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Hello Everyone!


Lunya

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Hey game quitters,

I've been thinking about joining this forum for a while now and today I decided to just do it.
Yesterday was one of these days, procrastinating life away...by gaming.
I realised how much hours I spend on it on just one day (about 4 hours, which is not extremely extreme, but I just wanted to play for about an hour) and I missed my bus to my best friend who lives in another town because of it, which made me so angry at myself, that I erased the game file from my memory card (it was some old game on ps2), put all my games I have at the moment in a big box and banned them in my basement. I plan to sell them in the next weeks. I also deleted every non-physical game from my devices.

After this decision I took the next bus 30 minutes later and had a great time with my friend at a little concert.

So far, so good.
The thing is, I know I will find another way to procrastinate, be it by watching too many youtube videos or doing some other pointless task like cleaning, when there is much more important things to do.

And that's why I am here now.
I want to interact with people who have similar issues or at least make my decisions somewhat official by posting them online. Maybe I will start a journal :)
For now I plan to start slow by doing the 90 days detox. After a few days I will try to conquer my social anxiety little by little. I need to become better at socializing but more importantly I cannot be so afraid of stupid things any longer. I put off opening important letters, reading e-mails, answering phone calls...I fear talking to people (even online) and going outside at some days. Many people here know this feeling, but in real life and don't really have anybody to talk about it. My boyfriend is great, I know he loves me and I can talk with him about everything but he is a real extrovert. Same with my sister, my parents and pretty much everyone in my social environment, except for my best friend. She is also an introvert, but I don't think she has a problem with opening letters and stuff.

Anyway, I also want to change a few other things like drawing alot more, exercising more, posting art online, learning to program and maybe pick up the guitar again. Especially the first one is important, as I plan to have an artistic career in the future. Too bad I'm 21 already and not very good yet (nevertheless I will always draw, as it makes me happy like nothing else). I tried to get into universities to study illustration or graphic design but I failed. It dragged me down alot but what dragged me down even more is the fact that I dropped out of university because I failed math (I studied biology, which was my second plan). Now I don't know what to do with my life...I don't really have another plan yet but I have to find one because I don't want to work in badly payed jobs for the rest of my life. My last job was a desaster (server at a restaurant) and made my anxieties worse. Now I am living by savings but I need a new job soon otherwise I am really screwed.

So the most important thing is actually to find out what I want to do as a career and side job, while not distracting myself with addictive behaviour. That's going to be tough but it's not impossible.

If any of you read this, thank you very much and I apologize if this sounds too whiny or weird to read (english is not my first language, feel free to correct me as I want to improve).

Have a great day!

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Wow, I had a gut feeling when I saw your username at the front page and I was right. Welcome!

Basically, I relate with most things you said with very little exceptions, the most notable the gender I'm assuming you have (except on sundays and odd numbered days). 

Yes, I want to be an artist like you, yes I procrastinate a lot (and I'm terrible at math) and yes, I also have 21 and know that feeling of not being "good enough" at something to start supporting yourself. We have all kinds of dropouts here, from high-school and university, but in all honesty your past or even current situation doesn't define you. People start reading a book, they don't like it and they drop it. They start a job, they don't like it and they quit. And it's fine. Why there is so much drama with courses and careers then?

Probably because expectations. Most people see studying as a mean to achieve or shape their lives into something bigger and more concrete than just being here, breathing and taking space and stuff. You don't fail at life if you "fail" to like a book, but if you drop a school then you're doomed to beg for food in the street. The key word here is: chill. You can always find a pointless and meaningless menial job, but that should be an emergency solution. There is an alternative: Do what you really want and you'll be good at it. Be good at it and you'll earn some money. Money is cool. Start again. Alan Watts at its finest.

Social anxiety seems to be a key factor in your current situation. For instance, you used games to escape the social situation with your friend, even if rationally you wanted to go. Your boyfriend is very sociable, and I'm guessing you love him being that way since you want to beat your shyness. And at the same time your best friend shares with you your introversion; so you both have a person who empathizes with you walking the same road and a person who is in a position to gently push you out of your comfort zone. Seems like a great plan to me! Also, if it serves you, I was also really shy when it came to online communication. It's just getting used. If you don't feel it "colder" than face-to-face conversations I think you'll come to like it. 

Yes, you'll very probably find yourself procrastinating a lot, with the most absurd things, unless you have incredible amounts of self-discipline. That shouldn't worry you, it's completely normal. ""Simply"" focus in what you want to do and organize your hobbies without straining your schedules too much. 

Oh, here, have a simple tutorial on proper attitude, drawn for your convenience:

 

[A cute drawing was here, but now it's no more. Booo :<]

 

Oh no, now I set a precedent and I'll need to draw in each introduction post :( But I was about to practice when I saw this, so two birds in one shot I guess? ^_^

Have a great day too!

 

Edited by Hitaru
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Welcome to our group! You have made a wonderful start!  Be proud of your choice.  You also have defined things you want to work on and that will keep you busy as you learn to have a life without games. One of my favorite things to do each day on detox was an app to count the days and watch my accomplishment grow.  Journaling will help you as you deal with your thoughts on the items you are changing.  Most of us are working on things in our lives we want to make better and often times it is as we remove the gaming crutch we deal with those things honestly.  Good luck

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I remember once being so frustrated with video games that I pried open my console controllers with a knife and crushed them with a hammer, and I've also been depressed to the point of nearly hurting myself. Both times I moved the knife as far away from me as I could and people I really loved as close to me as I could. Getting rid of your video games and surrounding yourself with people who care about you and who can relate to what you are going through are definitely very helpful steps for you to take! Hang in there! 

Also, I don't really like to make too many practical suggestions to people who might really just need others to shut up and listen to them instead of bombarding them with advice, but I have to say that I would not have known that English was your second language if you had not said something about it. You could try a translating job if all else fails. Good luck, I wish all goes well for you, and I will pray for you! 

:) 

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Hello Lunya!

Great to see you there.

Looks like missing bus to your friend was like your moment of waking up!

From now on, it could be only better and better!

And to avoid procrastination, I recommend to you LeechBlock add-on. You can block any time-eating websites with this app!

Greetings, Mad Pharmacist

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