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  1. Hello everyone, my name is Karolis, I am a 25 years old man from Lithuania. I have been playing video games from a young age of 6 years old when i first got a computer in my household. My parents were limiting my play time to 1 hour a day, so i had a pretty good childhood and decent teen years, but as my age increased the limits set by my parents kind of disappeared and and i got myself completely into video games. Even though back then i had a group of very close friends and did hang outside fairly often. Another problem was that from a young age I was shy and had problems meeting new people and starting conversations with them. In highschool i started playing FPS games competitively and started hanging out with my friends a lot less. I was pretty much spending all my free time just sitting in front of my computer and playing without a care in the world. After school our group of friends split up to go to universities/colleges in different cities/countries, so I was left pretty much alone. What was i gonna do? I dedicated even more of my time on video games and web surfing in general in my university years. Out of the 30 people in my university group i made friends only with 2 of them and due to my addiction I did not even hang out with them outside of university, which resulted in me having no friends at all after university finished. Now I have been working for 3 years as a programmer without any social life outside of work. I feel like i don't even have the skills required to converse with people. One on one i can manage some talk, but in a group I can't muster a single word, because I don't feel like I can add anything to the conversation. Having wasted my teen years and university years doing pretty much nothing I don't have any stories to share, I don't even know the city I live in that well because I never went out to clubs or bars. Obviously my love life is non existent, I have had drunken sex a couple of times, but never made the effort, or knew how to make a connection with a female and date. I turned 25 this year and realized how much of a failure I am compared to the people I work with, who have many interests, have read many books, accumulated all kinds of knowledge from experiencing different things, created families and are leading active lives. With these heavy thoughts depressing me i tried quitting gaming and it kind of worked, since games for the past couple of years have been just a way to spend my free time, I don't actually enjoy them anymore. I have reduced my gaming time to a maximum of 1-4 hours a day as opposed to 5-8. But it is still not even close to being enough, since i replaced my gaming time with useless internet surfing time. With all of these thoughts in my head i started getting depressed and started to seriously consider suicide. I am having suicidal thoughts around 3 times a week, once a month I would cry to myself about my pathetic situation and what I have become. But before I depress myself even more with these thoughts of mine I decided to take action and completely remove gaming from my life, reduce pointless internet surfing time and add 2-4 hours of some kind of social/active activities. So my goal being here is to quit gaming completely and quit pointless internet surfing in general, find a new group of friends and hopefully create myself a healthy social life, where I could hopefully become more confident in my self and eventually create a family of my own. The biggest problem i will have to solve is how to open up myself to people more to befriend them, because socialization is definitely one of my weakest points at this moment. I wrote quite a lot, if you have read it all you have my thanks. I'll be sticking around this forum looking for tips and advices on where to go on from now and what kind of activities i could take up. So if you have any kind of starting advice, i would love to hear them, thanks 🙂
  2. Hello there! So first I wanna say, that my school english isn't the best, but i'll try to make it understandable. About myself: I'm 18 years old, coming from Switzerland and have been gaming for over 6 years now. the reason why i started was very simple, but also sad. My dad püassed away when i was 12 and just two years later a got i diagnose of an incurable disease, which meant my muscles were getting weaker slowly but steady. So video games were the only place i could get rid of all these very big problems in my life. It was a very rough time since then. I have to mention that I'm super grateful that my marks never dropped and I'm still under the top three in my class. So that's a positive thing, same as my physical health. I managed to do 2x a week therapie and 4x a week fitness and it helps me alot to keep myself up not only that my muscle-strength doesn't fade, but also mentally. But beside that i also played so much video games. especially on weekends or in holidays. It came thati played like 13 hours a day and I got sick of it really! And i had a few tries getting over this adddiction as many would calll it, but failed and felt even worse after it. Had one year without my computer and smartphone but never found joy in other areas in my life. So I relapsed right at the end of 2018. Since then I sometimes hoped to be able to control my gaming behavior and itt was not even that bad. But just 3 weeks ago holidays started and it was horrible. So I decided to stop this once and forever. As my other tries didnt work out in the long run, I wanna make it public this time and join a forum to motivbate others and also get inspiration on my side. My goals are these: Quit video games completely reduce the amount of time i spend on youtube to basically zero (only music is allowed) find other hobbis/activities that bring me joy read alot about psychology and philosophy, because it fascinates me keep up the good work in health and school write this journal every day As this port goes online this experiment or rather this new life begins and I feel ready for whatever will encounter me. Peace out!
  3. Good morning everyone, My wife and I went to couples' counseling Tuesday night, where the extent of my addiction was made painfully clear; I was meeting seven of the nine signs of addiction this site details. Most troubling among them were the escapism and the deception. I was hiding credit card bills and paying them from my personal savings so as not to alert my wife to the microtransactions and other purchases I was making. As with all lies, it was discovered, and I have never felt so horrible as I did that night, watching her cry and hearing her yell at me. She knew me better than I knew myself thankfully, and knew I was running to gaming to escape my past, to escape having to socialize in an uncontrollable environment. She has been incredible in her support of me, which I absolutely do not deserve given what I have done. Although she has not given me an ultimatum, she does see this habit like a drug, and has put her foot down to help me through this. This is the beginning of my third day without video games, and it has not been easy. It feels like how I would imagine a drug addict would feel without their fix (without the physical symptoms, thank goodness). Half of me is saying that I am in control, and that I can shorten my play time to several hours a week as opposed to 30-40. The other half sees just how much gaming has taken over my life, and how unhealthy it has been for me. Harder still, gaming is my connection to my friends. I moved to a new city for work after I dropped out of my PhD program (unrelated to gaming problems), and have had trouble meeting new people. All in all, even though it has only been three days, I have come to realize several important factors. Gaming is an important hobby for me and a connection to my friends and family. However, it had become more than a hobby. I was no longer having fun, and was using them to run from my problems and to substitute for actual progression in real life. I was playing them because I was afraid of missing out on that next reward or that next level of power, not to have fun with my friends like I used to. I was playing them as opposed to doing other activities that are fun for me like reading or playing music or hiking. I am planning on selling my PS4 and several of my Switch games in the next few days. I currently don't see myself being able to quit gaming completely, but I now recognize that certain games will hook me more than others. I need to have games that aren't online only or hyper-competitive. I need games that I can pick up and play for an hour or two, and put down without feeling like I am missing out. I look forward to being a part of this community, and getting my life back in balance! I have already been practicing my french horn more than I had been, and am seeing marked improvement in my skill and stamina. Good luck to all of us! -Erik (ydinpoika)
  4. Hello everybody! This is my first journal update after my introduction post, and today, I put my money where my mouth is. I sold my PS4, my old X Box and all games I had for both systems. I also deleted my Reddit account and unsubscribed from every streamer and gaming news channel on YouTube I was following. My wife couldn't be happier, and we've already seen the results of my newfound "freedom." There are times where she will be busy where I am not, and these are the toughest times for me. It helps to know that she does not feel like she has won some battle, and wants me to be able to use that down time to relax and have my alone time. After some discussions, we are hopeful that I will still be able to use this time to game after my detox process, but maintaining an awareness of the draw of certain games that I will need to continue to avoid. I feel free, but I also feel sad. Not sure if I made too big a decision in too short a time. I still have my Switch, which is my brain's consolation prize; I still have a game system that will allow me to connect with my friends and family after my detox. However, it was really hard to get rid of my consoles that had been with me through some of the toughest moments in my life, that allowed me to connect with my friends, and had thousands of hours sunk into them. These make for great memories and, as per economics 101, sunk costs should not be considered in making a decision, but that does not make it easy to let go. It feels good to not have to worry about keeping up with other players online to maintain my competitive edge, though. I'm looking forward to seeing how gaming feels after the detox period, knowing that the style of game I will be limiting myself to will be able to fulfill my desire for games and keeping my brain active via puzzles and/or quick reactions, while still maintaining balance with my other activities. It is going to be a busy week at work this week because I'm traveling in addition to writing my reports and proposals, so I will hopefully continue to maintain a solid barrier to my cravings. Good luck everyone! Looking forward to sending out another update later this week as well as hearing your thoughts. -Erik (ydinpoika)
  5. Hi all This is my 1st time posting here so I think I'll start with a bit of pretext My name is Frank, I am 28 and I work as mechanical engineer and most recently a new dad I found this group after listening to Cam speak on the Dad's edge Podcast the other week A few days after listening to that interview I had a shameful incident where I lost temper with my newborn son who was just in need of soothing all because my having to soothe him prevented me from getting my weekend fix for gaming After this incident I said enough is enough and have decided to embark on my personal journey to detox from gaming for the rest of my life, hopefully As of the time of writing this I am only 1 week into this detox and like many of you I am struggling to find some activities to occupy the time that used to be taken up with gaming. Outside of work which takes up 10-12 hours of my day currently, I already engage in some personal activities that take me away from gaming such as weight lifting at the gym before work, training in Aikido 2 nights a week at a local dojo, Reading and as you would expect with being a new dad I spend quite a bit of time after work helping my wife with our son. The issue I am finding with filling what time I was spending on gaming is that a lot of the activities I am coming up with such as creative writing, playing in or DM'ing a D&D group, playing board games, starting a training course, fitting an extra session in at the gym, starting building plastic model kits or table top wargamming (such as warhammer 40K). Is that all of these activities seem a bit selfish in that they are all solo activities that only appeal to me and that my wife a) isn't interested in or b) really doesn't have the patience for I know that my wife and I's 1st responsibility is tending to the needs of our newborn son and our home but when we don't have our hands full with him and when there is nothing to work on the house it would be nice to do something together which isn't just sit in front of the TV and watching Netflix or us going out for a meal, which don't get me wrong, is nice every now and then however with me being someone who has always being one that required growth or progress in some way I can't find that sitting around on the couch/lounge or sitting in a restaurant. This lack of feeling like I was growing or progressing is 1 of the reason's I spent too much time in games. The one activity I have thought of that we could do together was for us to resume learning Spanish like we were before we travelled to Spain, to visit some of my family after our wedding a few years back, which I think would also be great for my son as it would mean that he could grow up in a bi-lingual home like I did growing up with Spanish speaking family members here in Australia. However other than this I am struggling to come up with other ideas so I would really appreciate some help from the community Thank you in advance for your contributions
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