kortheo

Hey man! Glad to see you're doing good still. I probably won't be posting as frequently but I'll try to post something substantive once a week at least. I'm also doing BJJ now! It's so awesome!

Great question. Right now, accountability to me isn't about not gaming, but rather taking steps to move forward with my life. But the principle is the same at every step of the way, I think. At the most basic level, you're going to be more likely to do something if someone is holding you to it; that much is obvious. It's doubly helpful when you might be struggling to do something that's good for you but you may face emotional resistance towards. Finding an accountability partner on this site might be a good first step if you find yourself struggling or maybe not making the progress that you wish you were. As for what it's doing for me specifically, I find that it keeps me honest in terms of making sure that I'm really applying myself and making the best progress in life that I can, instead of half-assing it or slacking off, frankly.

Day 195 Hi Everyone. It's been a little while. I hope everyone is doing awesome-ly. It's a bright southern Californian day here, and there's an IronMan competition going on today basically in my backyard. Traffic is nuts, and everything is seemingly in motion. I've gotten out of the habit of journaling, but I want to re-engage and at least contribute here once a week or so. It's good to keep putting my thoughts out there instead of keeping them trapped in my head. I'm still working with Cam directly, which has proved to be incredibly productive. Don't underestimate what accountability can do for you in any endeavor in life, especially when the person holding you accountable has been along the path you're walking. The amount of work I've done and change I've experienced in the last 6 weeks has been intense. And, looking at the last 195 days as a whole, in some ways I'm not the same person any more - put another way, I'm a better version of my previous self. Progress has been slow, but consistent - which, when it comes to personal development, is the only kind of progress there is really. The Slight Edge was the first book I read after joining this forum and movement, and its core lesson never ceases to be relevant. It can be so easy to give up at any stage of your journey because you aren't seeing the bigger picture, because each step feels too small on its own to matter. But it's only by putting these small steps together that you can build anything worthwhile. So, keep going. Sometimes, things will eventually start to feel like they're moving faster :). I haven't had any real cravings or come close to relapsing lately. I am very much focused on other things in my life at this point. My lifestyle is markedly different than what it used to be, and yet my self-image hasn't quite caught up yet. It's weird to think that I was a gamer for so long, and to no longer be one at all. I am starting to see myself as a different sort of person, though. I've begun hiking again, and started to get friends together to go with me. I went last weekend and ended up having a great day and making some new friends, and really forming a new clique. It was awesome and I will be seeing them again. A month ago I started training Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, and it's a great addition to my life. It's social and great exercise, and builds my confidence because it teaches a method of self-defense. It strikes me as more cerebral/analytical than other martial arts, and has been dubbed 'human chess' by some; it may appeal to gamers because of this aspect. Plus, there is a sense of progress and achievement as you gain ranks and learn new skills. I can feel myself starting to get addicted to it. Since starting it I've felt more confidence and experienced less anxiety in everyday situations. Highly recommended. I've continued to build my cooking skills by working through The 4-Hour Chef. Incidentally, I cooked burgers for my family last night, sort of spur of the moment. They turned out great and everyone loved them. This was something I'd never done before, and I felt a bit vulnerable - after all, what if they turned out terrible? But it was good to be recognized and appreciated for a skill I have by people I love. I've re-engaged with work and committed to constantly building my IT skills. I'm on the path to get IT certifications and making good progress on work projects. I've also been more socially engaged with my co-workers, and just enjoying my job more overall lately. It's not everyday, but I do have days where I'm excited to go to work. I've doubled-down on managing my RSI symptoms so that I can live my life. As a part of this, I found a good massage therapist, and have begun exercising more. In working with Cam, I have begun challenging some mindsets I have that have held me back, and gaining a better understanding of what I actually want and how to get it. I'm not 'there' yet, but I'm definitely on the path and making good progress. I'm realizing that I need to keep building connections with people in my life if I'm going to be happy, so I'm putting in the effort needed to do that. To anyone who might read this who is struggling or unsure, I want to say to you: keep going. The more you work at it, the more your perspective will open up, and you will end up places that you couldn't have seen yourself at when you began. No matter what happens, it is a better life than what gaming offers you. No question. Keep exploring and experiencing new things, and you will figure out what really works for you. Never be afraid to invest in yourself. Best, Travis

Congratulations Tom, and best of luck.

All over this

Day 171 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wAEfeNLKwd0

Dang man, I really needed this. All my life I've heard the whole spiel of "Get good grade to get to college, go to college, get a job, and you'll be successful", and now that graduation is fast approaching for me in the fall, I'm really feeling the pressure of that. I've got no real direction to be focusing on. It also doesn't help that my older brother is kind of a fuck-up, and I'm the next one in line, so to speak, so I feel like I need to have everything figured out, when I'm the furthest thing away from having it all figured out. But I guess that's okay. I'll figure it out someday - I've just got to enjoy the journey until then. Hey, I was basically the same way. When I graduated I didn't have any idea what I wanted to do with my life, and felt pretty lost. I think this is very common and normal, assuming you're graduating around your early 20s. One common message that society sends us that our 20s are supposed to be some of the best times of our lives, and that if we don't have things figured out, or we're not having an amazing time of things that we've failed and are somehow broken. The reality is quite different - most people I think struggle a lot their 20s. After you graduate college you start on Day 1 of being a real adult, and you know essentially nothing. With that in mind, you have a ton of work to do to figure out who you are and what you want out of life, and that takes a lot of work. So you should expect this to be a challenging time in your life, but if you put in the effort, you will get there. I've heard from multiple sources people who struggled in their 20s but found that their lives improved a lot 30s and on. This isn't to say that you can't enjoy your 20s - of course you can - but just know that it's perfectly normal if it's hard sometimes. For more on this theme, I like this TED talk: https://www.ted.com/talks/meg_jay_why_30_is_not_the_new_20?language=en In other news: I have the flu. I'll be back in a few days. Have a good day everyone.

Day 167 I'm back! This has been the longest I've gone without journaling since I've started this (even though it's only 4 days). I've mainly been away because of my RSI symptoms; I took as much time away from my computer this weekend as I could manage. Thankfully, my hands are feeling much better today - I am rediscovering proper posture for computer work, working on trigger point therapy, and getting plenty of exercise, all of which are really helping. I had a collection of Magic: The Gathering cards that were collecting dust, so I gave them away for free to a local Redditer. It also happened to be his birthday. Happy Birthday dude! Enjoy the cards. I had decided that MtG felt a lot like video games to me, in certain ways. Or at least that I didn't see myself investing my time into them in the future, so it was easier to pass them along. As I've been letting certain things flow out of my life, I find myself finding the things that really matter to me and focusing on them more, which is fantastic. For example, cooking is one of my favorite new hobbies - I've been working through 4 Hour Chef since the start of the year and it's really changing my relationship to cooking and food. I love cooking now. It is skill-based, feeds you, connected to culture, and can be very social. And done right, can save you money. I'm finding that certain skills like this have a very high return on investment - cooking is one of them. My newest hobby, which I literally just started 2 days ago, is Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. Since it's so new I don't have a ton to say about it, but think of the RoI for this one - it's exercise, it's skill-based, you learn self-defense, you gain self-confidence, and it's social. I'm really excited about this addition to my life. Even after just a 1 hour session I felt more confident and at ease with myself in my surroundings, because I knew more self-defense than I had the day before. I've been reflecting on several things lately. Some lessons I have partially gotten from Cam and partially come to on my own: One, feeling fulfilled comes from working towards your potential, not from having fully achieved it. So working on becoming the person you want to be day by day is a great strategy for feeling fulfilled and proud of yourself, even if the final destination is a long way off. Two, when it comes to self-improvement and working towards your goal, the 'point' is really less about the goal and achieving it and more about the work you have to put in to achieve that goal. Put another way, having the goal in your hands is less important than the fact that in order to achieve it, you had to grow and change into the sort of person who was capable of achieving it. The real reward is that you grew as a person. Three, it's important to take stock of certain foundational areas of your life. When things seem to stop going well and get off track, check in with these foundations. Am I exercising? Am I eating right? Am I meditating? Sleeping enough? Seeing friends and family regularly? Etc. Four, it's important to notice when you have views of yourself that limit you. For example, up until a few years ago I had a belief roughly to the effect of "I'm a nerd, therefore I don't play sports or exercise." It's an incredibly damaging and baseless belief. I'm glad I freed myself from it. The generalized form would be basically "I'm X, therefore I don't/can't/shouldn't do Y." But if Y is something that would be good for you to do, or something you would enjoy, you should do it - perhaps an indication that it's time to challenge a viewpoint of yourself as X. That's all for now. Have a good night everyone.

Day 163 Feeling a bit better today. Worked on improving my posture and workstation ergonomics. I have definitely gotten into the place of collapsing my head and shoulders forward, which is bad for you :). Fixing that and sitting up straight seems to help a lot. I'm in much better spirits today. I went for a run last night which helped a lot. I find that running really helps me in general, I should make it more of a habit. I might do another 5k. I have a introductory lesson for BJJ scheduled this saturday. Time for a new experience. Work has been going well lately. Wrapping up a lot of projects that have been in limbo for a while. Feels good to move forward.

Day 162 Early in my journal I mentioned that I struggle with RSI (repetitive strain injury). It's flared up again for me, which has happened many times, but it causes me a lot of anxiety. Basically these days if I work in certain ways at a computer it's no problem, but it's really easy to get lax on those specific ergonomic ways, let your posture go to crap, etc, and then if I let it go for too long and maybe don't get enough exercise enough, the problems come right back. So that's where I'm at. It's enough to put me in a crap mood. But working on it is an iterative process and I won't let it beat me. I will revisit all I've learned about this issue and reapply what I know works, add new things, and push forward.

Welcome back.

Day 163 I've had less to share here lately, which is OK. I've been very busy doing and spending less time thinking in some ways. This is probably good for me. I'm very focused on my job right now, and on expanding my IT knowledge and skillset. I was thinking of what I spend my time on these days. I'd say these are my most common activities: WorkReadingExercisingSocializingCookingLearning IT stuffMeditatingListening to podcastsI'd say overall this is a much better set of activities than I had when I started this. Pretty unequivocally. Gratitude Seeing how far I have come.Tea.Meditating for 30 minutes yesterday.Taking steps towards my goals.Getting momentum at work.

Day 162 Anxiety is funny. Yesterday I felt pretty anxious over nothing in particular that I could really identify. This morning, I come into work and the AC unit for our server room is out. The temperature alarm system didn't dial out correctly over the weekend. Great. Equipment seems OK, and I have a backup AC unit, but it's not a fun situation. By contrast, in this situation I feel relatively calm. Maybe because I'm doing everything I can be doing and now all there is to wait. I feel like I'm growing in several different ways simultaneously right now, and it's a real challenge, but a rewarding one. Professionally, emotionally, psychologically, physically, socially. It's a lot of work, but worth it. Gratitude Server/network hardware seems OK.Getting better at understanding my anxiety.Exploring my career path options.Contingency plans.Smoothies.

Day 161 I'm in the process of figuring out what direction I want my career in IT to take. One thing I've realized is that... I'm going to learn Linux (Thanks @Tom). I see no downside to learning it, and in fact, it seems to only be getting more and more in demand. "Linux" isn't exactly a direction, but it opens up a lot of doors, I'm realizing. Even if I am primarily a Windows guy, knowing Linux will give me an edge over others, from what I understand. I've been feeling a bit better about work and life goals lately, mainly I think because I'm being proactive in going after them. So that's good. However, I'm also feeling less connected socially, and I'm not sure why. In doing this thinking about work stuff, and in working with Cam, I am having to work through some emotional barriers, so maybe that's playing into it. In any case, I'm sure it will pass. Sometimes we hit weird patches that don't always make total sense. Onwards and upwards. Gratitude No pain in my hands today.Learning new IT skills.Cleaning my car, and other chores.Comforting my baby niece.Dinner family cooked for me last night.

Day 160 One of the most absurd things I've heard from gamers after quitting is "What did you replace gaming with? What do you do with your time?" As if there weren't enough things in life to fill 24 hours if you didn't spend a significant chunk of it gaming. Dude, anything! Anything is better. What do I do now? I spend time learning and improving myself and doing things that I am proud of accomplishing. Try that instead. For whatever reason I just feel really strongly about this today. Gratitude R/sysadminVinaka cafe.Green tea.Breakfast sandwiches.Hot sauce.

I guess from my perspective it's just called being confident and self-assured. Haha. But I'll think on this.

Day 159 Met with Cam for the second time last night. It's kind of crazy that it's only been a week since the last meeting; it felt much longer. We talked about a lot of things. The process has motivated me to get a new resume written, and now I have that, just some final tweaks to make to it. Next, I'm going to start looking for jobs or finding companies that I might want to work for, and learning about new areas in tech that I might be interested in working in. We talked about how usually the things that hold us back in life are emotional barriers rather than more practical limitations, and so how learning to recognize these obstacles, acknowledging that working on them will be uncomfortable, and then working through them one step at a time is the way to go. This avoids getting overwhelmed by the bigger picture of what your path is, or thinking that your life is supposed to be comfortable all the time. This whole process is an emotional journey, and like life itself, it's more about the journey than the destination - the goal is to work through those emotional barriers; doing this, engaging with your weak areas in this way and challenging yourself, this is how you grow and get to a place where you can really decide for yourself what you want, rather than sticking with what you have simply because it's easy. I learned to not put too much weight in what others say about me or my current situation, since they're often projecting their own issues onto it. And that I need to have confidence in myself. And that I want to learn to accept discomfort in the moment. Finally, we talked about standards and boundaries - which affect how you treat yourself and how you allow others to treat you. Standards are about what you choose to do with your time. If you're at gamequitters, a new standard you're making for yourself is that your time is too valuable to waste it playing video games all day. A boundary is what you won't accept from others, such as them wasting your time or treating you unfairly or unreasonably. If you enforce both standards and boundaries in life, you'll go a long way to creating a life where you respect yourself and others respect you, and where you spend your time well. I have a long week to think about these things and integrate them as much as I can. Have a great day, everyone. Gratitude Friday.Election podcast.IT workshop today.Writing.Classical music.

Wow, hadn't seen that picture before. That is unsettling.

Welcome! You will find a lot of support here. If you're serious about this, I would recommend comitting to a 90 day detox, and consider checking out Respawn, which can help get you started. Both of these really helped me.

Day 158 Yesterday I received the matcha kit I ordered. Contents: 30g premium quality matcha, stainless steel teaspoon, clear glass drinking cup, matcha whisk. This was my first real introduction to it - and it was actually really awesome. I've always loved green tea, so this was like a step to the next level. If you're unfamiliar, matcha is a specially grown green tea leaf milled into a powder - so you are basically consuming most of the components of the leaf. It has a higher caffeine content and significantly higher micronutrient content than your standard tea, and the drink ends be up being a much richer color. It's also not as intense as coffee, which has never really worked for me; always makes me feel kind of sick. I probably can't express this in a way that will convey the experience, but it really brought me into the moment in a powerful way. There is a ritual surrounding matcha, I guess, and I can see why. Something about the preparation needs to be so deliberate - measure the powder, break up the powder into a fine consistency, prepare 180 degree water, mix and whisk until it froths. The color, taste, clear glass, smell, and properties of the tea all together really just made me forget everything else and become very mindfully present. Suddenly all I cared about was watching trees blow in the wind and listen to the birds. I know this sounds probably fluffy and dramatic, but I'm not exaggerating at all, it was actually quite profound for me. I could see this becoming a daily ritual. I'm feeling overwhelmed at work. I have a meeting to talk to my boss today, so maybe some of my overwhelm will be addressed there. I guess I won't say too much about it, but I am beginning to give myself more credit in some ways. I do a lot of work, a lot more than I would probably have to do for equivalent pay elsewhere. It's not fair to me. Etc Etc. Continuing to think about other options. Gratitude Feeling present.Rediscovering my morning routine.Getting thoughts organized on paper.Matcha.Learning new things every day.

Day 157 Recommitting to my morning routine. Not easy at first, but important and valuable. I switched to an upper body routine that targets my stiffest muscles that are static during the workday, and I see a lot more value in it. Mobilizing and strengthening these muscles will make me feel better throughout the day. Recommitting to daily meditation is also huge, even if it's just 5-10 minutes a day. It's the sort of thing that the benefits both build and fade gradually with in my experience, so it can take a few days to feel the full benefit, and also a few days before you realize what you're missing... this can make it tempting to skip a day here or there sometimes. I am changing a lot of my goals. I'll go over it in fully depth at the end of the month, but many of the goals I set out at the beginning of the year were artificial and didn't work in practice. I'm not giving up, just framing them differently. As an example, rather than aiming to read X number books per year, I'm going to focus on the habit of reading every day. This makes it easier to feel like I'm succeeding, and takes the stress off whether I'm reading enough or not, while still building a habit that makes me read things I care about. Also, it removes the emphasis on just the number, which isn't that important in the grand scheme - some books are long, some are short. Is it better to read 2 short books instead of one long book? Not really, it's totally context dependent, etc. The goals we set will structure our behavior, so we need to be conscious about setting goals that structure the behavior that we want out of ourselves. Gratitude Lunch with a co-worker later today.My new blender, which is providing an easy way for me to consume fruits and veggies.Progress on my resume, and being in flow state while working on it.Recognizing my anxiety and relaxing.Taking a day for myself.

Love this! Very true. Slow and steady is my style. You seem like you're off to a great start, keep it up. It's inevitable that you're hit some rough spots here and there, but overall you'll find you don't miss gaming as much as you thought you might.

Day 156 Still feeling a little sick and tired today, but I made it in to work. I've been struggling with my morning routine lately but I did do it all this morning. 5 Minute Journal, 7 Minute exercise app, and 5 minute meditation. Sounds simple, and it is really, but sometimes hard when you don't want to get out of bed at all. I think I need to work on exercising more regularly though, and also eating more nutrient-dense foods. I'm making good progress on the food front at least. Work seems like it should be relatively mellow this week, which is good. I'm going to an IT workshop at lunch today, which I'm looking forward to. I'm trying to have more empathy for myself and for others. I'm also becoming better at checking in with my emotions and noticing my anxiety, even when it's low-level. Gratitude Feeling a little less tired today.Getting better at catching anxiety.Progress one day at a time.Remembering my dreams.Eating better.

Day 155 This is possibly the latest in the day I've ever done my entry! I stayed home from work today; I didn't sleep well and just felt exhausted. It was a good choice. I went grocery shopping, and made 3 meals and smoothies! I'll have food for the week now. I ordered a matcha starting kit - matcha powder, whisk, bowl, spoon. Stoked. I love matcha. I'm reading a book on the American Constitution and listening to a new podcast called Presidential that, leading up to the election, cover the history of one president each week. Getting my history fix! It is fascinating. Made incremental progress on my resume. Also, napping is great. Not much human interaction though, so feeling a little lonely tonight. Such is life! It is normal to feel lonely sometimes. Have a good night, everyone.

Day 154 it's a sunny and beautiful day today. I'm sipping matcha green tea. A cute barista just enthusiastically brought me hot sauce for my breakfast. All is right with the world. I hung out with friends last night and for the first time in a while I felt like I was able to relax and just really be myself unapologetically, good and bad. I wonder if it's because I had a day that I felt good about - I felt like I made progress in all the areas of my life that matter right now. I made good progress on updating my resume, and I spent a good chunk of time working on learning new IT skills. I also dedicated time to reading a book that I want to finish. It felt like I'm spending my time on things that matter. Yesterday, Cam and I talked about how living up to your potential doesn't require that you are at the finish line - you can feel like you're fulfilled if you're doing your best to work towards your potential on a daily basis. Anyway, when I was with friends, I didn't feel like I had to hold back my thoughts, even if I worried they might be disagreed with or unpopular. Usually, at least with this group, I do feel that way. One of my friend's neighbors came by because he was having a technical problem he couldn't fix and I figured it out for him, which was fun, and he and his roommates seemed cool. We watched various shows/videos online and just hung out and had a good time. Later in the night I determined that I needed to buy a blender and spent like an hour pouring over surprisingly funny Amazon blender reviews. Which was actually great, odd as it sounds haha. (The Verdit: http://www.amazon.com/Ninja-Master-Prep-Professional-QB1004/dp/B004XK4N9C/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1456080899&sr=8-2&keywords=ninja+blender+pro) - it beats out $500+ blenders on Consumer Reports ratings. So many smoothies in my future). Today is my sister's birthday, so I'm going to go celebrate that with my family later. I'm hoping to make more resume progress and IT learning progress today. And try to just be present and enjoy it. Have a good day everyone!