Marquess

Well, yeah, if you're creating entire speeches entirely made out of curse words, then it's probably an ok idea to look into it. I though you just wanted to stop swearing completely. No argument there, us Slavs are savages.

What day of the 90 day detox are you at now? I suggest you write down the number every time you make a post; It creates an intriguing sense of progress and perhaps even achievement. Games may be here to stay, yet I don't think it's a great idea to get involved into anything even remotely close to gaming during your detox. Imagine you're an alcoholic who's stopped drinking a couple of weeks ago, and you're now going to hang out in a bar with your old drinking buddies. You order coffee and everyone has a nice enough time, but in truth, you're on one of the early stages of relapse. This is exactly how people relapse. They don't just wake up one day and have some mysterious force make them relapse: it's a process that has different stages and can often be predicted. I suggest you seriously consider if getting involved in game development is a right decision. About your education: definitely learn a trade first. You can always pursue drama after those two years (it may seem like a long time nigh, but it really is nothing), and if you decide to do so, you'll be able to do that knowing you have a skillset that will always pay. So yeah -- why not both? There's nothing cool or respectable about not having any marketable skills, but I'd say it's pretty awesome when you're earning a decent salary and the "cool" sociology major is on welfare. But definitely don't go into something you're not interested in and bad at. If you say technology and maths aren't your thing, don't go there. All that will happen is that you'll have to constantly put in more work than everyone else in exchange for mediocre results. How do you feel about nursing? Also, lol, I don't remember ever discussing penises with my mother.

Day 10: Thirty There isn't much to celebrate objectively speaking. I grew up in a first world country, middle class family and was raised by two loving parents. That's more than the vast majority of humanity can say, yet my results so far have been, so to speak, underwhelming. We'll see what happens. 3 Pieces of Supposed Wisdom by a 30 Year Old Degenerate 1. There Is No One There is no one special person that will make your life complete and solve all your problems. You don't have to spend your life looking for "that special someone", and even if you do fall in love and have a great relationship, there's nothing special about that person. If they end up leaving you, that can be a very painful inconvenience, but there's nothing stopping you from finding someone else and forming another awesome relationship that may be even better. All this sounds like an obvious truth when written down. Yet I constantly see otherwise intelligent people ignoring it and I ignored it myself for years. 2. Disregard Normal People The majority of people are just taking up space, and their greatest desire in life is being told what to do. You need to disregard those people completely, for they have nothing to offer you. The majority of people is there mostly to support the elite, and your goal should be to become a part of that elite. This doesn't mean that normal people should be exploited or directly hurt: doing so would be amoral. As an aspiring member of the elite, you should serve as an example for them to follow. Never trust normal people. They're born with an inclination to sadism and will only act like decent humans if dominated in some way (by the state or some other authority). 3. I Am Mentally Ill The chances of not continuing to fail at everything I try will be much greater if I admit this. Healthy people don't trash their 20s by playing WoW, they don't obliterate their bodies and minds by getting wasted 3 days in a row, and they're fine with getting out of bed on most days. I don't know why I am like that since my life's been free from any sort of trauma. Most probably it's genetic. Alcoholism (therefore probably depression, etc) runs in both sides of my family, so there we go. To have even a remote chance of success, I must treat myself accordingly. I still think I can achieve a lot, but getting there won't look like I've imagined 10 years ago. Note how Death's finger is at the center of the chip. You can't tell into which direction it's being moved.

Wew! Yes! Everyone is a fantastic character. Well, I haven't said anything about dating idiots. Intelligence is hereditary to a degree, so you don't want your woman to be an idiot at all. I also cannot stand women who can't hold a meaningful conversation; what kind of marriage would that be. I know some men claim they "don't care" about how smart a woman is, but I'd say those men aren't exactly a gift to humanity themselves. However, the sad reality is that men have no interest women's minds if they aren't hot. At one point, I knew a woman who had a fascinating personality, was smart as hell, and a brilliant poetess to top it off, but she wasn't physically attractive, and I just couldn't do it. She wasn't ugly in a technical sense -- just not quite there. High intelligence and below average looks are a terrible fate for a woman. As a man, you can still compensate by working on other qualities; As a woman, not so much. At least if you're straight. It is possible to enter ketosis by just limiting the carb intake and not upping the fats. I did that when I first tried it in 2013: at that point, I still had my office job and would drink regularly. After I entered ketosis without really knowing it, I drank about 0.5L of vodka, and the next day I experienced the worst hangover in my life. It also wouldn't be the last. Keto hangovers are their own special category, so perhaps you can watch out for that (it's actually fine if you're not an alcoholic and stay reasonably hydrated). What made you go gluten free?

Being pansexual, as far as I know, is about being attracted to a certain person without regard to their (pronouns, here we go) gender. But doesn't that essentially make you bisexual? That's the issue I have with all these new terms: all they seem to do is describe variations of feminine men/masculine women or degrees of gayness. You can then say that pansexual differs from bisexual because it also includes those who don't identify as either gender, but I think you can't really escape the gender scale. For example, a feminine man that enjoys cross dressing on occasion is just that -- a cross dresser. He isn't "gender fluid". The vast majority of people has no idea what this even means. I don't have a problem with people calling themselves whatever they like. I remember the times when we were gothic kids on Livejournal and IRC, and we claimed to be bisexual because it was cool (even though everyone was straight). I'm actually surprised Livejournal still exists, and I'm also happy that back then, we didn't have things like cheap webcams and streaming video (it technically existed but wasn't very functional). We had so much drama and shit; I'm glad almost everything has perished to oblivion. But I digress ... The problem with making up all these expressions is a PR one. The majority, normal people, will always hate everything that's too different by default. It's a fact of life that ultimately cannot be changed (why that is a different issue, but I've linked an article from Justine Tunney, who argues that normal people are basically sadists, a couple of pages ago). Minorities have to live with that, so why invent all sorts of new, strange titles instead of presenting yourself as decent people inside the known and accepted (if reluctantly) sexual metrics? That issue is the most pronounced with trans people. The vast majority just wants to go stealth as their true gender; however, there seems to be a loud minority (at least it seemed so to me) that makes them look like degenerate freaks to normal people ... who already think they're degenerate freaks anyway. Radical feminism, social justice, trying to expand the definition of what "trans" means so everyone can join the supposed cool kids club -- all of this does nothing but worsen the situation. Every copywriting course will tell you a successful ad is clear, concise, and uses simple language. Instead, many are writing essays about intersectionality using Windings.

Oh, interesting post. I'll make sure to answer. I'm an INTP myself.

Day 9: Keto Power Also day 4 of water/tea fast hence I'm already in some sort of a low-level ketosis. I feel more energetic, my mood is more stable, my thoughts are clearer and I should be able to focus more. People like me don't even have a choice when it comes to keto: to get anywhere close to our optimal functioning, we absolutely need it. The difference between high carb and low carb diet is gigantic. Oh, and all the digestive issues have stopped too as it's normal for fasting, but I'll be fine when I start eating again -- this may be the last day of the fast; I'll have to see how I feel. After that it's broccoli, Swiss chard, coconut oil, onion, and sardines. Have I mentioned I'm broke :x. I ultimately need to accept that food will no longer be a source of fun and relief a sugar rush brings (carbs convert into sugar inside the body, so eating bread or pasta equals eating sugar). I quit booze, I quit WoW, I quit binge eating, and now some fuckers want me to quit porn as well. Fuck no. And yeah, I know the reasons behind it very well; it's just not realistic for me at this point and perhaps until I get access to girls. I'm almost excited to see what the effects of keto will be after a month. It may be the "normal" all those people won't shut up about. @Laney: I've been thinking about how to answer your question further, but it's hard to answer in a brief enough way. Not without at least triggering half the forum. So, uhm, trigger warning. Men value youth, beauty, and traits like fertility, kindness, submissiveness. Women mostly value status, power, money, strength, dominance. The sun and moon comparison comes to mind. Modern third wave feminists will tell you that's oppressive, but the reality is that it's what makes everyone the happiest. With that in mind, it makes no sense for me to pursue women of my age. An average 30 year old woman's had a number of boyfriends, which means a lot of emotional baggage that may cause all sorts of problems. Depending on her lifestyle and genetics, she may have anywhere from 0 to 10 years of looking good (there are exceptions, but come on) while that's not the case with 20 year olds. I also don't care about her career since I'd much prefer to consider myself the provider and her a stay at home mom -- there are massive benefits in home schooling your children anyway, and I wouldn't be able to do it. Besides, if she has children in her early 20s, she then has the majority of her life to pursue any kind of career she wants once the kids are grown up enough. There's a popular quote that describes the above attitude. It should go without saying that it's heavily sarcastic: There will always be exceptions. Women who only want a career, people who are close to the middle of the gender spectrum and just want to do their own thing, those with atypical sexual orientations, etc. But these are all minorities. That said, I'm still not sure if I should even reproduce considering my leanings towards things like depression and addiction. But it just takes one look to how a common man thinks to realize I very likely should. Here's a picture of today. It's from FB again, and I'm again too paranoid to post it directly. I'm fairly certain that some of these girls reverse image search their own pictures. She's supposedly a lesbian with a steady girlfriend, but that doesn't stop her from attention whoring. I see this all the time. PS: I've seen the last Cam's video. You are all very qt <3. Everything is better in color.

Deleted all my chars once. Came back, made a ticket, got everything back in 20 minutes. I'd say the best way is to either get yourself perma banned or sell your account (somewhat risky, but people do it all the time through middlemen on certain forums).

Ha, I have visited /r9k/ a few times and remember being fascinated by profound discussions about waifu pillows. It struck me that the majority of posters seemed very intelligent -- what a waste. My dating advice is basically get drunk and visit goth parties. I should become a life coach.

Well, that pretty much sounds like keto, ha. Depending on the amount of onion, one could easily achieve and maintain ketosis with this (as long as the fat intake is sufficient). It does sound awesome. May do something similar in future, but I've actually been enjoying cooking lately.

Sure, I'm always open for new musical suggestions. Especially lately, since I feel a lot less inclined to search for new music by myself. You seem to be making all right moves so far. That's great, but I think you should keep in mind (as you've noted before) that trying to introduce too many changes in a short time frame = guaranteed failure. Maybe excessive swearing isn't exactly optimal, yet I I wouldn't say it's a huge deal.

What kind of food are you making for the entire week? I'm considering doing that too, and you did mention keto once.

Men and women look for vastly different things in a partner.

Macadamia nuts are godly. Too bad they're expensive as hell. As far as I know, the trees that grow them can only do so successfully in a very specific climate, and they also don't bear any nuts for the first few years. Even after they finally produce the nuts, the shell needs to be removed with special machinery since it's so hard it's impossible to crack them manually. But yeah, godly. I also suggest Brazil Nuts:

Men of all ages are attracted to 20 year olds. Anyone who's claiming otherwise is lying. http://therationalmale.com/2012/06/04/final-exam-navigating-the-smp/

Tell that to girls at the peak of their fertility who won't stop posting their pictures anywhere they can. I'm narcissistic enough to believe I'll get a qt 20 yo waifu the moment I get where I want to be in life, and my past experience supports it: I always kind of coasted into relationships. I've read a lot about pick up and game, but I can't fully imagine how can all these guys have such problems. They say girls in the US are different and that Eastern European girls are somehow superior. I don't know because I've never been to US, but I have a pronounced feeling a lot of it is bullshit.

Day 8: Give Me Money I'm still slightly psyched over the videos I mention in above posts. The alter that stays in hiding most of the time and manipulates all the others towards the unavoidable failure. Perhaps there is a part of me that's determined to self sabotage after all, yet I'm not sure what I can do about it apart from pressing on. The problem with people who are severely mentally ill is that they make things up all the time. It's impossible to create a proper relationship when you can never be sure whether the person is lying or not. And making up various traumatic events may in itself be a product of mental illness and should therefore be taken seriously ... but still. What can you even expect. I almost regret that I've watched a number of Autumn's vids, but what can I do. I'd like to hang out with people, but there's nowhere to go. So I watch YouTube vlogs and have imaginary conversations before I fall asleep. I'll go insane at this rate, too. I don't know how much of it actually matters right now. Most of us know the self help basics, and the Maslow's pyramid is there somewhere. I'm still uneasy on the lowest two levels, so why the fuck am I even bothering with anything that's above them. I need to get better at calling my own bullshit; I suspect all this talk about being creative and even having actual friends is just a distraction -- at least at this point. I'm two months late on my electricity bill. Fuck your friends and fuck your actualization. I've barely done any work the last week. It's time to pick it up and hopefully get a better rank (which pays better) at last. I still have some welfare coming in, but the time is in fact running out. Kortheo is making me pick another positive habit though, and I'm grateful for it. No, I'm not starting to list all the things I'm grateful for. I'm grateful for my computer working fine, ok. That's the most important thing. Pictured: the epitome of mental stability

Ok, so I've completed the above exercise. I've written several pages longhand then typed it all down. Following the format in the video, I now have 3 primary alters and two secondary ones, but they're not as spectacular as Autumn's. Partially because my mental issues aren't as deep & complex, partially because I'm not trying to make a popular YouTube video. Most of it is either uninteresting or too personal. This is how I am at my absolute worst: Others are: the ideal self, current me at my best, and two sub alters that are more or less just sexual and probably don't make much sense without one another. Unlike Autumn, I don't think I have anything resembling "The Controller" that would ultimately try to destroy me (and himself in the process). However, it's who's freaked me out the most and I feel uneasy just by writing about it. Must've been just the excess eyeshadow.

This is how I've been feeling as well. I've always been focused on dating, now that I've started this challenge it's the first time in my life I'm 100% dedicated to me. It's a bit exhilarating! Good to hear your updates. Also very entertaining. It's not a choice for me though. After you've been poor for two years, it becomes obvious at a first sight. All I can afford right now is a bus ride to the center of the town where I can then look like someone who's been poor for two years. The first question girls ask you is "what do you do". I don't have a cool answer to that.

Day 7: To My Other Self I've trashed all the posts on my blog. There wasn't a lot to begin with: just a few posts of me basically not being sure how to approach my own blog. Big changelog goes as follows: - Changed the theme to something that looks less 1995. - Shortened my name to something a few people may be able to pronounce. - Let go of the idea of writing about specific subjects. Let go of expecting a meaningful number of visitors anytime soon. TO DO: - Complete the fucking HTML/CSS shitty course on fucking Codecademy already. It's easy and I've already done it to about 70% once. Jesus. - Improve your grammar and vocabulary so you sound less like a slavshit and more like an actual person. You're not Mike Cernovich, who dishes out articles full of grammar mistakes and typos and still delivers great content. (Plus do you really think Cernovich doesn't know what a subordinate conjunction is and how to use it in, say, more formal legal texts.) Yesterday, I watched an interesting mental exercise on YT. It's about expressing different personalities by a girl who claims to have a dissociative personality disorder. Whether that's true or not, it doesn't matter since that's not the point of the video*; my takeaway was that presenting yourself by a number of different personas can be a useful way to gain insight. There are three videos and they are all rather disturbing even if you disregard the fact that she's a mentally ill trans girl** that doesn't pass 100%. But I think the main reason I found it disturbing is because it spoke to me -- if I were to map out my supposed "alters", I may end up with something not so different. It's probably all basic psychology anyway. Still, I think I'll do it and see what I come up with. I'll try to present it here if the results aren't too personal. This is probably NSFW. It really is just a fully clothed person talking into a camera, but try something else if you're showing The Internet to your grandma. Meet My Alters / Personalities | Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) Meet My Alters / Personalities (part 2) | Progress Has Been Made Do I Still Have Alters? | Meet My Alters / Personalities (part 3) (Thanks for the NSFW tag, boss. Not only I now have extra visibility, but I also feel obliged to deliver.) * One of her alters calls the entire exercise fake and a pitiful attempt at attention seeking. She later admits that, in a way, it is. ** There are worse things to obsessed with, shut up.

May I ask what kinds of music do you listen to? Concise and structured journal. Great stuff.

There's something else that may be causing problems. You need to ask yourself whether you truly want to get over her. Do you really want to get out of all this misery to live an actual emotional life that doesn't consist solely of memories, songs, pictures, and probably continuous stalking? There's a certain addictive quality to misery, self-pity. It's comfortable, predictable, and it doesn't require any effort. You cannot fail at being unhappy, ever. Now, moving forward, that can fail and will fail at multiple points. Rejection, self doubt, all the awesome stuff. But it's the only way to live in a long run. The real danger of oneitis is that it's slowly eating you away while anesthetizing you with the perverse pleasure of grief. I'd say it's a lot like video games you keep playing even though you know you should stop.

Girls are attracted to men that project the aura of confidence, which is associated with status, wealth, physical strength, etc. But you don't actually need to posses all these things to appear confident. That doesn't mean you have to actively deceive them, but let's just say an energetic loser with a plan is a lot more attractive that a wimpy beta rich guy. Keep in mind that once you're set in the friendzone, it's difficult to get out. Some would say impossible. That can be fine if you enjoy being friends with girls -- I certainly do -- just be honest to yourself and understand that becoming her friend is the worst and hardest way to her bed. (However, female friends can help you obtain an actual girlfriend. They generally love to play matchmaking games.) (But whatever you do, never ask them for actual advice about what women want. The vast, vast majority doesn't understand themselves and will give you all sorts of random, false advice.)

B-but maybe I want to be a part of a personal army? Hm. Just by staying away from porn you're doing a huge service to yourself. Fap away, just don't watch porn, imo.

I can't believe no one has posted this already. But anyway, here's the good news: http://therationalmale.com/2011/08/30/there-is-no-one/ Once you realize that, you're ready to move on. Good luck. There are many articles on the topic, The Rational Male also has this one. I was obsessed with a specific girl for years and barely dated anyone during that time. It's the time I'll never ever get back, and I'm glad I can share this information with others. Ultimately, what you need to do is: realize what oneitis is + start dating. It does get so much better.