Lunya

Hey game quitters, I've been thinking about joining this forum for a while now and today I decided to just do it. Yesterday was one of these days, procrastinating life away...by gaming. I realised how much hours I spend on it on just one day (about 4 hours, which is not extremely extreme, but I just wanted to play for about an hour) and I missed my bus to my best friend who lives in another town because of it, which made me so angry at myself, that I erased the game file from my memory card (it was some old game on ps2), put all my games I have at the moment in a big box and banned them in my basement. I plan to sell them in the next weeks. I also deleted every non-physical game from my devices. After this decision I took the next bus 30 minutes later and had a great time with my friend at a little concert. So far, so good. The thing is, I know I will find another way to procrastinate, be it by watching too many youtube videos or doing some other pointless task like cleaning, when there is much more important things to do. And that's why I am here now. I want to interact with people who have similar issues or at least make my decisions somewhat official by posting them online. Maybe I will start a journal For now I plan to start slow by doing the 90 days detox. After a few days I will try to conquer my social anxiety little by little. I need to become better at socializing but more importantly I cannot be so afraid of stupid things any longer. I put off opening important letters, reading e-mails, answering phone calls...I fear talking to people (even online) and going outside at some days. Many people here know this feeling, but in real life and don't really have anybody to talk about it. My boyfriend is great, I know he loves me and I can talk with him about everything but he is a real extrovert. Same with my sister, my parents and pretty much everyone in my social environment, except for my best friend. She is also an introvert, but I don't think she has a problem with opening letters and stuff. Anyway, I also want to change a few other things like drawing alot more, exercising more, posting art online, learning to program and maybe pick up the guitar again. Especially the first one is important, as I plan to have an artistic career in the future. Too bad I'm 21 already and not very good yet (nevertheless I will always draw, as it makes me happy like nothing else). I tried to get into universities to study illustration or graphic design but I failed. It dragged me down alot but what dragged me down even more is the fact that I dropped out of university because I failed math (I studied biology, which was my second plan). Now I don't know what to do with my life...I don't really have another plan yet but I have to find one because I don't want to work in badly payed jobs for the rest of my life. My last job was a desaster (server at a restaurant) and made my anxieties worse. Now I am living by savings but I need a new job soon otherwise I am really screwed. So the most important thing is actually to find out what I want to do as a career and side job, while not distracting myself with addictive behaviour. That's going to be tough but it's not impossible. If any of you read this, thank you very much and I apologize if this sounds too whiny or weird to read (english is not my first language, feel free to correct me as I want to improve). Have a great day!