Davo36 26 Posted July 28, 2016 Share Posted July 28, 2016 Yep, got to 11 weeks through the 12 week program and fell off the wagon.As I've said in other threads, I've been really depressed at times recently. I understand this could be a reaction (or common effect or whatever) to giving up gaming but man it's hit me hard. Had depression around 4 years ago quite badly and it's exactly like that. Not a place I enjoy being.So anyway, had one day last week where I didn't know what to do with myself, couldn't see how to get through the day and so started watching streams on Twitch. And then of course installed the only game I ever play, StarCraft 2. And I've been playing it for the last week.And man the first few days were wonderful! The depression instantly went away (I have noticed this before) and I was really enjoying myself. Getting lots of other stuff done too. Lots of energy, felt really positive etc.But of course it went the way it always does, which is that within a week, I'm staying up to 2am playing it, getting really shitty when I lose and craving that winning feeling. So that when I win, or lose, I instantly start another game to either take away the bad losing feelings or get the winning feeling again.So uninstalled this morning. Again.The whole time I was watching myself do it, very aware of what I was doing and trying to take in how it all felt etc. And as I said above, at first it's like a Godsend, then after a while it's OK, then an all encompassing obsession which is not enjoyable at all.Oh well, back on the wagon, wish me luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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