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NEW INTERVIEW: How Pauline Narvas Overcame Gaming Addiction to Become a Programmer and Build an Incredible Life!

dandielionous

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Everything posted by dandielionous

  1. @WorkInProgress I agree with you. I just thought it was an interesting article. When I was in college I took all sorts of tests to see what I was most suited for. All the tests said I could do whatever I wanted to be. Which was no help at all. lol I majored in computer engineering. I am glad I have that background. But there are many times now I wish I had studied art or writing or teaching instead. I just wondered if you are studying what you are studying to prepare yourself for a career and possibly not be being true to yourself? Which I don't know if it's possible for anyone to be true to themselves in this society. Really I didn't mean to be analyzing you. I apologize. You just seem to be a thoughtful person.
  2. Day 19 9:00 AM I watched an episode of wagon train. Maybe this is something I need to stop doing first thing in the morning. All in all life is fairly pleasant. I don't have to do anything I don't really want to do. I have enough income that I won't starve. I'll have a place to eat. I am thinking of moving to section eight housing for the elderly. That way I would have a better place to live. Hopefully. I reached a point in my gaming that I cared absolutely nothing about what happened to me in the real world. I read an article where a child that gamed a lot had committed suicide so he could join his friends in his game. He wanted to live there. I kind of felt like that. If there was a way that I could have gone into the game and lived I would have done it. Not that I wanted to commit suicide per say. So I can understand how a child's mind becomes very confused. I am lucky that I had a background before there were video games. I have always had an addictive personality. If I was inside the house I was totally involved in inside things and didn't want to go outside. When my mom forced me to go outside I would become totally involved with outside things and not want to come inside. It seems I can become addicted to anything, working a weed-eater, mowing lawns, cooking, housecleaning, studying, math, computers, etc. When this starts getting out of control is when I get a little help, like with alcohol, drugs, games. I think there is a certain percentage of the population that is just like me. Under normal circumstances our powers of concentration and focus can be a good thing. I think we are the 1% that is paying for the games. That is making selling games profitable for the owners. I think we are also the 1% the game developers have a potential of manipulating the worst. To knowingly do harm to others for the sake of profit is against our constitutional rights as American citizens. We are guaranteed the pursuit of happiness as long as it doesn't interfer with someone else's pursuit of happiness. Such as murder would be considering inteferring with someone else's pursuit of happiness, the will to live. I awake at 7:30 AM this morning. I am trying to go to sleep at a reasonable time, not reward myself for waking in the middle of the night by cruising GQ forums etc. I plan to work on my journal. Wake slowly like I like to do with my coffee. Post and check Game Quitters. Then start my day. I am going to try just putting on some music from my computer and see how that goes. If nothing else I will just walk outside and sit down. Standing up is progress. My morning routine must consist of combing my hair, brushing my teeth, getting dressed then take it from there. I hope everyone has a good day.
  3. @WorkInProgress I have made it a goal to catch up on my journal reading! DING! DING! DING! You are today's Grand Prize Winner! I really feel like you're on a soul journey. This article might interest you. 7-Signs-You're-Not-Living-The-Life-Your-Soul-Intended RE: Meditation The easiest way I have found to do meditation is to cross my ankles sitting comfortably in a chair. Relax my shoulders, join my hands and relax my eyelids to about half closed. Then listen. I set an alarm.
  4. I find reading the journals here very helpful.
  5. 2:04 PM I am keeping a journal on Game Quitters. I'm not sure how well I like that. At first I was able to write in my journal honestly. As time progresses more people comment on my journal. Before where I felt it useful to feel the connectedness with the community, now I feel as though I could use the privacy of typing my journal in Libre Office before I post on GQ. Part of this may be due to my greater clarity. Granted I only have 18 days Game Free. I do feel as though some of my natural sense of protecting myself by not saying too much is coming back. A lot of the anger has passed away as long as I don't dwell on thoughts of my old game. When I shut off the computer I still finding my mind going to live in Ryzom. It's been a practice for a very long time. First with Medievia and then with Ryzom. After my dogs died last year ( a year last August) I totally lost myself in the world of Ryzom. I couldn't bear the thoughts of my dogs being gone. Now that I am coming back to the real world; I am faced with the grief of their loss. I am faced with many things. I believe it is the same as if we were sobering up after drinking. We only postpone the grieving. It is Christmas. I forgive myself for being lazy today. I am watching movies and old westerns on Youtube. I'm wandering back and forth to my neighbors. The convenience store near here is giving free coffee all day. I fully expect to take advantage of that I am waiting for the BBQ to be done. Christmas in South Texas on the Gulf Coast :D
  6. Day 18 8:24 AM I really don't care much for Christmas. I like the eggnog, singing, food, getting together, pretty lights and general generosity of spirit. What I don't like is the commercialism. The fighting among families. The obligations of where you have to be during the holidays. The suicide rate and isolation of people who don't have the picture perfect life that Christmas seems to represent. I think people are wrong to encourage the idea of Santa. You're setting your children up for a fall for the rest of their lives. What kind of rotten deal is it that "Christmas is for the children." No, Christmas is for everyone. Creating an illusion that will give your child depressions during the holiday season for the rest of their lives seems to be just for children. Every thing in the Holidays now seems to be oriented toward spending more so the Big Box stores will have a good season. Maybe instead of calling it Christmas we should say Season to paint ourselves blue and dance around the Big Box stores in worship. For the rest of their lives our children will know they have been lied to. By every single adult they know. By every child older than them. They have been told the lie that Santa Clause exists. This is not a small lie. This is a conspiracy. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I have had a good Christmas this year. I was invited over to the Bakery I go to all the time. I knew almost everyone. The owner is Mexican. He had all his family, employees and friends there. It was a nice way to celebrate. Today in my RV park a neighbor is BBQing. People will kind of wonder around between houses. It is a pleasant way to spend the day. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Today would have been a good day for me to game. The whole week-end would have been a good time. The RPG games usually have things for the holidays. I have missed all their celebrations. If I had been gaming I would have missed everything in real life. So there you go.
  7. Those don't sound like very nice people that you work with. I can't think what sounds worse, the men who needed to attack you to make themselves feel big or the woman who went along with it. Seriously, you can do better than that group of people. I certainly wouldn't want to be talking to a female I was interested in around that group!
  8. Welcome to my world... This is our emotions learning to balance. They swing one way then the other. The swings will get smaller. Our bodies are also adjusting from not eating. I was not eating right for a long time. Now I am eating. So my bowel movements have changed. My muscles are weak. My breathing is bad from sitting and smoking all the time. My sleep patterns are adjusting. Time takes time.
  9. @Shine Magical Thank you. I'll check out that book.
  10. PvP the neighbors...? Where's my light sword?! Let me call my dragon! OMW!
  11. @MmmWatermelon We used to pick these in Iowa when I was a kid. Thanks for the post. You brought back a lot of memories. I lived in the Bay area for a while when I was 17.
  12. Have you ever tried it? Just looking at your track record. But then you will be right. On your death bed you will be right!
  13. @AlexTheGrape In the beginning you were reaching out and trying so hard to make friends. I love the youtube video of you dancing! Going up to five people to give them a compliment. Having people take a picture with you that had that sign, "I don't know this person." You kept it up. Every day. Until people were eating lunch with you. You later in your journal talked about my friends in a casual way that had taken so long for you to develop. The beginning of your journal reminded me when I first started giving gratitudes. Over and over I would be grateful for spaghetti. I don't know why I got stuck on spaghetti particularly but it kept popping up in my gratitudes. I notice in the beginning of your journal you kept being thankful for water. Later on occassionally. But at first almost every time The other thing I noticed was at first when you didn't accomplish a task like meditation for example you would say, "I forgot". As you got more time you would say, "skipped'. And now you just say nope or no lol. To me I could see your self confidence building through this. You self confidence has grown! Now you see something that isn't working for you and you correct it. Before you had to learn when something wasn't working for you. Like 8/50min study periods you reduced down to 6-50 minute study periods. It was like seeing how games had kept you from so much emotional and social development. Yet you fought back! You decided to grow up! And in a years time you moved from the emotional development of a 7 year old to the emotional development closer to a man of your age. Seriously, I am surprised all the girls aren't after you now. I trust though you will not play Casinova. From your journal I believe you will find the right person for you someday in your own way. Honestly, I'm not sure why your story reminded me of The Diary of Anne Frank it's been a long time since I read it too. I just know that I felt as though you had learned how to fly free. AlexTheOwl
  14. There is no one who can say if you are addicted to gaming other than yourself. @Shine Magical
  15. @gankylosaurus @Robert Arctor I think in a way ya'll did me a favor. For years I have been daunted about how to publish, how to write the correct way etc. Well now I'm going to learn how to fly! To hell with if I'm published and how to do it. I am going to find a way to write I feel like I'm flying! Like I do when I'm dancing, singing, running or painting. I think I have looked too many years at the business end and been defeating myself. I will write a book I love to write. I will write a story for me! Then I will self-publish on Smashwords!
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