Jump to content
×
×
  • Create New...

NEW VIDEO: A Wasted Time (The Truth About Gaming)

Game Over


Wildermyth
 Share

Recommended Posts

This will be my second and final journal thread. It will work as a new starting point for my ultimate goal, which is to quit gaming for good. As I reflected on in my previous journal I've come to realize that I want to make this a lifetime commitment and not a temporary challenge. I respect those who try to work towards a goal within a set time frame, but for me this only means that I'm biding my time until I can relapse again. This has to be a lifestyle choice for me and something that I put all my being into in order to grow into the person I've always hoped to become.

I'm writing this from a position of strength currently which I'm thankful for. I've just bought myself a camera and I'm planning a hiking trip abroad this summer. I've always longed to travel alone to some foreign country where I just focus on myself and the experience. I've yet to decide where I'm gonna go to but it will most likely be a european country with lots of beautiful nature.

Lately I've been listening to nordic folk music which is great for meditating or long walks in the forest. I'll share one of my favourite songs below if anyone's interested. 💚

 

 

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I always quitted for 90 days as a goal, but I never thought about actual going back after achieving that goal. Its just a way to count your days in, and celebrate the goals. I dont think anyone with a real addiction can moderate or change their lifestyle ob the long run if they dont quit gaming for good. There are many examples here. So I think your decision is good!

 

Good luck

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

18 hours ago, Lobares2 said:

I always quitted for 90 days as a goal, but I never thought about actual going back after achieving that goal. Its just a way to count your days in, and celebrate the goals. I dont think anyone with a real addiction can moderate or change their lifestyle ob the long run if they dont quit gaming for good. There are many examples here. So I think your decision is good!

 

Good luck

It's great to set up some milestones along the way and celebrate your achievements as you say. I've made a bad habit out of keeping track of most things in my life so for me it creates a lot of tension where I bring myself down if I stumble ever so slightly. It becomes almost an obsession in itself and it quickly transforms into a beast that is similar to the one that consumes me when I play video games. Gaming for me is a world of control and when I'm not able to use it I will lash out and seek control elsewhere. Needless to say it becomes rather destructive and ironically the feeling of control is almost never there. So while I'm trying to give myself some leeway with various other activities, in order to release some of that tension, I'm also doing the balancing act of keeping gaming away as far as possible. It's a struggle I will have to deal with for the rest of my life and I'm learning to accept that.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I learnt today that there is a support group for game addicts here in Sweden. It’s free of charge and they meet online two times a week. It sounds like something I really need right now because I want to come in contact with people from my own country that has this issue. So far our government hasn’t recognized game addiction as an actual diagnosis, even though the healthcare is seeing an alarming increase in people who need help for their excessive gaming habits. It’s bound to be recognized and I want to be part of that beginning as much as I can. I have so much to share and also so much more to learn about myself. 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Have been losing focus today and thought a lot about buying a new PS5. I even installed the phone app and started adding a lot of games to my wishlist. But as I did I was overcome with this feeling of not wanting to game. It suddenly felt like a chore to start it all up again and I instead thought about the joy of skiing and taking photos with my new camera.
 

It takes a toll on me to be thrown around between these opposite emotions. It feels very conflicting and confusing, even though I’m happy that I end up in a positive state at the end. I did not experience this the first time I quit so it’s all a bit new to me. I suppose this is exactly what it feels like to try to battle addiction. You have a side to you that does everything to take control and you have to go through the process of rationalizing and arguing with that side, to the point where it almost feels easier to just let go and let it take over.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I usually refrain from writing this but I've concluded after some talk with my closest ones that I'm not ready to make this commitment in my life now. There is a large part of me that wants to have a healthy relationship with gaming and I don't know if it's possible, but at the moment I don't have the willpower to resist these urges to continue playing. It's such a big part of my DNA at this point that it feels like breaking myself in half. It's a bit sad I guess but I want to be honest with everyone, and most of all myself. I'm still gonna visit the forum of course and take inspiration from everyone who write here but I will most likely not make some new posts until I make more sense of this detour and how it affects me.

 

Stay strong all. 💚

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Best of luck. I am starting my journey with the classic idea of time commitments. With hard stops. I hope you the best in becoming how you want to be.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 1/19/2023 at 2:56 PM, Wildermyth said:

Have been losing focus today and thought a lot about buying a new PS5. I even installed the phone app and started adding a lot of games to my wishlist. But as I did I was overcome with this feeling of not wanting to game. It suddenly felt like a chore to start it all up again and I instead thought about the joy of skiing and taking photos with my new camera.
 

It takes a toll on me to be thrown around between these opposite emotions. It feels very conflicting and confusing, even though I’m happy that I end up in a positive state at the end. I did not experience this the first time I quit so it’s all a bit new to me. I suppose this is exactly what it feels like to try to battle addiction. You have a side to you that does everything to take control and you have to go through the process of rationalizing and arguing with that side, to the point where it almost feels easier to just let go and let it take over.

Unfortunately you misinterpreted this. This wasnt the actual battle, this was the first step of the relapse. After I read this post I knew the relapse is near especially since you are unexpierienced with the detox. Before you start gaming again and falling back to addiction u usually do some small steps towards it like watching game content or in your case preparing your next gaming session(without the intention to actually play) Just wanted to write this so you know it for next time

The real battle is to never go one tiny step towards the relapse trap

Good luck,

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 1/21/2023 at 6:03 AM, Lobares2 said:

Unfortunately you misinterpreted this. This wasnt the actual battle, this was the first step of the relapse. After I read this post I knew the relapse is near especially since you are unexpierienced with the detox. Before you start gaming again and falling back to addiction u usually do some small steps towards it like watching game content or in your case preparing your next gaming session(without the intention to actually play) Just wanted to write this so you know it for next time

The real battle is to never go one tiny step towards the relapse trap

Good luck,

Yeah, I guess the snowball effect was inevitable when I started to let go just slightly. It takes a lot of time to strengthen your mindset and resist those urges, but it gets better with time as I experienced with my 90 day detox. I'm just so disappointed that I wasted the opportunity and went back to game when I was on a roll. But thanks for giving me the perspective of when a relapse actually occurs.

On the flipside I'm currently finding immense joy in trying to learn how to ski and this has naturally steered me away from gaming. It feels so much more meaningful and it has all the components of a healthy activity. I've always dreamt of being able to ski down a really grandiose mountain and it's a powerful feeling to finally be on this path. I'm also looking forward to spring and summer so I can take more photos with my new camera. Next week I'm starting a photo course after work and I hope to make some friends there.

Edited by Wildermyth
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share