lilX

Yes, counselling is expensive but its an investment. I'm feeling less stressed right now, but I really need to learn coping skills and seeing things from a positive angle.

Im still having a hard time coping with stress and negative ways of thinking. I am considering seeing a counsellor. I am still keeping off games so far.

agreed! I relapsed into playing games again. Not happy about it. Starting 90 days detox again

I read your article on trolling and its a good reminder for me to care less about how others will think about me on the internet and in real life. And yes I like food

Nice! Go Go Go!

Love the social goals and effort!

I love listening to music too

Nice! I really need to learn to stop leaking announcement Day 6,7,8 To Quit: Caffeine: 0 Gaming: 0 Internet Browsing: 1 min Mindless News Reading: 1 min Porn watching: 0

Love the goals and challenge, and your long term goals. Good luck, stay strong man.

Thank you so much Alex for your support! This community rocks!! Love what you say about setting small daily goals, that makes total sense- if I want to improve my normal interactions then I should do normal interacting things haha!! I'll have a think and work on this, would love to hear suggestions from anyone on this! I used to do weird things like go up to random girls and speak Chinese, but I'm pretty introverted nowadays and just do normal things with the friends I made. So my suggestion would be go out and do something with your friends, maybe dine out, have a drink at a bar, or go shopping?

I just upgraded my Respawn package to include a 30 minutes coaching session with Cam yesterday. Here is a summary of the session: I told him that I am very interested in helping the world, especially in the area of environment and climate change. He was telling me that I need to take care of myself, before I can have a positive impact on the world. I need to be aware of times when I start to have bad thoughts or get stressed, and take a break from things. This could be stretching, taking a walk, meditation, writing on my journal, or socializing with someone online. Self care is a prerequisite for caring about others and I should congratulate myself for taking care of myself. Continuously take action to build momentum. If I want to support the environment, brainstorm ways to do so and start with something small this weekend. I have a purpose (to help the environment, to build a good relationship with my girlfriend, to be supportive to family and friends), and purpose is key to avoiding procrastination. I've been having bad thoughts rather frequently today and I've been taking breaks around that. I was reading that Cam is going to go to Tanzania, Africa, to help build a clean water well! I'm going to do some overtime this month, and pledge a portion of the profits that I make from overtime work to help fund the water well! I'm not sure on the exact portion of the profits yet (Of course I do overtime only after taking care of myself and taking appropriate breaks). Right now the project I am working on is the structural design of a Buddhist Temple. It's quite a big temple and I will need to review and learn a lot as I do the design and calculations, so my profits won't be high. Day 4 Daily: Workout: 30 minutes Healthy Eating: 5.5/10 Hygiene: 7/10 Mindful/focus: 3/10 Yoga/sitting meditation: 8 minutes Journal: done Posture: 3.1/10 Sleep: 12:15am wake: 8:15am read/comment on maximum 3 other journals: 0/3 Act of kindness: To Quit: Caffeine: Gaming: 0 Internet Browsing: 2 seconds Mindless News Reading: Porn watching: 0 Day 5 9:56pm Daily: Workout: 30 minutes Healthy Eating: 7.8/10 Hygiene: 7/10 Mindful/focus: 3/10 Yoga/sitting meditation: 4 minutes Journal: done Posture: 2.9/10 Sleep: 12:15am wake: 8:15am read/comment on maximum 3 other journals: 0/3 Act of kindness: To Quit: Caffeine: Gaming: 0 Internet Browsing: Mindless News Reading: Porn watching: 0

Gaming is more addictive for some people than others. As long as you explain to others that it's you who needs to stop gaming, not them, and you need to stop gaming to improve your life and improve on your life, they will hopefully understand. Be grateful for the family members and friends who support you. Don't worry about it. Good luck!

I got to 40 days of no gaming before relapsing! I just spent the whole last Wednesday night reading news without any sleep. That's like 12 hours lol.. Then I played games for 1 minute because if I don't play games it won't count as relapse. Then I watched porn the next day and read more news And then I spent about 2 hours reading news and 5 hours playing computer games on friday night that I didn't see my gf until late at night (I told her about it though.. she kicked my butt lol) I'm on day 3 of no gaming right now. Hopefully I will not relapse again

I'm going to choose to be ignorant and try not to read the news. I just spent the whole Wednesday night reading news without any sleep. That's like 12 hours lol.. Then I watched porn the next day and read more news And then I spent about 2 hours reading news and 5 hours playing computer games on friday night that I didn't see my gf until late at night (I told her about it though.. she kicked my butt lol) I am trying that today. I had cravings all day to browse the internet, or read news, or play games. I felt quite stressed today. My specialty is engineering, not politics. My engineering skills will better the world in a more meaningful way than keeping up with every detail of the news. The other problem with news is that even though it's reporting reality, it's reporting negative things to keep people reading. If we keep reading negative things, our perception of the world will be distorted. We need to remember that the world have never been as safe, peaceful, prosperous, and free as it is today (I welcome debate on this) I do feel guilty about choosing to be more ignorant and not reading the news, but I will quit reading the news. I will only read it for a few minutes when I'm with my girlfriend because I can easily do stop reading when I'm with her. Thanks Day 1-3 9:27pm Daily: Workout: 5 hours Healthy Eating: 6/10 Hygiene: 7/10 Mindful/focus: 3/10 Yoga/sitting meditation: 15 minutes Journal: done Posture: 3/10 Sleep: 10pm-1:30am wake: 8:30am-10:30am read/comment on maximum 3 other journals: 0/3 Act of kindness: To Quit: Caffeine: 2 cups of tea Gaming: 0 Internet Browsing: 5 minutes Mindless News Reading: 1 minute Porn watching: 0

Thanks, but I'm not doing as well as I hoped to. Well frick me I started browsing the internet today. Here's how I think it happened: Started out day tired from having a hard time falling asleep past 2 days, waking in the middle of night, and getting up early in the morning. I have acid reflux that hurts my stomach when I sleep sometimes, which doesn't help with me falling asleep. Had a green tea drink to help me with being tired. Caffeine is a huge trigger for me. I used to drink caffeine to feel the high and binge on games. I regret that decision and I promise myself that I won't do it again. Unblocked youtube to view ethics video to help me prepare for ethics exam that I need to pass to become a licensed engineer Noticed a link to a video about anonymous official. Thought the information could be important, clicked on link, got another link about Snowden And then DNC reports Eventually ended up browsing the internet for 3.5 hours. Reblocking youtube and bunch of other sites now. Should I continue to attempt to read news in moderation? Should I stop going to youtube, browsing the internet, and reading news alltogether? What do you think? Good experience that happened to me today: Chatted online with a Mormom friend who helped me in University. What I'm grateful for: 1) got up early 2) Bill Gates wrote a new blogpost that is very optimistic and positive about the world 3) Wikipedia. It's free and nonprofit! 4) Internet. Even though there is lots of additive sites and problems, it is an amazing tool. 5) Sleep. Day 40 9:02pm Daily: Workout: 65 minutes Healthy Eating: 6/10 Hygiene: 3/10 Mindful/focus: 2.8/10 Yoga/sitting meditation: 6 minutes Journal: done Posture: 2.8/10 Sleep: N/A wake: N/A read/comment on maximum 3 other journals: 1/3 Act of kindness: done To Quit: Caffeine: green tea Gaming: 0 Internet Browsing: 3.5 hours Mindless News Reading: 10 minutes Porn watching: 0

That's still better than quitting video games to snort cocaine lol. IMO videos and browsing the internet is less addictive than video games and porn, and I would consider that progress - of course ideally we want to quit videos and internet browsing all together. I swear, some of the sites like youtube must be investing huge amounts of money to figure out how to make you continuously view videos for as long as possible. Good job on working on your social skills. Stay strong man!

Thanks! No one complimented me for my consistency before. Good experience that happened to me today: I dined out with my dad. What I'm grateful for: 1) sunset 2) Micheal Jordan just donated 2 million to police relations and legal defense funds. http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-36889860 3) I wasn't bullied in high school because some of my classmates were really outspoken about bullying 4) A Mormon guy who helped me in an university project. I may not have have graduated if he did not help me because I was constantly barely passing. 5) He went on to around the world to help others and spread his religion. I'm not Mormom but I am inspired by his niceness. Day 39 Daily: Workout: 25 minutes Healthy Eating: 6/10 Hygiene: 2/10 Mindful/focus: 2.9/10 Yoga/sitting meditation: 5 minutes Journal: done Posture: 2.9/10 Sleep: 10pm, fell asleep about 11:30pm wake: 3:30am, sleep 5:30am to 7:14am read/comment on maximum 3 other journals: 0/3 Act of kindness: To Quit: Caffeine: 0 Gaming: 0 Internet Browsing: 14 minutes Mindless News Reading: 45 minutes Porn watching: 0

Jacking this thread. Is this okay? https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/hellochinese-learn-chinese/id1001507516?mt=8

This was super motivating for me.

Thanks to Cam and everyone in this forum for that! I never really talked about my personal life but I will talk about it now. Stayed over at girlfriend's (soon to be fiancee's) place this weekend, as I have been doing most weekends. We went hiking and watched Secret Life of Pets. I don't really like that movie because the plot is predictable. Really nice to be with her. Later I went to a water park with a friend and his group of friends (my girlfriend got work). One thing I liked about this friend is that he wants to try new things. He insisted on going onto every slide once, including the kiddy slides. Makes me want to try more new things with my girlfriend. Good experience that happened to me today: I left my car keys and gym pass on a squat rack and someone (who jacked the squat rack that I was working on lol) picked it up and gave it to me. What I'm grateful for: 1) good qualities of my girlfriend 2) healthy eating 3) nice bench about a 5 minutes walk from my workplace that I can sit and meditate during breaks 4) girlfriend's parents seems to be ok with me 5) my friend who invited me to the water park and his girlfriend stayed with me and made sure I'm not going down slides by myself. Day 36 Daily: Workout: 1 hour Healthy Eating: 7/10 Hygiene: 7.5/10 Mindful/focus: 3/10 Yoga/sitting meditation: 1 hour Journal: Posture: 3.4/10 Sleep: N/A wake: N/A read/comment on maximum 3 other journals: 0/3 Act of kindness: To Quit: Caffeine: 0 Gaming: 0 Internet Browsing: Mindless News Reading: Porn watching: 0 Day 37 Daily: Workout: 40 minutes? (went to waterpark for 7 hours but mostly just standing there waiting in line) Healthy Eating: 6/10 Hygiene: 5.5/10 Mindful/focus: 3/10 Yoga/sitting meditation: 5 minutes Journal: Posture: 3.5/10 Sleep: 11pm wake: 7:49am read/comment on maximum 3 other journals: 0/3 Act of kindness: To Quit: Caffeine: 0 Gaming: 0 Internet Browsing: 14 minutes Mindless News Reading: Porn watching: 0 Day 38 7:41pm Daily: Workout: 30 minutes Healthy Eating: 7.5/10 Hygiene: 7/10 Mindful/focus: 2.9/10 Yoga/sitting meditation: 6.5 minutes Journal: done Posture: 3.2/10 Sleep: N/A wake: N/A read/comment on maximum 3 other journals: 3/3 Act of kindness: To Quit: Caffeine: 0 Gaming: 0 Internet Browsing: 25 minutes Mindless News Reading: 1 minutes Porn watching: 0

That's awesome! Have fun with your family!

@Alkan I get what you mean.

Hope you do well on your writing career!

I'm sorry for your loss, and hope things turns out okay for you guys.

Hey LilChenChen, nice to see you here! You're actually asking me a question I was thinking about some days ago.. well actually I always ask myself this question but I don't always know the answer. And for the moment I don't really know. I'll take life areas and describe ideal situations. Career My longterm goal would be a fullfilling job. Having certain responsabilities but not a ton of negative stress with them. Ideally it's a job where the result depends mostly on myself. I want to be appreciated for my work. And I want to work following my own vision. I'm a high achiever. If I work for something I want to achieve the best. My (probably) ideal situation would be being an entrepreneur who's pretty succesfull. Actually having freedom (a lot of passive income and automation) and not having to worry about future income too much. The service I would deliver would be top-notch, which alows me not to have to work all the time Social Having several good friends I can have fun with. Meeting new people regularly. Being someone who feels comfortable, not too self aware and being an easy talker. A pleasant person that's trustworthy Health/Physical Being fit and flexible and healthy. Being pretty strong, having good stamina. Spiritual I'm not religious. I just believe in living a life worth living. I'm more of a philosophical kind of person. I'm constantly thinking about the meaning of life and how I should spend my limited time (I'm deliberatly not saying my life 'here' because I don't believe in an afterlife, when it's over it's over). So spirtually I would be happy, at peace, calm in various situations, a good person, being the best person possible but also being me. Family I probably want a girlfriend and a kid (max 2). Have a good contact with family members. Basically my best friends would also be like family. I would be a reliable person who would be able to help in a variety of situations for these people. Financial Comfortable. I little bit like I'm at the moment (because I'm not living alone yet). Being able to buy fun stuff, but not be a crazy shopaholic kind of person. Having a lot of money would definitely help but is not a goal in itself. I'd rather have a lot of free time and a happy life than a lot of stress and tons of money and fame. Personal (fun & growth) Seeing a lot of places, having adventure. Spending fun times with the right people. Alw ays keep working on myself, learning about stuff and improving in things I like. I would want a learning-mindset even on the day I'd die. I never want to stop learning What does this mean for long term goals Well it's hard because all of these are really fuzzy. So I'll make a top 3 of goals Atm I'm learning the guitar because it's fun, growth and it might become a career/financial thing. It's also something to express myself with, music can be very spiritual to me and it could have some nice social effects as well. It's basically a lot of things I'm looking for right now. So a longterm goal here would be, being a guitar tutor, composing my own music, doing some gigs maybe but not being famous (that would make me a slave I guess). Being able to entertain people, bring a smile on their face and earning a good amount of money by doing it. My current job is good enough. I like it but I also know I will not keep doing this for the rest of my life. It's too stressfull and it depends on too many other people above and below me. Even if I do my job really good it could cause me tons of stress and difficulties.. that's not something I like. I'm also coaching a lot of people that have a 'good enough' mindset, that really really bothers me. I probably don't want to climb the ladder. I think I'd rather build my own wall. Being more social. Going out more, but not too much because I actually like being at home. I want to get to know more people, build more friendships, get some sort of relationship (could also be a LAT-relationship). Being a helping hand for my friends, a calm person, someone who can listen and really trustworthy. Your current goals and ambitions are very noble. Avoiding gaming and twitch will definitely help your degree of success in achieving them. Good luck!