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About Johebe

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  1. DAY 8 I am still on track and that gives me a positive feeling. There was an evening when I was really tempted to play video games: Friday night. Just like the week before. But this time I remembered the not so great saturday I had afterwards and decided to do something different. I already spent time reading and practising guitar so I decided to spend some time using a music making program (Logic Pro) on my computer that I had installed for a long time and never figured out how to properly use it. That was lots of fun. Two hours went by really quickly and I had lots of ideas with the different sounds in the program and learned how to use it. There is another thing I want to learn: How to properly use the music notation program I have. I always hand out hand-written music charts to fellow musicians. That has got to change. I read regularly "The Slight Edge". I like it and think there is a lot of truth in it. I have to admit that I have a history of not liking people that give 100%. I had prejudices about them. It is hard to put into words, it was more like a feeling of "I don´t want to be like them", i was sure those people compulsively act that way and can´t relax. But I have to rethink that. It is holding me back. In fact I admire people that really go for things they really want. And it doesn´t necessarily mean that they are stuck up or lack time for reflection. The urge to play video games is still there. I think about it often. I can´t resist to read game-related websites. That doesn´t help. But I am actually safe for the next to weeks. Because the day after tommorrow I will be leaving for a two weeks cruise ship trip with a band. Some weeks ago I thought about which games I should take with me on my laptop, but that won´t happen. I am sure I will find lots of other things to do on the cruise ship on the different locations we are heading to. There is an app, that I can recommend. It is called "Habit List". I am sure there are other apps that work similarly. I put in "Don´t play videogames" on a daily list, "Gym" on a twice a week list, "Playing guitar" on a daily list and so on. I just like how they numbers are adding up. It gives me some kind of experience similar to leveling in a video game. So that really works for me
  2. Hey, congratulations for stopping playing video games. And for being so honest with yourself. I can totally related to your reasons for gaming. I have kind of the same things going on in my life and used games to avoid being really responsible for the things I wanted to do. Probably because I am afraid of failing. I hope you soon write more words each day and that your new habbits stick with you!
  3. DAY 4 Thanks for your reply, Cam. I feel much better today. I really believe that even small amounts of gaming will make me think a lot about gaming. That is not the case today. I only think of games in the evening, when I feel like I should reward myself for the work of the day. But reading instead or being productive feels just so much better. Every morning I am practising my guitar, which is my job. I haven´t done that for some time now. I am a guitar player and teacher and lately I haven´t played much guitar besides work. I have my bands and a steady teaching job, I could just go on like this. In fact my own old guitar teacher from my hometown does exactly that and everybody can see that it is not going well with him. I am really thankful for how nice it feels to play some songs in the morning and that I am able to do that. I am thankful for the positive energy that most kids that I teach to play the guitar give me. I am thankful for my relationship, that is something that is really working well. I would like to become a better guitar player, to understand rhythmic things that always confuse me, to write own songs and start my own musical project instead of just participating in other people´s music.
  4. So, I consider this day 2 of my detox. Yesterday was kind of hard. I wouldn´t have thought that it makes such a big difference to play a game. My mind was immediatly back to my old routine. I have to remember that. It happened to me before that whenever I was bot playing for some days, I didn´t believe myself that playing one game would make a difference. Yesterday I played some guitar, learned a new song, read in "The Slight Edge" (good book, but the author kind of repeats himself a lot :D) and went to birthday party where I hardly knew anybody. It was fun. In my hometown, the weather became suddenly sunny after weeks of grey clouds. It reminds me of the spring and how much different life in the sun can be. Looking for that. Have a good day, my fellow game quitters!
  5. Thanks for your reply, WorkInProgress. I wish there were more games that are not designed so that you always keep playing them. While playing I often notice how i am being controlled to do certain things. Tonight I am going to a birthday party, so today is save. And I am really looking forward to it.
  6. Yesterday I played 2 hours of video games. I had a really good day. I accomplished all the things that I wanted to do. So I did as a reward. It was lots of fun and I set the limit to 2 hours. That worked fine. Afterwards I coouldn´t concentrate so well on my book and today I started working again but like 10% of my mind was still thinking of games. That I will be able to play them again tonight. That´s what I don´t like. I don´t want to perfect my life. I don´t want to start my own business, be productive all the time and I don´t condem doing nothing. I would like to handle video games like most people are handling watching tv or are interested in sports. Both things I don´t do and save me lots of time. So why can´t I achieve using video games like this? Max. two hours a day and only in the evening after having worked.
  7. Hi everybody, this is another Daily Journal. I am 34 years old and I live in Germany. I write it mostly for the purpose of writing, since it helps getting my thoughts in order. So this is the evening of day 2. Yesterday on day 1 I had lots of feeling of loosing something. Although I knew it was ridiculous I felt like I made a huge mistake letting my gaming go. I read in a book instead and went to bed early. The day is no problem, but in the evening I am so used to play games that I feel kind of bored. To be honest it is not so much about the time that I spend with playing video games. It is about the mindset that comes with it. I hardly do anything productive at home and I have so many plans. But after work I rewarded me with playing video games. Whenever I do something productive though I feel so much happier. So I want to have a new routine for the evenings. I would like best to have a responsible way of dealing with video games but the last ten years that didn´t happen, so I will stop trying and quit them alltogether. While I am writing this, my boyfriends sits in the other room and plays on his Playstation, that doesn´t make things easier. I keep asking myself why I like video games so much. They are all so similar and created for millions of people, so there is no real suprise and I feel like I am part of a machine. And they are expensive, so I´ll save my time and money from now on.
  8. Hi, i am 34 years old and from Germany. I started playing video games after I graduated when I was 24 years old. I´ve never been as productive as I wanted to be, before video games there were books, movies or going out, but video games tend to make me feel bad. I enjoy them and think some of them are art worth experiencing but with time they make me play more then I want. I am not a competitive guy so I played RPGs and wandered through foreign worlds but I never managed to play them only in the evenings and the list of things I wanted to do instead just always becomes so long. So I decided to do the 90 days detox after watching some of Cam´s videos and reading through the forum. I found lots of interesting links and thoughts (just started Jeff Olson´s Slight Edge today) here and I would like to interact with you guys and share my story.