Day 8 - Courage,

 

Today I managed to complete the challenge. Completing it was easier than I thought. As I didn't manage during lunch time, I made a break at work at 16.00 and went around my workplace to see if I could spot anyone. I saw a girl and I liked her and decided to stop her. I stop her and told her that I found her scarf nice, which in fact I did. I didn't expect she would react like she did. She smiled at me and said, it was her favorite. However I did not realize it at once. I was so preoccupied to do it right that I forgot to do the key thing in conversation, to listen. When she finished I just complimented her again, and said she had a nice combination and nice taste. That is all I trained to say, not very spontaneous, but I needed to know what to say to deal with the anxiety before hand. She thanked me and both parted. Coming back to work I was happy because I took the courage to do it. At the same time I was unhappy because I didn't listen to her and if I was listening the conversation might have been longer, I could have picked  up her line at once and maybe she would have had a different impression of me. My criticisms and perfectionism entered the room and didn't want to let me enjoy the fact that I completed the mission. It seems that it is never good enough. I tried to close my eyes and realize what I just did. Okay it could have been better, but definitely that was not the point of the challenge. I did what I was supposed to do and I should be happy and proud about it. That is the part my focus should go on, but sometimes I do struggle with self criticism. It is something I definitely needs to learn how to deal with.

Edited November 25, 201510 yr by Miguel

Hey Miguel. I definitely relate to the difficulty in making choices sometimes. What I've found is that it's similar to going swimming in a pool.

When you are going into a pool, you have two choices:

You can either dip your toes in, in which case the water feels cold and you slowly dip more of your body in, being cold the whole time, until your whole body gets in and then you finally warm up... or may you don't even get in because the water is too cold when you dip your toes in

OR

You can run in and JUMP in, your whole body submerging and although you are cold for a second, after that you're warm and having fun in the pool.

So sometimes, you just have to make a choice. It doesn't have to be perfect, and if you make one choice and it doesn't work out, you can always go make a different one. For example, you can choose to go see a movie at a theatre, and if it's bad, you can just leave and go to a different one. Etc.

When it comes to your courage mission:

GREAT JOB! Remember what I have shared about celebrating your small wins. Yes, you could have improved for sure, but now you will remember that more for the next time. But before you can even have the opportunity to listen in a conversation, you have to start it just like you did. So good job, be proud of yourself, because that will encourage you to do it again, whereas if you beat yourself up for not doing better, it will discourage you.

Focus on encouragement, one step at a time.

Hey Cam,

 

 

You won’t believe man, this idea of the swimming pool came to my mind one or two months ago (and I thought I have reinvented the wheel, man, is so difficult to be a creator in the 21 century! ) I had the idea after swimming in some very cold lakes around the German Alpes. The water was quite cold, but the  mission was to enter in every lake we stopped by. As you said, I would put my toes in and create courage to get going. But at certain point, normally when water was around my waist, I would stop there unable to go forward or backward. If I continued forward the water would reach my back, which for me is the most unbearable part of the process of getting into a cold lake. I feel cold only thinking about it!  The same thing would also happen if I thought about jumping. So I didn't want to go forward. But I didn't want to go back either. First because I already made that far, I couldn't go back and lose all  the mind work I have to do to convince myself to get into the water in the first place. Second, if I got out I would still be cold, so better cold inside than outside. But then I was stuck there, with water to my waist, unable to move. That is exactly what happens with me when choosing. I am hit by a paralysis and I cant go forward or go back. I am stopped by my thinking trying to decide what to do, and in the end I cant do anything. 

 

 

The thing is, for the lake, as for the pool, you are right, once you are in you can have a lot of fun. All the lakes we tried I finally got in, and it was amazing, and gave me a different view from the places we have been. It was clear to me that once the water was on my waist, there was no way back, I would eventually get in. It was already decided. But still I would struggle and in all occasions I needed ten to fifteen minutes to really dive in. As you said, if I had jumped at the beginning I would have ten to fifteen minutes more to enjoy, and less time to struggle. Writing to you now I am realizing that maybe what I need to do is to shift my focus. If I had centered my thinking on the fun instead of focusing on the short time of uncomfortable cold, things would be easier I guess. And I think the same  reasoning can also be applied for making choices. Maybe instead of focusing on any discomfort I should focus more on what I want out from the choice I am making. That might help me to jump when I am tending to struggle. Is definitely something I want to try out.

 

 

Regarding the self criticism, you are right, I should take step by step. It is just that sometimes it seems to me that any improvement appears to be so small near to all things I need to work on. But is clear that thinking like that wont help me. Breath in and breath out. The small steps are the ones that will keep me walking, and I agree I should be proud for taking them. And I am. There is no need to rush, after all Rome wasn't built in a day!

 

 

Really appreciate your help and valuables insights. Thanks!

Edited November 25, 201510 yr by Miguel

Day 9 - Courage,

 

Today's challenge was somewhat easier. I am definitely not that much Brazilian when it comes to dancing, but it was fun doing it .  I definitely will do it again, but next time without taping it, of course!

 

The link is below. I just checked it and it was muted due to copy rights issues. But it may be it is just happening here, Germany is a bit more conservative regarding to songs on youtube. Just try it out. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rmBPh-_75s8

Yes, exactly! Focus on what you want from the choice you are making.

Haha awesome video... especially because everything is muted.

awesome video... especially because everything is muted.

 

I was quite surprised, they muted it within 30 minutes after I have posted it there. Didn't know that could happen!

 

Just changed it, now it has a rights free music. It is not the song I used, but it is better than mute!

 

Edited November 26, 201510 yr by Miguel

Day 10,

Wow one third of the challenge is gone. Looking forward to see what comes next.

I was really surprised by todays mission, I never singed in a karaoke and I think that might be fun. I am planing to do it tomorrow. Let's see what happens!

 

Can't wait to hear how it goes!

Day 11 - Discipline,

 

@Cam - I should have guessed where all this talk about cold water was leading to!  

 

Just after reading today's mission I thought, Is Cam serious? Really? With temperatures going around 0, an ice cold shower is not what I have in mind for a perfect morning! 

 

My second thought was, man, why did I start this challenge just now, I should have done it during summer, by then the mission would be much easier! But then I thought, man, if you cant stand the hot get out of the kitchen, which in my situation can be translated to - Man, if you cant stand the cold water, get out of the shower! I changed my thoughts about the winter to give it a positive turn - it is harder to get a cold shower now, you definitely need more will power to do that. That is good because if I am able to do it I should be even more proud of myself. I decided to get in.

 

I have to say the head first method was scary. I did start throwing a bit of water on my feet so I could feel how cold it was. Guess what, it was damn cold! It dint help much. The thing is, if I really wanted to complete this challenge, there was no way around it. I dived in, head first.

When taking the shower I realized that the water was not that cold, and it was actually warming up. Too good to be true. Out of habit I opened the warm water, not the cold. I changed it and was able to complete the challenge. 

 

I think it is too early to talk about the effects it had on my discipline, I couldn't notice anything special. However, it did have a very positive effect on my energy. I was the whole day alert and active, even after lunch when I normally struggle being sleepy. Taking this in consideration I am even thinking to take the bonus mission and do it for a month. Let see what happen.

 

Hey Miguel, welcome to the cold shower club

I started taking cold showers around four years ago and never stopped. It's one of the habits I love the most. Even when I don't feel like it, I do it anyway and always end up happy that I did.

Haha it's cold shower time!

I started taking cold showers around four years ago and never stopped. It's one of the habits I love the most.

 

Four years!! That is a huge number, well done man!!

 

Nice to see that is actually possible to keep doing it for a long time. Lets see how long I last!

 

 

Edited November 27, 201510 yr by Miguel

Updates,

I finally finished my vision board, pic is below. I am sure it could be a bit more ambitious, but I decided to start small.

I am going home by the middle of December. One problem I always have there is that I end up being bored, without much to do, which leads me to play. I don't want follow the same circle again. So I decided to think before hand what I want to do there to spend my time in a more productive way. When the vision board mission came I thought it was a nice exercise to figure out the activities I had the interest doing there. Here is the list:

1 - visit the old city of Rio de Janeiro - I have been to Rio once but not to the old city. This time I want to take two or three days to have a look around.

2&4 - Near my hometown there are two attractions that I would like to visit. One is a natural history museum, which contains many fossils that were found in the region. I also would like to visit a place called "horizonte perdido" (lost horizon). I first heard about it this year and I instantly felt in love with the view. 

3 - This picture describes three things at once. First one, I want to keep working on my comfort zone. I could even try to do some of the challenges with the people there. I want to be more open and take more advantages of the opportunities. Second, I want to do paragliding once, and I thin beautiful scenery of Rio de Janeiro would be perfect for that. Third, I would like to keep working with my German. I want to read and watch news in German, so I don't get too rusty.

4 - I enjoy cooking and I want to take this time to try out some recipes. I also want to cook to my family and friends some of the stuff I learned here.

5 - I want to read two books while I am there. 

6 - I want to keep on with my meditation habit. 

7 -  I want to spent quality time with family and friends

8 - In my city they have a nice christmas light event occurring every year. I planed to attend many times but didn't manage. This year I want to go there.

 

That is it. I know it is quite simple but I think it can help me to stay clean while I am there. I will definitely work on some more ambitious ideas for the 2016 board. I will post that here once is done!

 

 

Miguel, the Christmas lights look really nice!

I do miss German Christmas markets with mulled wine... ;-)

Vision board looks fantastic!

I do miss German Christmas markets with mulled wine... ;-)

Hi Florian,

I completely understand you. It definitely add another dimension to the Christmas season. Once you get to know, it is hard to live without!

 

Edited December 1, 201510 yr by Miguel

 

Day 12 & 13 -

 

yesterday challenge (12)

Love the idea to exercise in 7 minutes. Is such a short period that there is no excuse to that. Now I just have to check out some of the exercise which I am not sure if I am doing it right. 

 

todays challenge - (13)

This one is so true to me. I definitely suffer from the do-it-later syndrome. I am always postponing something that I wanted to do, that I thought I should do, or that I promised to someone. Those things will hunt me for a long time. I was aware of this problem before and I decided to write down some stuff that I was postponing in my white board. I thought it would be a nice idea to actually see those things. Seeing them there help me to work on them because if I have any free time, I can look to the white board and choose one to work on. It is a continuous reminder. However what I put there was just a part of it, and taking 15 minutes to create a list made me aware of many other things I need to work on. The list helps to direct my action to stuff I want to do. 

Day 14 - Discipline,

 

Today's challenge wasn't new to me. Since  I stopped playing, 74 days ago now, I started meditating one hour per day, mostly everyday. I was meditating even before that, since June, but  I was not taking it seriously. I think that committing to the meditation is one of the majors routine that is keeping  me way from gaming.

I was first introduced to it during a course I did last June. It was a 10 days meditation course in which I had to be disconnected from the world, i. e. no computer or cellphone. I also could not speak with anyone for the duration of the course. The course was intense and by the end of it I had meditated approximately 100 hours - around 10 hours a day. 

 I have to say it was not relaxing nor was it easy. I needed a lot of will power to stay until the end, specially because I was not used at all to be siting cross legs for the whole day. Although I did not see much difference there, I was able to see it once I was back to normal life. It made me more aware of my feelings, it made me more conscious. I liked the results and decided to do it at least one hour a day. 

The technique I learned there is called Vipassana, and basically consists on the observation of body sensations. I did it in one center here in Germany but I know they have centers all around the world. For those interested you can check the following link: 

https://www.dhamma.org/en/about/vipassana

Looking forward for the midway challenge!

 

Great job Miguel! Your attitude towards Day 13 is something to notice. You had the attitude of "how can I apply this in my life" and then you took action. Continue to do this over time and you'll be very successful. 

Hey Cam,

 

Thanks for the advice!

 

 

Day 15 -

 

What I am afraid of:

 

I am afraid of heights

 

I am afraid of rejection

 

I am afraid of confrontation

 

I am afraid of failing

 

I am afraid of not being perfect

 

I am afraid of taking risks

 

last but not least, I am afraid of frogs! 

 

Somehow I didn't manage to find ten things I am afraid of. I put seven here, but I am sure there are many more, I am just not able to remember them now. 

 

From this list, the one that definitely needs more attention are my fears to frogs. There are two many of them here in Germany! Not really!  

 

A mission that I want to complete is paragliding. This would help me to face my fears of heights. To complete the mission I have to check for a company, get the information I need, schedule the day and go for the jump. I want to do this now in December. Lets see what happens.

Paragliding sounds amazing!

Before diving in todays topic, I want mention something. I liked yesterday mission because to me it was about thinking about my problems, and coming up with a strategy to deal with them. I listed many things I am afraid of and decided to face my fear of heights. However, I think some of the fears I mentioned need more urgent care. Today I had an idea that can work for my fear of taking risks. I think that enrolling in a course of improvisation might help to solve it, because in improvisation one needs to take risks all the time. In addition it may also improve my social skills making me more confident and more espontaneous. This year I saw something on the university here but didn't dare to try because it was in German. But now if I think about it, this was probably more of a excuse that a real reason to not do it. I want to do it next round and it is going to be in my vision board for the next year.

 

Day 16 - Social intelligence,

 

Today's challenge was very interesting. It is amazing to see how something that you normally don't pay much attention, at least not consciously, make such a huge difference in the social level. Many times I wondered why I was not able to make rapport and have a nice conversation. Today I might have found an answer, I guess I was using to much of seeking rapport tune. It was nice to realize that, it made me conscious of the problem and now I have the opportunity to improve it. Thanks Cam, once more!

 

If you are curious about my recording, you can hear it in the file attached. This was my third tentative after the first recording. Be aware it is far from good, but for sure it sounds better than the first one.   

Default_letter-day-one.mp3

Edited December 3, 201510 yr by Miguel

Improv will be fantastic for you... and it will also help you with your social skills for sure. Can't wait to hear how you enjoy it.