Dreamcatcher

[Franek]

Hello... again,  

My last try to end with gaming and social media was around 2 months ago and it's lasts a few days.   

I'm feeling terrible. Tired, lack of willingness to act, sleeping around 5 hours a day and spend most of the time in my room.  

Now I'm changing my strategy. My goal is the same, but I'll not delete all games and accounts, I'll try to do something else to have less time for gaming. Additionally, I want to start going beyond my comfort zone and try to do something every day that I wouldn't normally do without thinking for hours about whether I really want to do it (often in the end it turns out that I don't do it and I'm just wasting my time).  

In the near future I want to practice my singing. For now, the dream to which I'm closest is to create a song, and my main is to make song with my favourite artist, but that's further in future.  

Dreams are my goals that will keep me on my way. 

  

My rules: 

- sleep 8 hours, 

- don't eat sweets and fast food, 

- remember about expanding my comfort zone, 

- doing instead of thinking and planning, 

  

It's all for today. 

See you tomorrow, maybe in my new life... I hope. 

[Franek]

Hey,
almost a month has passed and I haven't even started.

Nothing has changed.

And I changed my attitude... again.

 

• I'm quitting watching and reading various motivational stories, what I should do and how I should do it.
• I'm stopping listening to other people and starting to listen to myself.
• I used to be very nice, but it's a flaw that causes more harm than good. It's better to be nice only when necessary.
• I don't have any rules yet; there are just three states - better than yesterday, the same as yesterday, and worse than yesterday. The first sentence is positive, the second - if it follows a better day, it's good; if it follows a worse day, it's bad, and the third is the worst.
• If there's something to do, I do it; I try my best, but if it doesn't work out, I won't get down if I tried. It's better than doing nothing or doing something half-heartedly.

And yea, tomorrow is the first day, nothing will stop me anymore.

 

[Vee]

On 4/3/2024 at 7:27 AM, Franek said:

I'm changing my strategy. My goal is the same, but I'll not delete all games and accounts, I'll try to do something else to have less time for gaming. Additionally, I want to start going beyond my comfort zone and try to do something every day that I wouldn't normally do without thinking for hours about whether I really want to do it (often in the end it turns out that I don't do it and I'm just wasting my time).  

 

 

 

 

 

I don't know if you are still trying to quit games without deleting your games, but...that sounds like trying to quit games on Impossible mode. Personally, I haven't deleted any actual accounts, but I have removed Steam and all other non-Steam games from my PC. I've also removed the games from my PS4 (although I don't really use it for gaming anyway). 

If I have Steam installed, I'm going to play games. It is second nature to me to roll out of bed and play PC games without even pausing to think about it. It wouldn't matter how much I try to pack my life full of other hobbies and social events, if I have games still installed I would play games: first a little, then a lot, and then be back to playing them constantly.

On 4/26/2024 at 12:16 PM, Franek said:

 

• I'm quitting watching and reading various motivational stories, what I should do and how I should do it.
• I'm stopping listening to other people and starting to listen to myself.
• I used to be very nice, but it's a flaw that causes more harm than good. It's better to be nice only when necessary.
• I don't have any rules yet; there are just three states - better than yesterday, the same as yesterday, and worse than yesterday. The first sentence is positive, the second - if it follows a better day, it's good; if it follows a worse day, it's bad, and the third is the worst.
• If there's something to do, I do it; I try my best, but if it doesn't work out, I won't get down if I tried. It's better than doing nothing or doing something half-heartedly.

And yea, tomorrow is the first day, nothing will stop me anymore.

 

 

 

I think it's good to not fall into the trap of watching loads of motivational stuff. What works for one person doesn't work for another, etc. I recommend keeping a private journal, so you can get to know yourself better - when you've played games for so long, it can be hard to even work out who you are outside of that, or pay attention to your physical body (at least that's true for me). A private journal is a good place not just for venting, but also for deciding on experiments you want to try, to figure out what works best for you. E.g. if you want to exercise (or exercise more), you could try switching up the time of day, or how long you exercise, or how much time you have between eating and exercising, and keep track of what makes exercise feel easier to stick to. I would suggest staying flexible, don't set long-term "rules" that you are likely to fail.

Personally, I prefer to try things half-heartedly if trying my best feels implausible, but everyone is different.

Being "nice" is...complicated. And vague as a concept. I think there is a balance to strike between asserting your boundaries while still being mostly friendly and open-minded, but it's hard. Especially if you have a history of people treating you like dirt or ignoring you - it can make you swing too wildly in either direction.

[Franek]

Hello Vee,

At the beginning, I'd like to thank you very much for reading my posts and adding your input.

17 hours ago, Vee said:

I don't know if you are still trying to quit games without deleting your games, but...that sounds like trying to quit games on Impossible mode. Personally, I haven't deleted any actual accounts, but I have removed Steam and all other non-Steam games from my PC. I've also removed the games from my PS4 (although I don't really use it for gaming anyway). 

If I have Steam installed, I'm going to play games. It is second nature to me to roll out of bed and play PC games without even pausing to think about it. It wouldn't matter how much I try to pack my life full of other hobbies and social events, if I have games still installed I would play games: first a little, then a lot, and then be back to playing them constantly.

I've tried deleting all the games. I play ones that can be quickly downloaded again, so it's not a problem to reinstall them. I've also deleted accounts; I can always create new ones because they're free games.

That's why I thought I would stop bothering myself with getting rid of those games and consider them less dangerous, but I know that I have other things to do. They're just there, and I can play them whenever I want. Over the past few days, I think this is probably the best approach for me. I only played once for about 2 hours (where normally I would probably spend most of my time playing, if not on PC then on my phone) but after playing, I went cycling for about 2 hours too, for balance. It was challenging for me because I haven't been moving much at all for the past few months, but I managed it and enjoyed it.

 

I'll stick with this "plan" for now because it works for me, not exactly as I would like it to, but still better than nothing.

 

17 hours ago, Vee said:

I think it's good to not fall into the trap of watching loads of motivational stuff.

 

Yea, I used to fall into that trap. I watched motivational videos, felt excited, full of motivation, but after a short time, it all faded, and I went back to my addiction. That's why now I prefer not to watch them at all.

17 hours ago, Vee said:

I recommend keeping a private journal, so you can get to know yourself better - when you've played games for so long, it can be hard to even work out who you are outside of that, or pay attention to your physical body (at least that's true for me). A private journal is a good place not just for venting, but also for deciding on experiments you want to try, to figure out what works best for you. E.g. if you want to exercise (or exercise more), you could try switching up the time of day, or how long you exercise, or how much time you have between eating and exercising, and keep track of what makes exercise feel easier to stick to. I would suggest staying flexible, don't set long-term "rules" that you are likely to fail.

I'm planning to start a private journal, I know it can be very helpful, but I'm not sure where to begin and how to start. I suspect I just need to start, no matter how, and then it will somehow shape itself.

And things like strength exercises or just maintaining good posture are very difficult for me, but I know I can't just give up, and after some time, it will become normal for me.

17 hours ago, Vee said:

Personally, I prefer to try things half-heartedly if trying my best feels implausible, but everyone is different.

I feel the same way. It works better for me too, rather than trying to do something perfectly.

17 hours ago, Vee said:

Being "nice" is...complicated. And vague as a concept. I think there is a balance to strike between asserting your boundaries while still being mostly friendly and open-minded, but it's hard. Especially if you have a history of people treating you like dirt or ignoring you - it can make you swing too wildly in either direction.

I agree with you on that too. I've decided to be less nice, but I prefer to quickly think through each situation whether I'm acting according to what I consider right.

 

 

[Franek]

Hello,

3 days have passed and I've already played once... but, I managed to tear myself away from the game after about 2 hours, just as I planned before playing. After that, I went for a bike ride and cycled for about 2 hours as well, so it's another step towards improvement for me.

 

I'm not angry at myself like before, I'm not abandoning my resolutions, I'm not starting over. I'm fixing what I did wrong and moving forward. I'm on the right track.

Over the past few days, I've been performing my duties better, and of course, I've managed to get more done. I even managed to exercise a bit, albeit for just 30 minutes, but it's something.

So far, I haven't done anything towards fulfilling my dreams, although what I'm doing now is still a step forward.

 

"I used to be very nice, but it's a flaw that causes more harm than good. It's better to be nice only when necessary."

- I wrote that incorrectly. I'll continue to be kind, but I'll watch out not to be taken advantage of.

 

"If there's something to do, I do it; I try my best, but if it doesn't work out, I won't get down if I tried. It's better than doing nothing or doing something half-heartedly."

- I realize now that wasn't quite what I wanted to convey either. What I meant is that I'm trying my best and giving it my all, but if a task proves too difficult and there's a way to simplify it, I'll do that.

 

 

Edit 

I deleted games. If I'm not a gamer I don't need games. 

 

Edited April 29 by Franek

[Vee]

On 4/29/2024 at 3:46 PM, Franek said:

I'm planning to start a private journal, I know it can be very helpful, but I'm not sure where to begin and how to start. I suspect I just need to start, no matter how, and then it will somehow shape itself.

 

There's loads of different advice online about journaling, but I agree: the best thing is just to start, and not worry too much initially about what form it will take. It's something to experiment with, not try to get right the first time. You could even alternate between a paper-based one and a digital one, to see what feel right.

Although I have a lengthy template, my most basic journal entry is just a one-line summary of what I did that day. I only do that if I'm particularly lazy, but it's still useful for later reflecting on what I've done in the last week or month. Other things on my template (that I don't use daily): dream diary, goal tracker (three goals, no more) and gratitude section. I also automatically have an "On This Day" section linking to journal entries from this day each year (I use Obsidian for journalling, but I assume other software can do this).

Some days I might write a thousand words on something that is stressing me out, or I might write up the pros and cons of a big decision, but my average journal entry is just a few sentences about my day, how I felt, and what I hope for tomorrow.

On 4/29/2024 at 4:07 PM, Franek said:

"I used to be very nice, but it's a flaw that causes more harm than good. It's better to be nice only when necessary."

- I wrote that incorrectly. I'll continue to be kind, but I'll watch out not to be taken advantage of.

 

"If there's something to do, I do it; I try my best, but if it doesn't work out, I won't get down if I tried. It's better than doing nothing or doing something half-heartedly."

- I realize now that wasn't quite what I wanted to convey either. What I meant is that I'm trying my best and giving it my all, but if a task proves too difficult and there's a way to simplify it, I'll do that.

 

Apologies if I interpreted your words too literally!

[Franek]

On 5/1/2024 at 1:00 AM, Vee said:

There's loads of different advice online about journaling, but I agree: the best thing is just to start, and not worry too much initially about what form it will take. It's something to experiment with, not try to get right the first time. You could even alternate between a paper-based one and a digital one, to see what feel right.

I spend too much time trying to become perfect and not enough time taking action - that's was and still is my problem. 

I was looking for various tips and instructions on the Internet on how to do something better.

 

On 5/1/2024 at 1:00 AM, Vee said:

Although I have a lengthy template, my most basic journal entry is just a one-line summary of what I did that day. I only do that if I'm particularly lazy, but it's still useful for later reflecting on what I've done in the last week or month. Other things on my template (that I don't use daily): dream diary, goal tracker (three goals, no more) and gratitude section. I also automatically have an "On This Day" section linking to journal entries from this day each year (I use Obsidian for journalling, but I assume other software can do this).

 

After you mentioned this program, I saw it and it's great, I will definitely use it

 

On 5/1/2024 at 1:00 AM, Vee said:

Apologies if I interpreted your words too literally!

No, after what you wrote to me, I realized that this was not what I meant and indeed my statements could have been misleading. 

Everything's okay.

[Pochatok]

On 4/29/2024 at 11:07 AM, Franek said:

"I used to be very nice, but it's a flaw that causes more harm than good. It's better to be nice only when necessary."

- I wrote that incorrectly. I'll continue to be kind, but I'll watch out not to be taken advantage of.

There is an important distinction between nice and kind, imo! Sometimes, being kind means not being nice, and vice versa. 

I always try to lead with kindness- as in, I want the best for you. That can mean saying something that's difficult for the other person to listen to. It can also mean saying something nice. But I never put nice-ness as the goal- often, it can be subverted into lying/evading/manipulating others. I'm nice when it helps me be kind, not the other way around.

Just my 2c- look forward to hearing more about your journey! So glad to see you passionate about change and learning ❤️

[Franek]

6 hours ago, Pochatok said:

There is an important distinction between nice and kind, imo! Sometimes, being kind means not being nice, and vice versa. 

I always try to lead with kindness- as in, I want the best for you. That can mean saying something that's difficult for the other person to listen to. It can also mean saying something nice. But I never put nice-ness as the goal- often, it can be subverted into lying/evading/manipulating others. I'm nice when it helps me be kind, not the other way around.

Just my 2c- look forward to hearing more about your journey! So glad to see you passionate about change and learning ❤️

Welcome, 

I'm so glad that you came to visit my journal and added something from yourself!

 

I'm just looking for that balance. Sometimes it is difficult for me to refuse something from someone who uses me, but I am slowly resisting.

I find that I prefer to be nice to people who are nice to me. Before, I was nice to literally everyone.

 

 

[Franek]

It's been a week since my last post,

 

 

A week has passed since my last post, yesterday I played for a few hours and because of that I only slept for 5 hours.

 

I feel bad, but I don't look into this feeling.

 

Tired again.

 

I played because I'm stressed the next day at work, whether I'll do everything right, whether the tasks I had planned but didn't do will cause me problems.

 

I also played so I wouldn't feel lonely because I could talk to my friends.

 

I have huge problems concentrating, it took me about 30 minutes to write this short post.

I need to bring back my inner voice, it was silenced some time ago.

 

I'm starting to add more things to my action plan again and it's already become too much.

I need to update my priorities.

1. Sleep well

2. Stop browsing YouTube, Twitch, Facebook (unless for a specific purpose)

3. Exercise

4. Limit listening to music - don't listen to it when you need to concentrate (or listen to music that will help you focus), find time in complete silence, it's best to go outside in the evening and think.

5. Diet - better nutrition, no sweets and sweet drinks

6. Writing assignments on the board in my room.

I don't know if it's too much, but that's all I would like to change in the near future, I'll see in a week if I have any chance of following these points.

 

If it doesn't work, don't change it, just remove the ones that cause me the most problems.

 

I'm starting to understand the impact writing about my problems has on my well-being.

 

Thank you all for being here!

 

 

[Franek]

Yesterday and the day before yesterday I played until 11 p.m. (it was worse, but still bad).

 

I don't play to play. I play to talk to someone, to have fun with someone.

Similarly, I go to twitch.tv because I know there is someone on the other side. I don't know if it's an addiction or a feeling of loneliness.

I have people around me who love me and whom I love. Maybe I'd like to meet someone new. I don't know.

I didn't follow any of my rules during those days, but I tried to stick to them. I didn't let go completely.

 

Well, two days in a row it didn't work out, but nothing happened, I continue my journey.

[wheatbiscuit]

15 hours ago, Franek said:

Yesterday and the day before yesterday I played until 11 p.m. (it was worse, but still bad).

 

I don't play to play. I play to talk to someone, to have fun with someone.

Similarly, I go to twitch.tv because I know there is someone on the other side. I don't know if it's an addiction or a feeling of loneliness.

I have people around me who love me and whom I love. Maybe I'd like to meet someone new. I don't know.

I didn't follow any of my rules during those days, but I tried to stick to them. I didn't let go completely.

 

Well, two days in a row it didn't work out, but nothing happened, I continue my journey.

I felt I had to suggest at least something, so it is weightlifting again. It is like playing, but warm up first!

Have you ever played tug-of-war (two opposite teams pulling a rope) as a kid or found something way too heavy to pick up? Right there are my 2 favourite moves, all this time.

I think people can learn about their bodies just like their minds, and it might help.

Edited Tuesday at 11:02 PM by wheatbiscuit
grammar

[Franek]

On 5/15/2024 at 1:01 AM, wheatbiscuit said:

I felt I had to suggest at least something, so it is weightlifting again. It is like playing, but warm up first!

Have you ever played tug-of-war (two opposite teams pulling a rope) as a kid or found something way too heavy to pick up? Right there are my 2 favourite moves, all this time.

I think people can learn about their bodies just like their minds, and it might help.

 

 

I still remember to work on my body, too. I'm going to start by riding a bike to work.

I also want to introduce strength training into my routine.

 

It's hard at first, but I'm not going to stop.

Thank you for help!