Rebuilding life after 90 days of video games detox.

[Antoni]

Entry 1:

Detox: 

94 days: Video games detox (Streak)
2 days: Social media & YouTube detox (Last streak: 40 days)

Things I did right:
- A 15-minute workout after missing it for 20 days straight.
- Cleaned my room.
- Recorded my expenses for the past few days.

Things I could improve:
- Scheduling my time. 

Reflection:

Creating a new journal entry:
I decided to create a new journal entry as I didn't like how I structured my previous entries. But they are still accessible here, I explained earlier what problems I've been dealing and feeling off even after the 90 days detox.

Life after 90 days of detox:
I stated that I still feel like shit after the 90 days it is because I only improved one aspect of my life, the video games detox. But, I was still engaging in nonsense and mindless scrolling of videos to cope with the stress I've been experiencing at work. I wasn't also building the habits that I wanted to do, I was constantly in a negative state that led to burnout and unsatisfaction of life. I realized that in order to rebuild my life, I have to detox the unending addictive habits I was engrained with and at the same time I must build better habits to cope with stress, and to improve my life. 

Goals moving forward:
I have many things that I want to improve in my life and I'm still figuring out where to start. I want to improve and follow an everyday schedule to be intentional on what should I do, and to avoid procrastinating and overworking near the deadline. I want to learn new skills to improve my career as I've been doing the same thing over the past 6 years. I want to improve my speaking and writing skills. I want to find ways to cope with anxiety, as I've been dealing with this over the past few years. I want to be more confident and be interesting. I want to be the best version of myself, I know these goals could take time to achieve and the habits to achieve this must be done every single day. I hope there will be a time when I'll be proud of myself on what I achieved and how I transformed myself.

Wish me luck.

Edited October 22, 2023 by Grogu

[Antoni]

Entry 2:

Detox: 

95 days: Video games detox (Streak)
3 days: Social media & YouTube detox (Last streak: 40 days)

Things I did right:
- A 5km run.
- Groomed our dog.
- 2 hours Work Pomodoro.

Things I could improve:
- Setting time limit for each task

Reflection:

Rebuilding my habits
I'm currently tracking my habits using an app called "everyday". I like it because it is available on both android and Web, which can be easily synchronized. I'm grateful for the lessons learned when I was in a rough spot, I learned that I should prioritize myself over work.  Today, I wake up early morning at 4:30am and ran for 5km. I did almost all my habits including meditation, workout, time blocking, and waking up early. This is normal since I'm currently motivated to do these habits. However, I'm sure a time will come that I won't be motivated to do the habits, hopefully I can convince myself to be disciplined and to force myself to do the work even though it's just half of a daily goal. Hopefully things will get better this time, and I won't just immediately stop doing my routine like I always did when I'm working on myself or on a goal.

[Antoni]

Entry 3:

Detox: 

96 days: Video games detox (Streak)
4 days: Social media & YouTube detox (Last streak: 40 days)

Things I did right:
- Forced myself to workout for 15 mins.
- Wrote my goals for the next 5 years
- Read a book

Things I could improve:
- Workout longer, record weights and reps

Reflection:

"It's worth remembering that for any change to happen in your life, you must be wrong about something." - Subtle art of not giving a fck 
This quote resonates with me, it says in the book that if you're sitting there and miserable all day, it means that you're already wrong about something major in your life, and until you're able to question to find it, nothing will change. We need to always doubt ourselves on our decisions, careers, relationships, or anything we have go on with our daily lives. We can only improve ourselves if we find that we are wrong about something, that is now time to make a change.

Aug 21-27, 2023 Summary
Used a new habit recorder called "everyday", also restarted and regrouped the habits that I stopped doing. I made these habits to be very easy to do, I'll improve them along the way once I'm comfortable of doing them harder.

Edited August 27, 2023 by Grogu

[Antoni]

Entry 4:

Detox: 

97 days: Video games detox (Streak)
5 days: Social media & YouTube detox (Last streak: 40 days)

Things I did right:
- Meditated for 10 mins
- Forced myself to conquer a 30 mins HIIT cycling workout.

Things I could improve:
- Learn to focus more, eliminate distractions.

Reflection:

Daily Summary.
Woke up feeling groggy, maybe because of the melatonin pill I took last night but did a workout in the morning and I feel better after. I still completed most of the habits today. Hopefully I can build a high streak that It will become a pain to skip the habits than to just do it, that's my goal. 

On changing career.
Tried it months ago but I failed miserably. I don't know if I'm very much attached to my current identity that I cannot make a change, or if I just didn't try that hard and just wanted the glory of being successful in that field and doesn't want to experience the pain in learning in the process. I still don't have a path that I'm very passionate about, I'm still confused but I decided to just stick to my current field and to just upskill to improve my current state. Another goal in the future is to be good in what I do that I can't be ignored by any employer.
 

[wheatbiscuit]

14 hours ago, Grogu said:

On changing career.
Tried it months ago but I failed miserably. I don't know if I'm very much attached to my current identity that I cannot make a change, or if I just didn't try that hard and just wanted the glory of being successful in that field and doesn't want to experience the pain in learning in the process. I still don't have a path that I'm very passionate about, I'm still confused but I decided to just stick to my current field and to just upskill to improve my current state. Another goal in the future is to be good in what I do that I can't be ignored by any employer.
 

I made pizzas for 9.5 years until last September. I was into it, and later had a passion for it, largely because of gaming and team-gaming. Changing to personal training/gym instruction this year was my objective -  while I know that if I'm tasked with working with beginners who'd probably have a huge curiosity and determination to find out what their bodies can do and that it would jerk me awake to their situation, my own workouts are doing one or two things only for 60-90 minutes. It feels like the only thing that could move me to parading around the room and exerting maximum energy on 10+ things as I go would be certified mania or some kind of environmental catastrophe. lol

Learning in general was always painful IMO - whether it was frustration by being out-gamed or out-debated online, having to sit still and try to like/admire teachers in classrooms, the odd confrontation or just having my interest piqued and being unable to control myself until the lesson was complete.

I think initiative is your best friend whenever trying to impress someone holding an opportunity for a worthy recipient. Showcasing your awareness on the social/political/economic front while asking a bunch of questions on how things are done around the workplace, and then trying to get a tour of some sort is how things might work well. 

Having a recently (under half a year) shifted mindset from gaming makes what identity is still there hard to pin down. I remember doing all that I've done in the restaurant, but the same kind of energy I had wouldn't be there for awhile, plus a lot of things are different. Up-skilling is a good idea, though when I think of moving up that hierarchy from operations to middle-management/knowledge working, I think of a lot of administration/negotiation and discomfort/growth - and there's the social consequences of that too. But, if you can re-clarify your values in a new career as a kind of exercise like reasons for gaming/not gaming by writing them down in a cover letter on your resume or even to recite to people at social gatherings for that interest, you might start to be moved by that belief. 

Whatever isn't going to destroy one's soul is a good start! 😛 

[Antoni]

Entry 4:

Detox: 

98 days: Video games detox (Streak)
6 days: Social media & YouTube detox (Last streak: 40 days)

Things I did right:
- Ran for 5km even when it's raining.
- Assisting my SO to her errands. 

Things I could improve:
- Always schedule time, including errands. 

Reflection:

Daily Summary (08-29-23: Tuesday).
I slept only for 6 hours, maybe because I had a sip of redbull yesterday. I feel okay today, and was tired assisting my SO to her errands. But, it was worth it since we had lots of talks and laughs. I'm grateful to have her in my life because I'm a different person when I'm with her. I feel better, I smile and laugh a lot, jokes a lot, and I like myself with I'm with her.

On changing careers.

6 hours ago, wheatbiscuit said:

Having a recently (under half a year) shifted mindset from gaming makes what identity is still there hard to pin down. I remember doing all that I've done in the restaurant, but the same kind of energy I had wouldn't be there for awhile, plus a lot of things are different. Up-skilling is a good idea, though when I think of moving up that hierarchy from operations to middle-management/knowledge working, I think of a lot of administration/negotiation and discomfort/growth - and there's the social consequences of that too. But, if you can re-clarify your values in a new career as a kind of exercise like reasons for gaming/not gaming by writing them down in a cover letter on your resume or even to recite to people at social gatherings for that interest, you might start to be moved by that belief. 

Whatever isn't going to destroy one's soul is a good start! 😛 

Thank you for the advice @wheatbiscuit, I appreciate you sharing your story here.  I have multiple career paths in mind and I have not decided yet but I lean towards a career that I can get a higher chance of migrating with, as I want to improve my quality of life and find better opportunities abroad. Over the past few years, I wasn't spending any time learning new skills or upskilled with my current career it's because of procrastination and addiction to video games, and youtube. Now that I'm detoxing my bad habits and also journaling regularly, I hope things will get better and I'll be trying to learn new skills again in the future. Probably around 2 months from now because I'm still prioritizing my sleep, exercise, meditation, and other habits that can reduce my stress and anxiety for the next 30 days. 
 
I'll update here from time to time, I'll let you know 😄.

[Antoni]

Entry 5:

Detox: 

99 days: Video games detox (Streak)
7 days: Social media & YouTube detox (Last streak: 40 days)

Things I did right:
- Forced myself to do a 15-min workout
- Woke up at 5am, meditated immediately.

Things I could improve:
- Prioritizing most important tasks first

Reflection:

Daily Summary (08-30-23: Wednesday).
Slept for 8 hours but was still sleepy. Ended up forcing myself to get out of the bed to start my day. Things went well, but I haven't been working with my projects over the past 2 days due to my girlfriend arriving from another city. I'll definitely will start again tomorrow.

I wasn't working overtime.
I had a realization after recording my focus hours from an app called "forest". I figured out that I wasn't working overtime last month when I was burnt out and things went rough, I was procrastinating all week then put all hours I can give to complete a project, 1-3 days before the deadline. This caused for me to overwork for a few days. I'm currently working to improve my schedule and time management, hopefully this would not happen again.

[Antoni]

Entry 6:

Detox: 

100 days: Video games detox (Streak)
8 days: Social media & YouTube detox (Target: 30 days)

Things I did right:
- Woke up 30 mins late than my target time, but still marked check the habit since I was able to force myself to run 5km in a hot,
and traffic environment since I started running around 6am already.
- Recorded and analyzed my monthly expenses.
- Was able to get back on track working on projects.

Things I could improve:
- Should start running around 5am, past 6am the sun is already too hot, and the city is already really crowded and traffic. 

Reflection:

Daily Summary (08-31-23: Thursday).
I feel satisfied, but anxious of the future. I'm still writing my goals, and the ways on how I can achieve it. I feel definitely better than a week ago. I also managed to increase my sleep time by 2 hours and was waking up 3 hours earlier compared to last week. I still have a lot to improve especially on managing my time. I was able to time block and schedule my time but sometimes I tend to spend too much time on something or too little in my planned schedule. 

I'm grateful for the money I saved for the past few years, it's not a lot but I was able to save for the rainy days and for the future goals I want to achieve. I sometimes say that I wasn't lucky to have a freelancing career since I'm missing out on corporate experience. But I was saving much more here in freelancing than doing a corporate office job. I may be able to do my dream of looking for better opportunities abroad in the future.

[Antoni]

Entry 7:

Detox: 

101 days: Video games detox (Streak)
9 days: Social media & YouTube detox (Target: 30 days)

Things I did right:
- Forced myself to do a 15 min weights workout
- Did all my habits that I was building.

Things I could improve:
- Should push through and do the work even if unmotivated
- I had plenty of time but didn't utilize it.

Reflection:

Daily Summary (09-01-23: Friday).
Slept 8 hours + but I feel tired and unmotivated all day. I consider this one a bad day, I can't seem to make myself to do my projects. I should push myself through even though I'm not motivated to do the tasks. I should have done short 25 min pomodoro's to get started and show up on my scheduled time. I wasn't man enough to push through stress, I should prioritize this habit, the habit of pushing myself through tiredness and unmotivated. I think this is the result of being burnt out and stressed over the past few weeks.

Another possible cause of this low energy is sleep debt. I was only sleeping 6 hours and 40 mins on average for the past 4 months.  I usually can function fully if I have 8-9 hours of full sleep. I'm currently making adjustments and I'm sleeping earlier and having 7-9 hours of sleep per day for over a week now. Hopefully I can stick to this habit.

Monthly Summary (August).
August was a roller coaster ride. I started the month not tracking anything. I was procrastinating all the time and doing projects at the last minute of deadline. I was burnt out, and not really feeling good. I realized this too late and was making changes in the last week of August. I'm currently continuing having progress of the changes I made. I'm tracking my habits and money now, I also journal regularly and recorded my working, learning, and workout hours. Hopefully I can continue doing these habits and I can make it part of my system. 

Here is the current progress of my habits, I also made a change in 1 habit, I started tracking the habit of being in bed before 8pm, instead of waking up early. This would be a lot easier for me to wake up earlier. 

[Antoni]

Entry 8:

Detox: 

102 days: Video games detox (Streak)
0 day: Social media & YouTube detox (Relapse)

Things I did right:
- Woke up early and ran 7.8km 
- Work for 4 Pomodoros (50 mins each)

Things I could improve:
- Youtube Relapse because I was scheduling to unblock youtube every saturday. I'll set a new goal tomorrow.
- Still so much wasted time, but It's better than yesterday.

Reflection:

Daily Summary (09-02-23: Friday).
I feel good after my morning run, but I was tired throughout the day. I'm still figuring out how to solve my tiredness. Maybe It's because my body and mind were adapting to the change, I made for the last 10 days. There are still ups and downs, but I figured it is part of the process of changing one's identity. It's not really quick and easy to just change overnight, this would be an everyday process to keep having better decisions. As for the youtube relapse, I wasn't feeling bad about it since I scheduled my app blockers to unblock it every Saturday. I wanted to explore youtube again but minus the unhealthy and mindless scrolling behavior. I'll be looking for an app to remove the search bar and the home page, and I can just watch from the selected youtube channels that will help me in my journey of self-development. Maybe I will change the youtube detox to no mindless scrolling and useless videos.

Edited September 2, 2023 by Grogu

[Antoni]

Entry 9:

Detox: 

104 days: Video games detox (Streak)
1 day: No useless videos

Things I did right:
- Washed my laundry
- Time blocked and followed it.
- Revised a project

Things I could improve:
- Being clear on what to accomplish in the morning

Reflection:

Using YouTube again after 40 days, and another 10 days of detox. 
I decided it to use YouTube again but only for self-development videos, and for learning. All useless videos will be considered as a relapse, and I can only use YouTube at within 4pm to 8pm time range as these are my learning hours. I'll only allow videos that are for self-development, learning new skills, and for podcasts. I'll also use extensions such as "unhook" to remove the home page, notifications, recommendations, trending, and other addicting aspects of YouTube. Also "shortsblocker" to block all shorts videos in youtube.

I've realized that I don't have a strong craving for useless videos anymore, I can avoid the useless ones and watch self-development videos instead. Today I've restructured my goals into long, medium, and short term, and I also incorporated a yearly planning, and a daily highlight which I learned all from Ali Abdaal's youtube videos. I'll also plan to do a notion second brain system in maybe a few days. 

09-03-23 (Sunday) to 09-04-23 (Monday) Summary:
Sunday was okay, I did some home stuffs that occupied me for a day. I could've planned my sunday better to relax and restore my energy for the next week. Today, I slept for 8 hours and woke up feeling good and energized. I was doing some chores in the morning and I worked on projects in the afternoon. I'm starting to feel that I can focus better now than a week ago. I managed to work some projects, but the number of working hours is still not the standard I wanted but it's still better than a week ago. One adjustment I made was to focus on how I can start the work, and just start working in 1 - pomodoro (25 mins) and rest for 5 mins. 

I was struggling to just start the work and I usually had a 50 min pomodoro, which I think it's too difficult for me to accomplish right now at post burn out, 25 min pomodoro works for me at the moment. Another adjustment I plan to make is to do the most difficult tasks first thing in the morning. I usually do the easiest one, and avoid the most scary tasks but I think it's keeping me procrastinate on the things that are important to me and the things that I value which are usually the most difficult, like learning new skill. 


 

[Antoni]

Entry 10:

Detox: 

105 days: Video games detox (Streak)
2 days: No useless videos

Things I did right:
- Ran 5k early morning
- Completed 10 Pomodoro's (25 mins)
- Submitted a project

Things I could improve:
- Finding ways to restore energy after work

Reflection:

Daily Summary (09-05-23: Tuesday).
Today was just great, ran 5km in the morning, and I followed almost all the time block I've set to accomplish today. I think I found my momentum and I was in a state of flow most of the time. The two ideas that worked for me and made me productive this week is first, the idea of doing the things you've set to do regardless of how you feel, second is scheduling the things you wanted to do in time blocks, third is being realistic about the length of each task, and fourth is just starting the work and just do one thing and focus on that. I hope I can continue this momentum in the next few days.

[Antoni]

Entry 11:

Detox: 

106 days: Video games detox (Streak)
0 days: No useless videos

Things I did right:
- Weight Lifting for 20 mins
- Completed 7 Pomodoro's (25 mins)
- Completed my daily highlight

Things I could improve:
- I didn't plan for the second half of my day. Once my tasks finished around 2pm, I was confused what task to tackle next and was reading books instead. I also didn't plan what should I learn today, instead I watched podcast clips on YouTube. Which some of them are useless, that's why I reset my streak to learn the lesson. 
 

[Antoni]

Entry 12:

Detox: 

107 days: Video games detox (Streak)
1 day: No useless videos

Things I did right:
- Weight Lifting for 15 mins
- Completed and submitted all projects

Things I could improve:
- I could've manage my emotions better today, I was irritable all day due to short and low sleep quality. 

Reflection:

Ill be away for a few days for a short vacation! 

[TheNewMe2.0]

On 8/25/2023 at 9:43 AM, Grogu said:

Entry 1:

Detox: 

94 days: Video games detox (Streak)
2 days: Social media & YouTube detox (Last streak: 40 days)

Things I did right:
- A 15-minute workout after missing it for 20 days straight.
- Cleaned my room.
- Recorded my expenses for the past few days.

Things I could improve:
- Scheduling my time. 

Reflection:

Creating a new journal entry:
I decided to create a new journal entry as I didn't like how I structured my previous entries. But they are still accessible here, I explained earlier what problems I've been dealing and feeling off even after the 90 days detox.

Life after 90 days of detox:
I stated that I still feel like shit after the 90 days it is because I only improved one aspect of my life, the video games detox. But, I was still engaging in nonsense and mindless scrolling of videos to cope with the stress I've been experiencing at work. I wasn't also building the habits that I wanted to do, I was constantly in a negative state that led to burnout and unsatisfaction of life. I realized that in order to rebuild my life, I have to detox the unending addictive habits I was engrained with and at the same time I must build better habits to cope with stress, and to improve my life. 

Goals moving forward:
I have many things that I want to improve in my life and I'm still figuring out where to start. I want to improve and follow an everyday schedule to be intentional on what should I do, and to avoid procrastinating and overworking near the deadline. I want to learn new skills to improve my career as I've been doing the same thing over the past 6 years. I want to improve my speaking and writing skills. I want to find ways to cope with anxiety, as I've been dealing with this over the past few years. I want to be more confident and be interesting. I want to be the best version of myself, I know these goals could take time to achieve and the habits to achieve this must be done every single day. I hope there will be a time when I'll be proud of myself on what I achieved and how I transformed myself.

Wish me luck.

Hey good luck. 😄

 

Did you checkouts CBT workbooks or worksheets? That's basically one of the best mental health things you can do for anxiety which you've probably at least heard of already. I kind of wanted to get a CBT workbook just to work on again.

 

What's your reason for getting off youtube?

Are you getting off like all TV as well?

I'd be so much more well read and the house would be so clean and I'd cook way more if I wasn't watching TV. Darn. Maybe I could try to limit tv to like one episode a day or something. Just to connect with others over it. Shoot. Why'd we invent TV? lol

 

[Amphibian220]

In one of your first posts you have stated that you want to be confident and interesting to people. Can you state if you have achieved progress in that regard as a result of your work?

I struggle with initiative, entering conflicts and detecting my real emotions and expressing them in an easy to understand manner. I wonder what are the barriers to becoming more confident. Perhaps being honest myself

Edited October 6, 2023 by Amphibian220

[Antoni]

Entry 13:

Hi everyone, I've been away here for a while. After my vacation in September, I decided to journal on my own to express my thoughts without limits. I use a life changing system called "Second Brain", which helped me to decide what I really wanted in my life. It is a complete system that includes daily tasks, journals, goals, projects, and more. I specifically used Thomas Frank's "The Ultimate Second Brain". 

Anyways, things are good but everyday is a work in progress. I'm still dealing with anxieties and procrastination, but I think I found a better way of coping it. I used "Urge Surfing" now to try and combat the strong force in my mind which is called "resistance" by Steven Pressfield's book "The War of Art". I use it to avoid procrastination and to keep surfing from the urges of changing tasks, if the task on hand is difficult. To keep surfing as well from the urges to relapse in video games addiction, and to mindless scrolling or watching useless videos. 

My whole September was fun and mostly spent my time with my SO and friends. I realized that I haven't been hanging out with friends for a very long time, and hanging out with them again just filled my heart with so much joy and love. I'll try to schedule a time with friends atleast once a month, to hang out and to catch up. I mean, there is no better feeling than laughing and talking with the people you care about. 

After my vacation ended in the last week of September, I struggle to be back on my usual habits, so some of my daily rituals and habits were not implemented, also the anxieties and procrastination were back. So, I have to adjust everyday and keep on improving my well-being since the start of October. 

As of the moment, things are better but there are still more things to improve on. For the future, I'll be back posting here from time to time, maybe it will be a weekly ritual. I also would like to apologize to @TheNewMe2.0  and @Amphibian220 for the very late replies. 

 

@TheNewMe2.0

On 10/3/2023 at 10:31 AM, TheNewMe2.0 said:

Did you checkouts CBT workbooks or worksheets? That's basically one of the best mental health things you can do for anxiety which you've probably at least heard of already. I kind of wanted to get a CBT workbook just to work on again.

Hi, I think I heard of it but I haven't tried it yet. May I ask which CBT workbook works for you?
 

On 10/3/2023 at 10:31 AM, TheNewMe2.0 said:

What's your reason for getting off youtube?

Are you getting off like all TV as well?

I'd be so much more well read and the house would be so clean and I'd cook way more if I wasn't watching TV. Darn. Maybe I could try to limit tv to like one episode a day or something. Just to connect with others over it. Shoot. Why'd we invent TV? lol

I think I have this addictive personality; I can get easily addicted to everything that can numb life. Anything from social media, youtube, and even unhealthy snacks, If I have them on my computer or phone, I cannot stop myself to use them to procrastinate, and to avoid work. I tried using "Unhook" which blocks most of the addictive features of youtube and just use it for learning and self improvement. But, I still easily get stuck in the rabbit hole, especially when I'm in emotional crisis or days which I have anxieties. 

Right now, I've blocked youtube to my phone and computer, I still plan to use them in the future but I'll be really intentional on what I'll watch. On TV's, I still watch shows and movies that I love, especially starwars and marvel shows. But I try to schedule them on my calendar when I don't have deadlines and I'm free to relax.  Yes, an episode a day wouldn't hurt. 😄

@Amphibian220

On 10/6/2023 at 11:46 AM, Amphibian220 said:

In one of your first posts you have stated that you want to be confident and interesting to people. Can you state if you have achieved progress in that regard as a result of your work?

I struggle with initiative, entering conflicts and detecting my real emotions and expressing them in an easy to understand manner. I wonder what are the barriers to becoming more confident. Perhaps being honest myself

Hi, with regards to being interesting, I didn't have much progress yet but I think it all boils down on what habits you're interested in. I think reading non-fiction, engaging in habits, and learning different topics that I've been interested in, sometimes help in engaging conversation with people. I also try to avoid thinking about what to say and what I shouldn't say. I learned that I have more anxiety in a conversation if I think about not being awkward and watching all my moves all the time. I instead just talk my heart out, but ofcourse, I also feel the conversation and being empathetic of the person I'm engaging with. 

I still need more practice, I'm a massive introvert and also I'm just working from my home so engaging conversation is very difficult to me. One solution I've been thinking is joining English-practice discord channels, as most of the people there just want to practice speaking, so engaging with them wouldn't be so difficult I believe, and there is also less friction when leaving a call, so practicing there would be helpful.

Also, being confident is trusting yourself that you're gonna achieve what you want, not just the things you want, but also the skills you want to improve in the future. 
 

Thank you @TheNewMe2.0, and @Amphibian220 for these conversations, I appreciate you both! 

 

Edited October 11, 2023 by Grogu

[FDRx7]

8 hours ago, Grogu said:

I still need more practice, I'm a massive introvert and also I'm just working from my home so engaging conversation is very difficult to me.

I think you're right. I also work from home and have discovered my ability to have in-person conversations have suffered a bit. They are getting better, but I have to be more intentional about seeing people to address this. Afterall, practice makes perfect - and I think I've been out of practice. I feel you on this one!

[TheNewMe2.0]

On 10/11/2023 at 12:02 AM, Grogu said:

Entry 13:

Hi everyone, I've been away here for a while. After my vacation in September, I decided to journal on my own to express my thoughts without limits. I use a life changing system called "Second Brain", which helped me to decide what I really wanted in my life. It is a complete system that includes daily tasks, journals, goals, projects, and more. I specifically used Thomas Frank's "The Ultimate Second Brain". 

Anyways, things are good but everyday is a work in progress. I'm still dealing with anxieties and procrastination, but I think I found a better way of coping it. I used "Urge Surfing" now to try and combat the strong force in my mind which is called "resistance" by Steven Pressfield's book "The War of Art". I use it to avoid procrastination and to keep surfing from the urges of changing tasks, if the task on hand is difficult. To keep surfing as well from the urges to relapse in video games addiction, and to mindless scrolling or watching useless videos. 

My whole September was fun and mostly spent my time with my SO and friends. I realized that I haven't been hanging out with friends for a very long time, and hanging out with them again just filled my heart with so much joy and love. I'll try to schedule a time with friends atleast once a month, to hang out and to catch up. I mean, there is no better feeling than laughing and talking with the people you care about. 

After my vacation ended in the last week of September, I struggle to be back on my usual habits, so some of my daily rituals and habits were not implemented, also the anxieties and procrastination were back. So, I have to adjust everyday and keep on improving my well-being since the start of October. 

As of the moment, things are better but there are still more things to improve on. For the future, I'll be back posting here from time to time, maybe it will be a weekly ritual. I also would like to apologize to @TheNewMe2.0  and @Amphibian220 for the very late replies. 

 

@TheNewMe2.0

Hi, I think I heard of it but I haven't tried it yet. May I ask which CBT workbook works for you?
 

I think I have this addictive personality; I can get easily addicted to everything that can numb life. Anything from social media, youtube, and even unhealthy snacks, If I have them on my computer or phone, I cannot stop myself to use them to procrastinate, and to avoid work. I tried using "Unhook" which blocks most of the addictive features of youtube and just use it for learning and self improvement. But, I still easily get stuck in the rabbit hole, especially when I'm in emotional crisis or days which I have anxieties. 

Right now, I've blocked youtube to my phone and computer, I still plan to use them in the future but I'll be really intentional on what I'll watch. On TV's, I still watch shows and movies that I love, especially starwars and marvel shows. But I try to schedule them on my calendar when I don't have deadlines and I'm free to relax.  Yes, an episode a day wouldn't hurt. 😄

@Amphibian220

Hi, with regards to being interesting, I didn't have much progress yet but I think it all boils down on what habits you're interested in. I think reading non-fiction, engaging in habits, and learning different topics that I've been interested in, sometimes help in engaging conversation with people. I also try to avoid thinking about what to say and what I shouldn't say. I learned that I have more anxiety in a conversation if I think about not being awkward and watching all my moves all the time. I instead just talk my heart out, but ofcourse, I also feel the conversation and being empathetic of the person I'm engaging with. 

I still need more practice, I'm a massive introvert and also I'm just working from my home so engaging conversation is very difficult to me. One solution I've been thinking is joining English-practice discord channels, as most of the people there just want to practice speaking, so engaging with them wouldn't be so difficult I believe, and there is also less friction when leaving a call, so practicing there would be helpful.

Also, being confident is trusting yourself that you're gonna achieve what you want, not just the things you want, but also the skills you want to improve in the future. 
 

Thank you @TheNewMe2.0, and @Amphibian220 for these conversations, I appreciate you both! 

 

Ohh, I did some CBT workbook by harbinger, but it wasn't even all that popular I think it was good at teaching me about anxiety though. I also read CBT made simple which is more popular.

[Antoni]

Entry 14:

Detox: 
0 day: No useless videos

I've been slacking off for the past few days and I can't get past my useless videos/YouTube addiction. I cannot get past the 2-week mark. I'll be back journaling almost every day here now, as I find it more helpful and motivating than journaling on my own. I try do both if possible. I've been procrastinating a lot lately and I think I'm on a rut. I cannot get things done, and deadlines are approaching, and I have a little to no progress. Hopefully journaling back here can help me, have the accountability to do what I should have done.

After consuming a lot of self-help videos and books, I think I have the knowledge to do the right things, I just have to work on execution and showing up everyday. I have to improve on not relying on my emotions. Almost every day, I feel like I don't want to work or to exercise, but I have to show up and do them regardless of how I feel. Also, I think I should just start doing what I'm supposed to do, rather than waiting motivation to show up. I'm fucking old and I'm struggling with discipline. I have to work myself now or be a loser in the future.

I have to get shit done!!!!!!!!!

 

[Antoni]

Entry 15:

Detox: 
1 day: No useless videos (best streak: 40 days)

Things I did right:
- Followed all the things I've added in my time block
- Did meditation, exercise, and reading
- Did my daily highlight

Things I could improve:
- I started too late to work on my daily goals. I should move and start my day as soon as I wake up.

Daily Summary: How well did I stick to today’s plan? How do I feel and why do I feel that way?
I did all the things I’ve added in my time block. I was very productive and didn’t waste much time procrastinating. Hopefully, I can have this type of drive and motivation every day. I feel satisfied and happy, because I did what I was supposed to do this day. I have no urge to procrastinate or to watch useless videos. 

Changing my name
I changed my name from Grogu to Antoni, to match my name from the game quitter's discord server.

Edited October 23, 2023 by Antoni

[Antoni]

Entry 16:

Detox: 
2 days: No useless videos (best streak: 40 days)

Things I did right:

• Did my morning routine well.
• Progress to projects.
• Meditate, yoga, and read.

Things I could improve:

• I should improve on adding again a learning session to upskill my career.

Daily Summary: How well did I stick to today’s plan? How do I feel and why do I feel that way?

• I followed all of my time blocks, did around 8 50-mins Pomodoro sessions for work. I’m very satisfied today. Although the cravings to procrastinate are very strong today, maybe because I have a lot of deadlines approaching and my brain needed the comfort to slow down and to not do the work. I didn’t give in to the temptation though, that’s the good thing.
• I also did a 20-min yoga session, after a really long time. I was sweating a lot but felt dizzy afterwards. Hopefully I can get back to running again, I miss it so much, but my sleep schedule is totally fucked up these past few weeks as I want to run really early in the morning. In our area, it is really bad to run in the afternoon because of the traffic and pollution. I hate living here. Hopefully I can transfer anywhere else soon where there is less pollution, and I can do anything I want.

Edited October 23, 2023 by Antoni

[Antoni]

Entry 17:

Yesterday marks my 6th month of video games detox. 

I've been away because updating here daily seems too much work for me. But, I'd like to share my progress in video detoxing and what happened over the past few months. 

6 Months of No gaming

1st month - Feeling really good.

2nd month - Starting to get bored / was addicted to YouTube.

3rd month - Trying to get rid of YouTube but failed due to stress and overtime at work.

4th month - Trying to improve my sleep, and workout but still not consistent.

5th to 6th month - Best month so far

• Got rid of YouTube entirely - replaced it with books, podcasts, and articles.
• Streaks on habits - consistent sleep schedule, workout schedule, and learning schedule.
• Scheduling my time on everything - managed my workload at work to avoid overtime.
• Read more books & consistent meditation practice.
• Really productive and satisfying days.

Something just clicked and everything just falling in at the right place this month. I think the past few months of efforts, trying to build new habits, failing, getting back up and doing it again, and failing to be consistent but I never stop trying, the learnings in my attempts to have better habits seem compounded. I focused on multiple habits such as time blocking, meditating, reading, exercising, and sleeping and waking up at the same time, these habits I would say are the pillars of my well-being. If I did these habits, the day seemed to be more satisfying than not doing them.

Here is my month so far:

I don't know how long the streak would last but even if I fell off the wagon once again, I'll still continue to try to be better and improve whatever is the new standard of mine. I also would try to post at least weekly here to update my streaks and what happened with my life. I'm grateful for this community since everyone seems very supportive to one another. I also wouldn't attempt to quit games and improve my life if I didn't join the community. 

 

Edited November 20, 2023 by Antoni

[FDRx7]

This is great and very encouraging! Keep it up! I love the habit tracker, too. I may switch to this one after my 90 days are up.

[Antoni]

10 hours ago, FDRx7 said:

This is great and very encouraging! Keep it up! I love the habit tracker, too. I may switch to this one after my 90 days are up.

Thank you @FDRx7, I appreciate it. I've been using different habit/task trackers over the past few years like notion, habitica, todoist, and habit app, I think this app is the best out there, because of the streaks, you can see your past failures or successes easily, also it is available both for mobile and PC. 

Edited November 21, 2023 by Antoni