Hello all

[Orior]

Hello everyone, first off I'd just like to apologise for any formatting errors, literally first time posting anything like this.

Into the nitty and gritty; I'm 25 years old and have been playing video games since I was 5 years old. My father brought home a NES one day for us kids, funnily enough I remember my mother saying along the lines of "why'd you buy this, they'll get addicted." Oddly enough at the time she was not wrong, I played every day after finishing my homework and this progressed well into high school. I must add in I did have ears that stuck out a lot, so I was constantly harassed and bullied about it. This led to escaping reality through video games, a common behavior I believe amongst many of us. Anyway through high school a group of friends began playing Runescape and WoW to which no surprise I eventually got hooked into for the various dynamics which Cam states are in video games. I somehow managed to maintain a somewhat normal social life but school grades tanked greatly. I had an operation for my ears which I thought would fix the problem of being harassed but the scars of that bullying remained and so did the gaming. It's odd because I didn't think I had a problem at that point, it just felt like a normal thing. This was compounded by the fact my parents are very passive and did not give any guidance or even object to me doing what I did. There was also a lot of issues at home which led me to further engrossing myself in games.

University began (I scraped through somehow) and it actually became easier to deal with gaming since I was so busy, however when I got home from Uni or my part time job I would game until 2-3am and get up early for the next day. Let's just say it was a struggle maintaining that lifestyle. I had a girlfriend at the time also but due to my socially awkward nature growing up we eventually broke up, and that's where it got bad. By this time I stopped playing WoW and began playing League. I played ranked as I wanted to be known as a good player and achieving a high level, in retrospect for self esteem and self worth issues due to the break up. Looking back I had not learnt anything about coping mechanisms and gaming was the only source for burying problems. This continued for a number of years and my grades at uni suffered a lot, I was handing in assignments late, wasn't attending classes and sleeping / eating poorly. I was active in  work, sport and gym at this time too, maybe these activities saved me from full blown addiction. During this time I started Nofap and didn't game for 3 months, it was the happiest I had ever felt in my life and now I am aiming for that state plus more. I got another girlfriend and the gaming came back due to boredom and problems there, but that is over now and I am 100% committed to quitting gaming and nofap. I am into self development and learning and have been since the first girlfriend, I have developed my character a lot within that time frame. However I feel like I am so close to breaking out from everything and achieving something great but I need to remove the crutch of gaming and then I believe I'll be ready for the next set of challenges.

Thanks for reading, I appreciate it

[giblets]

Welcome Orior! Thanks for opening up, you have a very moving story. You've come to the right place!

[Schwing]

Keep it up man! What's you name on nofap? Mine is the same here: Schwing.

If you have a journal there already I find it's great to copy and paste it around.

[Revolutionary Thinker]

What are you working on though passion wise or career wise? 

[Cam Adair]

Love your post Orior! Thank you for sharing, and I'm so glad you're here on the forums with us.