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SirTot

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Hey everyone,

I am a 27-year old game addict. Been playing games all of my life, and they have affected the most important aspects of my well-being. I have only started to take my gaming addiction into consideration after I graduated from college in the fall in Game Design. I realized upon graduation that I am nowhere near the person I wanted to be. I know that's normal in life, but... I had goals that I just never pursued because of so much time I've wasted out of insecurities. Gaming has been a massive part of my life. It has helped me through tough times during my parents' divorce and the drama that followed throughout the early years of my life, and it has inspired me to go to college and get my bachelors degree so that I would pursue a life of something I've been passionate about (I'm not a video game fan for just the gaming aspect, but because of the art, music, storytelling aspects of them which have inspired me). Without realizing the true extent of it, my gaming habit turned into a getaway from the real anxieties during my social years, and any potential friendship, relationship, and career connection I ever could have had became a lost opportunity. I've only been in a couple relationships, and being at my age at this point, I really wish I knew more about relationships than I do now. I long for someone special in my life, but I don't have the balance or the confidence to properly pursue and keep someone in my life while maintaining my own.

While I have a bachelors degree and the ability to pursue my life in any direction I want to go, I have little confidence to do anything unless it feels like I HAVE to. Right now I'm working at a retail job that I hate on and off, and I'm not really doing anything that feels meaningful to me. I've always wanted to be an artist, but practicing art is VERY different from playing a video game for me. Being in that gaming mindset where it's so much easier to accomplish something within a short amount of time, I feel so frustrated and impatient with myself whenever I try to draw or digitally paint anything. 9 out of 10 times I fail to create anything that feels satisfying to me because I've grown so impatient out of the sense of instant gratification I get from gaming. After that, I'd give up and relapse into a mix of gaming and online pornography. This would extend into days or weeks at a time. Months and years later, well... here I am.

Basically, I'm tired of feeling like someone who has little to no self-worth, I'm tired of having no experiences and confidence to do things I want to do, I'm tired of settling for bullshit, and I am willing to sacrifice the gaming aspect of my life to pursue something better- even if that means taking a chance at changing my career goals in the process.

This is my second attempt to detox. My first attempt was in early January this year, but I only was able to stick to it for a couple of weeks. This time, all of my games are deleted and any game-related subscriptions I have are cancelled. The answer to anyone asking me if I want to play a game is a strict NO. I hope to know better now going forward, and I hope I can keep it this way for a long time- at least long enough for me to see better changes in my life.

This is my first attempt to reach out to people and spill out my story on any forum, so... glad to be in this with all of you.

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Let me fix the introduction. I was a 27-year old game addict.

This is what gaming is all about hiding from the real world.Everyone here can relate to this.

The art-thing I'm also struggling with(well it's a hobby for me), what I do is plug-in head phones, listen to good music and try to redraw something I find on google.Not something hard, I want to feel good about my drawing at the end of the day.After you start feeling better about "art", go pro, get the books, watch the videos,talk with people about it etc.

Start a journal if you feel like doing it,to my little experience it helps.

Edited by gresa

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Hi SirTot,

It is good that you know what you want to do(stop gaming) and why you want do it( being more confident, being able to face hardship, build a meaningful relationship).

The best thing for accountability and consistency is to start a journal here in my opinion and be absolutely honest in it. You share only so much as you want to, but what you share has to be true. I emphasize this because this was a point I struggled with personally. I tend to lie to myself and to others about my current state. Not to this in this forum was a key point to my success I'll have finished this detox in 3 days and it helped me a lot with my self confidence and in many other ways. Feel free to ask if you have any questions.

We got your back!

Mario

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What about your pornography addiction? Have you tried fighting it and quitting it cold turkey? If you have two addictions, I believe it is wise to start from the worse one, and eliminate it before you begin to struggle against another. Pornography is infinitely worse than gaming addiction, for one thing, it is a bad thing in itself, and not only when it is overused as it is the case with gaming. Pornography has much more detrimental influence on human psyche than gaming, of course gaming in excess is something to be avoided, but it does not make one treat other people like sexual objects without any human dignity. I have also read in a magazine about fitness and healthy lifestyle that watching pornography can reduce one's intellect, so it is best to avoid it completely. I have never watched pornography myself, and even its very existence offends my sensibilities, so I do not know how addictive it may be and can give no advice other than to quit it cold turkey forever.

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Thanks for your feedback and your advice, Primmulla.

Pornography is indeed a terrible addiction- one that I have struggled with just as much as game addiction. During my detox, porn urges have been on my mind more than gaming urges. It is hard fighting them back, and I already have relapsed once already within my first week of video game and porn detoxing. Over the years I certainly have noticed the negative effects pornography has created in my mind and body (including the ruining of one's intellect, self-confidence, sense of self, and determination to succeed), and I struggle to deal with it even at this moment today because I've just relapsed into it a second time.

I agree with you that pornography is the worse addiction. The reason why I am trying to detox from gaming right now is because pornography doesn't take several hours for me to get my fix like gaming does. When it comes to my gaming addiction, I can sit down with a controller and blow away 10 hours of my day or more. That's a lot of time and a lot of activities I am blowing off. Not to mention my life hasn't been very productive lately, either. I'm not living the life I want to live, and the reasons are both hand in hand: the combination of both video games and porn. It's one after the other, and if I relapse into one, my mind will begin to consider relapsing into the other. It's these one-two punches I've been dealing to myself over the years.

It's hard, but I have to try detoxing from both. Despite my relapses into porn, I have been drawing and pursuing other activities more than I used to. So something is definitely changing...  I just need to pay greater attention to what I'm doing and develop a greater sense of discipline.

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Hey Sirtot! 

It's a great and really good step that you will start detoxing from both addictions. I did and am doing the same thing! Gaming and porn are imo very much related. If you used to do them both, you will find yourself stronger and more healthier in mind if you quit them both :) i can really speak from experience here that everytime i relapsed in gaming ór porn, it led to thoughts about the other addiction. basically what you arleady said, but i'm now almost 3 months further and it will pay off! you start seeing people (woman in my case) normal again, the momentum you build will be your defense when urges and cravings occur. We got your back here mate. 

Stay strong!

Rick

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That's interesting. I too am 27... and i wanted to be a Game Designer when i was younger. I am probably a better musician. That is, when i practiced - before my addiction got out of hand. If i had practiced more, maybe i could have gotten into music universities and such, i have no idea (But you know, the people who get into the music universities are the people who practice 4-6(+) hours per day... kind of like the people who get into the top sports... i would have had to practice MUCH more to get there)

I once studied computer science .... but got out of hand. Being on the computer all the time lead to me playing more games than doing anything (besides visiting forums all the time, had to quit facebook 1-2 years past, it got out of hand) - which lead to me not being very effective in this field. Had to change career paths.

What kind of art do you do? SOMETIMES i draw too, i am not that good at it, though - I am a much better musician and better at crafting things.

I have great respect for you to detox from both addictions.

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That's interesting. I too am 27... and i wanted to be a Game Designer when i was younger. I am probably a better musician. That is, when i practiced - before my addiction got out of hand. If i had practiced more, maybe i could have gotten into music universities and such, i have no idea (But you know, the people who get into the music universities are the people who practice 4-6(+) hours per day... kind of like the people who get into the top sports... i would have had to practice MUCH more to get there)

I once studied computer science .... but got out of hand. Being on the computer all the time lead to me playing more games than doing anything (besides visiting forums all the time, had to quit facebook 1-2 years past, it got out of hand) - which lead to me not being very effective in this field. Had to change career paths.

What kind of art do you do? SOMETIMES i draw too, i am not that good at it, though - I am a much better musician and better at crafting things.

I have great respect for you to detox from both addictions.

Thanks, TheJan. You mentioned you had to change career paths- what are you doing now? Do you still practice music at all? Maybe you should continue it as a hobby if you don't already. Since you're trying to detox from games too, you'll have more time to focus on other things including hobbies. I believe that sometimes people do great things not just from dedicating 6+ hours a day, but doing it because they enjoy it. Who knows- maybe you can be involved in a good gig someday and you won't have to set foot in a university.

I often draw characters or portraits (particularly women). I enjoy using black ColErase pencils or graphite pencils on regular paper for traditional art. I've been trying to shift permanently into digital art with a Wacom tablet and Photoshop. I also picked up piano at community college. I took a year off of my regular courses to pursue all of the piano classes and a couple in music theory and history. It's a hobby of mine, though I admit it's something I don't practice enough. My sight reading is pretty terrible. lol

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Pornography is infinitely worse than gaming addiction, for one thing, it is a bad thing in itself, and not only when it is overused as it is the case with gaming. Pornography has much more detrimental influence on human psyche than gaming, of course gaming in excess is something to be avoided, but it does not make one treat other people like sexual objects without any human dignity. 

Don't you think it's a bit over the top? Shaming never does any good, especially when there is such a blind hate going on. Do you also think that masturbation is bad?

I have never watched pornography myself, and even its very existence offends my sensibilities...

Here you go. Are you religious or something?

 

 

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Yes, I am Catholic, and both pornography and masturbation are mortal sins in Catholic church, they seriously offend God and can get you damned forever whereas gaming, as such, is not a sin =evil at at, it can be when it is taken to extremes and leads one to abandon one's duties, or e.g. to behave violently towards people as a result of playing violent games. Both pornography and masturbation are morally wrong in themselves, which makes them much worse than gaming. Games are just a form of entertainment like films or popular books, if someone has a problem with overusing them, of course he or she should do something to curb the problem, but eliminating gaming before pornography etc. is like curing acne when one has a cancer as well. It is better to eliminate the more serious threat earlier, and then progress to the minor one.

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I learned not to take a hard line on peoples lifestyles because it is so hard to be in their shoes and have their perspectives.  I think most things in moderation are fine. We are here because gaming for us did not work in moderation and the lives we wanted was not happening.  I can drink alcohol without problem.  I know recovering alcoholics who can't.  It is their issue and not mine and my issue is not theirs.   I feel anyone that has identified something that does not work for them and wants to remove it is choosing the best thing!  I can support their choice and try to support them thru the hard points as was done for me.  My gamer friends don't understand why I am doing what I am and even some of them are doing their best to support my choice even though they disagree.  So long story short! Good luck on tackling two issues at once and I'm impressed at your courage and taking your life into control!

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