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championeal

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Everything posted by championeal

  1. Day 4 I legitimately had a dream last night where I said “fuck it”, relapsed, and binged. When I woke up I had to remind myself that was just a dream that didn’t actually happen. Today has been a day for reclaiming. Rather than completely blocking sites like Reddit and Twitch, I went through and manually unsubscribed from every gaming related channel, and then blocked those specific URLs. I now only follow about 10 Twitch channels, one of which is Healthy Gamer with Dr. K (a good resource if you’ve never seen or heard of him). Also, I went through my emails and started unsubscribing. OK I didn’t finish this one because when my email hasn’t been managed in years it’s like a massive pit that I can’t seem to get to the bottom of. Wow I had a ton of useless garbage in my email. But now, I’m trying to reclaim that space to actually get useful updates to my life (aka Game Quitters). OKAY, but that was all busy work stuff. The good stuff, didn’t come easy, at first. I just sat there for the first many minutes of boredom thinking how easy it would be to play games. Then I said, “FINE, I will try the pomodoro timer method.” Played my trumpet for the first time since college 4 years ago. Damn I’m rusty as hell, like this guy. Gotta restart from somewhere though. Pomodoro is love, pomodoro is life. - Neal
  2. I really like the values list! Super cool that you have an idea of who you want to be. You’ve inspired me. I think I’m going to have to make a list of my own.
  3. I like the "old fashioned" journaling on paper. You got some good reflections in there. With regards to the gaming detox, relapses happen. I encourage you to recommit and just get started!
  4. Okay so hear me out on this one. Our bodies are actually really smart. You know how when you're sore you naturally will move that muscle in a different way. That's because your body actually knows what it needs. Something that I've started to tell myself that helps me to not judge myself when I sleep a lot: "Wow, my body must have really needed some extra rest." Hope this helps Sometimes you just gotta get thoughts down. Thanks for sharing
  5. Day 3 Another night, another video game dream. It’s tough because then the first thing on my mind for the day is gaming. My solution so far has been to give my mind a fresh start through exercise right away. Just get moving and don’t get caught up in my thoughts. This is the workout challenge I’m trying to do right now. It helps me that I don’t have to plan the exercises, I just turn on youtube and follow the videos. I feel like the real challenge hasn’t started yet. I’ve had my job the past few days, and all my free time has been filled up by watching Respawn videos, taking the action steps, and reflecting on the questions. But now I’m done with all the modules. Tomorrow I’ll have to actually start doing new activities and stuff. Self-gratitude moment: finishing the Respawn workbook 😃 The real work starts tomorrow! - Neal
  6. Maybe this could help: Something that I've started lately is setting timers for tons of things. I feel like gaming completely warped my sense of time. I just want to be able to feel how long things take again. I even set a timer for the shower just so I know how long I've been in there.
  7. Day 2 First Gratitude List 1) my new job 2) game quitters 3) my family (dad, step-mom, brother) 4) my other family (mom, step-dad, sisters) 5) my new coworkers are friendly 6) my supervisor is helpful and understanding 7) music 😎 pasta (dinner for tonight) 9) my bed 10) breathing (living) I don’t want to get ahead of myself, but I’m feeling good. Probably helped that I’d been thinking about this for awhile before going cold turkey. I recently started working at Starbucks so I at least have a base structure I’m working with. And a couple weeks ago I started one of those 30 day workout challenges. So, I definitely have some things going for me, but before yesterday I was still gaming with any free time I have. This gaming detox is the next step on the path. I’ve completed the first 6 Modules of Respawn. Kinda like last time that I quit, I’m feeling excited and motivated about the journey. At the same time, I’ve definitely been having thoughts all day about going back: “When can I go back?” “What about when the new season of League of Legends starts?” (my main game of choice for the past years) “What about when Halo Infinite comes out?” (my friends and I were super into Halo 3 in high school) “What about the Yogscast Jingle Jam Humble Bundle that happens every Christmas? Can’t I at least buy those games?” My mind didn’t leave me alone throughout the day. I even had a dream last night about playing games. These are all things that I know will come up with letting go. It happened to me last time too. One thing that makes me excited is that it snowed today where I live. I’m pumped because I actually love Winter. I love the snow, cold and all. I can’t wait for more. I asked many of my coworkers today if they ski/snowboard. I’m hoping that’s one of the ways I can meet up with people in the coming months. Looking forward to the days to come. - Neal
  8. I've had an eardrum burst and have tinnitus. It sucks because there's no control over when it's gonna happen or when it decides to go away. Hope going off the med helps in some way. The gratefulness is a good silver lining, like "Hey, at least I can still hear things..."
  9. First time I quit video games was almost 6 years ago. I had dropped out of college, been at home for a year and half, and gotten into countless arguments with my parents. I had quit games many times throughout that time for a day, a few days, almost a week once. But games had their hold on me, really ever since I started playing online multiplayer. Gaming once had been a hobby, but now it was a competition to get to the top of the ladder. I hardly enjoyed video games like I used to. I had been working with a therapist, and that was helping a little. Still, I had gotten to the point that I was just so tired of it all. I was tired of living at home. I was tired of not doing anything with my life. Determined to graduate college, I realized the only way I could do it was without games. In a moment of clarity, I decided it was the end, and I really felt it this time. Honestly I cried, I journaled countless pages in my notebook, and cried some more. I had been playing since the N64. I had always loved playing video games. It felt like I was leaving a part of me behind. Unexpected to me, once I had fully committed I felt a strong resolve, almost felt like I knew I would graduate this time. I quickly made myself very involved back at school, and with lots to focus on, games were hardly ever on my mind. Life at college felt sooooo good. I was finally living my life. I have played games occasionally since then, but nothing too serious, and life had been good. That was, until COVID hit this year. I had been working as an outdoor educator for the past two years, loving my job and my coworkers. However, my job immediately shutdown. The job was also providing my housing, for which they gave us a month to move out. So, within a month my entire life changed. All jobs in my field were currently closed, and I didn’t have enough savings to start renting on my own. I begrudgingly did the only thing I felt I could do, which was move back home. With no job, no purpose, and leaving all my friends behind when I moved back home, gaming sneakily crept back into my life. Within the next month I was gaming 10+ hours a day, staying up til sunrise, and sleeping all day. Wow, crazy how things like this can come back when left unchecked. Well, as you can imagine, this has led to many more arguments with my parents, and me feeling totally unfulfilled with my life. For a while, I was hoping that COVID would just pass, quarantine would be over, and I could go happily back to my job. However, it’s been clear for awhile now that’s not the case, and I’m ready to stop sitting around letting life pass me by. I figure while I’m in quarantine is the perfect time to get some solid habits going and get myself figured out. If I can do it now (arguably one of the hardest times to do it), then I’ll be set for the future when quarantine is over. Wish me luck. - Neal