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NEW VIDEO: I Quit MMOs and THIS Happened


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Sorry for my bad English but this is very important to me and i want to share my experience to our stopgaming community. I am sitting right now in front of my computer and drinking beer and listening Quiet's Theme - Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain. A moment ago i deleted my origin, ubisoft, steam, facebook account, my entire online identity and downloaded stuff. Today I stopped this terrible life. Wake up, walk, then computer playing stupid games and downloading torrent which i cant use all of them. Then comes pornography and this is just terrible circle. PLAY, DOWNLOAD and Pornography.

Some background why i developed this "protection from life." I am 25 years old male with master degree. I am little bit fat and from young age i was psychologically mistreated. Exactly: You are fat, we hate you, leave us alone, you are weak faggot, you are not part of us. My family (these days we are fine) was not always supportive. My mom only yell at me that i cant do everything good, why did you get 2 mark (grade ?) why not 1, simply you cannot do everything at all. My father has never been to me bad or he didnt beat me. But he never spend time with me. I feel alone from third class. Middle school was little bit better. I found some friends, going to parties, disco but i never been myself. I must fake my personality(introvert) because i feel that i am not enough. At university it was terrible. I was not able to find any friends. I did not believe them a i tought that they will be hurting me some way. So that strong emotional pain was very bad.(I was empty) I escaping from it with drugs(ganja), obsessive masturbation with porn, overeating, playing stupid games. And i made this is big mistake!: I ignored my little sister. When she was alone and crying i wasnt her big brother, her support. I was alone in dark front of the computer wanking, play games and downloading torrents. Fuck man that hurts. Main problem for me is my attitude to life, bad priorities, lazy AF, very comfortable person and bad relation to myself. In past i wanted kill myself and end this misery but i am still alive because i love my little sister and i dont want leave her alone in this f world.

I am going to change. Soon I will write my progress.

I started read books again. I have master degree from political science so it not surprise that i am reading right now Samuel P. Huntington's Clash of Civilizations. I am really mad on TV programs, films, tv shows or news. They are full of crap. When i say i hated it i mean man when i sit in front of Tv iam nervous AF. Finally its time doing stuff that i always want to do. Read, learn English, go for a walk, spend some time with my family, play chess. I want to be alone this time. I dont want muscles or woman right now. Its important to love myself and be good to myself. Its perfect feeling when you dont have this big burden on your shoulders and finally i can breath fresh air without anxiety. I started this fight sooner so my mind is not totally fucked up. This dopamine thing is very interesting because even normal people with perfect life background can totally give in gaming, porn, alcohol, social media whatever.

This was written 4 month ago on reddit. From that day i learned something about me and my live. I quoted this because you will better understand me and my problems in life. 

I was unemployed before but today i am on my graduate practice in brazil corporation and soon i will know if they hire me. I feel better know and i want to share what i have done up to now.


- I read books about men, what does it mean do be a man and i found simple truth. Accept your self and your good and bad sides. You are good enough and people will love you even if you are bald, fat, not successful or whatever. Love your self, tell yourself that you are good enough, simply said i love you! It works because with love come responsibility. If i love myself i will do everything to feel better, be better. Its not about beeing successful but be complete. Do what you always wanted, draw, run, listen music, go for a walk, be silent and talk to your self, learn how to make pizza, music, web etc. I am proud to be a man ! 


- I registered on site headspace.com. Headspace is website i used for meditation. Its enough to meditate just 10 minutes per day.  After 10 minutes i feel better, more persent, thankful and i train my brain to be more focused and its good to getting rid of all the dirt.


- I started learning english in webiste called Duolingo. I spend there alemost 1 hour every day. I dont know how to speak english very well or you see that my grammar is catastrophe but one day i will use english flawless


- Exercise. Every day i make squats, push ups and lifting legs. I go hiking and cycling often.


- Start with baby steps. When you want read book set your goal on minimum. For example one paragraph then pause. Repeat. Its very powerful tool so its important to start with small steps.


- If you fail, relapse and play games again or whatever you simply dont be angry on yourself ! Dont feel bad about this. Just say ok a made mistake a must go, I have to do what's right and good for me. I am good person, i love my self, iam good enough ! Its that simple ! If you feel bad or some sort of pain of your fall its not good because that mix make strong connection and this behaviour will be repeated.


Choose love not fear. I came on this forum because i have one thing in my life that is not satisfied. I have not any friends. Yeah its true, classmates and my friends are gone. I feel lonely sometimes, so i am here feel free pm me :)

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