EscapistNoMore Posted March 1, 2016 Share Posted March 1, 2016 Since I only recently discovered this website, I'll be starting this journal 46 days into my journey. Also, mindless web-surfing is included in my quitting-sphere. My main goal is to write more, since I've been wanting to get back into writing my novel since quitting.Day 46 (03/03/2016)Since I sold every gaming device I own (save for my smartphone, which isn't a problem cause I dislike mobile gaming) it's not that difficult for me to stay away from games. However, I have recently been "window shopping", which can't be healthy. What I mean by that is looking at gaming systems on eBay and Craigslist, and wishing I could buy a used Xbox 360 and play Red Dead Redemption just one more time, or a PS3 and play Uncharted 2 just one more time. I have the money to do this, but luckily (or unluckily, depending on how you look at it) I've run into some car trouble, so I'm saving that money for repairs. Also, I'm sort of accountable to my roommates and my parents. They know I sold my gaming devices because they were a distraction (but not because I was addicted), so it would be just awkward enough to have to explain why I bought a console when I sold my gaming PC recently. As for web-surfing, that's going alright, I suppose. Installing Cold Turkey has been extremely helpful with blocking the major time-sinks like Reddit and Youtube, but I can't block every website, so sometimes I'll still find myself reading articles on CNN or something when I should be working. I've been trying to keep my self-awareness up and realize when I'm procrastinating on my work. One thing I've found that helps is to verbally recognize when I'm feeling like procrastinating and accepting that feeling: I actually say out loud (or whisper to myself) "I want to procrastinate, and that's okay." Having the want isn't bad in itself, it's when I act on it that things go bad. Thus, just sitting with the urge for a minute or two is enough to let is pass. I'll keep trying to do that more regularly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cam Adair Posted March 1, 2016 Share Posted March 1, 2016 Hey Parker! Love seeing your journal up here. Journaling is one of the best ways to stay focused and improve quickly. If you read the journals of long-time members like Travis, you'll see that journaling was one of the things they said helped the most. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EscapistNoMore Posted March 1, 2016 Author Share Posted March 1, 2016 Hey Parker! Love seeing your journal up here. Journaling is one of the best ways to stay focused and improve quickly. If you read the journals of long-time members like Travis, you'll see that journaling was one of the things they said helped the most. Thanks Cam! I'll be sure to check out other journals and see what I can learn. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WorkInProgress Posted March 2, 2016 Share Posted March 2, 2016 (edited) Hey Parker ,Thanks for sharing your experiences. Self awareness is helping me too with my urges. I am still procrastinating often at youtube and other sites( yeah at gamequittters too) but it is getting better slowly. I think it just takes some time to implement better habbits in your life. Good to see other people struggle with the same things. Guess we are in a similiar phase. I am at day 45 .greetings Mario Edited March 2, 2016 by WorkInProgress Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EscapistNoMore Posted March 2, 2016 Author Share Posted March 2, 2016 Day 47Has anyone else relapsed in a dream? Last night I did, it was super strange. I bought a PS3 and played some game (can't remember which), and then I felt super ashamed about it (in the dream). Waking up was a weird relief haha!Today so far has been good with the web-surfing. Usually my class days are, because I'm on campus practically all day and have very little free time in between classes. We'll see about tomorrow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WorkInProgress Posted March 2, 2016 Share Posted March 2, 2016 I dreamed about LoL a few nights ago. Saw some other guys reporting this too. Seems normal:D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cam Adair Posted March 3, 2016 Share Posted March 3, 2016 Has anyone else relapsed in a dream?Dreams about games are normal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EscapistNoMore Posted March 4, 2016 Author Share Posted March 4, 2016 DAY 48Today wasn't bad at all, game/surfing wise. Most of it was spent driving around and swapping cars because I had to get my own car towed (not looking forward to that repair bill). Even though I didn't get any of my classwork done, I feel justified in taking an day off of any work - it is my birthday, after all! Tomorrow is going to be the real challenge to wake up and be disciplined in my work, so I need to be prepared to face that challenge. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cam Adair Posted March 5, 2016 Share Posted March 5, 2016 Happy birthday! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EscapistNoMore Posted March 5, 2016 Author Share Posted March 5, 2016 Happy birthday! Thanks for the birthday wish! I had a good time, went out with friends. It was fun.Day 50Alright, so yesterday I didn't post (guess I forgot to). It was a relatively productive day - I say relatively because I got something big done, but I didn't get everything done that I wanted to. I applied to the HarperCollins summer internship program, which took me a while cause I had to write a cover letter and draft a new resume (I don't think working in a coffee shop for six months is related work experience). So I got that done, which is nice. Fingers crossed for that! I also got a little bit of reading done. We're reading White Teeth by Zadie Smith for one of my classes, and so far it's pretty good.Aside from all that, however, I didn't get enough done. I still have French homework, an essay thesis to come up with, two midterms to study for....I could've at least gotten through my French homework, but I didn't. Since I've just started trying my verbal technique that I mentioned in my first post, It's kinda hard to remember to do it when the urge to web-surf rises. Maybe I can stick a Post-It note to my laptop that will remind me haha....that actually sounds like a good idea, I'll try that! Also, I've been doing well with refraining from installing the Reddit and Youtube apps on my phone (I can't disable myself from doing that, so it's all on me), but it can get difficult when I feel bored and I really don't have anything else I need to do. At that point, I need to remember that there's things that I want to do, not need to do - and that's writing. I call myself a writer, so I need to write. I have a goal of drafting up two character outlines by Monday, so I'm going to shoot for that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cam Adair Posted March 6, 2016 Share Posted March 6, 2016 Great job applying for the internship. It would have been easy for you to procrastinate on doing that for awhile. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EscapistNoMore Posted March 9, 2016 Author Share Posted March 9, 2016 DAY 54Been a while since I've posted. It's been a rough week. Last night I was up late finishing an essay that I had put off and put off until the last minute (it's due today). Lots of web surfing, distractions, all that. I'm also getting hit again by these bouts of unhappiness that come sometimes. I'm really dissatisfied with my life, with the situation I'm in. By all accounts, I'm doing well - good grades in school, my parents are paying for my apartment (a fact that I don't take for granted, don't worry) - but I just feel tired of it all. I guess I'm ready for a change. I really hate the city I'm in right now (I'm not a city person at all), and I feel like I've been doing the same thing forever. I'm ready for school to end and to start with something new. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cam Adair Posted March 9, 2016 Share Posted March 9, 2016 When is school done?In Travis' journal some of his latest posts would be valuable for you to read about where fulfillment comes from and so forth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EscapistNoMore Posted March 10, 2016 Author Share Posted March 10, 2016 When is school done?In Travis' journal some of his latest posts would be valuable for you to read about where fulfillment comes from and so forth.I graduate in December. And I'll check out his journal, thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EscapistNoMore Posted March 19, 2016 Author Share Posted March 19, 2016 DAY 64Alright, hey guys! It's been a while. Since Saturday I've been on class trip to New York City. Aside from exploring the city, we met with literary agents and publishers (I'm an English major and it was a publishing class) and it was just absolutely amazing. I love the city so much and I want to go back as soon as possible, but more than that, over the course of trip something clicked with me. I've said before that I've been struggling with finding my place here in this world and wanting to be a published author, but not knowing quite how to accomplish that. I had a professor of mine this semester tell me that "It's okay not to write. You don't need to be writing all the time. You're young, you haven't experienced life yet, so go do that first: live life. Write about it on the side, but don't feel like you need to. Just focus on experiencing life first."It was good advice, but back when I heard it a couple months ago I had no idea what "experiencing life" was going to mean. Will I actually go into publishing like I keep telling everyone? Will I join the Americorps? Or will I just move back home until I figure it all out? After the trip, it all kind of clicked. I suddenly had a goal in mind: get back to NYC. I've been applying for summer internships up there like crazy. I don't know if that's where I'll end up staying for years and years, or if I end up not liking publishing the way I thought I would, but I've realized that that's okay. I think with my generation it's hard to accept the fact that things aren't going to work out instantly right after college. After all, we've been told since kindergarten that we're supposed to graduate high school, go to college, get a diploma, and then get a good job. But we never heard that the "get a good job" step might take a while, and we definitely didn't hear that it's okay to take things slow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cam Adair Posted March 19, 2016 Share Posted March 19, 2016 Love NYC! We will definitely meetup if you're out there - I always find excuses to go Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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