i almost quit climbing as i felt it was holding me back in the gaming world. Then one day in a fit of gaming induced anger i frantically searched the internet about how to quit gaming and i came across Cams videos. I watched nearly all of them in one night and in a moment of pure motivation i decided to quit gaming and focus all my efforts into climbing, soon after a girl who i knew became my girlfriend and i gained loads of new friends through her, life seemed to be going great. In the climbing world i soon got to a very high standard, higher than ever before and started to represent my county at national events. However after failing to make the UK team on 2 occasions i felt down and lost, id quit what i had known and been good at to take a shot at climbing. I felt all the stability in my life had gone, everything id trained for was worth nothing. Why did i ever quit gaming i asked myself? I started seriously thinking about my life choices, i spoke to one of my old gaming friends about it and they told me that i had done the right thing to quit gaming, but he missed playing with me. This made me feel guilty and i couldn't stop thinking about all the friends id left behind. As if on queue a few days later, my girlfriend at the time told me she had cheated on me on multiple occasions and that she wanted to end the relationship. Through that i lost nearly all my new friends and i really did feel lost. I sunk into a depression and didn't know what to do. The next day i went into college and the gaming friend who i mentioned before knew what had happened. He sympathised with me massively and joked that i should play games with him again cos he missed me carrying him on csgo. That night i went home and i felt like i had nothing to do, so i made one huge mistake and opened up csgo. For the last 2 months now ive been played csgo non-stop and i have reached the same standard that i was at before, maybe even better. Further i have joined a semi-pro csgo team called dragonite, we have a sponsor in the UK called adata and we play in LAN and online tournaments. It didnt really occur to me that i had relapsed until the other day when i suddenly felt a huge wave of guilt. I saw an advert for a cam adair video and i couldn't stop thinking about what i had done. I really want to just live a normal life but every time i try, video games just find their way back into my life somehow. I am signed onto a dragonite now and its the best community feeling that ive ever had but all i can think about is that i should be living normally. I need some help to quit again but i dont know where to look. I feel trapped in the world of gaming and i have no escape. I dont have any friends who dont play video games so it is really difficult for me to avoid the subject in basic conversations. Its like my life cant continue without gaming. I need a way out but i cant find one, thrusting myself into the dark didnt work last time and i dont think that it will again. I wish i could change and i really do want to,but my brain doesnt. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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