Miguel

Before diving in todays topic, I want mention something. I liked yesterday mission because to me it was about thinking about my problems, and coming up with a strategy to deal with them. I listed many things I am afraid of and decided to face my fear of heights. However, I think some of the fears I mentioned need more urgent care. Today I had an idea that can work for my fear of taking risks. I think that enrolling in a course of improvisation might help to solve it, because in improvisation one needs to take risks all the time. In addition it may also improve my social skills making me more confident and more espontaneous. This year I saw something on the university here but didn't dare to try because it was in German. But now if I think about it, this was probably more of a excuse that a real reason to not do it. I want to do it next round and it is going to be in my vision board for the next year. Day 16 - Social intelligence, Today's challenge was very interesting. It is amazing to see how something that you normally don't pay much attention, at least not consciously, make such a huge difference in the social level. Many times I wondered why I was not able to make rapport and have a nice conversation. Today I might have found an answer, I guess I was using to much of seeking rapport tune. It was nice to realize that, it made me conscious of the problem and now I have the opportunity to improve it. Thanks Cam, once more! If you are curious about my recording, you can hear it in the file attached. This was my third tentative after the first recording. Be aware it is far from good, but for sure it sounds better than the first one. Default_letter-day-one.mp3

Day 15 - What I am afraid of: I am afraid of heights I am afraid of rejection I am afraid of confrontation I am afraid of failing I am afraid of not being perfect I am afraid of taking risks last but not least, I am afraid of frogs! Somehow I didn't manage to find ten things I am afraid of. I put seven here, but I am sure there are many more, I am just not able to remember them now. From this list, the one that definitely needs more attention are my fears to frogs. There are two many of them here in Germany! Not really! A mission that I want to complete is paragliding. This would help me to face my fears of heights. To complete the mission I have to check for a company, get the information I need, schedule the day and go for the jump. I want to do this now in December. Lets see what happens.

Hey Cam, Thanks for the advice!

Day 14 - Discipline, Today's challenge wasn't new to me. Since I stopped playing, 74 days ago now, I started meditating one hour per day, mostly everyday. I was meditating even before that, since June, but I was not taking it seriously. I think that committing to the meditation is one of the majors routine that is keeping me way from gaming. I was first introduced to it during a course I did last June. It was a 10 days meditation course in which I had to be disconnected from the world, i. e. no computer or cellphone. I also could not speak with anyone for the duration of the course. The course was intense and by the end of it I had meditated approximately 100 hours - around 10 hours a day. I have to say it was not relaxing nor was it easy. I needed a lot of will power to stay until the end, specially because I was not used at all to be siting cross legs for the whole day. Although I did not see much difference there, I was able to see it once I was back to normal life. It made me more aware of my feelings, it made me more conscious. I liked the results and decided to do it at least one hour a day. The technique I learned there is called Vipassana, and basically consists on the observation of body sensations. I did it in one center here in Germany but I know they have centers all around the world. For those interested you can check the following link: https://www.dhamma.org/en/about/vipassana Looking forward for the midway challenge!

Day 12 & 13 - yesterday challenge (12) Love the idea to exercise in 7 minutes. Is such a short period that there is no excuse to that. Now I just have to check out some of the exercise which I am not sure if I am doing it right. todays challenge - (13) This one is so true to me. I definitely suffer from the do-it-later syndrome. I am always postponing something that I wanted to do, that I thought I should do, or that I promised to someone. Those things will hunt me for a long time. I was aware of this problem before and I decided to write down some stuff that I was postponing in my white board. I thought it would be a nice idea to actually see those things. Seeing them there help me to work on them because if I have any free time, I can look to the white board and choose one to work on. It is a continuous reminder. However what I put there was just a part of it, and taking 15 minutes to create a list made me aware of many other things I need to work on. The list helps to direct my action to stuff I want to do.

Hi Florian, I completely understand you. It definitely add another dimension to the Christmas season. Once you get to know, it is hard to live without!

Updates, I finally finished my vision board, pic is below. I am sure it could be a bit more ambitious, but I decided to start small. I am going home by the middle of December. One problem I always have there is that I end up being bored, without much to do, which leads me to play. I don't want follow the same circle again. So I decided to think before hand what I want to do there to spend my time in a more productive way. When the vision board mission came I thought it was a nice exercise to figure out the activities I had the interest doing there. Here is the list: 1 - visit the old city of Rio de Janeiro - I have been to Rio once but not to the old city. This time I want to take two or three days to have a look around. 2&4 - Near my hometown there are two attractions that I would like to visit. One is a natural history museum, which contains many fossils that were found in the region. I also would like to visit a place called "horizonte perdido" (lost horizon). I first heard about it this year and I instantly felt in love with the view. 3 - This picture describes three things at once. First one, I want to keep working on my comfort zone. I could even try to do some of the challenges with the people there. I want to be more open and take more advantages of the opportunities. Second, I want to do paragliding once, and I thin beautiful scenery of Rio de Janeiro would be perfect for that. Third, I would like to keep working with my German. I want to read and watch news in German, so I don't get too rusty. 4 - I enjoy cooking and I want to take this time to try out some recipes. I also want to cook to my family and friends some of the stuff I learned here. 5 - I want to read two books while I am there. 6 - I want to keep on with my meditation habit. 7 - I want to spent quality time with family and friends 8 - In my city they have a nice christmas light event occurring every year. I planed to attend many times but didn't manage. This year I want to go there. That is it. I know it is quite simple but I think it can help me to stay clean while I am there. I will definitely work on some more ambitious ideas for the 2016 board. I will post that here once is done!

Four years!! That is a huge number, well done man!! Nice to see that is actually possible to keep doing it for a long time. Lets see how long I last!

Day 11 - Discipline, @Cam - I should have guessed where all this talk about cold water was leading to! Just after reading today's mission I thought, Is Cam serious? Really? With temperatures going around 0, an ice cold shower is not what I have in mind for a perfect morning! My second thought was, man, why did I start this challenge just now, I should have done it during summer, by then the mission would be much easier! But then I thought, man, if you cant stand the hot get out of the kitchen, which in my situation can be translated to - Man, if you cant stand the cold water, get out of the shower! I changed my thoughts about the winter to give it a positive turn - it is harder to get a cold shower now, you definitely need more will power to do that. That is good because if I am able to do it I should be even more proud of myself. I decided to get in. I have to say the head first method was scary. I did start throwing a bit of water on my feet so I could feel how cold it was. Guess what, it was damn cold! It dint help much. The thing is, if I really wanted to complete this challenge, there was no way around it. I dived in, head first. When taking the shower I realized that the water was not that cold, and it was actually warming up. Too good to be true. Out of habit I opened the warm water, not the cold. I changed it and was able to complete the challenge. I think it is too early to talk about the effects it had on my discipline, I couldn't notice anything special. However, it did have a very positive effect on my energy. I was the whole day alert and active, even after lunch when I normally struggle being sleepy. Taking this in consideration I am even thinking to take the bonus mission and do it for a month. Let see what happen.

Day 10, Wow one third of the challenge is gone. Looking forward to see what comes next. I was really surprised by todays mission, I never singed in a karaoke and I think that might be fun. I am planing to do it tomorrow. Let's see what happens!

I was quite surprised, they muted it within 30 minutes after I have posted it there. Didn't know that could happen! Just changed it, now it has a rights free music. It is not the song I used, but it is better than mute!

Day 9 - Courage, Today's challenge was somewhat easier. I am definitely not that much Brazilian when it comes to dancing, but it was fun doing it . I definitely will do it again, but next time without taping it, of course! The link is below. I just checked it and it was muted due to copy rights issues. But it may be it is just happening here, Germany is a bit more conservative regarding to songs on youtube. Just try it out. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rmBPh-_75s8

Hey Cam, You won’t believe man, this idea of the swimming pool came to my mind one or two months ago (and I thought I have reinvented the wheel, man, is so difficult to be a creator in the 21 century! ) I had the idea after swimming in some very cold lakes around the German Alpes. The water was quite cold, but the mission was to enter in every lake we stopped by. As you said, I would put my toes in and create courage to get going. But at certain point, normally when water was around my waist, I would stop there unable to go forward or backward. If I continued forward the water would reach my back, which for me is the most unbearable part of the process of getting into a cold lake. I feel cold only thinking about it! The same thing would also happen if I thought about jumping. So I didn't want to go forward. But I didn't want to go back either. First because I already made that far, I couldn't go back and lose all the mind work I have to do to convince myself to get into the water in the first place. Second, if I got out I would still be cold, so better cold inside than outside. But then I was stuck there, with water to my waist, unable to move. That is exactly what happens with me when choosing. I am hit by a paralysis and I cant go forward or go back. I am stopped by my thinking trying to decide what to do, and in the end I cant do anything. The thing is, for the lake, as for the pool, you are right, once you are in you can have a lot of fun. All the lakes we tried I finally got in, and it was amazing, and gave me a different view from the places we have been. It was clear to me that once the water was on my waist, there was no way back, I would eventually get in. It was already decided. But still I would struggle and in all occasions I needed ten to fifteen minutes to really dive in. As you said, if I had jumped at the beginning I would have ten to fifteen minutes more to enjoy, and less time to struggle. Writing to you now I am realizing that maybe what I need to do is to shift my focus. If I had centered my thinking on the fun instead of focusing on the short time of uncomfortable cold, things would be easier I guess. And I think the same reasoning can also be applied for making choices. Maybe instead of focusing on any discomfort I should focus more on what I want out from the choice I am making. That might help me to jump when I am tending to struggle. Is definitely something I want to try out. Regarding the self criticism, you are right, I should take step by step. It is just that sometimes it seems to me that any improvement appears to be so small near to all things I need to work on. But is clear that thinking like that wont help me. Breath in and breath out. The small steps are the ones that will keep me walking, and I agree I should be proud for taking them. And I am. There is no need to rush, after all Rome wasn't built in a day! Really appreciate your help and valuables insights. Thanks!

Day 8 - Courage, Today I managed to complete the challenge. Completing it was easier than I thought. As I didn't manage during lunch time, I made a break at work at 16.00 and went around my workplace to see if I could spot anyone. I saw a girl and I liked her and decided to stop her. I stop her and told her that I found her scarf nice, which in fact I did. I didn't expect she would react like she did. She smiled at me and said, it was her favorite. However I did not realize it at once. I was so preoccupied to do it right that I forgot to do the key thing in conversation, to listen. When she finished I just complimented her again, and said she had a nice combination and nice taste. That is all I trained to say, not very spontaneous, but I needed to know what to say to deal with the anxiety before hand. She thanked me and both parted. Coming back to work I was happy because I took the courage to do it. At the same time I was unhappy because I didn't listen to her and if I was listening the conversation might have been longer, I could have picked up her line at once and maybe she would have had a different impression of me. My criticisms and perfectionism entered the room and didn't want to let me enjoy the fact that I completed the mission. It seems that it is never good enough. I tried to close my eyes and realize what I just did. Okay it could have been better, but definitely that was not the point of the challenge. I did what I was supposed to do and I should be happy and proud about it. That is the part my focus should go on, but sometimes I do struggle with self criticism. It is something I definitely needs to learn how to deal with.

Today I was again after the 8th challenge. First of all I want to say this challenge brought me to back to world. Yesterday and today, every time I would get out of the house I would look around to see the people on my surroundings. I realized that for a long time I have been living in my own world without appreciating the moment, completely blind to what was happening around me. I was pretty much focused on my problems and not paying attention to the beauty of life. This challenge awoke a part of me that was long sleeping and I am thankful for that. Today I stopped to think why I failed yesterday. The reason that come to my mind is about choice. I have some problems to realize what I really like, what I don’t. And this happen mostly in all areas of my life, from big decisions to the very small one. Every time I have to chose something or say if I like it or not, I look to it and wait for something to happen, as if in the case I like it, a green light would pop up in my mind, but if that is not the case, a red light would appear instead. As you may have guessed, independently for how long I wait, the light never appears, be it green or red, and as a result I continue without really knowing if I like it or not. That is quite hard because I am not sure I am in the right way or not. I have a impression that with other people to like or not something is part is automatic and ingrained in the system. I know everyone struggles with big choices, but as I said before I have the same problem also for small things. I remember once I went wit a friend to buy a shoes and took me like two hours to decide between two colors. I was sure about the model but not about the color. And you have to agree, that is a very basic choice. Imagine how much time I would need to make the big choices; months, maybe years. Or maybe I just avoid doing them.

Yep, agree! I also tried meditating and it helped, but just for the moment, then when I started thinking again about it the anxiety would return. I think I have to try to get it easy and don't make such a big deal of that.

Hi guys, today it was supposed to be the 8th day, but I failed to complete the challenge. Now that I got home I was even ashamed to share it, but seeing a TED talk from Brené Brown, the one about shame, changed my mind so I want to tell you guys what happened, why I think I didn't manage to complete the challenge and what are my plans for tomorrow. When reading today’s challenge in the morning I was excited, I pretty much liked the idea. I was even more excited when seen Brené’s talk about vulnerability. So I went to work with that in mind. All that I needed to do was to find a girl, find something I liked on her, go there and tell her that. It sounds simple but in my mind it was too complicated and then I couldn't stop thinking about it and every time I thought about it I felt anxious. I was freaking out. One reason for that it might be I am a bit rusty. I haven't approached a girl for sometime and to be honest, for a long time I was not feeling attracted to anyone. I know it sounds strange but I was just not in the mood. It is getting better but not to the point that I approach someone. The other reason is that I do avoid being vulnerable. I do avoid telling people what is happening with me, or what I am feeling. The idea of opening myself was overwhelming. So I ended up being anxious all day long and did not manage to do what I was supposed to do. But I wont give up, I will try this one again tomorrow. I just need to calm myself and realize that in the end is not a big deal. I do want to get it done. I will try it out tomorrow again.

Day 7 - Courage! Today I stayed at home most of the time, but I did managed to have a productive day. I had my morning routine followed by reading, cleaning, cooking. After that it was time to get out of the house to complete today's mission. The challenge today is a cool idea, but man, I needed a lot of will power to go to the action! I printed the sings and decided to try my luck around my neighborhood. I did not see that much people on the streets, and even when I saw someone I was not sure if that one should be the first. Finally I saw a girl coming my way and I decided to go to her. It was funny because when I started talking with her I realized that the girl behind all the jackets, scarfs and bonnet was not strange to me, it was someone I knew. Due to this fact, I could not ask her, otherwise it would be cheating… I thanked her and kept waiting to see if anyone else would come, but the streets were deserted. In that way, I decided to move to the city center because I was sure I would be able to find someone there. I started on the main street but that was a bad decision. There were too many people there, and with all that stimulus I was not able to stop anyone, it was too much to take action. I moved to another place nearby, one that was much calmer but not deserted. The first approach was the hardest. You always need more energy, willpower so to say, to break the inertia. I stopped someone on the street, tried German, tried English, but nothing worked. I said thanks and moved on. After this one, I approached two more, but both of them rejected my request. Finally I approached a guy that was just having a hamburger on the way. I was expecting a no but surprisingly I got a yes. Picture is below! P.S. You can notice how nervous I was just by looking on the sign, if you can see it anyway…

Thanks for the advise Cam! I am keeping that in mind!

Day 6 - Courage, I want to start by making a comment. When I was reading the bonus texts from today’s mission I found a sentence that made me think - If you don't ask, the answer is always no. It made me think because I don't like asking and I avoid doing it as much as possible. That is my way of dealing with rejection, and I have been doing that why for as long as I can remember. But avoiding it did not make me feel any better. And actually it can’t make me feel better. That is exactly what I realized while reading the sentence I mentioned above. If I don't ask because I am afraid to get a no as an answer, that is exactly the only answer I can get, nothing else. On the other hand, to get a yes, one has to take the risk. It is like a two sided coin. If you throw it you can either get head or tail. But if you don't throw it, you are stuck with one side from the beginning. Talking about risks, the mission today was not easy. I spent 1-2 minutes in front o the coffee shop hesitating. I checked the coffee options, made my mind and entered. The barista was friendly, which made the process a bit easier. However, I got uncomfortable when he said the price of the coffee - 1.50 EUR, which was quite cheap because it was „to go“. I was committed to the mission, so I ended up asking for the discount anyway. At first he couldn't understand, then he wanted to charge me 2.00 EUR. Instead of a discount of 10% I was managing to get an increase of more than 30%. I told him, I didn't wanna pay 2.00 EUR, I wanted to pay 1.35 EUR instead. He said he couldn't do that and explained to me that the coffee was already cheap. Seeing that there was no room for negotiation, I payed the 1.50 bill and got out of the shop unable to believe I was able to do it, but I did!

Day five - basic skills done - ready to dive in! The two concepts presented today are not new to me. Not that I have used them, but I have read or seen something about it. I remember reading about visualization in Charles Duhigg's book, The power of habit, and I was pretty much surprised about it as he explained how Phelps used it in his training routine. On the other hand, the gratitude journal I saw in a youtube video from a friend of mine. Both very interesting concepts to add to a solid base, which we developed in the last five days. I am starting to see that the philosophy of the challenge was built on the slight edge. Every day we grow a bit, and by the end of the 30 days our pennies will be many!! I started my vision board, but did not finished it yet. I will post it here once I do!

Hey Cam, Guess what just arrived at my place after a transatlantic trip. Thanks for the sticker, and thanks for the motivation letter! Thanks for giving us an opportunity to growth!

Day 4 - Creating a morning success routine. I couldn't agree more with the topic of today’s challenge. I do believe the morning is the key to your day, and I was able to see it for my self in the last 62 days since I quite gaming. When I quite I decided I want to arrive always on time at work. Besides that, I also wanted to include a routine. Since June I was trying to fit meditation in my day life. But I was not taking it seriously, some days I would manage to do it, others not. Even though I was doing it not in a regular basis I was able to see the effect it had on me. So at the same time I committed myself to stop playing I also committed my self to meditate one hour daily. Since then I wake up every day at 6.30 and do an one hour long meditation session. Since I have added it to my routine I am more motivated and I have seen improvements in my focus and even in my self control. It is probably the main reason I have been able to stay clean for all those 62 days. I can’t recommend it enough. It’s definitely worth a trying. To complete my morning routine, for the last four days, I have added half an hour of reading, so I would be able to read the challenge every day early morning. To be able to do it I wake up half an hour earlier, at 6.00, meditate for one hour and then read for half an hour. After that I have my breakfast and take a shower, which then complete my Morning Success Routine.

Hi Travis, Just want to say that I posted my first opinion about the slight edge only based on the first chapter. Under this term, what I posted was basically all based in impressions, only that. Not very scientific on my side to be honest. The thing is, the first chapter was too abstract to my taste and I was having a hard time grasping it. And things didn't get better when he started talking about philosophy adding a further layer of subjectivity to the mix. I was definitely missing some objectivity. I just finished chapter three and now things are starting to make sense as he begins to actually explain the main idea behind slight edge, that is the compound effect. A simple but useful idea. An idea that, as you said, is not about magic, is about work, consistent work! Hopefully he will give more objective details in the further chapters. One way or another, I will make sure I keep reading it!

Day three - I have to say that I liked all the challenges so far, although I am just starting. Really curious to see how it will play out. But let take one day at a time and here I am, third day of the challenge. First I want to say that I really like the idea of reading books. Books can help us to think and grow. I somehow always knew how powerful a book can be. I even remember promoting the act of reading to my friends. The funny thing is, I promoted it but didn't manage to do it myself. Do as I say, not as I do . I have read one book here, another book there, but never managed to really create the habit of reading. For example, this year I think I finished one book or so. Actually I did started a lot of books this year but never manage to finish them. I start one, read for one week, stop for one month and then start reading something else. In the end I am only jumping from one to the other but in the end I actually don't read any of them. And if I think that I could have been doing it for years now make me a bit sad, even more when I realize I am over 30 now. Well, I can’t change that. But I do want to try to create this habit. Who knows, maybe my 60 years old self will thanks me for that About the slight edge, I just finished the first chapter. To be honest I am still a lit bit skeptic of it. Coming from a science background, I always doubt what seems too good to be true. But I am curious to see what the book has to offer. I will keep you updated on that one.