New and overwhelmed

[Panthau]

 

Hi

I just discovered, how much of an gaming addict i am. Not only that, but i also used porn nearly everyday.

The last months my anxiety level shoot through the roof and i started to have depersonalization symptoms,
all from too much stress.
I took some measures and it got better (no sugar, no gluten, not running away from feelings) but its still here.

This anxiety forced me to look deeper within. And now im here. I screwed down my gaming times from 5pm to 8:30pm
for most of the days, which is good but not enough - especially as i play high stress multiplayer games.

Im 38 and since im about 7 or 8, im gaming. I just realized how used to gaming i am, every evening... i get really irritated if
something comes inbetween my daily gaming times. Stopping gaming alltogether sounds impossible, yet i know it would make my life so much
better. I just uninstalled all Blizzard games except Hearthstone. Not sure if i can give that up...

I need to find things that i can fill my evenings with, i guess.

Thanks for reading.
Panthau

Edited June 28, 2016 by Panthau

[Cam Adair]

Hey, welcome to the forum. It's awesome to have you join us here. There are many other members in their 30s+ so you'll find a lot of support here.

Any ideas of what you can fill your time with yet?

[Panthau]

Sure, at first it felt like theres nothing that can replace gaming but then i remembered things i always wanted to do, but never did. Like

drawing or playing guitar/drums... but i guess i need to crush through the first days of non gaming nevertheless.

Looking back, it all makes sense. I was regular overwhelmed by stress and needed to stop doing anything. After a while of not doing anything,

i got tons of motivation and ideas... yet all i did was gaming. I mean it got better by the years (i played wow 10 years ago for 12h+) but its still

directing my life. Maybe i can find a compromise to only play single player games on weekend evenings for a while.

 

Btw, shift enter for only one line jump doesnt work on the ipad....

[Cam Adair]

What I would suggest is to finish the 90 day detox first, and then you can re-evaluate whether you want to try single player games on the weekend evenings or not. If I'm being honest, I know if I was gaming I could still be "functional"... but every minute after I met my "obligations" for the day I would put them into gaming. Gaming is what you know and it's what you're comfortable with, so use this 90 day period as a new opportunity to learn about yourself. Treat it as an experiment.

Drawing and learning an instrument sound good! Let's also brainstorm some ways you can deal with stress because it's likely that will happen. Are you exercising at all right now? That's a good place to start as wel.

Thanks for the note on the iPad bug. I've made note of it.

[Panthau]

 

True, a complete detox makes sense. Im very functional while addicted to gaming, i have a wife and a 15y old kid, im self employed and i visit the gym at least once a week. We also go hiking once a week, and besides all that, i love my job. But when im at home, all i do is sit at the pc playing. Its an escape, though im not sure what im running away from.

So i guess, detoxing might also bring up some unpleasant feeling. I can live with that... maybe i have finally a chance to overcome that blockage which doesnt let me meditate since 5 years (makes me very irritated and anxious). Btw, meditation (with binaural beats, about 2 years daily) solved "all" problems for me, i felt so good that i even stopped my gaming addiction for a while, until that blockage showed.

Thanks for your encouragement. Do you have your own story somewhere written down?

Oh and the two lines dropping happen only when pressing enter... guess i leave the line breaks to the forum then. 

Edited June 28, 2016 by Panthau

[FedererMagic]

Hi Panthau

Good luck with quitting games  .

My advice would be to take small steps at a time. When you want to change everything, it's going to be a lot of change and it can be overwhelming. By moving in small steps it will become far more realistic and the chance of lasting success will be way higher.

Tip for quitting Hearthstone: What helped me was completely stopping to watch video's about it and realize there's never an end to it. It creates reward systems for your brain and you should try to replace it with more healthy alternatives.

Best of luck, you can do it  !

[Panthau]

Thanks Federermagic.  Well i guess im already in a change mood... quitted sugar and gluten a month ago. Lost 7kg (not sure how much that is in pounds), though that wasnt even my intention. 

Guess theres no end to any game... although i have a job 3 times a week for 3h where i have literally nothing to do but sitting in front of a laptop. Hard to resist lol

Edited June 28, 2016 by Panthau

[Cam Adair]

I'm working on writing my story now. I'll share the draft of it here.

[Panthau]

Great, ill check it out when i come home.

Yesterday i couldnt sleep because of no gaming. That shows how severe my addiction is. At 2am i started some game on the ipad which relaxed me, so i could finally sleep.

This is going to be a tough journey lol

[Mad Pharmacist]

Hey Panthau!

You can start a normal, healthy life and get used to it just like you did get used to video games for 30 years!

Just uninstall Hearthstone to be less tempted.

Ah, and writing your journal is also relieving activity. Just like writing 750 words a day, which I practice right now. It helped me with neurosis, so you should try it aswell!

http://750words.com/

Greetings, Mad Pharmacist.