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Zeeko

Relapse :(

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Hello all.

I have attempted the 90 day detox twice now and have relapsed twice now. The second try was worse than the first.

Its far more upsetting for me when I did this in the face of such support I received at the time... 

I realize that there were two main reasons why I relapsed. I couldn't find other things to fill in the huge gaping hole gaming fulfilled for me. It mainly served as a social instrument and a time filler.

I tried alternatives, for example I'd want to read a book but feel discouraged that I was tired and didn't want to invest enough mental effort when it was late afternoon. I'd want to see friends but I don't have too many and I live far away to conveniently meet people. Everything constructive felt like it required that extra mile while gaming was at the tip of my finger. 

But things have changed. I have been offered a job in Sydney which requires me to move away from my family and live independently. Its both an exciting and daunting prospect. Suffice to say, I can't go the way I've been going anymore. It simply isn't an option if I want success. I'm terrible with organisation and I reading a book to improve that (forcing the mental effort). But I feel the withdrawals immediately, clawing at my mind to just let go. 

Hopefully the third time is the charm. I know i can do this and will do my best!

Thanks all.

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I realize that there were two main reasons why I relapsed. I couldn't find other things to fill in the huge gaping hole gaming fulfilled for me. It mainly served as a social instrument and a time filler.

Thanks for sharing and good job figuring out why you relapsed! That means you can work on those specific area's and go forward from there. Going to a new place might be a great chance to find new, close-by friends to fill the social void and exploring that new place could well serve to fill your time. Good luck with your new job!

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As long as you realize why you relapsed and take the steps to make it right, it's all good. One way to make the relapsing harder is to have goals beyond the detox. Specially a life goal, a vision of your life. This will make the detox simply a step (of many others) of the road to achieve a meaningful life.

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All the cool kids live in Sydney mate!

I feel your frustration with it being a lot of effort to catch up with people. I have virtually given up on it, but one thing @Cam pointed out to me was that you don't have to catch up with them in person to be social with them. I now try to skype or call someone new every day or when I really feel a bit isolated. Have you also tried audiobooks instead of reading? You might find you can get through content faster and you can still listen even if you're tired.

And when you move to Sydney, travelling does not become any easier!

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I second Audiobooks as being a good alternative to actual reading when you're tired. And with those you can even go for a walk and just go relax somewhere away from home. But changing your environment in a big way is perhaps what you need to get that extra motivation to quit. Keep trying, as many times as it takes!

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