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Day 37 Day 6 of 30 of Challenges. Fine enough day. Still waiting on that last set of results! Chased down a few more admin tasks that had been looming, watched a couple of hours of lectures in preparation for next semester's classes and implemented some of the maths there into python so I don't have to do it all by hand later.

Books has been at this a long time. They know things. It's a journey, and things don't change immediately, but just recognising that it's a problem and taking steps is a tremendously empowering thing. I'm in a very similar position to you, with grades slipping, the military element, and so on; and it's a theme I've seen with a few of us floating about here. Had a similar post in my journal, with all the lies I'd been telling folks to hide it from them and myself. It took a fortnight after I quit before I felt comfortable enough in it to tell people I had - It's all a journey, and don't feel compelled to solve all the problems immediately. Takes a while to get to the point that we arrive on this site, and (predictably, unfortunately), takes a while to rebuild. I shelled out and bought Cam's Respawn which was helpful, if only to have some sort of concrete outline to move towards. Just having someone say do this, then this early on was a good kick in the right direction. Best of luck, Pernix. You've got this!

Day 36 Day 6 of 30 of Challenges. Results are mostly in - Still waiting on one subject that I had an extension on, so the grades are taking a little longer to filter on down. So far, though, it's all passes! Which is great news. I'm not quite able to relax with that one still outstanding, but it's a promising start. Also been called in to work next week to be given the notice I wrote about way back when at the start of this journal. Knew it took a while, and had resigned myself to getting it post-Christmas at this point, so it's a bit of a surprise to be issued it now. Still, one way or the other, hopefully I can have that sorted and behind me by the time New Year comes. It'd be nice to start the 2021 without any of that still hanging over me. Work's been great to me and super tolerant for a long time, all considered. Any extra chances they fling at me at this point are really more than I had any right to expect. Even so, this feels like it's been hanging over me for the best part of a year now and I'm just exhausted more than anything. We'll see how it all comes out. One way or the other, fresh start in 2021.

Day 35 Day 6 of 30 of Challenges. Lost most of the day on the bus out to get a work thing sorted, and then lost the rest getting a little overenthusiastic with a run. If I don't post tomorrow, it's because my legs murdered me in my sleep. Uni results should be arriving tomorrow. Fingers crossed!

Congratulations on the week! It only gets better from here.

Day 34 Day 6 of 30 of Challenges. House cleaning today in preparation for the lease ending at the end of the year. Cleaned walls, did errands, organised some access details for work. Nervously waiting on results for Wednesday. It could go either way at this point, and the tension's something else. Got some writing done over morning coffee, which is always fun. At least, fun afterwards. The actual act of writing's a little like feeding your fingers into a blender, but I keep on going back to it. Become the highlight of my day, that. Let some of my habits slide a bit. I'm not too worried, as I'm at the end of the study semester now. It's good just to ease off and take a break, and I can't remember the last time I didn't have some assessment or work thing hanging over me. Going to head on down to the gym after this journal entry to make up for my missed morning run, and angle to do another sketch after putting dinner together tonight.

Good progress, and good on you for reflecting in a written journal. There's something - I don't know, a bit more reflective, I find, about physically writing things down. Best of luck with the fluid mechanics - Know I struggled with that one a bit when I was doing it, so feel free to ask if you fancy any help. There's a few engineer-y people floating around on these forums.

... Are you me? I've been checking on the Total War subreddits a lot lately. There's a new DLC coming out, don't you know? You know the consequences, but it always seems like such a harmless thing when everything's going well. I'm just dealing with it by telling myself I'll be able to play all the video games I like when I'm old and retired and can't or don't want to do much else. In the meantime, there's stuff that I can only do now to do. Got to keep on keeping on.

Missed the one-month mark congratulations! So, belated congratulations. Glad things are going well for you!

Right? I've spent most of today chipping away at Swords & Cinema, which is a fun little look at how in-the-spirit of the thing the depiction we get of the ancient world in film (300, Alexander, etc) is for some of the more recent movies. It's all pretty light but it's a fun way of presenting it. Day 33 Day 6 of 30 of Challenges. As above. Spent some of the day catching up with people and the rest being a pedant about Game of Thrones.

Day 32 Day 6 of 30 of Challenges. For the first weekend in a long time, I don't have some assessment item looming over me. It's wonderful. I took the chance to torment myself over not playing games for a while, then gave up; did some writing, read some blog posts, and in my boredom-induced meandering, realised that the university access I've had for the longest time gives me free reign to read over a lot of military history stuff on mercenaries that I can pillage for my self-indulgent fantasy writing. So I spent the rest of the day doing that. It was a good day.

Yep, one more semester left now if I'm lucky with this round of results. Fingers crossed! Day 31 Day 6 of 30 of Challenges. Fine day today. It's been a lot of nothing the last couple of days, really. Been a wee but under the weather, so just been resting up and getting caught up on a few little things that lapsed while I knocked out that last assignment. Fairly peaceful, really. Been filling in time reading. All is well. A month now, too!

Sounds like things are settling down some for you, which is good! Hope the meeting with the therapist goes well - Know it was a real help to me, getting in.

Day 29. Day 6 of 30 of Challenges. Day good. Code probably passable. Assignment done. Had a heart attack when I work up to a very polite email from my course coordinator telling me the due date was two days ago and they were looking but hadn't found my submission. Turned out the extension I'd requested had been approved, but I hadn't read the approval thoroughly and the date had been shifted forward from what I initially requested to allow for time to mark. It was due two days ago rather than tomorrow. Several frantic emails later, the very kind (and doubtless thoroughly sick of me) university staff took pity on me and let me submit. When all this is sorted and it doesn't look like a bribery attempt I'll have to have coffee and chocolates sent around to the office or something. So. That's the end of the assessments. I'm not super confident. Most of the ones I've made since I quit games are better than what I've submitted for the past six months. Whether that's enough to drag mediocre marks to passes, well - It'll be a near thing. Fingers very, very much crossed. Going to get the leftovers out of the microwave and settle for the night.

Day 28. Day 6 of 30 of Challenges. The assignment continues. I have ceased to be as a living being, and exist only as a machine for turning coffee into spaghetti code.

Appreciate the vote of confidence, Bird! It's not so nasty as all of that, and there's nothing there I want or am owed, really. Just want to see the blasted thing settled so folks can get on with their lives. Day 27. Day 6 of 30 of Challenges. Short journal entry today. Working on an assignment. I need to get through another couple of lectures tonight before bed, so that'll be the evening. Implicit finite differences make my head hurt. Otherwise, things going well. Onto the third basics back with headspace now, and I'll be just about through the first month of it soon.

Day 26. Day 6 of 30 of Challenges. Lovely weekend. Took breakfast with the folks, then back home to do some cleaning up around the place. Officially on break now, though I've got an extension to keep working on that last assignment, so that'll occupy most of next week for me. Meditation's been good, though some other habits have slipped a little (my poor sketchbook!). I'll be getting back into them come Monday. I've had an itch to play games again lately to escape from some stress that's floating about. The parents have been living separately for a while now, but divorce papers only just came through. Which is fine, and good news, insofar as it lets them put things behind them and helps everyone get on with their lives. The issue is that there's a chunk of money (it's always money in these situations, isn't it?) that one of the two thought was given to them to help move out and establish themselves a little elsewhere, and the other one just told me that that wasn't really what he meant at all, and that he'll need some of it to live off. This is, mind you, a couple of years down the line. Almost right after the one who's got it has excitedly told me how proud they are to finally have some independence, and has sketched out a plan by which they can finally retire. There's no actual request there yet, or one written on the divorce papers, and the pair of them communicate with each other about as effectively as a pair of boulders, but there's no way this is going to be pleasant. Right in time for the upcoming Christmas break too. I've kept it to myself for now, to avoid stressing people without a concrete request to act on, but, phew. Don't really know what to do about it. It's not as though there's a lot of money floating about. There's no house or other assets between the three of us; and that chunk of money is about all that there is. I've poked around and looked at third party arbitration, and I might present that as an option if I'm asked about it. I've got a good relationship with both and really, really don't want to end up playing go-between here. But it'll likely mean losing a chunk of what there is to legal fees, and there's little enough there already. Family, eh? Love them, but there's times it feels like I've spent a good chunk of my life trying to clean up those messes. Hard not to feel a little resentment, sometimes. It'll come right, no doubt. In the meantime, day by day.

Day 25. Day 6 of 30 of Challenges. Caught up with some folks in town for a visit, today. Spent most of the time in the car getting too and from. Not much else to report, journal. It's a fairly lazy afternoon and an early night.

Day 24. Day 6 of 30 of Challenges. ... I might be stalling a little on those challenges. Have to get on that! Meet people, make mistakes, get messy, all that magic schoolbus stuff. Good day today! Got a decent night's sleep in, schedule's mostly back on track, and finished reading The Trouble With Peace, which was great fun. I missed the release, all bundled up in games. Finding out it was already out was wonderful news. Now to just wait for the last one. Otherwise, fairly lazy. Sorted out a few administrative things for the week that had slipped under the rug while I was doing assignments, and indulged myself by spending far, far too much time writing. Not writing anything productive, mind you. But it's important to have fun too.

Day 23. Day 6 of 30 of Challenges. Fell a little down the procrastination rabbit hole with this last assignment, have to admit. I feel it had about all the academic merit of a slab of wet cardboard when I submitted it, but that's to be expected to some extent. Three weeks game free is great, but it's not magic and can't undo a semester's worth of divided attention. It's a nice feeling to have the last remnants of it nearly done, though. There's one more assignment due now, and I'm confident that one I can do well on. Really looking forward to next semester and doing my assignments as part of a structured block of time rather than a stress-induced last minute rush that leaves me in a haze for the next day or so. Feel like I've been playing catch-up a while now. Been a little lax on hobbies too, with the all-devouring threat of assignments. Which is sort-of the root of the problem for me. Seems the more time I give myself to do a thing, the more time I give myself to not do it. Sleep schedule got bumped around some with a late one last night, so missed the morning run. Still, kept the meditation train going. Going to run a few errands before it gets dark.

Man, I love your journal. Just check in every now and then, and it's just Alejandro, getting along, keeping on keeping on. A little belated, but congratulations on the three weeks! And the pizza, of course.

Welcome back my dude. I saw your old journal go quiet for a bit, and wondered what'd happened. Welcome back again, and best of luck!

Stormlight, woo! I've had the second-latest one sitting on my ereader for the longest time, but never quite sat down to work through it again. Perhaps it'll be time to get reacquainted soon.

Day 22. Day 6 of 30 of Challenges. Right? It's great to be able to put out something vaguely long form again. That said, it's worked merry havoc on my assignment schedule, so tonight's likely to be a late one again. I really need to work on that. But, hey, little steps. And at least a good chunk of this one's already done.

Day 21. Day 6 of 30 of Challenges. Grk! Definitely didn't forget the journal today and wander back to the PC right before bed to do it. Nope. Not that. I've been practicing my writing on a play-by-post forum, which is good fun. I got distracted! I swear, Journal, you're my first love. It's alright. I would never abandon you.