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dandielionous

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Everything posted by dandielionous

  1. @WorkInProgress I have made it a goal to catch up on my journal reading! DING! DING! DING! You are today's Grand Prize Winner! I really feel like you're on a soul journey. This article might interest you. 7-Signs-You're-Not-Living-The-Life-Your-Soul-Intended RE: Meditation The easiest way I have found to do meditation is to cross my ankles sitting comfortably in a chair. Relax my shoulders, join my hands and relax my eyelids to about half closed. Then listen. I set an alarm.
  2. I find reading the journals here very helpful.
  3. 2:04 PM I am keeping a journal on Game Quitters. I'm not sure how well I like that. At first I was able to write in my journal honestly. As time progresses more people comment on my journal. Before where I felt it useful to feel the connectedness with the community, now I feel as though I could use the privacy of typing my journal in Libre Office before I post on GQ. Part of this may be due to my greater clarity. Granted I only have 18 days Game Free. I do feel as though some of my natural sense of protecting myself by not saying too much is coming back. A lot of the anger has passed away as long as I don't dwell on thoughts of my old game. When I shut off the computer I still finding my mind going to live in Ryzom. It's been a practice for a very long time. First with Medievia and then with Ryzom. After my dogs died last year ( a year last August) I totally lost myself in the world of Ryzom. I couldn't bear the thoughts of my dogs being gone. Now that I am coming back to the real world; I am faced with the grief of their loss. I am faced with many things. I believe it is the same as if we were sobering up after drinking. We only postpone the grieving. It is Christmas. I forgive myself for being lazy today. I am watching movies and old westerns on Youtube. I'm wandering back and forth to my neighbors. The convenience store near here is giving free coffee all day. I fully expect to take advantage of that I am waiting for the BBQ to be done. Christmas in South Texas on the Gulf Coast :D
  4. Day 18 8:24 AM I really don't care much for Christmas. I like the eggnog, singing, food, getting together, pretty lights and general generosity of spirit. What I don't like is the commercialism. The fighting among families. The obligations of where you have to be during the holidays. The suicide rate and isolation of people who don't have the picture perfect life that Christmas seems to represent. I think people are wrong to encourage the idea of Santa. You're setting your children up for a fall for the rest of their lives. What kind of rotten deal is it that "Christmas is for the children." No, Christmas is for everyone. Creating an illusion that will give your child depressions during the holiday season for the rest of their lives seems to be just for children. Every thing in the Holidays now seems to be oriented toward spending more so the Big Box stores will have a good season. Maybe instead of calling it Christmas we should say Season to paint ourselves blue and dance around the Big Box stores in worship. For the rest of their lives our children will know they have been lied to. By every single adult they know. By every child older than them. They have been told the lie that Santa Clause exists. This is not a small lie. This is a conspiracy. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I have had a good Christmas this year. I was invited over to the Bakery I go to all the time. I knew almost everyone. The owner is Mexican. He had all his family, employees and friends there. It was a nice way to celebrate. Today in my RV park a neighbor is BBQing. People will kind of wonder around between houses. It is a pleasant way to spend the day. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Today would have been a good day for me to game. The whole week-end would have been a good time. The RPG games usually have things for the holidays. I have missed all their celebrations. If I had been gaming I would have missed everything in real life. So there you go.
  5. Those don't sound like very nice people that you work with. I can't think what sounds worse, the men who needed to attack you to make themselves feel big or the woman who went along with it. Seriously, you can do better than that group of people. I certainly wouldn't want to be talking to a female I was interested in around that group!
  6. Welcome to my world... This is our emotions learning to balance. They swing one way then the other. The swings will get smaller. Our bodies are also adjusting from not eating. I was not eating right for a long time. Now I am eating. So my bowel movements have changed. My muscles are weak. My breathing is bad from sitting and smoking all the time. My sleep patterns are adjusting. Time takes time.
  7. @Shine Magical Thank you. I'll check out that book.
  8. PvP the neighbors...? Where's my light sword?! Let me call my dragon! OMW!
  9. @MmmWatermelon We used to pick these in Iowa when I was a kid. Thanks for the post. You brought back a lot of memories. I lived in the Bay area for a while when I was 17.
  10. @AlexTheGrape In the beginning you were reaching out and trying so hard to make friends. I love the youtube video of you dancing! Going up to five people to give them a compliment. Having people take a picture with you that had that sign, "I don't know this person." You kept it up. Every day. Until people were eating lunch with you. You later in your journal talked about my friends in a casual way that had taken so long for you to develop. The beginning of your journal reminded me when I first started giving gratitudes. Over and over I would be grateful for spaghetti. I don't know why I got stuck on spaghetti particularly but it kept popping up in my gratitudes. I notice in the beginning of your journal you kept being thankful for water. Later on occassionally. But at first almost every time The other thing I noticed was at first when you didn't accomplish a task like meditation for example you would say, "I forgot". As you got more time you would say, "skipped'. And now you just say nope or no lol. To me I could see your self confidence building through this. You self confidence has grown! Now you see something that isn't working for you and you correct it. Before you had to learn when something wasn't working for you. Like 8/50min study periods you reduced down to 6-50 minute study periods. It was like seeing how games had kept you from so much emotional and social development. Yet you fought back! You decided to grow up! And in a years time you moved from the emotional development of a 7 year old to the emotional development closer to a man of your age. Seriously, I am surprised all the girls aren't after you now. I trust though you will not play Casinova. From your journal I believe you will find the right person for you someday in your own way. Honestly, I'm not sure why your story reminded me of The Diary of Anne Frank it's been a long time since I read it too. I just know that I felt as though you had learned how to fly free. AlexTheOwl
  11. There is no one who can say if you are addicted to gaming other than yourself. @Shine Magical
  12. @gankylosaurus @Robert Arctor I think in a way ya'll did me a favor. For years I have been daunted about how to publish, how to write the correct way etc. Well now I'm going to learn how to fly! To hell with if I'm published and how to do it. I am going to find a way to write I feel like I'm flying! Like I do when I'm dancing, singing, running or painting. I think I have looked too many years at the business end and been defeating myself. I will write a book I love to write. I will write a story for me! Then I will self-publish on Smashwords!
  13. Day 16 10:50 AM Yesterday was a totally non-productive day. By the time I finally felt like moving it was 2:30 in the afternoon. I thought about it for another hour then gave up the idea all together. I was very busy the day before. I went to see neighbors, went to wal-mart, went to post office, saw friends etc. Then yesterday I was totally non-productive. I have noticed this about myself before while keeping this journal. I am trying to go from a total sedentary state to where I was almost two and a half years ago when I was not gaming. I have to say, "Well that didn't work!" lol I must not be too gentle on myself. Just sitting in front of the computer doing other activities than gaming. But not too hard. Trying to fix everything in one day. @hycniejsy Hycniejsy has accepted my challenge for staying non-gaming for two weeks until January 4th. I am not really fond of issuing challenges. I have never issued a challenge before. But I feel two weeks is one I can handle. My approach is to take it one day at a time, one hour at a time, one minute at a time. I am not out of the woods yet. I am still sitting in front of the computer the majority of the day. I have times I tear up for no reason. Then the next second I feel exhilarated. The horrible truth is after Christmas I will have to work on quitting smoking too. This is very hard for me. I have smoked 50 years. To me the main thing here is prioritized is stop gaming. If I do nothing else all day long I can not game. As long as I do not game, my day has been a success. I must remember that. I must remember to stay in the present. Right here, right now, this moment, this second, I am right here right now. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Upon Self Help Books I have read many, many, maaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnyyyyyyyyy, self help books. I read self help and religious books and every other kind of book until I knew all the words they would say before they said them. Finally, one day I came across a phrase in the Mormon Bible I believe it was a quote from Jesus. It said,"Why do you look for me in books when I am with you?" Now I have tried in the last few days to research this quote. I can find no reference to it through Google. But this helped me a lot. Because I realized if I was walking outside reading a book, totally concerned with trying to be like some book was telling me to be, I would miss a fairy sitting in a tulip. (Yes I would love to see a fairy! Not saying there are any but if there are I would like to see it! ) If Jesus or God or Gandhi or my Dead Mother were walking down the road toward me I wouldn't see it. I think self-help books have a place but eventually we have to realize the authors are just people like us. I feel I need to make contact with the Kingdom of God which lies within me. I need to listen to his voice on the wind. I need to thank Gaiya as her warmth comes up from the earth. I need to touch a tree and understand it's communicating with God. So yes I feel self-help books have a place. I just feel eventually we must grow out of them. As Bug Bunny would say, "T-t-that's all folks!"
  14. I'm not sure what you're doing here. You're looking to quit gaming or make a documentary about people who are quitting gaming?
  15. @AlexTheGrape Thank you for the photos! I have been downloading your photos to use for desktop picitures etc. Thank you for the encouragement. Reading your journal was like reading a coming of age story. Have you ever read the Diary of Anne Frank? I would give you a link but my internet is not working that well. ;( I believe it's available for a free download. I think there is also a movie.
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