Max 500 Posted January 4 Share Posted January 4 So a big chunk of my life has ended with my 90 day gaming detox. I managed to quit and lose any desire to play. But it doesn't mean that I'm satisfied with it. I am empty. I suffer from loneliness and lack of discipline, I have no purpose either. My goals are vague and I don't do much to accomplish them. Quitting games was just the first step, now I need to fill my life with something healthy and meaningful. During these 3 months I've done pretty good. I've made quite a few programming projects, including web application and a 2D video game (I don't count my own game made from scratch as gaming, I've never actually played it after development). I also read quite a bit and a started going outside every day. My most recent activity is learning math. So I'd say I'm doing pretty okay. But it's definitely not enough, I want more. I wanna make it clear about my relationship with gaming from now on: I will never play Overwatch ever again; when it comes to other games, I don't care. I might play if I want to, let's say in a company somewhere, but right now I have no desire to even try. But I won't treat playing other games as a relapse. What am I gonna do next? I want to do another detox! As it says in the title, I have to move on. My next biggest addiction is YouTube. I don't use any other social media, but YouTube is a real waste of time. I think I've been watching it almost daily since 2011 or 2012. To be honest I've learnt quite a lot from it, it's a good resource for guides and teaching, but I want to at least have a break from it, so I will delete it from all my devices. But I'll have one exception: if I encounter a problem and a relevant solution from google search is on YouTube, I'll watch. As a tech nerd I google a lot, so I need YouTube guides to make my life a bit easier. That's all for now. I feel like I want to return to dumb Nokia phone in the future to do a full dopamine detox, but I think it's too much to do everything at once. I have to take it slow. I also have to develop a studying routine, fitness routine and something for socializing, but I think it's too much for a single post and for a single day. I'm on a holiday for a week, I will try to study a bit, read a bit and maybe do something for fitness. I want to try things so I would be able to set adequate goals and make a schedule. In my last journal I said that I don't need this forum anymore and that I'm leaving. So why am I writing this here? Well I still have a lot of things to work on and I like the idea of a personal development journal to make my goals more concrete, also I like writing in English I guess. I don't think that I will write here daily, but I'm open to experiment. We'll see how it goes. When I just started my first journal here in 2020 I've been seeking for attention, treated this forum as a social media. I wanted likes and replies. Right now that's absolutely irrelevant, I'm doing my own thing mainly for myself, if it'll help someone who's just starting it's a plus, but ain't my motivation. When I was writing daily in my last journal this year, I noticed that no one has replied to me in a month, and I was pleasantly surprised because it was so unrelated to my goals, that I noticed it only after about 20 days of writing. I think it shows my maturity, that what I'm doing has a real value, not just a cheap show off. Other than that I'm still an idiot lol. 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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