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Fern

Hi :)

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Hey everyone,

I posted my first journal yesterday but realized this morning I hadn't made an introduction yet. So here it is - I'm 25, a self-employed freelancer living in Canada. I'm from the US but in the process of getting my permanent residency up here, yay! I won't go into the horrible details of my life choices, but essentially I gave about the last 6 years of my life to gaming. I'm talking really bad, like evictions, not working, relationships falling apart, just... complete loss of touch with life in general. The apex of that was about three years ago, when I actually started my attempts to stop gaming after moving to Canada. Since then I've been a bit more stable, been living in one place for the last three years and keeping up with work for the most part (except for when I fall into a gaming period). I keep slipping back into gaming though, having blips where I slip up and let myself go back to it for varying periods. I've lived in this one place for three years and hardly even know anyone because my focus on gaming has caused me to be extremely shy and nervous about in person interaction. And really, if I take a step back and look at it, I haven't put my passion into anything like I did with gaming, I've just been half-doing my way through life without ever doing anything I really would love to do or accomplish.

But, for the positive, I know change is possible. I come from a really crappy background and survived that, so I know I'm strong. I quit smoking and biting my nails, so I know that positive change is possible. My mistake in the past has been 'quitting' gaming while not changing my life at all, always leaving room for it. Not this time, this time I'm doing this and also participating in local community recovery meditation groups, to both keep me accountable and start me on the path to being better at socializing. I'm also filling my time with a local writing course and Martial Arts so I'm not just sitting at home open to 'appealing' distractions so much. No more room for gaming, I'm filling up that hole with all the things I've always actually wanted to do and be. I don't want to give anything more of me to gaming, I've already given it way too much. 

Happy to be here and looking forward to being part of this great community. :) Here's to starting the journey!

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Hi Fern, it's great to see someone new. I'm also not good at socializing, but I hear a lot of good things about Canada. I hear people are really friendly in general so you might have an easier time getting along with people, and it's probably a great idea to get permanent residence there.

I can vouch that writing is a great way to "distract" from gaming. Great idea with the writing course and Martial arts, looks like you're on the right track to get off the gaming bandwagon.

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