Pochatok

Hiya! No Games: 29. So close to a full month yayyyyy!!!! The cravings are there, but it is manageable. There is some exciting gamedev going on, which always gets me drawn back into the gaming world, but I hope that event concludes soon. Not a bad day- though I struggled with finding things to do, eventually I got fairly productive. Painting makes me feel very happy right now, but I have to moderate it cuz yesterday I spent over 2 hours painting, and that was A LOT of painting. I began applying for a new internship, and if I get it it will cover my University Expenses for the next year YEHAWWW Good thing today: Jazz Jam was super great. Love it. Stay well people, Po

Hey @Moonlight, how is it going?

For me, the gap slowly filled itself in the more I was discovering and trying new things. Over December, I have completely cut out gaming out of my life for over a month in a row- and that has been largely due to me discovering more fun books to read, interesting movies and documentaries (that make me want to think more rather than watch more), as well as developing new hobbies. Additionally, I turned away from all gaming-related connections like social media and friendships that were only existing because of games for about two weeks. TL; DR: It will take time, but I very much encourage you to try to discover as many curiosities as possible, and try to make the things you currently do more rewarding- there are plenty of tutorials online on how to achieve that. Hope this helps, Po

Hi! Thank you for putting so much besides plain text into these journal entries, they are super fun to read! Good luck on your journey- I hope that things get rougher you will stay strong 🙂 Po

No Games: 28 Woah, honestly had some pretty serious urges today, which resulted in lots of time spent on gaming subreddits and such. I think that was largely due to me feeling quite depressed in the morning, and high amounts of stress always fuels the urge to seek cheap pleasure and escapism. Other than that, I painted for awhile today, which made me very happy. I missed doing stuff during my free time that I enjoy rather than simply need. The painting is coming along nicely 🙂 Besides that, I am stressed about feeling behind on something I have not done today- not sure what that could be, but I likely will find out tomorrow. In general, this fear of forgetting something has been getting in the way of doing things that are relaxing and joyful lately. Today has been a breakthrough, but I am afraid it will have consequences. Bahh 😠 Good thing: I remembered a good portion of my dreams today and they were fun! I met some of my favorite Anime Characters and had a walk in a wild forest heh. Random thought: I won't let stress overcome me. My past coping mechanisms would result in temporal stress relief but long-term stress accumulation. Very dumb of me, but hey I just couldn't see it back then. Now, gaming was one of those coping mechanisms, and it still tries to find a way in whenever I am feeling down. Nope, I won't do it! If I ever will play games again, I will do it when I am at my best, when I can practice effective self-control walk away from the game feeling relaxed rather than guilty. Thank you all who read my entries, you very much encourage me to keep going! Po

I have an English Major with two Minors in the Arts Realm of my university. The Arts is what I enjoy doing for sure, but find self-teaching more worth my time and money than majoring. English is my major because I find the classes challenging, and value writing a lot. However, when I think of the 2nd part of your question, my choice of English Major becomes not so reasonable. I am still not sure what I want to do in life completely- I love performing and painting, but do not want to dedicate myself entirely to either; I like administrative work, but not very sure if there is a major that would help me get those type of jobs- I am doing pretty fine as I am imo. So yes, quite a complicated topic for me. I have the rest of the term to figure this out- I want to learn more about Government and Business Majors at my University, but other than that hmmmmm not so sureeeeee. Sorry for a lengthy response, this is difficult to make sense of in my brain haha. Po

Hey, you are very much not alone in this situation right now! We are in the middle of a pandemic, many of my friends and relatives have been having trouble keeping their jobs or finding new ones. It's not all your fault, not at all: the world is just a shitty place right now 😕 Don't give up, and keep trying to improve. Life is very difficult right now, but it will get better if you keep trying your hardest :>>>

Oh my jeez you just crushed my universe with this sentence lmao. Never thought about this, but I am so sure you are correct to some extension! I actually noticed that the more I enjoy doing things in smaller bits, the more I can play games in moderation (when I relapse- been a month since the last time), although I still prefer not to play at all. Have you heard of a process called "metacognition"? I think it could help you appreciate small things more.

I'm sorry to hear that you have relapsed! It's okay though, don't be so hard on yourself. Keep learning about how to deal with situations like this better, and don't stop trying! Your journey doesn't end here, you are just taking a much-needed break so you can keep walking much, much further 🙂 Btw, this was amazingly written. I tutor in writing, and this was very pleasing to my eyes! Hope tomorrow will be a better day! Po

Okay I am back! Was visiting family over the weekend, so didn't have the time to reflect all that much. No Games: 27! Heck yes. Though I feel like playing, I have been finding other activities much more relaxing 🙂 My parents, of course, brought up the possible issue of my major not reflecting my dream job. Regretfully, I very much agree; I have no precise idea on what I wish to do, and have unreasonable expectations for achieving high-paying jobs without having a proper degree. And, I do not like my major that much to begin with, though, honestly, nothing has seemed quite appealing during my two years at school so far. I gotta really think this through before I can no longer change my major!! Other than that, it has been a very relaxing weekend, I needed that sooo much! I am feeling good, although lacking a large to-do list always freaks me out. Time to find some activities to fill the day up! Have a good one, and thank you for reading! Po

Hey ale, welcome to GameQuitters! I think you're having the right mindset over here, I agree with most of the things you've said. One thing I would recommend you think more about is how exactly you stop using Youtube. For me, I realized that since I will still use it daily for watching all kinds of things anyways (music, art tutorials, etc.), I disabled search and watch history (and deleted them as well) so that most of my recommendations are directly from my subscriptions. Not sure how much you use YouTube, but I recommend to think more about it as well! About making studying more fun: hmmm didn't happen for me- studying actually got more boring. Instead, I tried developing more hobbies- I made an ArtStation account to look at art every day, I began learning composition and digital art in my freetime, and started exercising more regularly. I say, if you feel like studying isn't getting more fun, try finding other ways of making your day more fun- studying isn't always the answer haha. Cheers! Po

Hey Lampshade, I hope you keep posting here! Stay committed, shit happens all the time, especially when you live in a pandemic. If you feel comfortable sharing the issues, please do! Some people could offer valuable feedback at any moment, you know 🙂 Hm, that's interesting! For me, gaming has almost always been the symptom. Like, I do not think I would be addicted to games in the first place if not for some underlying tendencies of my character. I hope that gaming becoming a symptom will help you deal with addiction more easily though! Keep it up cuz I'm still reading this >:) Po

Day 62 No Games: 24. I am too tired to be playing. This week has been incredibly exhausting and sleep-deprived. Somewhat productive, as I missed one of my job meetings 😞 I did well in classes and stayed on top of most of my work, but was quite forgetful. Good thing today: I got extra cuddles! Other than that, I am ready to die in bed Po

Hey Rich, welcome to Gamequitters! Congrats on making it this far already- it will get better from here. About trepidation: yes, you will most likely fail at first. Very few people who join this forum manage to hit 90 days on the first try. I've been trying to quit for many years now, and only now am past the three week mark. The purpose is not to succeed here, the purpose is to try. Over time you will be able to get closer and closer to 90 days, and that process of failing and trying again is the most important thing here. Don't be afraid of failure and/or struggle when trying to quit games- both mark progress rather than retreat, although at times it may not seem so. I wish you luck and willpower on your journey, and hope to see your journal entries soon! Keep us posted, Po

Day 61 No games: 23. Today was easy given how busy I was. I honestly felt like collapsing at some times. Nonetheless, I am very happy with how today went. Resetting porn count! Damn it, I should really prioritize this as my top personal issue right now because it is. Yes, I have been very stressed out, but I still have so many other wonderful things to do but porn. Other than that, very productive day. Still forgetting to do some things now and then, but I'm mostly on top of my game. Gonna go do some more HW and then will head out for the night. Cheers! Po

Thank you @A New Man! A catch-up for Day 60 No Games: 22. Onto the one month mark babyyyy. I have stronger urges than usual, as I have been visiting gaming-related communities again. I think it's because of how busy I've been lately; that is quite stressful. Other than that, it was a beautiful day. I really tried to do something good on MLK day, and feel like I accomplished a lot of important things. And, got most of my HW done. Just some reading left for one of the classes. So, today should be pretty chill! Good thing from today: Jazz Jam. I didn't play my best, like always, but it was a blast. Stay well everyone! Po

Day 59! No Games: 21. Three weeks free! Kind of want to reinstall my favorite game for tonight, but also I've got plenty on my to-do list yet. I think I'll keep working for some more time. I've decided to keep the porn tracker off this journal, unless I am resetting it. This is gamequitters after all. It's been a good day. Minimal distractions, did lots of things for myself and for others, caught up on most homework. I think I'll just read for the rest of the day. And workout as well- my body feels very sore from lack of exercise haha. I think tomorrow might be tough in terms of not deciding to play games again; but I will have a lot of things to get done tomorrow still, so it should be 👌 No random thoughts today, I am pretty happy. Good thing: Giving compliments to my partner. I love her so much! Have a good week everyone, Po

I try to journal slightly earlier than the very end of my day- Either 2-3 hours before I am actually asleep, whenever I am catching a break during that time, or when I have just a couple things left to do before falling asleep. Like, if I have cleaning up and showering left, I'd do it right before or in-between these two. Also, it helps to give more value to journaling. Try to make it more meaningful- for me it is a time to self-reflect, feel good about what happened during the day, and get excited for tomorrow. I suggest you try different formats until you find one that actually makes you excited about journaling every day. Cheers!

Oh, it's "Chernobyl: The History of a Nuclear Catastrophe". A bit plain in terms of how it's written, but the topic itself is very interesting to me. Next up, I have "Heavy, An American Memoir", and "A Little Life". I have been trying to read challenging, different-from-what-I-would-usually-prefer kind of books. What about you?

Day 58 No games: 20... yay almost three weeks! And it's really easy hehe No Porn: 0... however, I feel like this is the last time for at least this month I'll be resetting this. I honestly do not enjoy porn anymore at all. I've began to see so much past it, and also see how ugly it really is. I've been appreciating my gf more, treating her nicer. Hugs feel very good. And I also am very annoyed at how I perceive people who dress attractively- as if they want me to stare at them, or make a comment about how pretty they look. Nope, not at all. And I want to get these thoughts out of my head, and not be so controlled by how people look. I've installed a more powerful blocking app on my phone, so even if I will have cravings, I won't be able to really get them anywhere lol. Other than that, it's an okay day. I certainly was depressed today. Not sure why, and that's okay! Sometimes it just hits me, out of the blue (haha what a pun). I've done some things today: tutoring went fairly well, I feel like I was quite helpful to people. I did some homework, got maybe half of my to-do list done. I worked out a fair amount as well, and did a ton of stuff for my 2nd job. Still, I feel like I wasted an hour on social media today, and another 30 minutes went to porn. Not fun at all. I want to read more tomorrow! Reading is actually fun now heh. Also, maybe I should draw/compose a bit, it's been so long with these. Gotta run, Po

Hey, glad to see you're still posting here almost daily even though it's been like yearssss. It is very nice and inspiring to read your entries from time to time. It's like, life as it is 🙂 You don't try to make things seem bright or dark, you describe them as they are, and that reminds me to be honest with myself, and others, too. Thank you! Po

Hey! Day 57 it is No Games: 19. Have an urge to play right now cuz I'm stressed, but nonononono not today! No Porn: 4. Have had whatsoever no urges, I honestly just don't want to watch it. Very surprising to be feeling this way, but also that's quite helpful heh Today has been very productive, I did sooo much stuff and I'm pretty tired. Worked for 4-6 hours, gotta catch up on homework and stretch out a bit before I shall decompose for the night. Oh, my grandmother has passed away yesterday morning. It is expected, but still sad. What's upsetting to me is that I am not feeling much- I haven't seen her in a long time, so maybe that's why I am so disconnected. Thought of the day: I think I read too much into other people, and appear to be very nice, funny, and fun. The thing is, I feel like people actually perceive me that way, but it causes me a lot of stress as I am constantly evaluating myself. A part of this is seeing myself on zoom, I am sure. But also, hearing my voice. It's easy to turn my camera off, but I can not stop hearing myself. Gotta figure out a way to stop being so self-critical whenever I am socializing. I think I should strive less for perfection and focus more on just letting my real self handle stuff. And let other people lead the conversation. That's all for today. So happy it's the weekend. Stay safe and be well, Po

I think I've relapsed 5-10 times since joining, but since I've been at school since January, I have not relapsed in 3-ish weeks. What would lead me to relapse, as I recently have figured out, is high amounts of stress/excitement. Whenever something bad would happen, I had the urge to quit reality and dissolve myself in gaming. But, feeling very good/joyful would trigger an urge to play as well. What helped me: figuring out what causes me to relapse was big. It is very difficult to resist the urge to game for me, so instead I tried to prevent the urge for showing up. Finding different stress-relieving activities (reading, music, doing some arts-crafts) and excitement-relieving activities (exercise, eating) was what I tried to do. Not only these activities prevented my urges from developing in certain situations(I would still feel an urge, but very small), but also helped in reducing the strength of these urges. I still get urges to play at times, but after 2+ weeks, it is easier for me to resist those urges. Okay, and now some small things I've done: ColdTurkey for all gaming-related sites: I blocked reddit (on PC, phone, and Ipad), twitter, changed my YouTube subscriptions, deleted discord, uninstalled steam, and got rid of pretty much anything else that had any gaming-related content in it. I would still use Youtube, but primarily for music and art tutorials. I would still use Instagram, but just to catch up with friends. Oh and, I do allow myself 2 minutes on twitter/reddit daily, but via using a timed blocking app so I never go above that. Finally, I say that you use the journal for more self-reflection rather than a summary of your day/status update. For many people here, gaming addiction is not the "core" of your problems, but rather the outcome of another problem. Not sure if that is true for you, but I encourage to self-reflect in some form every day; it helps tremendously. Hope this helps! Cheers, Po P.S.: these things have worked out for me specifically; they might not work out for you. Use at your own risk!

Day 55 No Games: 17. Some urges today, but I'm keeping myself busy as always. I do enjoy a lot of what I am doing right now, but I need to find a stress-relieving activity soon, or gaming will come back since it is the only stress-reliving thing I have right now. No Porn: 2. Yay. Some urges today, but I've been to busy and too invested in feminism history to get cozy here. Today has been an overall good day. Lots of social media- I'll block twitter right now- but also so many things done. I actually felt pretty happy for a lot of today 🙂 Thought of the day: I really hate my hair- it's very dry and I get flakes all the time. But, I also refuse to take good care of it- nothing above washing it. I feel like some of that refusal to do better gets from the little value I give to my hair, which comes... from my dislike of my hair! Another loop discovered, blergh! I wonder where to tackle it in order to break it. Good thing: I very much enjoyed my trombone practice today. Felt like the good old times when I had complete control over my playing. Cheers, Po

Hi Marcin! Welcome to the forum, and best of luck to you too! I've been trying to quit for many years as well, and even though I still have relapsed numerous times since joining GameQuitters, I've relapsed much less and for horter periods of time. It is a journey, with its own bumps and hills, but you will get there! Po